The Secrets Inside Us
by TheLyricsAreMyStory
Summary: Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny, Wendy and Bebe have reached senior year at South Park High. However, each of them has a secret that is preventing them from looking to the future. Covering some of the most predominant issues teenagers face today, follow the characters as they tackle the world of adolescence. Stendy, Benny, Style and Crendy all included. Rated T for content.
1. Author Introduction

**Author Note:**

 **I'm back!**

 **So since the Everything Changes trilogy, I have been on a break to get exams out of the way and now that they are over, I am going to start writing a new story.**

 **Problem is, I was completely stuck for ideas, I came up with a few ideas; spin-offs of Everything Changes, a Bendy novel (Wendy and Bebe), all of which I discussed with RatherOddRanger, who has been working on his own spin-off of the final Everything Changes book. It is absolutely amazing and I am so pleased with how it has turned out. If you would like to check out his book (which I suggest you do) it is called 'Everything Changes - The Last Great Console War'.**

 **So anyway, after all my ideas didn't do much for me, I tried something similar to Everything Changes, as coming of age novels are what I enjoy writing most. Don't get me wrong, Clueless was a great change for me and I am so happy with how it concluded, but I feel I really connect with the characters in this genre. (Does that sound sad? I don't know...).**

 **This book is called 'The Secrets Inside Us', following Stan, Cartman, Kyle, Kenny, Wendy and Bebe in their senior year of High School. This time however, each of them has a secret which they bottle up inside of them and I am going to try and portray how that can affect a person. These are; anorexia, depression, teenage pregnancy, alcoholism, homosexuality and breast cancer. I and people I am close to have dealt with some of these issues so I understand how hard it can be to face up to the situation.**

 **To watch the trailer for the book before you begin to read, you can follow this link:** **watch?v=Pvg18iepMug**

 **Updates may be slow or fast depending on how things are going right now, so bear with me.**

 **Overall I hope you enjoy this new book, leave a review to let me know how you are finding it.**

 **It's great to be back!**

 **Hannah.**


	2. Prologue

Prologue:

Six teenagers were sat in a circle, staring into one another's eyes and daring someone to speak first. There were secrets that had to be told, secrets that could not forever be kept inside them. It was now or never.

Stan Marsh rose bravely, observing his five friends. "I used to be the boy with the red puffball hat. The simple kid of the group. The 'norm'. Until this aura began to crush me, pushing down on me with its full force of negativity. It was drowning me, I didn't know why, what had happened to make me feel this sad, down, low. What have I done to deserve this? What happened to give me depression?"

"Well you all know me as the 'Jew'. Stan's 'side-kick'. 'The boy with the green hat'." Kyle Broflovski followed in his friend's footsteps. "But you don't know my full identity, the real truth, the real me. See, I was brought up in a religious background, people would make fun of me for it but what's even more difficult is being gay; when you don't know whether to trust the Torah, or believe in who you are supposed to be. But I guess I'm finally finding myself now."

"People say I sleep around." Bebe gave a slight cough. "I suppose it's true... Well you all know it's true. Problem is, I didn't realise it was true until something turned me in the other direction, something I can't change. So now I am going to have this baby, because it is my responsibility, my consequences, it is part of me. They say everything happens for a reason... Let's hope that is true. "

"My name is Kenny McCormick and I am an alcoholic." Kenny raised his voice. "You see people say that all the time on TV programmes. But it is so much harder to say when you actually mean it. When the words weren't just written in a script. When you have had the time to come to terms with the truth. Everyone has enemies and my enemy is the bottle. The cold, refreshing liquid that kills you whilst you are living on cloud nine. My mother always told me that it's the things we need most that destroy us. But never did I think that thing would come in a can."

"Well I suppose I had it coming to me. Because anything I try to prevent just gets stronger." Wendy Testaburger was shaking as she stood up. "I worked so hard to raise awareness for breast cancer. I collected money, painted posters, even physically hurt those who disrespected the people who were being hurt by it themselves. So of course it was going to happen to me. The least expected student in the school. The studious, witty girl who was full of potential. It had to find me to weaken."

"We have all heard the rhyme 'sticks and stones may break my bones, but names can never hurt me'. But we all also know that despite saying it is a pile of shit, it is actually the truth." Eric Cartman recites, clenching his fists as he does so. "Because words don't hurt you. They kill you. They kill you without a weapon. They sink into your brain and eat out your thoughts. It is more painful than any other physical pain, because it stays with you. Being told you are fat, is something a lot of people are told, true or not. But either way, it is not nice. Especially when you have been like this since you can remember. So that's why I stopped eating, because I couldn't take the words anymore. The words stopped and so did my heart for a short while. Because they drove me to anorexia."


	3. Just Like The Movies

Chapter 1:

Stan PoV:

It was the first day of senior year. After being woken suddenly by the screech of my alarm, I had dressed, eaten breakfast and rushed out of my house to get the bus to South Park High.

"Hi Kyle." I greeted my best friend as I reached the frosty side walk. He looked up and waved when he had seen me, a large grin on his face.

"You ready for this?" He smiles, putting his hands back into the pockets of his orange coat.

"Hey, it's senior year." I shrug. "It's our last year of high school, we look down on everyone else and all of our classmates have finally matured."

"Hi losers!" Cartman greets as he waddles towards us, giving the finger underneath is yellow gloves.

"Well, maybe not everyone..." Kyle whispers as we exchange a look. How we were still friends with this fat lump of shit was beyond me, but unfortunately, we were. Well actually, he was now best friends with Butters, so we did spend less time with him than originally. When he was too embarrassed to spend the time with his blonde friend however, he hung out with our squad, consisting of Kyle, me, my girlfriend Wendy, Kenny and his girlfriend Bebe. "Hey Cartman."

"And Kenny." I added when the boy in the orange hoodie appeared behind him. Back in elementary school, he would wear a massive orange parka, covering his body and the majority of his face. Now though, he has swapped to a jacket, with the hood down, which made him a little less intimidating and people could understand him fully.

"Sup guys." He waves as he reaches Kyle, Cartman and I. "So who is ready for hell?"

"Nope." Cartman chipped in. "I haven't done any of my assignments, or that project we were asked to do on earthquakes."

"Well as I am not a complete douche, I am actually looking forward to senior year." Kyle argued.

"Yeah." I agreed. "I mean, come on, last year of high school, we can finally beat up all the other years if they hit us with snowballs."

"And all the chicks will be after us too." Kyle adds. "They love seniors."

"Chicks won't be after you, you're a Jew, you can't bang them until you are married." Cartman objects.

"That's not true Cartman, you know nothing about the Bible!" Kyle yells and they immediately begin having a punch up.

"Well, some things don't change at least." I whisper to Kenny.

"Yeah dude, at least we don't have the problem of being single." He points out and I nod as the bus pulls up. We both drag our friends apart and haul them onto the school bus as we head towards South Park High.

Kenny PoV

So here I was. Back at school. I was surprised I had made it this far, what with dying every day. You never know if you are going to return.

But I had made it. Senior year and I was striding through the corridors, Stan and Cartman on one side, Kyle on the other. It looked like in the movies, when they would show this scene in slow motion, demonstrating who the 'popular kids' are.

The scene got paused however, when we heard the voices from behind us. A pair of hands flew over my eyes, cold from the snow outside.

"Guess who." Bebe's voice sounds and I spin around to kiss her.

"Stanny!" Wendy shouts as she runs up to Stan and he spins her around.

"Ugh..." Kyle mutters, going to elbow Cartman in the ribs but noticing he had already left to chat to Craig and Butters across the hall. "Fucking fifth wheeling again... I need to find a girl..."

After he has walked off in a strop, I link hands with Bebe and we lean up against the lockers along with Stan and Wendy.

"Have you got your timetable yet?" Bebe asks us, pulling out hers from her pocket. "Wendy and I are in most of our lessons together."

"Yeah actually, mine arrived yesterday." Stan pulls out his and compares it with his girlfriends.

"Wait, why haven't I had my timetable?" I frowned. Immediately I was out of place and we were only five minutes into senior year.

"Maybe your parents couldn't afford the postage." Stan laughs and Wendy buries her head in his shoulder.

"Fuck you Stan." I flip him off and Bebe wraps her arms round my shoulders, still giggling.

"We love you really." She smiles and I bump fists with Stan.

Wendy PoV

So here I was, sat in my new homeroom. I was not going to lie about being excited to be back at school. I loved it and I'm sure most people knew that. I was student body president, deputy head cheerleader and I had the best friends and boyfriend a girl could wish for. You see all these cheesy high school films about how amazing senior year is, I was pretty certain it was the truth. Everything just seemed so perfect right now, I don't think anything could ruin it.

"Good morning South Park High, these are the morning announcements and I am Eric Cartman." A voice boomed out over the classroom. I spoke too soon.

"Oh fuck." Kyle whined, throwing his pencil back down on his desk.

"As you all probably know, I am now a senior at this school and so over rule all of you." He drones on. "That includes our student body president Wendy Testaburger."

"Really? Again?" I ask Stan who is next to me and he rolls his eyes.

"I would like to wish all our freshmen the best of luck and welcome back to all our existing students." Cartman's voice rings out. "I'm sure you will have your head down the school toilets before you know it. For lunch today the cafeteria will be serving steak and baked potatoes. Whatever happened to the chips? Chips are the best part of our school and now we are only allowed them on Fridays! What is up with that? Personally, I think it is up to our Eco-Monitor Kyle Broflovski to sort this out. Chips are potatoes, potatoes grow in the ground and Kyle is responsible for caring for this. Soccer try outs are also happening today at recess. These are going to be held in front of the head footballer Stan Marsh. Good luck with that, he is so up his own ass he won't be able to see any of you. Along with auditions for the cheerleading squad, their team captain Bebe Stevens is very similar, it's going to take a lot to impress her, unless you are skint like Kenny McCormick, in which case she will bang you on the field there and then."

"Why the fuck is he reading the announcements again?" Bebe shouts and everyone agrees with her.

"So with that, I hope everyone has a great day back at school, with the exception of the Jews, poor and any members of sports teams... If you can call cheerleading a sport." The announcements end and everyone gives a sigh of relief.

"He is an actual twat." I conclude, going back to colour-coding my timetable.

"Remind me why we are still friends with him?" Stan asks Kyle and he just shrugs.

I think it was safe to say that this was going to be the most eventful year of our lives.


	4. Fifth Wheeling

**Chapter 2:**

 **Cartman PoV**

I was quite pleased with the way I had delivered the morning announcements. Since Elementary I had been banned from reading them as I had either been student body president or Casey Miller had taken over my role.  
However, now he was attending a boarding school in Idaho, which had nothing to do with me, of course.  
So I had reinstated my role of the morning announcement reader last semester, which I was sure everyone was thrilled about. Besides, now I was in senior year, I had much more chance of being able to change the school for the better. If I could just get Wendy on my side, which I was doing a pretty good job at currently.

"Hey dudes." I greet my friends as I enter the dinner hall.

"Fuck off Cartman." Wendy snaps as I go to sit down next to her. Great, she was talking to me, this was all going to plan. However, I decided to go ahead and join the lunch queue to get my steak and baked potato meal.

"Well hey Eric." I heard Butters' voice from behind me.

"Hi Butters." I turned to face him. "Sup man."

"Well uh, not much." He bashes his knuckles together. "Suppose I'm um happy to be back at school. Your morning announcements were super cool again I guess."

"Why thank you Butters." I say in my sarcastic tone. "Let's not start up a rally with the nerdy kids again shall we? We don't want you shitting on anyone's doorsteps again."

"I won't Eric." He promises and looks down at the floor. I reach the front of the lunch queue and the cook piles up my plate with steak and potato. I wonder how they know that I eat so much, they always give me extra food... Maybe they just like me. I did wish we still had our Chef from Elementary school however. He was not just the school cook, but also someone we could go to if we had a problem. If he was here now, I bet he would be cooking us chips every day and I could talk to him about my plans to change the school.

 **Kyle PoV**

Is it called fifth wheeling when you are hanging out with two couples? Both of which were draped over one another, feeding each other bits of their lunch. It made me sick. Stan and Wendy I could deal with, they had been together since third grade on and off and so over time I had got used to my best friend being Wendy's property. However, I had to admit I often got jealous of it, since middle school they had spent a lot more time together and as we were now all in the same friendship group, I didn't feel like I had my best friend anymore. In fact, he spent a lot of time with Kenny too.  
Speaking of which, Kenny and Bebe were a nightmare. They had got together last year and had broken up a few times since. I was surprised that Bebe had settled for one guy as she is your stereotypical 'slut'. Head cheerleader. Blonde princess. Destined to be prom queen. She has slept around with about ten of the boys in our year, including Token, Clyde and Craig. But not me of course, I was still the little Jewish Virgin, which put me under a ton of pressure when I had to hang around with two sets of love's young dream constantly. The only other boys in the year I was aware had not slept with everyone, were Scott Malkinson, Kevin Stoley, Butters and Cartman, which was not surprising in the slightest. Tweek and Craig had got together in junior year too, so I was assuming they had slept together, although with Tweek's severe anxiety, it was probably a challenge.

So I was an outsider. I did not hang out with Cartman or Butters when I could help it and Kevin was friends with the nerdy kids in the year below. Scott had a lisp and diabetes so people would think I was weird if I hung around with him. I just had to smile and pretend I knew what they were going on about when they talked about this shit. Plus I was so much a fifth wheel, I was on a completely different bicycle. A unicycle. I did not know what was wrong with me, but there must be something if I had been categorised alongside Cartman, Scott, Butters and Kevin.

"So Saturday night then, we are all going to Shakey's?" I heard Bebe ask and I snapped back to reality.

"Yeah sure sounds good." I pipe up and they all turn to look at me as if I was invisible before.

"Um... Kyle it's sort of a double date kind of thing..." Stan bites his lip. "Weren't you listening to us before? They have a deal on for couples night."

"Oh..." I begin to blush and so lean on my hand to cover it up. Of course it would be a 'double date kind of thing', that's what it always is nowadays. I could not remember the last time Stan, Kenny and I went out together, we could even drag Cartman along for old times sake. But no, now I was always excluded because I was the single reject. "Yeah, I know. I meant, it sounds good for you. I'm busy Saturday night anyway."

"Really? Doing what?" Kenny asks politely, aware that I had not been involved very much this lunchtime.

"Um... Helping my dad." I lied. Brilliant, what an exciting thing to be doing on Saturday night. I could not think of anything better, could I?

"Wow... Sounds fun." Kenny laughed and Bebe giggled with him.

"It's cool Kyle, maybe we can hang out on Sunday." Stan suggested and this pissed me off even more. I didn't want to hang out with Stan on Sunday. I was always available when he wanted me and I was sick of it.

"No, sorry, I'm busy on Sunday too." I continue to bullshit. "I'm meeting this girl."

"Girl?" Stan's eyes widen and they all perk up to join in the conversation. As soon as I don't look like a lonely fuck, they all begin to find me interesting. "What girl?"

"Does she go to this school?" Wendy asks.

"Is it Lola?" Bebe teases. "Or Jenny? Or Millie?"

"No, she doesn't go to this school." I tell them, my story getting out of hand. "She attends a school in Denver."

"Well what's her name?" Kenny asks me, squeezing my cheeks in a jokey way.

"Um... Cady." I remember back to when Ike and I watched _Mean Girls_ a few weeks ago... That never happened, of course...

"Oooh!" Wendy choruses. "Kyle and Cady sitting in a tree!"

"Well why don't you invite her on Saturday night?" Stan suggests and my heart stops for a second. Shit.

"What?" I stammer. "Uh... No sorry, I'm helping my dad, remember?"

"Well I'm sure that can be postponed!" Bebe laughs. "It's not like it's a meeting with the president or anything."

"Yeah come on Kyle." Kenny beckons. "We'd love to meet her."

"Plus then it can be like a triple date." Stan adds and my eyes dart from couple to couple.

"Please?" Wendy begs. I had no way of getting out of this one. I would just have to find a girl really quick.

"Ok fine." I shrug. I was in shit now.

 **Bebe PoV**

After an eventful lunchtime, it was time for the cheerleading tryouts. Wendy was at a council meeting and so could not make the auditions, so instead I had asked Red and Lola to join me. There were only two places up for grabs since last years seniors had graduated and I thought they would get filled relatively quickly. However, judging by the girls we had seen so far, it did not look like we were ever going to have a full team. They mostly consisted of Freshmen, eager to join the cheerleading squad to raise their popularity status, but none of them could even do an air straddle so that was a no no. There had also been two Sophomore girls who were slightly better but still not the standard I was anticipating for this team.

"This is not going well." I turn to my friends who are making notes in their booklets.

"I know." Lola chips in. "Did you see that one girl? She was the size of Eric Cartman!"

"And that other one, with the greasy hair." Red adds.

"Ew yeah." Lola scrunches up her nose. "And the one with the lazy eye."

"I wasn't really judging on physical appearance." I interject. "Although that girl was very large... None of them can do the tricks this team requires."

"Perhaps we can just keep the team as it is?" Red suggests.

"Nah, we need the right numbers to do quadrant lifts." I bite my lip. "We need another member at least."

"Well we've still got a few left to audition." Lola scans her booklet. "Let's give her chance."

"Next please?" I call and the door swings open. We all gasp as a gorgeous looking boy walks into the hall. "Ehem, the football tryouts are outside."

"I know." He smiles and I melt a little inside. "I'm here for the cheerleading squad."

There is silence as we all take time to gather our thoughts. A boy on the cheerleading squad? I don't think we had ever had that before in the South Park Cows. But he was eye candy for the girls so I was prepared to give it a shot.

"Ok, fire away." I wink at him and he begins his routine as Red and Lola nudge me, telling me not to flirt when I have a boyfriend.  
His routine consists of a variety of tricks that are all very well executed, in fact, he is better than the majority of people currently on the squad. When he finishes we all stand up and applaud him. "Well..."

"Ryan." He inserts.

"Ryan, that was a stunning performance." I tell him. "We would like to invite you to join the South Park Cows. Practice starts next Tuesday after school."

"Bebe, I thought we were supposed to discuss the candidates before we select them" Red whispers.

"Did you watch that routine?" I snap at her. "That was miles better than the rest of the candidates put together."

"Thank you very much." He gives a slight cough to remind us he is still here.

"What year are you in?" I blurt out. I had been wondering this since he walked in. He was much too tall to be a Freshman but I had never seen him around before.

"Erm, I'm a junior." He explains. "But I'm new to the school, I moved over from Russell, Alabama over summer break."

"Awesome." I mutter and stand to shake his hand. "Well welcome to the team Ryan, we hope to see you Tuesday."

"Thank you again." He shakes my hand and exits.

"He's totally into me." I gush, Red and Lola immediately pouncing on me.

"Bebe! What would Kenny say?" Lola gasps and I give her a look.

"Just because I have a boyfriend doesn't mean I can't go window shopping." I laugh, this was going to be a good year.


	5. Beans On Toast

**Kyle PoV**

My head was spinning from today's events and the lies I had told. This was going to be a tricky situation to get out of, as I had not had a girlfriend since middle school when I went out with Nicole briefly after she had broken up with Token. They got back together in Sophomore year however, for some reason, after Token had slept with Bebe. I guess maybe she got jealous, I don't know.  
Maybe it was my faith, or my dedication to my studies, or the ginger afro that is concealed under my green hat. But there was something about me, which made the girls turn away.

"Hi buble!" My mother sings as I open the door to my green house.

"Hi mom." I sigh, throwing my bag down by the door and slumping down in a chair.

"Kyle, what's the matter?" She stops dusting the ceiling and sits down next to me. "I've made some Borekas, do you want one?"

"No." I almost shout at her and then restrain myself. "No, thank you, sorry."

"Did your first day back not go well?" She asks and I give another sigh, twiddling my thumbs.

"No, it did, it's just..." I trail off. "I just feel a bit left out, you know?"

"How can that be?" She gasps, my mother always over-reacts about everything. This is why I hardly ever tell her anything. You say the word 'fuck' and suddenly she has declared war on Canada, I don't know. "My little buble is the smartest in his class, a steady home environment, a bright future-"

"Yeah, yeah you're right mom." I silence her, getting up to leave. "I'm gonna go do my homework."

"Ok well don't forget cousin Sian is arriving tomorrow." She calls and this stops me in my tracks. "Who is cousin Sian?"

"Your cousin, Kyle." She blinks at me as if it is obvious.

"What, Kyle has a sister?" I ask, to clear up any confusion, I had another Jewish cousin called Kyle, who was even weirder than me.

"No, she is on the other side of the family, lives in Massachusetts." Mother babbles. "She is doing work experience in Denver for her Junior year project and so I said she could stay with us."

"Well how come you've never mentioned her before?" I frown, trying to scan my brain for any memories of 'cousin Sian'.

"I don't know..." Mom shrugs, this all seemed a bit odd. "She will be sharing a room with you though, Ike decided."

"Well that's unfair!" I retort. "Why does Ike get to choose-"

"Go and so you homework Kyle." She orders, sternly and I give a slight groan as I head up the stairs. I had more important things on my mind right now and that was using social media to search for any girl in a twenty mile radius who was both human and would agree to spend an evening with me. This was going to be tough...

 **Kenny PoV**

My house was my least favourite place on Earth. Although I had recently decorated my room, so that the carpet was not mouldy, the curtains were not moth eaten and I had sheets on my bed which actually kept some warmth in. My family still drove me crazy. My dad was job hopping and my mother washes dishes down at Country Kitchen Buffet, which was rebuilt a few years back. So as you can tell, we don't receive a very large income. I have a part time job working at the local hardware store three times a week, hence why my room has been re-done, as I actually earn a larger salary than both my parents put together. I spend it mostly on myself and Karen, buying us extra meals and anything she needs. It was not her fault my parents were washed up pieces of scum, none of my wages were spent on them, ever.

"Kenny, time for dinner." My mom's distinct redneck voice calls up the stairs. When she says 'dinner' she probably means frozen waffles or a tin of mushy peas, anything they can get from the local food bank. It was a nice surprise to realise that tonight we were having beans on toast, purely because mom and dad were not eating with us, so Kevin, Karen and I got a more hearty meal.

"Where's dad?" I ask mom as she sits down at the end of the table, cracking open a can of Pabst Blue Ribbon for her meal. I had told them to stay away from the stuff, it resulted in the three of us getting put into care for a short period when we were younger, as they got arrested for anti-social behaviour. Of course, they never listen.

"Where do you think?" She slurs her words slightly and that indicated that this wasn't the first drink she had consumed today.

Pub. That's right, although my dad is currently unemployed, he spends our Welfare money down at Skeeters bar most nights, getting wasted on the cheap shit and begging shots off lonely old men.

I just nod at my mom, eyeing her up as she takes another gulp of her drink. I glance across to Karen who was sat next to me, stirring her beans around her plate with a plastic fork. Kevin was stuffing his meal down him, he probably had not eaten since breakfast and needed to get out for his next shift on the streets. Speed and cocaine is what he specializes in, earning hundreds more dollars than any of the rest of us. Of course, he spent none of it on us, he was hoping to buy his own apartment out of town sometime soon with his savings. I do not know how as he blows half of it down the strip club in Denver every weekend. Mom and dad had no problem with it, but that was because they had never had a reason to teach us morals, plus he gave them a fix when they were desperate.

"Kenny are you in work tonight?" Karen asks me quietly. If it wasn't for her I would be out of here now; living on the streets would be better than this dump. But I could never take her with me and I loved her too much to leave her behind.

"No." I chew my food slowly, I could see her bread was mouldy. She was eating it the best she could because bread to us was a treat, in date or not. But the crust was so blue, trust our parents to give her the most rotten piece. When mom gets up to throw her can in the trash, I quickly swap our plates round and squeeze her hand. She shakes her head at me but I had argued against her so many times on this occasion that she tucked in without further questioning. "Hey, how about we go for a walk tonight, you and me?" I ask her eventually and she looks up at me with big hazel eyes.

"Well as long as you two mutts don't interfere with my corner..." Kevin growls and I tear my eyes away from Karen.

"We don't want to go anywhere near your corner thanks." I glare at him and he returns the look before getting up to throw his plate in the sink. Mom often steals them from the buffet when her no one is looking, else we would be eating from paper plates instead.

"Kevin McCormick, you wash that dish." Mom snaps back to reality as he heads for the front door. She has been staring out of the window for the past ten minutes. Probably dreaming of the life she could of had if she didn't drop out of school at fifteen to live in a cardboard box with this pothead who later beat her up.

"That's your job, lazy shit." He yells back in his mono tonal voice before slamming the door behind him.

"Come on Karen, let's get out of here." I grab her hand and we follow in Kevin's footsteps, mom yelling at us to help her before she passes out against the wall.

"Is mommy going to be alright?" Karen pipes up, not letting go of my hand.

"Uh... Yeah probably." I shrug, I didn't really care if she was or not. "Come on, let's go to Raisins and get some milkshakes."

 **Wendy PoV**

"So you see Nicole, that is why you don't make the effort to apologise to Token first. Choosing his friends over you is way worse than you kicking off about it. You just have to wait for him to make the first move, all guys to it eventually." I explain to Nicole, who was on the other end of the line. I was multi-tasking by painting my nails, watching a documentary on globalisation and sorting her issues out at the same time. I should win a medal for this kind of thing.

"Are you really sure about that?" She sighs. "I don't want him to think that I don't care."

"That's exactly what you want him to think." I point out. "If it looks like you don't care, then he will begin to feel jealous and come crawling back to you. He's gonna crack at some point. Trust me, I do it with Stan all the time."

"Hey!" My boyfriend interjects from the other side of my room. Stan was sat on my bed reading a comic. I didn't know why he was here, it wasn't as if I was being very entertaining. But as long as he wasn't bothering me too much, I was fine with it.

"Ok, well, as long as your sure." Nicole sounds a bit more confident after my pep talk. I am about to respond with the 'I am always right' excuse when there is a beeping noise sounding from my cell phone.

"Ugh, sorry Nicole, there's another incoming call." I tell her, why did I have to be so popular? "I'll just get rid of them, hold." I pressed the hold button and picked up the other call. "Hello?"

"Wendy hi." A familiar voice sounded.

"Cartman?" I groan, putting him on speaker phone. If Eric Cartman was going to harass me, I needed a witness to the conversation. Stan had suddenly looked up at the mention of his name, looking confused. "How do you have my number?"

"Oh... Stan gave it to Craig, who gave it to Tweek, who passed it to Butters who sent it to me." Cartman recited and I spun my chair around to glare at Stan, who holds his hands up defensively.

"Craig told me he needed it for a project you were working on in History." Stan admits and I raise my eyebrows.

"Why would I be working with Craig for a history project?" I ask him.

"I don't know, I don't take History!" He shrugs, turning back to his comic.

"What do you want Cartman?" I groan, still aware that Nicole was on hold.

"I need your help Wendy." He whispers as if he is a spy and the phone call is being recorded.

"For what?" I hiss.

"To change the school, together." Cartman mumbles. "You and I, we can bring back the full sized lockers, longer recess, chips can be served every day."

"...No, you fat fuck!" I yell preparing to hang up.

"Oh but why?" He whines now, returning to his usual spoilt tone.

"Because I'm perfectly happy with the way school is!" I retort, waiting for another long whine, maybe even some tears to try and convince me to change my mind.

"You're breaking my balls Wendy." He mutters and then hangs up. I turn to look at Stan again, who looks as confused as me.

"The fuck?" Stan frowns and we both shrug, going back to our previous activities.


	6. The Truth Hurts

**Chapter 4:**

 **Stan PoV:**

"Dude, did you talk to Cady anymore last night?" I hit Kyle with a ball of scrunched up paper, which almost knocks his hat off.

"Can we not talk about this now?" He hisses at me from the end of the row, as Clyde and Jason turn to stare at him. We were in our first Geology class of the school year, in which no girls had opted to take. So it literally consisted of me, Kyle, Clyde, Jason, Cartman, Butters, Jimmy, Douglas, Francis and Peter Mullen. So overall, it was a pretty shitty and rather small class.

An upside of taking Geology however was that we were twenty minutes into our lesson and the teacher had not turned up. This would be paradise for me if Kenny, Craig and Token were in the lesson, instead of the fat lump of lard that was blocking my view, a couple of people who hardly said anything and Peter; a kid who mostly talked about his pet frog. I was sat on the back row next to Clyde, who was next to Jason and Kyle, which was also a positive as it meant I did not have Cartman kicking my chair or Butters blowing on my neck.

"Who's Cady?" Clyde asks Kyle and he gives me a look. I don't know why he was throwing a hissy fit about it, it's not like I just told everyone he had joined the Illuminati or anything.

"Just… This girl." Kyle shrugs, I didn't understand, yesterday he was hyping over her and now he didn't seem to give a shit. Cartman whipped his head around at this point, clearly eavesdropping on our conversation instead of listening to Jimmy's tit joke, which I would have thought he would find more interesting.

"Kyle's got a girlfriend?" Cartman begins to laugh. "Bullshit."

"Shut up Cartman." Kyle defends himself. "Besides, she's not my girlfriend."

"Yet." I wink at Jason who mimes a fisting action at me and I laugh hysterically.

"Guys, can you all just fuck off?" Kyle raises his voice, going back to scribbling on a notepad. What he was writing I didn't know, it wasn't like we had any work to do.

"Ouch, Kyle I think it's time to change your tampon." Cartman teases and I nudge him to tell him to stop. I am still laughing though, along with Clyde and Jason, which Kyle finds even more irritating. But instead of yelling again, he picks his stuff up and moves to sit on the row over to the left side of the classroom next to Francis, who is sitting alone. There is silence for about ten seconds, whilst Kyle goes back to writing notes and Francis stares at him, confused. "Aw, look you guys, it's the two Jews sitting together." Cartman cooes, trying to wind Kyle up even more, but he is still blanking him. No one knows for certain what religion Francis is, but we all assume he is Jewish as he used to be in the Jew scouts back in Elementary school. "I think this is the start of a new found friendship." He continues to twist the knife in; annoyed that Kyle is ignoring his taunts. "Hey Kyle, maybe you can go to the Synagogue together on Sunday."

"Maybe you should try and lose some weight." Kyle mutters and this angers Cartman. For years now Cartman has completely denied the fact he is fat, despite the names we call him.

"I don't think that is necessary Kyle." Cartman replies, his hand gripping the desk.

"I do." Kyle is still staring down at his paper and talking in a matter-of-fact tone. "Someone needs to get it into that thick skull of yours. I tried once, but you just bought a mobility scooter. You're so fat; no one will ever love you. No one will ever be able to fit into the same bed as you. You try and have sex with someone and they will just use you as a bouncy castle. That is probably why you are an only child, because your mother could only afford to feed _you_ , as _you_ eat all the food. You've always been fat and if you don't do something about it, my bet is that you won't last another year without having a heart attack."

He finishes and my jaw drops open, alike every other student in our class. No one, I repeat, no one, ever pushed Cartman's limits. We all knew he could dish out the hate but could not take it and we all knew what he did to the people who did hurt him. Look at Scott Tenorman for example. We all seethed in the silence, awaiting Cartman's harsh words, a brutal punch up. But there was none. Instead, he pulled himself out of the chair and walked out of the classroom door.

At that precise moment a tall teacher with square glasses passed him, watching him disappear down the corridor and then turning to us.

"Oops, one has already gone?" He chuckles to himself. "I haven't even got my super cool PowerPoint up yet!" There is a short silence before Kyle sighs, gets up and leaves out of the fire door at the other side of the room, most likely so he does not bump into Cartman. "…Ok, well I had better start quickly then, I need _some_ students in my class."

I exchange a look with Clyde. It was safe to say that Geology was going to be a really crappy subject.

 **Bebe PoV**

Art History was turning out to be a pretty awesome lesson; our teacher Miss Kelly was lovely and had already taken a liking to me. But the best thing about it was that Cartman was not in this class. There were only three boys in here; Kenny, Tweek and Kevin. The other students consisted of Wendy, Red, Annie, Milly, Esther, Powder, Heidi, Jenny and Lola. In fact, the only cheerleaders who were not in the class were Nicole and Nelly, who were most likely in music with Token and Craig. I was sat on a square table with Kenny, Wendy and Red as I watched Kenny sketch the intricate detail on one of the butterfly wings he was drawing. He was an amazing artist, the best in our year by far, some people think it is pathetic but I think it is beautiful. He once told me that he used to draw when he was little to imagine he was somewhere far away, it was his only method of escaping reality. So now every picture he sketches I always think has a message behind it. I am trying to think up an idea for the butterfly when he raises his head and his eyes meet mine. I look away quickly, blushing but he has already seen me.

"What?" He gives a slight smile, having caught me out.

I turn back to face him our eyes fixated on one another. "Nothing…" I bite my lip to stop myself from grinning. "It's just the way you look."

"Oh thanks Bebe." He laughs and I shake my head.

"No!" I brush the blonde hair out of his eyes. "When you draw; you look really involved with it, very studious." He frowns, not knowing whether this was a compliment or not. "It's cute." I reassure him and he is about to lean in and kiss me when Red interrupts us.

"Do you two mind?" She pipes up. "There's an extremely jealous girl sitting right here."

"Yeah, I have to look at Red when she's drawing." Wendy scrunches up her nose playfully. "It doesn't have the same effect!"

"Wendy!" Red laughs pretending to jab her with a paintbrush.

"Oh get a room." Kenny winks at them and they both raise their eyebrows before Wendy kisses Red on the cheek and goes back to her work. Another five minutes pass as I add detail to the ball gown I am sketching onto a piece of paper, then the bell sounds.

"Ok class, thank you very much for today." Miss Kelly smiles, getting up from helping Kevin; he had been crying half of the lesson because he could not draw a tomato. I begin to pack up my things and sling my bag over my shoulder.

"Thank you Miss Kelly." I beam before I exit the room.

"Kissass." Wendy sticks her tongue out at me when we arrive back in the school hallway. I link hands with Kenny whilst rolling my eyes at Wendy and Red. We are about to turn the corner when we hear a voice shouting Red's name. We all turn to see Kevin, a few meters away from us.

"Yeah?" Red frowns, giving both Wendy and I an odd look. Why did Kevin Stoley want to talk to Red?

"Um… I was just wondering whether…" He stammers, wringing his hands nervously. "…Well there's this offer at Shakey's on Saturday and well… I… Doesn't matter!"

He turns on his heel and begins running in the opposite direction. We all look taken aback for a second before giggling. "Oh my God!" I cover my mouth with my hand.

"Someone has a crush on Red!" Wendy teases and Red's eyes widen.

"Did that actually just happen?" She stares at us.

"You should _totally_ go for it." I joke, wrapping Kenny's arms around my waist.

"Kevin Stoley?" She pulls a face as we start walking again. "No thank you! Besides, I have my eye on someone else at the moment."

"What? Who?" Wendy and I chorus as we stop in our tracks again. Kenny looks bored as fuck but I don't care, this was important.

"Well, I would tell you but not in front of Kenny." She points at my boyfriend.

"Come on Red, he's not going to tell anyone!" I argue.

"Well they're like best friends." Red bites her lip.

"Woah." Wendy holds her hand out and then grins. "You stay away from Stan."

"It's not Stan, stupid." She rolls her eyes and Wendy looks slightly offended. "Ok fine, it's Kyle…"

"Kyle?" We all yell and the corridor falls silent.

Red gives everyone an uneasy glance until it returns back to the usual chatter. "Yeah, what's wrong with that?"

I glance at Wendy and she bites her lip. "Um… Well Kyle said he is sort of… on it with someone else at the moment."

"What really?" Red looks shocked. "Who?"

"Cady something…" I shrug. "He wouldn't really give us many details except that she lives in Denver."

"Oh right…" She trails off, looking slightly disappointed and I feel pretty bad for her. "Well that's ok, it's nothing serious. Just… Don't tell him I said anything ok?"

"Promise." I link my little finger with hers and Wendy does the same, before we continue back down the hallway.


	7. Tears Of Hatred

**Chapter 6:**

 **Cartman PoV**

As soon as my front door was shut behind me, the tears began to fall. Mom was still at work and would not get back until four, so I had time to cry. If only I had Clyde Frog to explain my feelings to, but I didn't, I hadn't had him for many years now.

Kyle. Kyle has destroyed my life time and time again. I try and get my revenge by mocking his religion, his mom, his smartass brain. But he always hits me back, ten times harder.

I begin to throw the couch cushions at the wall, chipping away the paint. I hammer my fists into the floor as I think about my life, the life I lead, the life I could have changed so long ago.

'You're so fat; no one will ever love you.' The words echo in my head, the words I had heard for so many years but I had always ignored. 'My bet is that you won't last another year without having a heart attack'. I feel the steady beat of my heart in my chest as Kyle's voice repeats over and over. I thump my head with my fist several times before bruising it.

I did not want to give Kyle Broflovski the satisfaction of hurting me, but he had. Now the words were too deep, carved into my brain. I knew I had to do something to turn my life around. It was going to be tough, but it was the only way. Kyle was right. I was fat. Everyone knew it. It was just myself that was in denial.

 **Kyle PoV**

I hate him. I hate him and his stupid jokes. His stupid blue and yellow hat. His stupid double, correction, triple chin. I hate the way he waddles around. The way he rips on everyone to make himself feel better. The way he thinks that, if he combs his hair to the side and puts on a different sweater, he is miraculously a good person. I hate the way he mocks my religion when he knows nothing about the Bible and his nasal voice that cuts through any silence. I hate Eric Cartman, with a passion.

I had finally stood up to him. After all these years of just calling him 'fatass' or being so intimidated I have to eat his farts, I had finally told him the truth. I hope it hurt him, because I had done it for everyone he had ever hurt.

"Hi Ike." I wave as I enter the front door. He was sat at the kitchen table, studying. Although he was only twelve, he was sitting his exams this year too. They say he is a genius, he began to be homeschooled a few years back because he was just too smart for the syllabus. Yet I thought I was clever. I guess it's a genetic thing.

"What are you doing back so early?" He looks pretty irritated as he raises his head from his revision guide, probably because I was about to disturb his studying by watching cartoons.

"I skipped class." I shrug, getting a candy bar out of the kitchen and then throwing myself down on the couch. "So I came home."

"You skipped class?" There was surprise in Ike's voice, it wasn't like me to miss a lesson. "How come?"

"Because I'm sick of being ripped on for everything." I sigh, flicking through channels without even checking what is on. "I'm just sick of school already and I've only just gone back."

"Fall out with Stan?" He guesses and I give him a look. It was so patronising, acting like I was a second grade girl who had fallen out with her friend because she stole her My Little Pony.

"No, actually." I snap. "Stan couldn't care less if I did hate him. He doesn't care about me anymore." I pause, watching Ike's unconvinced expression. "It's mainly Cartman. He just won't shut up. Ever."

"Well you've been putting up with that for the last seventeen years of your life." This was true; I don't think a day had ever gone by when Cartman had not said something to annoy me. Maybe I was just really hormonal at the moment and flip out at every slight thing. Or perhaps I was blaming Cartman because I was actually annoyed at Stan, or jealous, or whatever. I didn't really care anymore. Or pretended I didn't.

"Mmm." I just mumble, sick of this conversation already. See, this is why I never have anyone to talk to. My brother was patronising, my mother over-exaggerated, my dad was always working. The only person I used to be able to talk to was Stan, but now I just feel so distanced from him. I suddenly feel a tear roll down my cheek, which Ike notices before me because he has his arm around my shoulder before I can wipe it away.

"I think you need to talk to him." He tells me and although he can belittle me, I knew he was right.

 **Wendy PoV**

"Dude, where's Kyle?" Kenny asks as we walk out of the school gates.

"I don't know, he walked out of Geology earlier on." Stan tells us. "He had this big fight with Cartman and then they both just left. He has been in a shitty mood all day though. I tried to ask him about that chick he's on it with and he just flipped out at me."

"Chick?" I repeat, staring Stan out.

"Girl. Woman." He corrects himself and I nod, satisfied.

"Well is he alright?" Bebe chimes in, staring down at her phone screen. I was surprised she was even listening, she seemed pretty pre-occupied with whoever she was chatting to.

"I told you, I don't know." Stan shrugs. "He left class and I didn't talk to him after that."

We all walk in silence for a short while, kicking the snow out of our path, until I hear my name being called from behind me.

"Wendy?" I spin around to see Craig beckoning me over, Tweek standing behind him, shaking slightly.

"Hey Craig." I smile, letting go of Stan's hand to greet him. I didn't mind Craig. Much to Bebe and Red's disgust because him and Red had never got on. Bebe just hated anyone who was in Craig's gang, because Clyde was in there. I didn't really hold a grudge against anyone in the year, with the exception of Cartman, but everyone hated him.

"I need to ask you a favour." He cuts to the point, looking distractedly behind me. I follow his gaze to see Stan and Kenny eyeing us up curiously. Bebe looked furious, finally looking up from her phone to give me a death stare. "Um... I wondered whether you would help me with my music composition?"

"Yeah sure." I turn back to face him. "What needs doing?"

"Well we're are supposed to pair up and compose something to raise awareness for cancer." He explains. "Obviously, Token is with Nicole and I don't really want to pair up with Nelly because... You know..." I nod, Nelly and Craig had dated in middle school and I don't think they had spoken since. "So... I know you're very passionate about demolishing the disease and you're the best singer I know."

"Thanks Craig." I beam at him. "Course, I'll help you. I'd love to work on the composition."

"Ok well, I have your number... Because I told Stan we were working on a History project." He looks at the ground and weaves a rock through the snow.

"Yeah, thanks for that." I give a slight laugh and he raises his head to look at me.

"It's Cartman's influence, I apologise." He mutters.

"Wendy?" I hear Bebe yell and I shoot her a glare.

"It's fine Craig, don't worry about it. I have to go." I give him a wave and walk back towards my friends.

"Ok well I'll call you then." Craig calls after me and I turn to give him a warm smile.

"What are you doing associating with Craig Tucker?" Bebe snaps as I reach them. "What would Red say?"

"Oh Bebe, he's alright." I roll my eyes. "At least it wasn't Clyde."

"I don't mind Craig." Stan reassures me. "But why did he say he would call you?"

"Ok can we all just clear up the fact that Craig is gay and has a boyfriend?" I remind them all, directing it at Stan. "He just wants me to work on his music composition with him." I watch as him and Bebe exchange an uneasy look. Kenny didn't seem to care but that's because he was friends with everyone.

"Fine whatever." Bebe mumbles.

"Come on guys, let's go grab some ice cream." Kenny grabs her hand and leads us up the snowy streets of South Park.


	8. Clyde

**Chapter 7:**

 **Stan PoV**

After Kenny and I had finally reached homeroom, it was a relief to be able to sit down. This morning had been hectic; it was my dad's birthday and so we had all been forced to watch him open his presents and then bragging about them. Once I had finally left the house, I had been drenched in water from the new snowfall. It had been falling thick and fast all night and although it still had not stopped, South Park High were armed against all weather conditions, so we never got a day off. That's the disadvantage of living in the mountains... Alongside everything else. Neither Kyle or Cartman had turned up at the bus stop, so after missing the first bus in order to wait for their arrival, their non-existence had resulted in Kenny and I catching the later bus and running into school after it was delayed from the tyres slipping on the ice.

"Where the hell have you been?" Wendy hisses as we take our seats next to her and Bebe. "And where are Kyle and Cartman?"

"Good morning students of South Park High." A voice boomed out. "These are the morning announcements and I am Eric Cartman."

"Of course." Wendy rolls her eyes and our attention is immediately dragged from Cartman's broadcasting when the door opens. Kyle walks in, looking soaked, circles under his eyes and strands of ginger ringlets falling out from under his sodden green hat. He seriously did not look right.

"Kyle, what's up?" I whisper as he sits down next to me. Our teacher did not seem to be phased by our late arrivals, as she was scrolling through her newsfeed on the computer. I suppose that is the effect that the morning announcements have on people.

"I do have something very important to tell you all. So I will whizz through all the boring stuff first." Cartman babbles. "Lunch today will be a selection of salad items. I don't have the time to protest against this, not that the lunch menu would matter to me anyway."

"Dude, since when did the lunch menu not matter to Cartman?" Kenny nudges me and I grin, still side tracked with Kyle, who was sat with his head on the desk next to me.

"Wendy Testaburger will be putting up surveys on the bulletin board at recess today, to get students' opinion on what adjustments to make to the school exercise equipment. Exercise equipment. This is what the stuck up bitch wants to change, when our school is made up of inconsiderate assholes, who could all get sacked or excluded if I was in power?"

"For fucks sake." Wendy too buries her head her hands. I now feel incredibly tall sitting between both her and Kyle.

"However I think that apparently, exercise equipment is going to be a very useful tool for me in the future." He continues and at this point, Kyle raises his head to look inquisitively at the speaker on the wall. "Lastly, the school nurse will be in her office all day today, for anyone who has any health concerns. Please make an appointment with Mr. Kyoto as soon as possible. Well I had better get down to his office then. My health concerns are the worst of all, considering I am going to have a heart attack a year from now."

Oh shit. That was why he was acting so weird. I glance across to Kyle who was frozen in his seat, his head arched upward, eyes focused on the speaker. We all knew Cartman can not take hate, but did he really have to go this far with it?

"Which brings me onto my main announcement, the one you will all care about the most." I look around the room to notice that everyone else is still asleep on their desks, doodling in their books or playing on their phones. It did not seem that anyone really cared about it, except for Kyle. "I was told yesterday, by a brave soul that I have to lose some weight. He announced it in front of the whole class, couldn't tell me in private, couldn't have told me anytime before now. He said some... Very hurtful things. Things I will not broach upon you now. But I want you to know that I am going to change. My personality will still be the same, I am still going to rip on every single one of you, don't worry about that. But in a few months time, you will all be so jealous of my buff physical appearance, Kyle will regret saying any of the things he said. Thank you all and have another great day at South Park High."

The speaker cut out and everyone gave a cheer that it was over, then went back to their usual chatter.

"Kyle?" I try again, prodding him in the arm.

"Why does he always take everything so seriously?" Kyle snaps.

"Well he probably didn't, he's probably just over-emphasising everything as usual." I try to reason with him and he turns his head to look at me.

"No Stan." Kyle says adamantly. "He's trying to get everyone on his side again. He's trying to turn everyone against me, so he can start up his own little South Park High holocaust. You wait, tomorrow he will be sat back on his couch, watching Terrence and Phillip and eating cheesy poofs. You just wait."

As soon as the bell rings, he is gone, virtually running out of the classroom. Everyone has gone silent at his sudden uproar and I exchange a look with Kenny.

"Maybe you should go after him." Kenny suggests, hooking his bag over his shoulder.

"Nah man." I shake my head. "He might murder me or something."

 **Cartman PoV**

I already felt faint. It felt as if my stomach was sinking, it hurt so much, I could hear it craving food. I had only eaten one Snacky Cake today. One fucking Snacky Cake and now it was lunchtime. Although today they were only serving items from the salad bar, I was desperate to eat anything that could line my stomach. I felt physically sick, but I don't think I had anything to be sick with.

My mom knew something was up; she made me chicken pot pie last night and put it on the table right in front of me. She was torturing me. I could smell it, virtually taste it but I couldn't eat it. I forced myself to look away and ran up to my bedroom, where I cried myself to sleep. I woke up so dizzy this morning I knew I had to eat something, otherwise I would not be able to function in order to read the morning announcements. So I found a snacky cake box at the back of the cupboard and ate the remaining one. It didn't even taste nice. Every bite I took I heard Kyle's words taunting me. It tasted bitter, it reminded me of how I was fat and everyone knew it. My mouth dried up with self-loathing so I had to wash it down with a cup of water, else it would have stuck in my throat.

I was not going to be weak again though. I knew if I walked into that lunch hall, I would give into the temptation. The candy bars in the vending machines, even the grilled chicken salad. So here I was, stood over the toilet bowl, throwing my lunch token down it and flushing the chain. It was the only way I could be like everyone else. I had to be strong. I had to starve myself.

 **Bebe PoV**

I was not eating lunch with my usual group today. Stan and Kenny had football practice so every Thursday Wendy and I ate with the girls. It was always nice to catch up with them, but they did do my head in occasionally. This was probably because they were always fangirling over guys, either celebrities or the remaining ones in the school who were not taken. This subject was never particularly interesting for those who have boyfriends; me, Wendy, Nicole and Lola, who was dating Bridon Gueermo in the year below. My preferred topic, was bitching about the girls I didn't like. We often talked about the other group of girls in our year group, who were less popular than us, made up of Tammy and her best friend Emily, who were basically the leaders of their group. Other members include Riley, Lizzy, Beth, Kelly, Jessie and Kal. Personally I thought Emily was quite nice, but the rest of them were all pathetic and the kind of girls to date Kevin Stoley, Pete Melman, Scott Malkinson or Timmy Burch, all of which were labelled as the 'nerd' group at South Park High, who endured Doctor Who marathons or swapped comics at the lunch table. Emily had dated Jimmy at one point and they had slept together once. Apart from that, I was pretty certain the rest of the girls in her group were virgins, but a lot of people keep it quiet.

Today however, I was not intent on bitching about Emily's group. Instead, I wanted to turn everyone against Annie, who rumour has it had sex with Clyde in the summer. I was assuming this was true as Annie and Milly were sat alone at a table further over the left, when usually they would be eating with us.

"I'm thinking of kicking Annie off the cheerleading squad." I say out loud and all the girls stop twirling their hair and applying lipstick to stare at me.

"What? Why?" Heidi pipes up first, raising her head from her pocket mirror.

"She just can't keep up." I shrug, making it extremely obvious why. I don't think there was a person in the school who hadn't heard the rumours about Annie and Clyde.

Jenny brushes her hair a few times and then opens her mouth. "Look, if this is because of the Clyde thing-"

"Esther, you are friends with Annie." I snap, turning to her. She was lucky she was even still in our group and the cheerleading squad after we found out she was Kevin's cousin last year.

"Well..." Esther stutters and everyone looks at her intently. "Yeah it's true."

What a bitch.

"Bebe, who hasn't slept with Clyde, let's be honest." Wendy puts her hand on my shoulder. Wendy. Wendy hadn't slept with Clyde, because she had been with Stan forever. In all honesty only Red, Heidi and I have had sex with Clyde, but that is because they had my consent. Mandy, a girl who also used to be a cheerleader kissed Clyde by the lockers last year. Let's just say that she no longer attends this school.

"You." I point out and she takes her hand off my shoulder. "Which is why you are my best friend."

"Bebe..." Red sighs. "You're dating Kenny now and... Clyde's not really yours to own anymore... Now you've broken up."

I can see all the girls are waiting for me to crack after that remark. To clear things up, Clyde and I had a four month long relationship in 8th grade. For me, that is a damn long time because I don't last long in relationships. People wonder why I am with Kenny; I'm normally a one night stand kind of girl, but that is because of much deeper reasons. I understand him and he understands me. He knows about the abuse I suffered and I know about his immortality. He is the one person I can ever properly talk to, the only other person who knows about the abuse is Wendy, but she doesn't have the same perspective as Kenny. Life is all sparkles and sunshine in her family. Clyde was the first person I trusted intimately after it all happened in 7th grade and then he threw it all back in my face. That's why no one understood why I was so protective over him. I wasn't protective of him, I was protecting them.

I snap back to reality after about a minute of them waiting for me to flip out at Red. But instead I just smile at her. "Yeah, I know." I whisper and everyone breathes a sigh of relief. "Don't worry, I won't kick Annie off the squad."

I was too tired to argue with anyone right now, going over my past had brought it all back. Blaming my friends was never the answer.


	9. Rejection and Relapse

**Chapter 8:**

 _ **Trigger Warning: This chapter contains drug use and references which some readers may find disturbing.**_

 **Kenny PoV**

"Do you want to come back to mine?" Bebe asks me as she swings my hand through the air.

"Well obviously I would prefer that to going back to the dump." I ponder. "But I don't want to leave Karen."

"Bring her along." She suggests, Bebe was actually very good with Karen. I think my sister looked up to her as a mother or older sibling figure as mom had never really had time for us.

"Yeah ok." I can imagine Karen's face when I tell her that we won't be having cream corn for tea. "Tell you what. I'll go home, get changed and wait for Karen to get back from school and then I will bring her over."

"Ok awesome." She beams and I kiss her on the lips as she reaches her house. I watch as she glides down the garden path and shuts the front door behind her. I swear I live in two completely transverse worlds. School was heaven; a place where I was one of the most popular kids in the year, my girlfriend was head cheerleader and life seemed like a fairytale. At home, it was hell, with no central heating, cold water, hardly any food, unemployed and lazy parents alongside the fact that I was virtually bringing up my younger sibling.

I take a deep breath as I reach my garden path, bits of old garbage scattered out the front. It was on the corner of town so no one had to see what a mess it is. The roof was falling in, the paint was chipped and the whole yard stank of weed.

"I'm home." I call as I open the front door. I did not know whether anyone would be in, the door was always left unlocked, there was nothing for anyone to steal. It was rusted anyway; I doubt a key would work in there. "Mom, if you're here, I am taking Karen to Bebe's for tea."

No response, she was probably down the bar or out selling her body for some extra cash. I head up towards my room to get changed, when I am stopped outside the bathroom.

"Mom?" I notice her lying flat out on the floor, saliva dribbling from her partially open mouth. Overdose, again. I kick her head lightly and then bend over to shake her a few times. This had happened three times in the last six months. I whipped out my cell and dialled the number I was so used to calling.

"911, what's your emergency?" The receiver picked up almost immediately.

"Hi yeah, my name is Kenny McCormick... You probably know me." I drone. "I've just got home and found my mom. She has had another drug overdose."

"Ok, do you know what substance she could have been taking?" The woman asks calmly.

"I am going to assume heroin." I reply shortly, finding a syringe under her left leg. "There is no substance left in the syringe but this was the cause the last two times it happened. She takes cocaine and speed regularly but never ends up like this."

"Ok, we have tracked your address back to the house on the outskirts of South Park that has no number." She recites, as if mocking me. Man I hated my parents so much. "Is that correct?"

"Yeah." I mutter.

"Ok, an ambulance is on its way." She assures me. "Would you like me to stay on the line?"

"No that's ok." I tell her. "Thank you."

I hang up, sliding my cell phone back down into my pocket and begin shaking my mother's shoulders harder.

"Carol?" I yell in her ear, it was a more likely way of getting her to come round. "Carol wake up."

Nothing. Great, this was all I needed. I pulled my cell out again and dialled dad's number. I got a lump in my throat as it began to ring, mom I could deal with but he scared the shit out of me sometimes depending what mood he was in.

"Yeah?" I hear my dad's slurred tone on the other end of the line.

"Dad, it's Kenny." I answer. "Mom has had another relapse."

"Oh for fucks sake." I hear him yell. Yep, he was drunk, as usual. "That stupid bitch, why has she gone and done that again?"

"Probably because she is stuck here all day slumming it whilst you are down the pub." I snap and it goes silent for a second.

"Shut up Kenny you little bastard." He spits down the phone. "Have you called 911."

"Yes, as per." I mumble. "Look do you want to be here when the ambulance arrives or not?"

"Nah." I hear him bang his fist on the table for another shot. "It's your stupid mothers fault, I'm not getting involved."

"Fine." I retort, he made me so angry. "I'll take care of the paramedics, mom and Karen then."

I hang up on him, fuming at his uncaring attitude. Why did I have to end up like this?

 **Kyle PoV**

Right. Screw homework, I had more important things to sort tonight. I had to find myself a girl who was willing to go out with my Saturday night. I was not going to be left out again.

I had downloaded a series of dating apps and was scanning my Facebook for available chicks near me. Obviously they would have to live outside of South Park, as we were a very small community and it would be incredibly hard to find anyone who my friends had not met. They also had to live within a five mile radius. I still could not drive unlike Stan, Kenny and Bebe and so would either have to walk or get my mom to pick her up, which would be extremely embarrassing.

Searching for the name Cady was not going to work. It was not a very common name and the only people who came up lived a few states over or were middle aged women. Cady. Why did I have to say Cady? Why couldn't I have said Amy or Sophie or Chloe? It would have made life so much simpler.

This meant I had two options; to tell the non-existent girlfriend about my plan and get her to call herself Cady for the evening. Or I could pretend I said the wrong name at the lunch table. Either way it was going to make the situation harder and a lot less believable.

I sent friend requests to all the girls who were appropriate. My standards were not very high, looks did not matter at this point in time as long as they lived close, were aged between sixteen to eighteen and had a vagina.

As soon as a notification came through saying someone called Lily Gyre had accepted me. I got straight to talking to her.

"Ok, be cool Kyle." I mutter to myself, opening up a chat and drumming out a greeting on the keyboard. _'Hiya, you ok?'_. I sent it before I could change my mind and then went on to stalking her profile. She was actually quite pretty, with fair hair and freckles, she did not wear much make-up but she didn't really need it. Suddenly a message pinged through. Oh my God, a girl was talking to me. How come I had never tried this before? ' _Hi, do I know you?'._ The message read. Well this awkward, I didn't really know how to phrase this reply. Should I tell her the truth or make something up.

Truth. Truth. My head was repeating. What did I have to lose? _'No sorry, I just came across your profile and wondered whether you would do me a favour?_ '. I type out and read it over a few times. I pause before sending it, that was ok, not jumping straight to the point. I was making a proposition first. _'I'm not sending you nudes'_. She replied, bluntly. Shit. _'No! I don't want nudes, don't worry, I just wondered if you want to come on a date with me Saturday night? I told my friends I was bringing a girl along and so I am looking for someone who is up for it'_. I didn't even read it over, I was too flustered with the previous response. But that was probably a bad move because she blocked me five minutes later.

For fucks sake. She seemed perfect as well, except for the bitchy attitude. Right, I clicked on my notifications to open the profile of another girl who had accepted me. Her name was Laura and she appeared to be an Emo chick. She had black shoulder length hair and winged black eyeliner. Pretty. She seemed like a safe bet.

 _'Hi, how are you?'_ I press enter and watch the message appear on the screen. Ok she had read it. I waited for her to reply... Waiting, waiting. I drum my fingers on my desk, my eyes glued to the screen. Maybe I should go ahead and water my crops while I was waiting. She was probably just replying with a long response, maybe spell checking it over to make sure she acts cool in front of me. Man this was a long reply...

 _'Hi, good'_. The message flashed up on the screen and I blinked at it several times. Well she hadn't really left me much to work with here. She clearly wasn't the conversation holding type of girl. I decided to jump straight to the point. _'How do you fancy getting some dinner Saturday night?'_ I send before I can doubt myself. I wait another couple of minutes for her to reply again. _'I'm busy'_. Ok. This was going pretty well, at least she wasn't making assumptions like Lily did. _'Oh cool, doing what?'_ Maybe if I tried to continue the conversation, she would come round. _'Fucking your mom.'_

Or not. I was going to take that as a no...

This was completely hopeless. No one I find online is going to want to come on a date with a complete stranger. Plus the fact it is me, they will see me, meet my parents and run a mile before we even get to Shakey's. I was just going to have to cancel and tell Stan that me and Cady have broken it off or something. Yeah, that would be easy.

"Kyle?" My moms voice shrieks up the stairs. "Come and meet your cousin Sian!"

What? Cousin Sian was here now? Ugh, I really was not in the mood for meeting long lost relatives right now. But I traipsed down the stairs all the same.

"Hi Kyle." I hear a bright voice and look up to meet the blue eyes of my so called 'cousin Sian'. No way was she my cousin, because she was too beautiful to have any of the genes in my family. Her hair was a light blonde, swept back in a ponytail. She was skinny, wearing denim shorts around her waist and a crop top to show off her body. Wow ok, this was bad, I was checking out my cousin.

"Hi..." I mumble and my mom gives me a sharp look. A thought suddenly hits me and I look her up and down again.

I couldn't? No, that would be disgusting... But we wouldn't... I can't believe I was even considering this.

 **Bebe PoV**

I was regretting inviting Karen over because my mom was out at Yoga tonight and so Kenny and I would have had the house to ourselves. I did really like Karen though, I am sure I can find something a lot more wholesome to do with the three of us.

My cell begins to vibrate and I pull it out of my hand bag to see Kenny's name flash up on the screen. This would be him ringing to tell me he has just left the house. He always did that, as if I had stuff I needed to hide before he got here.

"Yep, I'm ready Ken." I laugh as I answer the call.

"Bebe?" I hear his voice pick up, but it did not sound cheery like it had earlier on. "I need you to get Karen and drive her to Hells Pass."

"What? Why?" I stammer, knowing something was suddenly up. "Is everything ok?"

"Yeah, it's fine." Kenny reassures me. "My mom has just had another overdose and the paramedics are here now. Karen still hasn't arrived home so I have called her and told her to go to your house instead. Can you drive to the hospital once she gets there?"

"Oh shit, yeah sure." I fluster, packing a few things into my bag. I sounded more panicked than Kenny, who seemed weirdly calm about the situation. "Um... Is your mom gonna be ok?"

"She always is." He confirms, as if it was the daily school run. "It's a relapse, she has probably just done it to get the free hospital food and a warm bed for a few nights."

"Oh..." I mutter, why was he so bitter about the whole thing? "Ok well I'll meet you at the hospital in a bit then, good luck."

"Thanks babe." He says. "Love you."

"Love you too." I tell him and then hang up. What was I supposed to tell Karen now? I had done this twice before but Kenny had been with me then, when Carol had her last overdose and when Stuart, their dad, went in with alcohol poisoning. It must be really tough for them both, I couldn't even imagine. Well I could, my dad used to get drunk all the time and trust me, the consequences were not nice. I wince at the memories, shutting him out of my head. I had more important things to focus on right now.


	10. Promising A Lie

**Chapter 9:**

 ** _Author Note: For future reference, I am awful at math. So if none of this makes sense, roll with it!;)_**

 **Wendy PoV**

"So then if you move the 'x' to the other side of the equation, minus the two you took earlier on, it equals out to 4x." I explain to Stan for the second time. "You got that?"

"…Not really." He frowns, moving his finger over the paper. I can see the rusty cogs in his brain slowly trying to move amongst all the other 'more important' thoughts such as football, sex, video games and pizza. The extent of a teenage boy's mind. I had been with Stan long enough to understand that better than he did.

"Stan!" I whine. "How is it so hard to understand, it's a basic equation! This is ninth grade stuff."

"I just don't understand how the 'y' is now a positive when it was a negative before." He groans.

"Because we reversed the symbols." I empathise, I should be a teacher. "That's the whole point of this method. You change the addition to a subtraction, reverse the letters and then it becomes a positive. Then you can work with the positive numbers to solve the equation, which makes it simpler."

"It doesn't seem very simple." He mutters, throwing his pencil down on the desk. "I suck at math."

"I know you do." I laugh and he rolls his eyes before his face cracks into a smile. It was true, Stan did suck at math. He sucked at quite a few academic subjects actually but was ace at sport. The only sport anyone was better than him in was basketball, which was Kyle's forte. Unless you are including Bridon Gueermo from the year below, who was absolutely amazing at it. I was given the gift of being talented in both academic subjects and physical education, as well as public speaking, which was unfortunate as it resulted in me having to tutor my boyfriend whenever he got stuck on his homework.

"Dinner's ready kids." Sharon calls up the stairs. Finally, an excuse to stop staring at the same question we were on half an hour ago.

"You know, I don't think I am going to bother with this." Stan stands up and I follow him downstairs. "I'll just tell Mr Lambert that I found it too tough."

"Newsflash, Stan didn't do his homework." I nudge him playfully as we sit down at the dinner table. "But you do have to do an exam in this subject Stan."

"Have you not done your homework again Stanley?" Sharon inquires as she dishes up our plates with chicken, buttered noodles and peas.

"Well I am going to get a football scholarship anyway, so my math exam won't matter." He shrugs and receives his meal along with a glare off his mother.

"Confident." I joke, pointing the fork at him before tucking in to the food.

"Ugh, football." Randy groans with his mouth full. "I always dreamed you would come and work with me, you know, at the office. It'd be like a father and son business."

Stan almost chokes on his laughter and I have to put my hand in front of my face to hide a smile. "Work with you?" He chortles. "What so I can drink coffee all day and only be used for work when a resident combusts into thin air?"

"Stanley!" Sharon scolds him. "Your dad works very hard at his job, apologise now."

"Yeah turd." Shelly pipes up. "Apologise."

"Oh yes sorry Shelly, I forgot about your well paid job you have considering you still live with your parents at the age of twenty." Stan mocks, I was used to these arguments they had at the dinner table. Stan was not afraid of Shelly now he was a foot taller than her, so she could no longer beat him up.

"Stan, chill." I soothe, noticing the angry expressions on everyone's faces. "What's got into you?"

"I'm just annoyed that I can never do anything, that's all." He stresses, slamming his cutlery down onto his plate.

"Well maybe you should listen to your girlfriend." Sharon suggests as I feel my phone vibrate. "Perfect role model right there."

"Ugh, why don't you adopt her as your daughter instead then?" He snaps.

"That would be slightly incestuous Stan." Randy grimaces.

"Why does my life suck so much?" Stan whines and I look up at him.

"I wouldn't speak too soon Stan." I warn him, holding up my cell phone. "Bebe texted; Kenny's mom has gone back into hospital."

 **Cartman PoV**

Walking to Kyle's house was probably a bad idea because I was pretty certain I was going to faint any second now. But I had to talk to him, plus I needed the exercise and it allowed me to avoid the hamburgers mom was making for tea. I could just hang around in an alley for a bit and tell her that I had eaten at Kyle's. I break into a jog again when I had caught my breath back, but get tired after about half a minute. This was useless. I was useless; I was a fat lump who couldn't even run for an adequate length of time. Why did my mother have to bring me up like this? I was an embarrassment to myself, to her, to all of South Park.

I knock on Kyle's door weakly before I regret the journey. I am still panting and keeling over, my arm propping myself up by clinging onto the side of the door frame. The door flies open suddenly and I raise my head to see not Kyle, but instead a blonde chick who was insanely beautiful. I pause for a second, double checking the house number. She scans me up and down, waiting for me to respond.

"Kyle, there's a fat kid on the doorstep." She suddenly yells, in a thick Eastern accent. "…He kinda looks like he's dying."

"Ay!" I yell at her, she might be pretty, but she was very rude. Kyle appears behind her and she walks off, giving me a look before leaving.

"Wow Cartman." Kyle begins to laugh at me. "What did you do, run here?"

"Yes." I reply bluntly and he looks taken aback. "Who was that?"

"My um…" He hesitates. "My cousin. Sian."

"She is your cousin?" I inquire, beyond disbelief.

"Yes."

"So you're related?"

"Yes."

"Like, seriously?"

"Yes." Kyle snaps. "What do you want Cartman?"

"Wow…" I chuckle and then remember the reason I am here. "I came to say thank you."

"…What?" Kyle frowns, those words didn't often come out of my mouth.

"Thank you for telling me the truth. You have shown me the way, demonstrated how I am viewed by all society." I recite and his face becomes even more confused. "You were right and I'm going to change."

There was a long silence, this was longer than when Kyle had said something similar to me, on my doorstep after watching 'The Passion of a Jew' back in fourth grade.

"…But, I insulted you." He finally says.

"I know." I nod. "Thank you."

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Kyle yells. "Why aren't you beating me up?"

"…Because I don't want to beat you up Kyle." I tell him and he reaches out his hand to feel my forehead.

"You have a fever." He concludes and I glare at him.

"No, I don't Kyle." I shout, annoyed. Why did everyone always assume I was an uncaring, fat, racist, sadistic, sexist child? That was only my part time job. "I told you, I ran here. That is why I am all hot and sweaty."

"You're really serious about this, aren't you?" He stares at me and I nod. "You don't have to do this Cartman, you're fine the way you are. I just got agitated and lashed out, that's all."

"No Kyle." I silence him. "You were right, I told you. I am doing this for myself, to show myself that I can be strong."

"Well, don't do anything stupid." Kyle whispers, as if he actually cared for once. "Promise?"

I cross my fingers behind my back and look him straight in the eye. "Promise."


	11. A Math Murder

**Chapter 10:**

 **Stan PoV**

I was trying to walk as slowly as possible to my math classroom, but when you are holding hands with a straight-A student who usually gets to her classes ten minutes early, it is tough. Of course, she was not in my class, she was in the set next door with Kyle, also known as the smart people's classroom. Bebe was in the middle set with the majority of her cheerleader friends and I was in the lower set with Kenny and unfortunately Cartman. Kenny was actually pretty good at math, but because he was poor, they seem to automatically stick him in the lower sets. Stereotypical, but I wasn't complaining. It was the same for Edward Petuski (more commonly known by his nickname DogPoo) and Douglas, I didn't know _why_ he was poor, but he clearly was. He had not been in homeroom however today, which I was sure was a result of his mom being back in hospital. Without sounding completely selfish, this was irritating as it meant I would have to spend my lesson with Cartman, as I rarely spoke to the rest of the people in our set; Tammy and a few of the dumb girls out of her group, Timmy, Clyde, who never turned up, and two of the Raisins girls who had been kicked out of their jobs once the business had been taken over by more mature staff. There were some other boys in the class who were generally loners and rarely co-operated with Mr Lambert.

"Right okay, I'll see you later." Wendy kisses me quickly on the cheek. "Unless you get murdered about the homework issue."

She is gone before I can say anything back. "Ok, cool, that's fine." I mutter as I watch her skip off into her classroom and starts talking excitedly to Craig. Why was Craig even in top set math? He was in bottom set English because he could only use one tone of voice. I decide to stop being so bitter and enter my classroom, sitting myself down next to Cartman, with an empty seat the other side which would usually be Kenny's. Clyde was also missing from next to Cartman, but that was nothing new, so we were sat alone on the back row of the classroom. Great.

"Hi Cartman." I unpack my things, he was staring off into space. "Nice choice of… music to overlay the announcements this morning."

"Oh you liked it?" He suddenly perks up at the sound of my sarcastic expression. "Yeah it is death metal Friday."

"Right…" I mutter. I was not about to get into a conversation with him about why. "It's also chip Friday." I nudge him and see a flicker of hurt flash across his face. That was weird, lunch was Cartman's favourite part of Friday's, alongside the KFC his mom buys him for dinner. Basically anything food based…

"Can't wait…" He mumbles, sarcastically.

"You're not still doing this healthy eating thing are you?" I say as the thought pops into my head.

"Yes. I'm on a very strict diet." He informs me and I raise my eyebrows as his stomach rumbles.

"Really?" I begin to laugh. "I made a bet with Token. He said you wouldn't last a day, we put ten dollars on it. I thought I'd lose that for sure."

"Wow, thanks for your motivation Stan." Cartman says, sarcastically.

"Ok class, sit down and shut up." Mr Lambert bellows as he enters the classroom. Directing his words at Portia, a Raisins girl who was sat on the desk with her feet in her friend Lexus' lap. As she proceeds to sit down after rolling her eyes, Terrance Mephesto throws a paper aeroplane at DogPoo's head and receives a withered glare in return.

"How did we get here Cartman?" I sigh, putting my head in my hands. It only took Kenny being absent to make me realise what it feels like to be hanging out with the rejects. The only people in this room who were even slightly popular, were Portia and Lexus, who hung out with a few other Raisins girls outside at recess, smoking and giving blow jobs to the junior's for cheap cash.

"Register." Lambert calls out, sitting down at his computer. "When I say your name say yes or no for if you are here and another yes or no for if you have done your homework." Oh shit, he did remember then. "Eric Cartman."

"No, yes." He holds up his homework and everyone laughs at his wit.

"Dude, _you_ did your homework?" I begin to panic, looking at his ink stained sheet of equations.

"Marsh, shut it." Lambert snaps and I slide down my chair. "Lexus Clark?"

"Yeah, yeah." She drones.

"Clyde Donovan?" There is silence and he scans the room for any unlikely sign of Clyde. "Douglas Hemmings?"

"Yes, yes." He speaks up.

"Portia Indigo?" Oh crap, it was getting closer to me. I watch as both Portia and Kal hold up their sheets of homework after their names are called.

"Stan Marsh?" He says my name bitterly, as if it is a sour sweet.

"…No." I murmur.

"No you're not here or no you haven't done your homework?" Well what did he think? Was he just trying to rub it in?

"I wish I wasn't here." I mutter.

"What was that?" He shouts.

"No I have not done my homework." I admit and everyone stares at me.

"You're in shit Stan." Cartman hisses.

"Why?" Lambert questions.

"Well I tried to do it, I got Wendy to help me, but it's too hard." I tell him and he rolls his eyes.

"Detention, tonight." He confirms. "Terrance Mephesto?"

"I can't do detention tonight, I have a football match." I pipe up, bravely and I hear Cartman sniggering under his breath next to me.

"I don't care about football Stanley." He spits. "Tell you what, you can stay here until you have done the homework, that way you will be here all night."

"Well can't I do it over lunch instead?" I try to negotiate but he shoots me a death stare.

"Principal's office, now." He yells. What? I had to go to the principal for that? I decide it is probably not best to question him further and so I rise from my seat slowly and do the walk of shame until I am out of the door. Why was I being punished for being dumb? I had _tried_ to do the homework, hadn't I? I hated Mr Lambert. I hated him with a passion.

"Hi Stan." I hear Kenny's voice and look up angrily. "What are you doing? We're supposed to be in math."

"I got sent to the principal's office for not doing my homework." I growl.

"Well I didn't do my homework." Kenny shrugs. "Am I going to get kicked out too?"

"Nah, you have an excuse." I tell him and then mentally slap myself. "…Which I am deeply sorry about by the way."

"It's cool. I'm used to it." He says cheerily. He was Mr Lambert's favourite student, no way would he be sent to the principal's office. "I'd better go, good luck."

"Thanks man, see you later." I smile and fist bump him before we pass each other. Wendy was going to be so disappointed in me. I knew she was secretly angry at me this morning because she had told me to finish the homework after she left last night. Of course, I hadn't, but I had been forced to put the shelves up in Shelley's room and then take the dog for a walk. By the time I was home the game was on TV and then I had to have a shower… Ok, so it sounds lame, but I did need some time to chill out. Everyone was just jumping at my throat all the time, I guess I didn't anticipate senior year to bring this much pressure. I reach Principal Victoria's office and knock on the door reluctantly. It was not the same principal from Elementary school, but it was her daughter.

"Yes?" I hear her voice from inside and could tell she was already in a bad mood.

"Mr Lambert told me to come and see you because I didn't do my homework." I mumble as I enter the room.

"Just for that reason?" She looks up from her paper work, circles under her eyes.

"Well… I also said I couldn't do detention because I have a match after school. But it's really unfair, I told him that and then he said ' _well then you can do the whole sheet of homework, then you will be here all night'_." I imitate. "So I tried to ask if I could do it at lunch instead but he just sent me here. He doesn't understand how important this match is to me. I have to go, I am the star quarterback, and they need me. I'll go and get back up from coach right now."

"Stan, calm down." She orders as I begin to leave, flustered after my long speech. "You can go to the match."

"What?" My face breaks into a relieved smile. "Really?"

"Yes." She nods and points to the chair. I hesitate before sitting down on it, I was in no rush to get back to class. "But I am concerned about your grades Stan. They have been declining since sophomore year. You used to be very bright in Elementary school, top of the class my mother says."

"That's not true, Kyle and Wendy were top of the class." I defend myself and a thought crosses my mind. "Wait, you all talk about me?"

"We talk about all the students." She chuckles, eating a chocolate out of a nearby box and offering me one. "I think you have a lot of potential, I really do. But I think you let things get on top of you easily; football, Wendy, your friends. I don't think I am allowed to pass these judgements but it is clear you are a member of the 'in crowd'. All of that is impacting on your studies somewhere."

I take a second to process this. I was actually a little bit freaked out at how much she knew about my life. I had been in here many times over my high school years but it was like she was a councillor not a principal. "Well, those are the things that matter most to me." I say quietly. "You know, when I am playing football or hanging out with my friends or girlfriend, I feel happy. There is so much pressure put on me in lessons and at home, it drains me. All I want to do is get a football scholarship. I don't see why I need to learn about 'sedimentary rocks' or work out 'x minus y'. I don't need that. I hate it."

"That's how a lot of people feel." She empathises. "But at the end of the day Stan, this is what you have been working your whole life for. You're so close to the end and yes, I know there is a likely possibility of you getting a scholarship, you have the talent for it. But you can never be sure, it's not a very safe profession to be in and you always need something to fall back on. Just in case."

"Mmm." I mumble and look up. I officially had new found respect for her now.

"So you'll try your best?" She prompts and I nod. "Promise?"

I cross my fingers behind my back and look her straight in the eye. "Promise."


	12. No-meo and Juliet

**Chapter 11:**

 **Kenny PoV**

"Ok, that's fine." I ramble on to the woman on the phone. "Thanks again, bye."

"Good news?" Wendy asks me as I put my phone down on the lunch table.

"She's awake." I give a slight smile. "Sat up eating a hot meal. She'll try and beg as many of them as possible. Hospitals are like five star hotels to her."

"Well hey, at least she is ok." Kyle says, who is sat next to Wendy. Stan was nowhere to be seen, I was wondering whether he might have been sent home after the incident earlier. I daren't tell Wendy because I knew she would freak out, so I just said he was probably having a word with coach.

"Have you heard from your dad?" Bebe squeezes my hand.

"Do I ever?" I laugh weakly. "I don't think he has been home all week, I have no idea where he is sleeping; in the street for all I care. Kevin fucked off too last night, went to stay at some mates or something so it was just Karen and I at home. She kept crying and had to come into my bed, that's the worst part of it all, having to tell her it's ok. Even if I don't give a shit about my parents, I know she still does deep down. She is too young to understand I suppose." There is a long silence and I realise I have destroyed any happiness there was at this table. "…Sorry."

"No, don't be." Kyle soothes. "It sounds horrible."

I just shoot him a smile rather than making another speech and I am about to start eating my pizza and fries when Stan enters, looking worn out. I notice the group from Douglas' table look up as he walks past them.

"Where the hell have you been?" Wendy's pitch increases instantly.

"Math." Stan holds up a sheet of equations.

"…Math was four hours ago." She shrieks, Bebe and I exchange a look, people may call her a bitch but at least she didn't make a scene when I turn up somewhere five minutes late.

"I know." Stan sits himself down next to Kyle, who is now wedged between the two. "I was in the principal's office and then had to do my math in the free period."

"Oh for God's sake Stan!" She cries and Kyle winces at the sound. "What, just because you didn't do your homework? Did you tell him you attempted it? You didn't dig yourself a hole did you?"

"I'm just gonna-" Kyle starts to get up before he is pulled back down by Stan.

"No, you stay right there dude." He warns, using him as a human shield. "Yes I did tell him I attempted it but he didn't listen. He gave me detention after school-"

"What _and_ made you do it in your free period _and_ see the principal?" Wendy screams round Kyle, who buries his head in his hands.

"If you'd let me finish…" Stan groans. "I told him I couldn't go to detention because I had football after school. So he told me he didn't care and I wasn't putting up with that. That is why I had to go to the principal's office and then I had to catch up on the work I missed in my free period. Which took me two hours, because it's me."

"Oh for fucks sake, bloody football." Wendy rolls her eyes and I laugh as Kyle imitates her. Which was a bad idea, because she turned on me next. "Kenny, you were in his class, what really happened?"

"Well, I was late." I cough, not wanting to be dragged into this domestic. "But it sounds pretty on point to me."

"I told you to finish that homework and now look what has happened!" She continues as if I never said anything.

"Yes well everything is sorted and ok now so can we just drop it?" Stan yells.

"This is your education Stan, not mine." She finalises and he stands up.

"I know!" He shouts, the whole canteen had fallen silent a few minutes ago. "Don't you think I know that? It's what everyone keeps telling me!"

"Where are you going?" She questions, also standing up.

"Somewhere to eat my lunch in peace." He tells her and begins to leave before turning on his heel. "But you had better still be coming to the football match tonight."

"Oh don't worry, I will!" Wendy screams. "To make sure you don't ask the football to prom instead of me!"

Stan leaves after giving her the finger and she slams herself back down on to the bench. I notice Bebe trying hard not to laugh and I bite my lip to stop myself. Kyle slides down the bench away from Wendy as discreetly as possible. Everyone is still in complete silence and staring at our table. I shoot everyone an uneasy smile and Kyle coughs a few times to try and get the chatter going again.

"…Well this is fucking awkward." I conclude.

 **Kyle PoV**

"Hi mom!" I call as I enter the house.

"Hi my little sugar puff." Sian imitates my mother, slamming the fridge door with a grin on her face. I take a step back when I see she is wearing nothing but a towel. This was not good, I should not have a crush on my cousin. I shoot her an awkward smile and help myself to a packet of cheesy poofs. "Good day at school?" She asks, sitting down at the table, opening a bottle of water. Don't drink the water. Don't drink the water. Yep, she's drinking the water and it makes her look super-hot. Snap out of it Kyle.

"Yeah…" I mutter my eyes fixed on her pale pink lips. I shake my head and turn my back to her, pretending I am searching for something. I had to ask her, I had to ask her now, else I would never get the chance. "So, Sian…" I say casually, the name rolling off my tongue. "I have an issue… Which you may be able to help me with."

"Hey, look, if it is erectile dysfunction, it happens to lots of people." She explains. "My old boyfriend had it… _after_ he slept with me so it wasn't as big a deal… I think I sort of broke it actually-"

"Ok, well it's not that." I interrupt and she turns her head to look at me. "It's um… It's a bit weird… Because you're my cousin and everything but I was thinking… Would you be able to come to dinner with me… Tomorrow night?"

"What like a date?" She frowns, looking quite scared.

"No! No." I yell. "Not a date… I mean yeah well it's kind of a date but we are just pretending it is."

"Ok, you've lost me." She looks confused.

"Basically." I take a deep breath and slow myself down. "My friends are all going out for this 'couples night' thing at Shakey's tomorrow and I always get left out of this kind of thing. So I told them I would bring my girlfriend along… Only problem is, I don't have one. I have tried, honestly but no one seems to want to come with me. I know it's extremely weird and creepy and you can say no if you like but this is my last resort."

"…Will you buy my food?" She questions.

"Yes." I confirm.

"And there will be no physical contact?"

"No physical contact, what-so-ever." I reassure her and she ponders it for a while.

"Sure, I'm game." She smiles and a wave of relief washes over me. "But you really are odd, you know that?"

"Yes I do." I mutter as she leaves and then call after her. "Thank you!"

 **Wendy PoV**

"I mean, I tried to help him, but he just didn't seem bothered." I explain to Bebe as we walk under the bleachers. I scan the pitch for any sign of Stan but there is just a referee standing around. I really wasn't in the mood for having to cheer with the squad right now but I knew if I pulled out, Bebe would murder me. We were just opening it anyway, then we could chill out for the rest of the match… or try to. "I'm not going to lie, he did try to work it out, and I could see he was thinking about it. But he seems so pre-occupied with everything else. I don't know, do you think I over-reacted?"

"Maybe a little." Bebe drones and I see the boredom in her face as we take our seats on the front row. "Where is Lola? I asked her to get here early."

"I thought she was with Red in the hallway." I reply. "She was mouthing off at Bridon again, remember?"

"No." She shrugs. "Maybe I was too wrapped up in the _interesting_ conversation we were having."

I give her a glare as Lola enters, followed by Red and Jenny. "I swear to God, guys are just put on the Earth to piss us off." She yells, sitting down next to me.

"Oh good…" I hear Bebe mutter.

"Tell me about it." I agree, ignoring my best friend's sarcasm. "Do Stan and Bridon want to share a doghouse?"

"Yes please." She laughs and rests her head on my shoulder.

"Do we need to run over the routine again?" Bebe stresses, standing up and straightening out her skirt. "We haven't practiced it since last semester."

"Yeah and we did it all last semester..." I point out. "I think it is drummed in our heads forever."

"Fine, but if you mess it up Wendy…" She snaps.

"Why me?" I ask, defensively. "What is up with you tonight, Bebe?"

"I'm just stressed about it, that's all." She huffs and goes over to greet Esther, Annie and Milly. Bebe was like Stan; her life revolved around one certain thing which she was adamant she wanted to do for the rest of her life. Like Stan's football obsession, cheerleading was her ultimate passion. She literally took her role as head cheerleader to mean she was the queen of the school. This consequently, was not a positive for me, as it meant that both my best friend and my boyfriend were obsessed with sport.

"What routine are we doing?" Jenny frets as she runs over to us, tying her hair up as she does so. "I don't want to ask Bebe because she will yell at me."

"Apparently the one we did last semester." Lola tells her.

"...The one with Annie's somersault?" She questions and I nod. "I'm gonna mess this up so bad."

"Where the hell is Heidi?" Bebe yells, coming back over to us and dragging Esther and Milly with her. We all just shrug as the football team begin to line up on the pitch. "We're about to start."

"She's in the changing room." Jenny tells her. "She's come on her period and can't find a tampon."

"Oh for fucks sake." Bebe sighs, exasperatedly. "Couldn't you give her one Jenny?"

"Ouch, white skirts too..." Red bites her lip and is given a death glare from Bebe.

"Someone just go and find her." She orders.

"On it." Esther begins to run away.

"Hi Bebe, Heidi is in the changing room." Annie informs us as she enters.

"Wow really?" Bebe drones and walks away.

"...Ok." Annie mutters and sits down on the bench. I watch as Stan appears on the pitch, leading the rest of the team consisting of Kenny, Clyde, Craig, Token, Bridon, Jason and another boy from the year below. Pete Melman automatically walks over to the reserve bench.

"Why is Pete always a reserve?" Jenny asks angrily.

"Because he's shit at football." Milly sniggers. "Why do you care anyway?"

"I don't..." She shrugs.

"He's such a prick." Lola sighs, staring out at the pitch.

"Who Pete?" I frown.

"No!" She retorts. "Bridon. Look at him, his stupid flicky hair, doing stupid stretches."

"...You like his hair." I remind her.

"He's still an idiot." She mutters and I smile. I watch Stan as he pats Kenny on the back and goes over to give everyone a pep talk. He looked so happy, he was in his element. I felt bad for having a go at him earlier, it wasn't his fault. I could see he was trying. I wanted to run out there now and hug him and tell him I was sorry. I was almost about to when Lola interrupts my thoughts again. "Why do we put up with guys Wendy?" She ponders. "Why don't we all just become lesbians? It would be so simple."

"Each to their own." I giggle as Red mouths 'Is she drunk?' to me.

"What's going on with you and Stan then?" Red asks me, nothing my transparent stare towards the football pitch.

"I don't know." I shrug. "I want to make up..."

"Well do it then." She tells me and my eyes glide from her to Bebe, who is running back in with Heidi and Esther in tow. "And quick!"

I make a run for it before Bebe can tell me otherwise and glide across the football pitch. I could tell everyone in the bleachers were staring at me, I wasn't surprised; a random cheerleader was making a run for it. I reach Stan and he turns around after following Token's gaze.

"I just..." I stutter, my words seemed like sand now and I was out of breath from running. "I wanted to say sorry and good luck."

A smile forms on his lips and he picks me up quickly to spin me around. We kiss for about five seconds before all his friends start teasing us.

"I'm sorry to." He whispers. "I love you."

"I love you to." I kiss him quickly in the cheek before running back towards my squad. "You can do it!" I yell, my eyes fixed ahead of me. The sound of Stan's mates cheering is echoing in my ears. Right, now I was ready.


	13. Couple's Night

**Chapter 12:**

 **Cartman PoV**

Lying on the couch was the only thing I could do right now to stop myself feeling like I was going to collapse. My stomach ached so much, it felt as if I was in labour. I had spent lunchtime today in the toilets again, but Tweek and Clyde had been in the cubicles taking dumps for about half an hour. So I had to hang around by the urinals, which Jason had taken the wrong way when he had tried to do a piss. The most annoying thing though, had been the smell of fries wafting in from the cafeteria, which resulted in me banging my head against the wall to resist the temptation. This was so fucking hard. I was obviously eating small amounts, I was going to build up to completely starving myself, but every mouthful of food just felt wrong. I could hear the fat jokes with every bite I took, it seemed my stomach was begging for food but my body was rejecting it. I had to keep pushing though, I was sure that with time, it would get easier. Hopefully…

The doorbell sounds, which suddenly makes me jump. I was not in a position to get up right now. I don't think I could get up right now. "Meeeeeem, someone's at the door!" I whine, trying to look slightly casual and not like I was dying.

"Coming hun." She calls in her usual bright tone. She was like my pet dog; I click my fingers and she comes running. She crosses in front of me to answer our front door. "Eric, it's your little friend; Butters."

Butters? What did he want? "Send him in." I sigh, I could try and get rid of him quickly.

"Well, hey Eric." He greets, kneeling next to the couch as I probably take up most of it. My mom disappears back into the kitchen.

"What do you want?" I snap and he begins to bash his knuckles together. _God that irritated me_. _Stop. Stop. Stop bashing them together_. "What do you want Butters?" I repeat, angrily.

"Well uh… I just wondered whether you wanted to go out tonight." He stammers. _Go out?_ What did he mean by 'go out' exactly?

"What do you mean?" I screw my nose up.

"Erm, well… my dad you see, he says there is this deal on at Shakey's." He informs me. Shakey's? _Yeah I wasn't going there in a million years_. "It's like, a buy one get one free thing… And well, I wondered if you wanted to go?"

"…That's a bit weird." I tell him and he looks confused. _God he was so naive_. "You and me, going out for a meal… just the two of us? Butters, it'll be like _'Super Phun Time'_ all over again."

"Well… I suppose." He bows his head, embarrassed. "I'm sorry I didn't think…"

"Eric, does your little friend want to stay for dinner?" Mom asks from the kitchen. _Shit, dinner. Think of an excuse..._ "We're having southern fried chicken."

"Um… Butters and I are going out..." I yell suddenly and then hear it back. "For a meal. Not like… that…"

"But Eric, you just said-" Butters begins but I cut him off.

"But I'll see you later." I interrupt. Ok, this was good. I could just have a glass of water. Mom would think I was eating a meal and everything would be fine.

"Ok hun." She says. "Do you need some money?"

"…Er, no that's ok, I've got some." I lie, that way I couldn't be tempted. "Come on Butters let's go."

I practically drag him out of the house, my stomach doing somersaults as I did so, my head spinning with it.

 **Kyle PoV**

"Ok, so everything is going to be fine." I stress, partly to myself and partly to Sian, who is stood by my side outside Shakey's. "Your name is Cady, remember that? Not Sian, Cady. We'll just get through this evening and then I will tell them we broke up or something."

"But I broke up with you." She decides. "That way it is more realistic."

"…Thanks." I roll my eyes, _God I was nervous_. "Right, ok, come on then."

She follows me through the restaurant until I see my friends sat in a square booth. Wendy and Stan were sat on the left hand side and Bebe and Kenny were at the back.

"Hi guys." I greet and they all turn to look at me. Their faces drop instantly when they notice Sian, as I expected. "This is Cady, my girlfriend." _This was wrong on so many levels_.

"Hiya, nice to meet you." She waves, sweetly. I have got to give it to her, she is a good actress. Everyone sits there in silence, glancing from me to her repeatedly. They all then exchange a look with one another. It did look ridiculously unrealistic; no way would I ever pull a girl like Sian, but I was enjoying them believing it all the same.

"I'm sure they are pleased to meet you too." I raise my voice and they all snap into action.

"Um, yeah, nice to meet you Cady." Stan looks her up and down, smirking, which results in him receiving a death stare from Wendy.

"Sit down." Bebe indicates to the right side of the booth and we both take our seats awkwardly. "Well I've got to say, you're… beautiful."

Kenny gives her a similar look to Wendy's but then nods in approval. "Yeah, so you two are like together? Seriously?"

"Do you mind Kenny?" I snap and Sian lets out a slight giggle. "Oh yeah sorry, this is Stan and his girlfriend Wendy, they have been together since Elementary school. We call them Romeo and Juliet, or they like to think so and this is Kenny and his girlfriend Bebe. They have only been together for a couple of months, serious relationships aren't her type of thing. They call themselves Barbie and Ken; probably because Bebe is plastic and Kenny's… Well 'Ken'."

"Creative." Sian nods.

"Rude." Bebe corrects her. "No need to show off in front of your girlfriend Kyle."

I wince at it again, ever so slightly so no one notices and decide to change the subject. "Right, shall we order food?"

"Hold on!" Wendy yelps as I pick up the menu. "Let's all just chat first, there's no rush."

"Ok…" I mutter, putting the menu down.

"So, how did you two meet?" Bebe asks Sian, excitedly and Stan and Kenny groan with boredom. We had agreed that I would do all of the talking, which could be awkward as she wasn't directing the question at me.

"We met at a Wall Mart in Denver." I answer, I had this all planned out. "I went with my dad one day and we met in the tinned fruit aisle."

"Right…" Bebe frowns. "Romantic."

"Are you originally from Denver?" Wendy questions. "Only you sound quite Eastern to me, not to sound rude or anything."

"She moved to Denver last summer." I interrupt again and they both look quite agitated.

"Ok Kyle." Bebe interjects. "I'm sure Cady can answer for herself."

"Yeah, talk to Stan about his football match." Wendy suggests.

"Oh yeah, how did that go man?" I ask, maybe this would change the subject. His eyes have moved from Sian's tits at the mention of his name.

"Um, yeah good." He nods. Ok, that was weird, it wasn't like Stan to short-talk football.

"Well, did you win?" I prompt.

"Yeah dude!" He perks up a bit, bumping fists with Kenny.

"Five minutes to go, Stan Marsh, perfect touch down." Kenny hypes. "Wins at life. It was ace."

"Ok, no one cares about that." Bebe shushes him, clearly bored already. "So Cady, you live with both your parents?" There was a silence, I hadn't thought about this one.

She took the hint and answered for herself. "Um, just my mother." She smiles. "I never knew my dad. My mom always wanted a change of scene so we moved over to Denver so she could work there." _Ok, that's enough_. "I've been attending a public school for a year there now, all the guys sprung on me at first, but Kyle is my first _real_ love." _Oh well done, idiot._

"Ahh, so you guys are in love?" Wendy claps her hands excitedly. This was getting too far out of my comfort zone.

"Uh, yeah." I nod, trying not to pull a face whilst I said it. I just dig my fingers into my arm under the table instead.

"But you still haven't slept together?" Bebe's eyes widen. _Ew, no, let's not get onto that_.

"Um… no." Sian hesitates, realising she hadn't waited for me to answer the question.

"Oh well we can give you lots of pointers for when you do." Stan sits up instantly. _Wait what?_

"What?" I panic.

"For starters, he has a pretty big dick." Kenny blurts out. "He had it snipped, you know, at birth, because he is Jewish. So it makes it bigger."

"That's not the _reason_ I had a Bris…" I inform her. "It's part of the religion."

"But more fun for you." Stan points out. I see Sian gulp with disgust. _No, stop, now._ I think repetitively.

"Stan!" Wendy shrieks, hysterically. "Not at the table, that's disgusting!"

"Yeah, let's just…" I start.

"He shaves too, which is always good." Kenny continues. "Well it depends on your preference." _This was the worst idea I have ever had_. I needed an excuse to stop this conversation. Sian coughs awkwardly. _Think of something Kyle_.

"Hey is that Cartman and Butters?" Stan pipes up, pointing over to the entrance. Yes, Stan saves the day. Cartman and Butters had arrived… Wait… Cartman? "CARTMAN?" Stan yells and I panic internally. Shit, no.

"Stan, keep your voice down." Wendy frets. "Why do you want to see him anyway?"

"I want to know why he is at couple's night with Butters." Stan sniggers. Cartman turns his head to where we are sitting and tries to avoid us, but Butters is pulling him over before we know it.

"Hey cuties!" Kenny teases as they arrive at our table.

"You could think of a less gay greeting Kenny." Cartman mutters.

"Oh, I think you are the ones who are gay." Kenny points out. "Dinner for two, is it?"

"Shut up." Cartman yells. "We're just having dinner here, that's all."

"What on couple's night?" Stan frowns.

"Couple's night?" Cartman repeats, looking confused. "What the…"

"There is a deal on; buy one get one free." Bebe prompts.

"Yeah, that's what we are here for." Butters nods, thinking he is covering his tracks.

"Yeah…" Stan gestures to the menu. "The deal is for couples."

They all burst out laughing at Cartman's shocked expression and then I see him turn on me. _Shit, don't say anything. Don't say anything._

"Well it's not as bad as bringing you cousin." Cartman scoffs. _Fuck._ "That's sick dude."

"What?" Kenny laughs at him, as if he has gone crazy.

" _Sian_ , is it?" Cartman remembers. "You were very rude the other day on the doorstep, I must say."

"Um…" Sian attempts to come up with some excuse. Everyone is staring at us now, confused.

"It's Cady." I try to cover but Cartman is adamant.

"No…" He objects. "You said cousin Sian."

"Cousin Sian?" Stan repeats. "Who's ' _cousin Sian'_?"

"Kyle's cousin…" Cartman trails off, pointing to my 'girlfriend' who is looking extremely awkward. I stare down at the table, having nothing to say. But Cartman has clocked it. "Oh-ho." He grimaces, his face looking as if lunch and dinner had been rolled into one. "I see… That's low Kyle, even for you."

At this point Sian jumps up and runs out of the restaurant before being humiliated any further. I look up to see my friend's staring at me with open mouths.

"…Kyle?" Wendy looks disgusted, I was pretty certain I was the colour of a tomato right now. "…She's your cousin?"

"…Yeah." I whisper, looking up at Cartman who is practically dancing with glee.

"What the fuck Dude." Kenny begins to laugh again. I felt like crying. "Why would you do that?"

A tear drops from my eye without my consent and I am instantly up and running away from the table. This was honestly the most embarrassing moment of my life. I practically collapse on the sidewalk outside, balling my eyes out and being judged by passers-by.

 **Stan PoV**

"Sorry to ruin your evening." Cartman bows curtly, clearly pleased with his achievement.

"You didn't, thanks for the entertainment." Bebe giggles and Kenny bursts out laughing again.

"Fuck off Cartman." I tell him defensively and he leaves without question. "Stop laughing you two, it's not funny."

"It is!" Bebe objects. I could see Kenny was a bit more sensitive but she was leading him astray. "Did you see how awkward he looked?"

"Oh my God, we were talking about the sex stuff too!" Kenny chips in and they high five.

"How pathetic is he?" Bebe exclaims through the fits of laughter.

"Bebe, that's horrible." Wendy scolds. I was glad to see she was acting maturely.

"What? He is! Pretending his cousin is his girlfriend?" She smirks. "He deserves it."

"Ok, that's enough." I bang my fist on the table before getting up.

"Where are you going?" Wendy asks me.

"To find Kyle." I reply. "Where do you think?"

I leave the restaurant without another word. The fresh air hitting me suddenly. It doesn't take me long to spot Kyle, sitting and wiping his eyes on the edge of the road. 'Sian' was nowhere to be seen. I felt bad for him, sat there like a lost little kid.

"Hey." I whisper as I sit down next to him and he looks away from me, ashamed. "You ok?"

"Do you think I'm ok?" He asks, weakly. "I'm an idiot." He raises his voice. "AN IDIOT!" He throws a rock aggressively into the road and I shush him.

"You're not an idiot Kyle." I empathise. "You're human. We've all done stupid things. I just wish you had told me you felt left out before hand, you still could have joined us, avoided the… humiliation."

"Yeah well I am humiliated." He snaps, defensively. "I bet they're all having a good laugh."

"…No." I lie. "We all care about you. _I_ care about you."

He looks at me then, long and hard, for about ten seconds. Not avoiding eye contact. It is as if he is staring straight through my eyeballs to read my thoughts inside my head. Then he looks away again, quickly, as if I have panicked him.

"What?" I mumble and he looks back at me and then the floor.

"Nothing." He yells, getting up. "Nothing. Just everybody leave me alone!"

He begins to run off down the road. "Don't do anything stupid." I call after him.

"I already have!" I hear him burst into tears again.

I watch him disappear into the distance and then stare out at the snow covered sidewalk on the opposing side of the street. I put my head in my hands. What a day…

 ** _Author Note: Ahhh! What an awkward scene to write. I was cringing all the way through! Hope you guys liked it though. Review?:)_**


	14. News Spreads Fast

**Chapter 13:**

 _ **Author Note: Would like to apologise for any use of British language in the fanfic! I couldn't reply to the review who pointed it out but I have been trying my best to insert American Literature where appropriate! Thank you for letting me know though and I will be more careful in future chapters. Notice how I did change 'chips' to 'fries' halfway through after I remembered;)**_

 **Kenny PoV**

"Kenny, make me a cup of hot water will you." Mom calls from the couch. She was out of hospital now and was milking this for all she was worth. This annoyed me; why should I have to wait on her hand and foot when she was the irresponsible one?

"It depends." I reply. "Whether you apologise to Karen or not."

"Why should I apologise to her?" She snaps. I hated her, lying there on our broken down couch, springs and stuffing everywhere. We had no pillows to cover it in so it just looked a complete mess. Especially with my druggy of a mother on top of it, thin and frail with bags under her eyes. Her red hair was greasy and any excess make-up from last week had run and dried on her face.

"Because _you_ are the one who has betrayed her." I raise my voice. "Again."

"Kenny, I've just come out of hospital." She argues. "It's not my fault I have been driven to this-"

"YES IT IS!" I yell, throwing a chipped glass at the wall and she looks up abruptly. "IT IS ALWAYS YOUR FAULT. YOU AND DAD. THANKS TO YOU, OUR FAMILY IS BROKEN. _BROKEN_."

I storm out of the room and run up the stairs, slamming my bedroom door. I throw myself down on the bed and hammer it with my fists. Why was I forced to live like this? Why did my parents bring me into a world where they couldn't care for me? Well, I knew why; a bottle of vodka and sexual assault. Yet my mother was still with my dad, after the many times he has raped her, or claimed to. They hardly ever spoke anymore. I don't think they knew squat about each other.

I knew he wouldn't care, but I thought I should let him know all the same. I hated my dad even more than mom. I dialled his number into my cell and held it to my ear. After ringing out, it went straight to voicemail. He was probably passed out in a ditch somewhere. He charged his phone up at Skeeters bar every evening. I was about to hang up before I had a better idea.

"Dad? It's Kenny." I gulp, I was so fed up of this. "Mom is home, not that you care. But I want to see your face round here in the next twenty four hours. So put the drink down, and get your ass down here else I'm coming to find you. You need to man up for once and help out. Karen needs you and mom needs you. So quit fucking around."

I hang up before I could delete the message. I couldn't believe I had just done that, I was in deep shit now. But I was virtually as tall as him, so since Kevin wasn't going to take action, I was going to do something about it.

Monday Morning:

 **Wendy PoV**

"Why am I here again?" Stan slumps down in his seat next to me.

"Good morning to you too." I give a sarcastic smile and he kisses me on the lips. "Where Kyle?"

"No sign of him." Kenny informs me. "We have both tried calling him but he's just not picking up."

"Yeah well I'm not surprised..." I sigh, I did feel sorry for him. That must have been totally humiliating, bless him, he was only trying to fit in. "Especially with the way you acted."

"Well he doesn't know!" Kenny objects. "Besides, I feel really bad about that. Honestly, and look hey, no one else needs to know."

"I wouldn't be too sure about that." Stan grimaces. "The morning announcements are going to start in a bit."

"He wouldn't..." I trail off. Surely Cartman couldn't be that cruel... Oh wait a second, I take it back, yeah he could. "Where is Bebe anyway Kenny?"

"I don't know." He shrugs. "Probably applying lip gloss or something."

"Hey." Clyde jabs me in the back hard and I spin my head around, glaring at him. If there was one person I didn't like, it was Clyde and trust me, I had my reasons... He was sat behind me with his gang of Craig, Tweek, Jason, Jimmy and Token. They had always been a tight group of friends, back in Elementary school it appeared to have been lead by Craig, back when he was a complete douche bag, but it was clear that Clyde was now the leader. I liked the majority of the group, particularly Token, Craig and Tweek. It was just Clyde that was in the same boat as Cartman for me. He had been through a lot of shit with Bebe and hadn't supported her when she had needed it. Then he took advantage of her when she was really drunk a few months back... Which was something neither her or Kenny knew, because it was the night they got together and she didn't seem to have any recollection of it happening. Clyde obviously did, as did Stan and I. Hopefully that was it because I knew it could jeopardize their relationship if he found out.

"What?" I snap, the disadvantage of being one of the most popular girls in the year is that dickheads like Clyde always talk to you when they want something.

"Is it true?" He smirks and Jason covers his hand with his mouth.

"Is what true?" Stan repeats, turning around and putting his arm around me defensively.

"About Kyle?" He laughs and my heart sinks. I exchange a worried glance with Stan. "You were there right?"

"What are you talking about?" Kenny tries to cover it up but our faces say it all.

"Oh my God, it is true!" Jason scoffs and Jimmy starts laughing too.

"He pretended his cousin was his girlfriend?" Clyde grins, God I hated him. Luckily Token didn't seem to find it as funny and at least Craig and Tweek weren't balling their eyes out about it.

"It's not funny you dickhead." Stan retorts. God I was going to kill Cartman.

As if he had read my mind, Cartman's nasal voice suddenly booms out over he entire homeroom. "Good morning students of South Park Elementary. These are the morning announcements and _I_ am Eric Cartman."

"And _I_ , am Eric 'Fartman'." Stan imitates in a high pitched voice, which makes me laugh.

"Lunch today is beef stew." He informs us. "Apart from Kenny who won't be able to afford it, so he can just have cream corn... again."

"Fucking hell." Kenny mutters, putting his head in his hands.

"Sci-fi club is today for all those nerds who don't want to go to recess because they have no friends." He continues on and there is a short whine from Kevin Stoley, who created the club. "They meet in the S3 at the start of lunchtime. All revision guides have to be purchased by tomorrow, forms will be given out today... Wow they are cutting that a bit fine aren't they? Does the school not want us to do well in our exams? Or are they just _that_ un-organised? Hmm... In more interesting news, I will be purchasing the new Racer Raid game for Xbox tonight, so if anyone would like some more information on that, or can't afford it, please come to me so I can brag. I'm talking to you Kenny."

"Dude, he's really got it in for you today." Stan turns to Kenny, who still has his head in his hands and looks half asleep.

"Now, I would tell you about the interesting events that happened over the weekend." Cartman adds and I glance at Stan. This was it, he was going to fuck someone's life up yet again. "However, it turns out that Bebe Stevens has already spread the news around the school for me. So if you don't know about Kyle Broflovski's little... date night, I suggest you go to her. Have an average day kids, I hope you all get F's. Those were the morning announcements and _I_ am Eric Cartman."

The announcements end and we are all plunged into silence. Bebe? Bebe did this? I whip my head around to face Clyde, who is beginning to chortle again. "Clyde, did Bebe tell you about Kyle?"

"Nah mate. I heard it from Bridon, who heard it from Douglas, who heard it from Emily, who heard it from Lexus, who heard it from Red, who heard it from Bebe." He sneers, satisfied with his recollection.

"News spreads fast." Jason adds and I glare at him before turning back around.

"It's really not that interesting, surely." Stan sighs. "People aren't _that_ pathetic..."

"Well clearly they are." I indicate to behind me again and then turn to Kenny. "It was Bebe."

"Well she was bound to tell Red." Kenny tries to defend her and I roll my eyes. "My question is why did Red tell Lexus?"

"If our sources are true." Stan points out. We all sit there in silence for a moment, thinking about how we were going to warn Kyle. This was not going to go down well.

 **Bebe PoV**

I had stayed home today because I had cramps, they were probably menstrual, but my period had been incredibly light this month. I suppose that is always a good thing though, I hated heavy flows.

I am curling my hair at the dressing table when Wendy's name flashes up on the screen of my cell. Ugh, I couldn't be bothered to talk to her right now, but I picked it up all the same.

"Hi babe." I greet, putting her on speaker so I could continue curling my hair.

"Bebe, where are you?" She sounded quite annoyed.

"I'm sick." I tell her and there is a short pause.

"No you're not, you're curling your hair." She responds, did she have super powers or something?

"What? How do you know that?" I retort.

"Because you're doing that voice you do when you are styling you hair." She sighs. "And I can hear your curlers beeping."

"...Well, so what if I am?" I object. "I've got cramps, I'll get bored lying in bed all day."

"You know everyone knows about what happened on Saturday night because of you?" Wendy suddenly blurts out. _What? Because of me?_

"How?" I reply, confused. "I only told Red... And Lola."

"Oh well that solves it!" I hear her say, but it sounded like she was talking to Stan and Kenny instead because I heard two guys voices. "Bebe told Lola too, Lola will have told Bridon and that's how Clyde heard it."

"Well does it really matter?" I interrupt, alerting them that I was still here.

"Yes, because what about Kyle?" Wendy raises her voice. Oh great, she was going to make another scene in the cafeteria again.

"Well I'm sorry for telling two people Wendy!" I yell. "Besides, if I hadn't, Cartman would have anyway." There was silence and I took this as a cue to hang up on her. Jeez, she could be so annoying sometimes; over exaggerating everything. Plus was she like in love with Kyle or something? She has been defending him since Saturday night. I still thought it was pretty pathetic of him, but I wasn't going to tell everyone at school about it. I wasn't that sort of a person... Well, sometimes maybe...


	15. Dealing With Rumours

**Chapter 14:**

 _ **A/N: For all those asking why the updates are so fast, it is because I have been on study leave and all my exams have finished before other people's. Hence why I have started a new book. However, now I am back at college and I am afraid updates will probably be a bit slower so bare with me!**_

 **Kyle PoV**

Nervous didn't cut it. I had skipped school yesterday with a 'migraine' but mom was adamant that I was well enough to go in today. I didn't want to. I didn't want to see any of my friends. I didn't want to see Cartman's sneering face or the concerned teachers asking about yesterday's absence. The only advantage of going in today, would be that I didn't have to exchange more awkward glances with Sian whenever she was prancing around the house.

I especially did not want to see Stan. Not only had I totally humiliated myself in front of him, but I had also been really... weird around him afterwards. I didn't really know what had happened, it was just the way he was talking to me and his eyes seemed so deep and meaningful. When I had looked into them I had gotten butterflies. I had no idea why that had happened, maybe because I had been so shattered that evening anyway. He probably thought I was even more of a freak now, it wouldn't surprise me, I didn't understand myself either.

I had begged a lift off mom this morning, so at least I didn't have to catch the bus. She pulls up outside the school and I hesitate for a second, my hand on the car door.

"Well go on then Kyle." Mom persists. "Else you'll be late."

I reluctantly get out of the car without further conversation and hastily walk up the path to the double doors. There are students milling around; freshmen scribbling down homework and juniors chatting excitedly. I did not want to go to homeroom. Maybe I could skip it? No, I had to be registered. I take a deep breath before entering the classroom and push the door open. I see Stan, Kenny and Wendy all look up at me, concerned. When Bebe raises her head however, she gives a slight cough but doesn't seem to care that much.

"Hi Kyle!" Stan exclaims, looking half shocked half relieved at my appearance. At the mention of my name, I see the majority of the class look up and stare at me. Shit. I see Clyde and I few of his friends begin to chuckle, followed by a couple of the Raisins girls. Other people were looking confused or even disgusted. They all knew. My worst nightmare had come true.

I was going to kill Cartman.

I slowly move over to my desk and slump down in my chair next to Stan. I just tilt my head downwards and pretend to be writing notes on a piece of paper.

"Hey dude." Stan tries again, nudging me. Fuck off Stan. Why did he always have to make a big deal out of everything? If he hadn't announced my name when I came in, people may not have noticed me. "Kyle, are you ok?"

"No Stan, I'm not ok." I hiss. "How does everyone know? Did Cartman tell everyone in the morning announcements or personally? Maybe he shouted it out in the cafeteria, or stuck up pictures of my face on the notice board?"

"It wasn't Cartman." Stan interrupts me. What? "It was more... A word of mouth kind of thing... Starting with Bebe."

Bebe? Bebe started this off? "Why?" I stammer and he just shrugs. She was such a bitch; always trying to get attention by spreading rumours. Why did I ever like her?

 **Cartman PoV**

Once the announcements were over I was called straight to the principal's office. Yet again, they were going to lecture me on how my speeches were not appropriate and I had to stick to the notes I was given, which I did, I just elaborated on them. They would probably try and push me out of the role, giving it to someone like Casey Miller instead, because he was the kind of boring student they wanted to read the announcements. Like, who was going to enjoy those? The reason people come to school is probably to hear me voice what everyone is thinking to the teachers and pupils. I'm sure it was the highlight of their day.

"Look, I know what you are going to say-" I enter the principal's office without knocking. She was sat at her desk, accompanied by Mr Mackey, the school councillor. He had been working with us in Elementary school, maybe he just loved us so much he had to follow us through... Yeah, doubt it.

"Eric, take a seat please." She looked pretty serious. Ok, time to get out my list.

"Before you give your reasons as to why you are going to sack me." I begin. "I would like to voice to you a few of mine."

"Eric, we're not sacking you." She states. "Just take a seat please."

I reluctantly sit down on the chair and glance from Mr Mackey to Principal Victoria repeatedly.

"The catering staff are a bit worried about you." She cuts straight to the point. "They have noticed you have stopped purchasing food."

"Yes." I nod. "So..."

"Eric, we need to ensure you are having a balanced and nutritious diet mkay." Mr Mackey reasons with me. "You have been purchasing school dinners since kindergarten mkay, why have you suddenly stopped?"

"Because I'm bringing a lunch bag now." I lie, but it is believable. "Kenny does it every day, what's so wrong with that?"

"Well, that's because Kenny McCormick has a... lower family income than other students." She informs me. "I'm sure you know that."

"...No I wasn't aware." I joke but keep a straight face. How dumb did she think I was? "I've just been his best friend since Elementary and all..."

"Well I'm sure Kenny would see it differently mkay." Mr Mackey coughs and receives a withered glare off the principal.

"What we are trying to say is that we need to make sure you are eating." She concludes. "That you are not doing anything... extreme regarding your diet."

"Principal Victoria. Would you look at me, just for a second?" I stand up on the chair and spin round a few times as if modelling a new outfit. "Ok, do I look like I am not eating?"

"Well you have lost a bit of weight-" She persists.

"But do I look like I am not eating?" I repeat and they both shake their heads. "Good, I'm glad that is cleared up then." I sit back down and stare at them intently.

"That is all Eric, you can go now." She tells me.

"Sweet." I pull myself up and walk out of the door. Inconsiderate uncle fuckers, why couldn't they mind their own business?

 **Stan PoV**

"Right, tomorrow, you and me." I point to my phone screen. "We have to go see this new movie, it's got five star reviews."

"Tomorrow?" Wendy questions.

"Yeah, you know. I think we need a night out and hey, I'll even buy you popcorn." I nudge her playfully.

"We went out the other night." She points out. Ok, she was pissed off for some reason. "Besides, I can't tomorrow night, sorry Stan."

"What? Why?" I frown, checking my mental calendar.

"I'm helping Craig with that composition." She tells me and a wave of jealousy washes over me. Yes, I know Craig is with Tweek and that I could trust Wendy, but I still hated her hanging out with other guys.

"Right." I swallow. "That's fine, maybe I'll go with someone else then." I was hoping maybe it would make her jealous. She would turn around and say 'actually, I'd love to come, I'll just tell Craig its off'. But no, she continued to stare down at her magazine, chewing on her salad as she did so.

"Why don't you ask Kyle?" She suggests, still not making eye contact. Kyle? What was she trying to achieve here? Kyle and I hadn't done anything together... alone in ages. As if reading my mind, she adds; "It will be good for you to have a catch up."

"Yeah, ok." I nod. "I suppose."

Kyle has not shown up in the canteen for lunch, so I took this as an opportunity to go and find him. I also had no idea where Kenny and Bebe were located; probably having a quickie in the janitors closet. Hence why Wendy and I had been alone this lunch time. I see her move over to sit with the girls as soon as I walk away though, so I didn't feel all bad. Although I was still annoyed at her for being very vague with me all lunchtime. I find Craig and Tweek, up against the lockers talking. I decided to corner them before they started kissing.

"Craig?" I called and he looked up. I wanted to punch him in the face or yell at him about asking my girlfriend to do some project with him. But instead, I swallowed my anger. "Do you know where Kyle is?"

"Er, no." He shrugs. "With his cousin maybe?"

Dickhead. I walk away from him without another word before Tweek pipes up.

"He was in the toilets earlier." He stammers. "Just standing against the wall on his phone."

"Ok, thanks." I smile, what the hell did he see in Craig Tucker? I head for the boys toilets and swing the door open. It was empty, that was weird, the toilets were hardly ever empty at lunch time. I double check the door to ensure it was not the transgender one; Wendy had got a petition signed to make them look exactly the same as both the boys and girls bathroom's, so that there was no inequality. Nope, definitely the boys. "Kyle?" I call out. No response. I begin to leave before I hear the faint sound of someone snivelling. I tiptoe over to the furthest cubicle, where the door was locked. Well done detective Stan, maybe you should have checked the doors first. I pause outside, it was Kyle, I knew it was Kyle; it was the same cry I endured when he got that haemorrhoid, or when he was rated ugliest in the class by the girls. He hadn't actually been the ugliest, it had been altered so it was safe to date the rich boys who were at the top. Not the time Stan. "Kyle? Let me in."

"...Go away Stan." He whispers.

"...No." I laugh in a friendly manner. "What's the matter?"

"What do you think is the matter?" He retorts, sliding the lock across and pushing the door open, almost knocking me to the side. "Everyone thinks I'm a freak."

"No, they don't." I argue. "Anyone with maturity levels higher than Cartman doesn't and besides, it's just a shitty rumour. I will give it three days before everyone has forgotten. Hey, it's only a bit of gossip, you wait till Pete Melman craps his pants again or Butters dresses up like a girl or people find out I'm still hoarding things in my locker. Do not, tell Wendy that."

He gives a slight laugh and wipes his tears. Success. "Thanks Stan." He smiles and hugs me.

"Oh." I pull my phone out of my pocket when he has let go. "I wondered if you wanted to come and see a movie with me tomorrow night?"

I see his face crease up slightly in anguish. Don't tell me he was busy too. He looks up at me and then the floor. Wait, he was doing that weird look again, the same one he gave me the night we were sat on the sidewalk. This time he didn't run away though. "Yeah, I'd love to."

Ok, that was confusing...


	16. Like Father, Like Son

**Chapter 15:**

 _ **A/N: Sorry for the sudden lack in updates, very busy at the moment but thank you for some of the lovely reviews you have all given me, it's what inspires me to keep writing! As you can tell from this chapter I am a song writer... But hopefully my lyrics are not as bad as these!**_

 **Wendy PoV**

I was apprehensive about this music project; Craig Tucker was one of those guys you could never read easily. He could either be funny and kind, or in a really shitty mood where he is constantly flipping you off. No one really understood him, I suppose that is why we were all so surprised when he came out as bisexual; Tweek was a more obvious homosexual but Craig was always rather mysterious.

Either way, I had agreed to work on this composition with him now, so I couldn't back out. Plus, it gave me chance to hang around with people who weren't jumping down my throat all of the time, mainly consisting of Stan and Bebe. Cancer was also a very important topic to me; my mom had been diagnosed with breast cancer when she was younger and my grandma had died from it. Therefore, I was hoping I would be able to give something to the project, as well as my voice.

"Hi Craig." I greet as I enter the music room, he was sat playing some complicated melody on the piano. That was another thing; you would never expect him to be a grade 7 in piano. Mind you, the only other person in the year who could play it was Cartman, but that was just because he picked it up when creating a Christian Rock Band in fourth grade. Craig finishes his piece and then waves to me. I was desperately hoping this wasn't going to be awkward, I was the worst person at trying to make conversation when the other person was not.

"You actually came?" He beams, sounding surprised. Was I that unreliable?

"Uh, yeah." I shrug. "Course I did, why wouldn't I?"

"Because it's kind of lame." He gives a slight laugh and I look around the classroom. I hadn't been in here since sophomore year but it was pretty awesome; old records were decorating the walls, alongside guitars which were hung up and several exotic looking instruments lined the edge of the carpet.

"No it's not, it's awesome." I exclaim. "Besides, you asked me to help you out, I'm looking forward to it."

"Yeah right." He raises his eyebrows. "I wouldn't go that far." I am about to respond before he starts collecting up pieces of music and dumping them on another table. He sits down again at the piano and pulls a chair up for me. "So, I've got a basic melody at the moment, which I will add depth to when we have got more of an idea for the lyrics."

"Wow, you've been busy." I sit down next to him so that our shoulders are almost touching. I felt slightly uncomfortable being this close to him but I wasn't about to complain.

"Yeah so I thought maybe today we could mind map some ideas for lyrics?" He suggests and then turns to study me carefully. "I know that it is a really sensitive topic for you, so don't feel... pressured into anything."

"Don't worry." I smile at him. "Any way to raise awareness and I'm in."

"Let's just hope Cartman, doesn't fuck this up too." He rolls his eyes and the memories come flooding back; how Cartman joked about the disease for days and then ate his own underwear so that I wouldn't fight him. The thought of it now almost makes me laugh, but it is drowned out by the deep anger.

"I'll just beat him up again." I joke and then watch as Craig draws a bubble in the middle of the paper and sketches some arrows coming out of it. "Right so, emotions?"

"Fear?" I question and he writes it down immediately. I search my brain for thoughts my mother had told me. "Panic, anger, frustration. Sorrow, confusion, unknowing... Emptiness." I realise I have blurted everything out and he is scribbling fast to catch up. "Sorry, I can babble on."

"No it's good." He nods. "Emptiness?"

"Well, sometimes you can feel all those emotions, but you can still feel nothing at all." I explain. "Like it has taken everything from you, or overloaded you with so much fear and anger and sorrow that everything just dissolves into nothing."

He stares at me again for a few seconds and then starts playing a sad tune on the piano, it is beautiful though, very very beautiful. "It takes a thousand messages to make you feel nothing. But when you feel this broken how can cancer keep on crushing?" He starts to sing. He could sing? His voice was clear and acoustic, with a natural vibrato. I was amazed. "So when it knocks you down and you can't carry on. Remember that inside you, there's a part of you that's strong."

He stops abruptly, which is annoying as it doesn't give me chance to collect myself before he turns his head to look at me again. My mouth was hanging open in awe, which makes me look both shocked and pathetic. "Tell me something." I cough after a short pause. "Why did you ask me to come here if you have an amazing voice yourself?"

"It's not amazing." I blushes slightly. "But, because I think... Your voice is beautiful and you are kind of an... inspiration to me, where the song is concerned. I mean, you work so hard to raise awareness for the disease and don't let anyone push you around."

Suddenly I feel so much more at home sitting next to him. I watch his eyes as they glide back to the piano and start moving gracefully over the keys again. "So when did we start turning the blind eye? To the angels who are waving goodbye?" He pauses and makes a note on the paper in front of him.

"I think you should sing too in this." I tell him. "We can do a duet, everyone needs to know about your voice."

"God no." He looks up, alarmed. "No one can know. If people know that I sing, I'll be ripped on until graduation day. Can you imagine if Clyde knew? Kyle and his cousin would be distant history."

"What so... You're scared?" I frown, confused at why he cared so much.

"No." He shakes his head. "I'm not _scared_ , I'm weak. I'm weak because I don't have the courage to stand up for myself. Hell, it took Tweek and I a year to finally reveal we were together. I hate people knowing who I really am."

Suddenly everything was clear. "Clyde's an idiot." Is all I come out with. "I think you're strong... And don't let anyone tell you any different."

 **Kenny PoV**

"Right. I have to go out." I announce. Karen was doing her homework at the table and I don't think mom had moved from the couch in two days.

"You don't start work until six." Kevin points out as he enters the room, his hair greasy and teeth rotting. He was the spitting image of my dad, I wouldn't be surprised if he turned out to be exactly the same. I looked nothing like either of my parents, I was hoping maybe I was adopted but I knew that was impossible. Besides, who would let my parents adopt?

"I know, I've got to go somewhere beforehand." I say, stashing a bunch of notes in my pocket. I had to keep my money locked up in a box so that mom didn't steal any of it. "Talking of which, when are you going back to work mom?"

She is staring blankly at the television. There is some programme about doing house decorating on there. I doubt she is watching it, probably just daydreaming about how _we_ would decorate a house if we actually earned an income.

"Mom?" Kevin chips in and she looks up angrily. Oh yeah so she responds to the drug dealer.

"Soon." She shrugs. I grab the remote from the edge of the couch and click the screen off.

"Right, get up." I order. "Go and have a shower then get down here and make Karen dinner."

"You can't tell me what to do." She yells.

"Why can't I come with you Kenny?" Karen asks, looking up after mom's sudden uproar. I knew why she couldn't come with me; because I was going to track down dad and whatever happened, it wasn't going to be pretty.

"Because this is important." I speak to her softly. "But I will be back soon, promise." I walk over to mom and whisper in her ear so Karen can't hear me. "I swear to God, if you don't do something about yourself soon, I'll be phoning the police." I spit, grabbing the neck of her T-shirt. "You have one more chance."

I let her go and she makes a run for the stairs.

"What did you say to her?" Kevin questions, astonished.

"Nothing." I reply, bluntly and then turn to him. "You keep those drugs away from her though. Ok?"

"Last time was an accident." He defends himself.

"It's always an accident." I hiss. "You keep those things lying around and she's gonna take them. Be careful, else you'll be banged up and all."

I disappear out of the door, leaving behind Kevin's threats of beating me up. I head for Skeeter's bar, eyes focused on the grotty red and white sign that no longer lit up anymore. I push the door open and the old bell clinks with fatigue.

"Skeeter, where's dad?" I ask, walking over to the bar. Bits of white were beginning to show in his red hair. He was sat the at the end of the bar, glass in his hand. There were a couple of old folk sat around at tables on their own and two drunk rednecks at the other end of the room, slowly guzzling rum and keeping their eyes on the television screen. It was broadcasting some horse race or something completely uninteresting.

"Barred." The bartender replies, considering Skeeter looked too wasted to to talk. "He didn't take it lightly either. Had to get Skeeter to drag him out."

"So where is he now?" I question, sitting down on the bar stool. Skeeter clicks his fingers and the bartender pulls out a bottle of beer from the fridge, sliding it over to me. I wasn't of the legal age to drink yet, but considering all the money my father had handed him over in the last few years, they didn't really seem to mind. I take a few gulps of the cool liquid, feeling refreshed as it slides down my throat.

"In a gutter?" Skeeter slurs, coming over to join me. "Maybe robbing a house for money to spend in the next bar along."

"Yeah well, he can be dead for all I care." I drone but pull out my phone to call him all the same. It goes to voicemail instantly this time and I slide it back into my pocket without leaving a message. "No reply, phone's dead."

"When did he last come home son?" The bartender inquires and I down the rest of the bottle.

"You're joking right?" I give a slight laugh. "I think _this_ is more his home than anywhere... You got anything stronger?"

I watch him and Skeeter exchange a look before he pulls out a bottle of vodka, pouring me a double in a glass. I take it off him and wince as it burns my throat. In a way, it was a good feeling; it made me feel alive. This was the most sympathy I had ever felt for dad, I could at least now understand why he spent his life drinking, not that I was condemning it of course.

"You want anymore and you're paying." He warns. "I give enough freebies to your family."

I pull out a couple of dollars and slam them down on the counter. I would have one more and then leave. I felt pretty sober anyway, although that was probably because it hasn't kicked yet. Either way, I needed courage to face my dad.

 **Bebe PoV**

I had skipped school again today, but this time it had been for a valid reason. I felt fine now and was up and dressed, but I had felt extremely nauseous this morning when I woke up. On the positive side though, I had missed all the shitty lessons I would have had today. Every cloud I suppose...

"Bebe!" Mom trilled up the stairs. "Red is here to see you."

Oh great, another person who was going to bang on about my poor attendance. Mind you, Red was nowhere near as annoying as Wendy. All the same, I throw a couple of tissues down on the bed and get under the covers.

"Hi Bey." Red waves as she enters the room, cautiously. "Just came to check you were ok."

"Uh, yeah I'm fine." I tell her. "Just feeling a bit sick that's all."

"Right..." She looks unconvinced, it wasn't surprising; I was a shit actress. "Miss Ashton called an emergency cheer practice today."

"What?" I sit bolt upright and she giggles, seeing me fully clothed. "Why?"

"She didn't really." She laughs. "I just knew that would make you cut it out."

"Red, I really hate you sometimes." I mutter before my phone starts to ring. I check it, seeing an unknown number flash up on the screen.

"Who is it?" Red asks and I just shrug.

"Probably some guy I have given my number to." I flick my hair and answer the call, sweetly. "Hello?"

"Bebe Stevens?" A male voice speaks, but he sounded a lot older than me. Weird, I couldn't remember giving anyone over thirty my cell number. "This is _Harrison's Hardware's_ calling."

"It's where Kenny works." I mutter to Red, what did they want? "Yeah?"

"You are listed as Kenny McCormick's emergency contact." He informs me.

"What?" I frown. "Is he ok?"

"He's drunk." He replies, bluntly and my eyes widen. "He's turned up to work completely wasted. You're going to need to come and collect him now."

"Um... Ok, I'll be right over." I tell him, jumping out of bed and gathering my things. Drunk? Kenny? This didn't make sense.

"Oh and just so you know." He continues. "He has been informed that he is fired, but he probably won't remember that in the morning so you should let him know." He hangs up before I can answer.

"Kenny turned up to work drunk." I say to Red and she looks just as confused as me. "I have to get over there now, sorry about this."

"No it's fine, honestly." She smiles, walking down the stairs with me.

"Mom, I've got to go out." I call and slam the front door before she can respond. "I'll see you later Red." I climb into the car as she kisses me on the cheek and then continues on down the road. It wasn't a long drive to the hardware store, but surely Kenny must have been walking today, unless he wanted to get charged for drunk driving. But I suppose he wasn't in the right frame of mind. I pull into a parking space and clatter into the store in my heels. It only takes me a second to spot him, as he is yelling at some old woman in aisle twelve.

"Bebe Stevens?" I hear the voice from the phone and spin around to meet eyes with a middle aged man.

"Yes." I reply, slightly embarrassed. I was going to kill Kenny when he was sobered up.

"Right this way." He leads me towards where Kenny is waving a hammer around. A member of staff runs up to him and confiscates it immediately.

"Hey!" He yells, pointing his finger in the wrong direction. "That was my lightsaber!"

"Kenny, what the fuck?" I scream at him, slapping him hard round the face.

"I suggest you take him home and do your domestics there." The man pats me on the shoulder rudely. "Don't you dare ever come back young man."

"You're an old man!" He slurs which angers him even more. I virtually drag Kenny out of the store until we are in the parking lot. He clings onto a shopping cart with his free hand and the chain attaching it to the one in front snaps, causing it to roll off and taking him down with it.

"Kenny, cut it out." I snap as he lies on the floor laughing. His hand is badly cut for some reason and he also has a black eye. "Get up now."

"Can't." He pants, scrabbling around on the floor.

I notice that a pair of women are staring at me, shaking their heads in disgust. I whip out my cell and find Stan on speed dial. I couldn't deal with this by myself. 


	17. The Effects of Vodka

**Chapter 16:**

 _ **Trigger Warning: This chapter contains scenes of violence and graphic descriptions which some readers may find disturbing.**_

 **Stan PoV**

I have to admit tonight was a bit awkward with Kyle, but at least we were at the movies, so there was no need to make conversation. I was hoping he was enjoying the movie though, because I was finding it extremely dull. How it got five stars is beyond me. It was just another of those typical romance movies. I had thought it would be a lot more masculine, but it was the kind of thing Wendy and Bebe would come and watch together. I was pretty certain everyone thought we were a gay couple; I did see two girls eyeing us up and I thought they were checking us out until they began kissing.

My thoughts are interrupted when my cell begins to vibrate. Kyle jumps as it does so, glaring at me.

"Stan, you're supposed to have that turned off." He hisses and I check the phone screen. Bebe? Why was Bebe calling me.

"I'm gonna take this." I whisper and climb over him to exit the theatre, people staring at me as I do so. It gave me an excuse to get out of the movie anyway. "Bebe, what do you want?" I answer the phone.

"Stan, I need your help." She replies almost instantly, sounding panicked. "It's Kenny."

"What about him?" I choke, a popcorn kernel still stuck in my throat.

"He's just like... collapsed on the floor." She tells me. "He's completely bladdered. Please, we're at the hardware store and I need you to help me get him home."

"Ok... I'll be there as soon as possible." I reply, debating whether to leave Kyle or go and get him. I could probably be back before the end of the movie, but I couldn't bet on it. On the other hand, he appeared to be enjoying it for some reason and it would mean having to go back into the theatre, cause a scene and then exit again. I find Kyle's name in my contacts and send him a quick text message.

'Sorry, emergency. I'll be back as soon as possible. Stan x'

I only realise I have put a kiss on there after I have sent it. Shit, I was so used to texting Wendy. Oh well, I'm sure he will get the picture. I head towards my dads car and start the engine up. I couldn't afford my own car, so had to borrow dads, but at least I could drive unlike Kyle. I get held up on the way because some idiot decides to back into the street light and get taken away in an ambulance. Inconsiderate. I pull up next to where Bebe is screaming her head off at some little boy, who is pointing at Kenny and laughing. Kenny doesn't seem to care in the slightest, and is rolling around on the floor, wiping blood on the concrete from a nasty gash on his hand.

"What the hell is going on?" I shout as I get out of the car. The little kid takes one look at me and runs off back to his mom. He looked a bit like Cartman did when he was little; fat with a chicken wing in one hand. That was about as far as the description goes.

"Thank you so much." Bebe runs to hug me and I push her off. It was hardly the time for greetings now.

"What's happened?" I persist.

"I got called to come and collect him." She informs me. "They said he turned up drunk."

"Kenny hardly ever gets drunk." I stress and we both look over to where he has hauled himself up and is smacking a broken chain off the wall. "Stop it!" I grab his hood and drag him away from the wall. He swings around in a panic, flailing his hand as the chain lashes me across the face.

Pain encases me in a diagonal line from eye to my mouth. Kenny stumbles back in confusion, dropping the chain to the floor. I yell out, holding my hand up to my face and Bebe runs over to me.

"Stan are you ok?" She gasps, as I move my hand. Her eyes widen when she sees my face properly. "Shit!"

"What?" I mumble, I could feel blood in my mouth and it dribbles down my chin when I try to talk. Bebe holds up a pocket mirror and I stare into it, seeing my face bruised and bleeding. Luckily I haven't lost any teeth, although my mouth appeared to be drenched in blood, along with my nose that was also dripping with it. My right eye is half closed; the lid puffy with a black circle underneath it. "Kenny, you fucking bastard!" I yell, blood spewing out of my mouth as I run to punch him. Bebe has enough strength to pull me backwards, grabbing my arm to prevent me from beating him up. It looked like he had already been in a fight, because he too had a black eye along with the cut on his hand.

"Stan, I'm sorry." Kenny holds up his hands, sliding down the wall in a drunken mess.

"Look what you've done!" Bebe yells at him and he starts to wallow in self pity. Punching the wall and bruising his knuckles. "Stop it! Stop it both of you!" She screams. "I don't want to have to call anyone else."

I stop thrusting my body forward and Kenny slowly begins to stop harming himself. You would have thought residents would help us, but instead they were all looking at us in disgust, pulling their children away from the scene.

"Stan, help me get Kenny in the car." She begs, my head felt as if it had been split open.

"What about helping me get in the car?" I yell at her.

"Stop talking, blood is going everywhere." She orders and we both dash over to pull up Kenny. I can only half see so I let Bebe guide us over. We push him in the back and I climb in the passenger seat before thinking properly.

"Wait, are you safe to drive this car?" I splutter.

"My car is over there." She points to the other side of the parking lot. "But it means we will have to get Kenny into that instead."

"Risk it." I mutter, holding my hand out to catch the blood. I rooted around in the car door for any tissues but there was no sign of any. "Hell's Pass."

"Are you sure?" She asks.

"Do I look like I can just wander into my house?" I respond, angrily and she starts up the engine as I pass her the keys. "Drive fast."

"I'm already driving an unknown car." She retorts. "I'm not gonna get us fucking killed."

"I'm gonna pass out." I tell her as I suddenly go really dizzy.

"Snap!" Kenny pipes up from the back. I wanted to jump on top of him and smash his face in but I knew this wasn't the time. Bebe carefully pulls out onto the main road that links Denver with South Park. I swear she was deliberately going slowly just to piss me off.

"Put your foot down." I spit and some blood drools out of my mouth and on to her skirt.

"Ahh!" She screeches, hitting the brake with such force that we go skidding off to the side. Several cars beep us and people yell out of their window. We crash into the fence at the side of the road, lucky that we weren't half a mile on where the drop is about fifty meters in depth. Pain shoots up my arm as the windscreen shatters and a shard of glass flies into it. Kenny groans, unsure about what is going on as the car skids to a halt.

"Bebe!" I shout at her. "You crashed the fucking car because I got some blood on your skirt?"

"No!" She gasps, as if having a panic attack. Jeez, she needed to grow up. "Hurts!"

"What?" I hiss, my hand over my mouth so that I don't spew over her again.

"Ow!" She grabs her stomach. "Hurts."

"Oh for fucks sake, would you look at my face?" I question her. "And then take a look at your boyfriend in the back?" This seemed to be Kenny's cue to puke all over the back seat of the car. This was actually the worst day of my life. I was sat in a car accident, with a slashed face, Bebe whining and Kenny completely splashed and vomiting in the back.

"Stan, my stomach really hurts!" She manages to stammer. Ok, now I was concerned, she actually looked in serious pain.

"Well what the fuck are we supposed to do?" I ask them both. "I'll have to drive, swap seats."

"I'll drive." Kenny cheerfully chimes in.

"No you fucking won't, you'll stay put." I point at him and he grins at me. But when I stand up, I feel so dizzy, I knew if I tried to drive, we would probably crash again. Bebe didn't look like an option any time soon either. I pull out of my phone and dial the number.

"911, what's your emergency?" A woman picks up and Bebe looks at me in panic, still grasping her stomach.

"Hi, my name is Stan Marsh, I've just been in a car accident on the AA14 with two other people." I inform her.

"Ok, is anyone badly injured?" She questions.

"We are all in a bad way." I explain. "My friend was drunk beforehand and we got in a fight so we were on the way to the hospital. Then my other friend seems to be in severe pain, I don't really know why."

"Ok, we'll send an ambulance immediately." She replies calmly. "Will you be needing the fire services."

"I fucking hope not." I curse and there is a pause on the other end of the line.

"Alright, Sir emergency services are on their way." She tells me. "You all need to stay in the vehicle until they arrive ok? I repeat, stay in the vehicle."

My neck aches from whip-lash but I manage to turn my head. The back end of the car was smashed up where it had hit a wall and the window was shattered on the back right, which was luckily the side Kenny was not on. There was a large hole in the windscreen however, and there was also a small cut across Bebe's forehead where a piece of glass had caught it. Her worst injury was a burn on her neck from where the seat belt had clearly cut into it when we crashed. But she didn't seem to care about anything but her stomach.

"I really hate simulators." Kenny moans.

"We're not in a simulator Kenny, we are in a car accident." I snap.

"Sorry?" The woman mumbles.

"Nothing, I was talking to someone else." I respond as Bebe starts whining again.

"Has the driver been drinking?" She interrogates me.

"Not that I know of." I say as I hear a siren in the distance. "The piss head is in the back."

"If you could refrain from using that type of language sir." She orders. Was that all she cared about right now? I hang up the phone as soon as two ambulances and a police car appears. Paramedics are instantly running over to help us. I roll down the window.

"Hi sir." One man greets me. "Can I ask for you name please?"

"Stan Marsh." I tell him. "Bebe, it's going to be ok now."

"And your name?" He turns to Kenny, who is making patterns in his vomit.

"Mysterion!" He exclaims excitedly and the man frowns.

"His name is Kenny McCormick." I tell him.

"Is he drunk or concussed?" He asks me.

"Maybe both." I reply. He doesn't bother asking for Bebe's name as he can see she is fully conscious from all the screaming. He opens the car door and undoes my seat belt, another paramedic coming over to examine my face. I watch as Bebe is pulled from the car. "Is she ok?" I call over to the man.

"Sir if you would just look this way." The paramedic orders.

"But I need to know if she is ok." I panic. She doesn't appear to be able to walk very well as she is being carried over to an ambulance.

"They will take care of her." The woman tells me, opening my mouth and shining a torch in it. "Did you injure your face prior to the accident?"

"Yeah." I nod, thinking quick. "Um, I accidentally hit myself with a chain."

"Hit yourself?" She questions.

"Yeah." I lie. "I was trying to help my friend and I accidentally whacked myself in the face with it."

"Right ok." She gets a cloth and applies some liquid to my face that makes the cuts sting like hell. She then turns to my arm, carefully removing the shard of glass. "This happened during the accident?"

"Yes, the windscreen smashed." I stated the obvious and she did the same to the gash just below my elbow. I wanted to yell out in pain but I was too busy worrying about Bebe, who had been taken off in the ambulance. I turn to see Kenny, sat on a chair with a bottle of water. He seemed the least damaged of us all, with just some puke staining his hoodie, a bruised cheek and the same black eye he had beforehand. I watch as they bandage up the cut on his hand, trying to talk some sense into him as he lolls around.

"Ok, Stan?" Another man comes over to join us. "We're going to take you to hospital because we need to get your face looked over and a check up to see everything internally is alright."

"Fine." I mutter, my wounds still stinging from the liquid.

"Are you ok to share an ambulance with your friend Kenny?" He inquires. No. Kenny was the last person I wanted to see right now and I just saved him from getting into trouble. "Yeah sure."

The drive to the hospital is pure hell; with Kenny moaning on about aliens and light sabers and fair ground rides. "You do know your girlfriend is in serious trouble?" I inform him and receive a glare off the female paramedic.

"Don't distress him Stan." She snaps. "He's traumatized enough as it is."

"He's not traumatized, he's wasted!" I exclaim. "What about Karen, Kenny? What do you think she'll say about this?"

He begins to cry at the mention of his sisters name and then I feel bad; Kenny went out of his way to protect Karen. "I'm sorry Stan." He whimpers and I knew what he was referring to; the chain incident. I would have to wait until he was sober to tell him that I lied, until then I had to distract him from telling the truth.

"It's fine Kenny." I shut him up. "Let's just all calm down."

Once we finally arrive at Hell's Pass hospital, we are unloaded from the ambulance and put into wheelchairs. Why we needed to be pushed around, I didn't know. It wasn't like the accident had caused loss of limbs or anything. My cell begins to ring as we arrive at reception.

"Stan, where the hell are you?" I hear Kyle's voice. "Why did you leave me in the theatre?"

"That needs to be turned off in here please." The receptionist points at me.

"Kyle, I'm at the hospital, I've been in a car accident with Bebe and Kenny." I tell him as quick as possible. "Tell Wendy and my parents to get to Hell's Pass."

I hang up before the receptionist can yell at me again and I turn my phone off abruptly.

"It's amazing what a few shots of vodka can do." Kenny slurs, as if it is funny. I was going to kill him when we were out of here, I was going to completely _kill_ him.


	18. Bad News

**Chapter 17:**

 _ **A/N: Hope the last chapter wasn't too much to take in!**_

 **Kyle PoV**

Wendy had come to meet me at the movies and I had called Stan's parents before ordering a taxi to the hospital. Wendy was in a complete panic; pale as a ghost and virtually crying. The taxi pulls up outside Hell's Pass and I thank him, putting ten dollars in his hand.

"It'll be fine Wendy, honestly." I tell her. "Stan sounded alright on the phone. A bit shaken up but, at least he is conscious."

"What about Bebe and Kenny?" She frets. "There's no news on them."

I bite my lip anxiously, Stan was my main priority, the other's weren't as much of a concern to me, as long as they were ok of course.

"Hi my name is Kyle Broflovski." I greet the receptionist. "We had news that Stan Marsh, Bebe Stevens and Kenny McCormick had been brought here following a car accident."

"Are you a relative?" She asks, stubbornly.

"I'm Stan's girlfriend." Wendy informs her and I feel a pang inside of me.

"Very well." She nods. "You go with her. Stan is in room thirteen, first floor along with Kenny."

"Thank you." I smile and follow Wendy as she practically runs up the stairs. We walk along what seems like a never ending corridor until we reach room thirteen. We both gasp when we see Stan, lying in bed, as if someone had clawed his face off. Kenny was in the bed next to him, holding a bowl on his lap and gagging constantly.

"Stan!" Wendy yells and runs over to hug him. "What the hell happened? How did you do that to your face?"

"It doesn't matter." He quietens her. "What matters is that everyone is ok."

"Where's Bebe?" I ask Kenny, but he just frowns at the mention of her name. Wow, he must be really concussed.

"He's drunk." Stan tells me, as if reading my mind.

"Was he driving?" Wendy cries, pointing aggressively to Kenny.

"No." Stan replies. "Bebe was, she's on the floor above but I don't know anymore than that."

"Well is she ok?" Wendy stresses, smoothing Stan's hair back.

"I don't know." Stan sighs. "She didn't look too great."

"Neither do you." She peers down at his face. "You look terrible."

"Thanks..." Stan drones, sarcastically. "At least I'm alive."

 **Cartman PoV**

"Poopsikins, mommy needs to have a little chat with you." Mom enters the room with her high pitched trill.

"Meem, I can't see the TV." I whine, why did she always have to be so irritating?

"This is important Hun. I have some bad news." She clicks it off and I give a slight wail. "Your little friends have been taken into hospital today."

"What friends?" I groan.

"Well, Stan, Bebe and Kenny have been in a car accident." She tells me softly.

"So what's the bad news? The fact that Kyle wasn't in it too?" I state.

"...I know it is very difficult to take in." She begins to reassure me.

"Who died? Was it Kenny? Because I'm not going to his funeral, they'll probably use a cardboard box as his coffin." I ramble on. "I suppose it would be good if it was Stan because then Kyle would be without his butt buddy for the rest of his life."

"No one died Eric." She puts a hand on my shoulder and I shake it off.

"Fucks sake." I grumble, that sucked. That meant I still had to murder them all myself, no accidental deaths to cover it up.

"Do you want some sugar donut surprise to make you feel better?" She asks.

"...No." I wince, which was one of the hardest things to do.

"Maybe some chicken pot pie?"

"No."

"Cheesy poofs?"

"No."

"I can order some southern fried chicken."

Seriously mother, you are breaking my balls here.

"Fucks sake mom no!" I yell.

"...Wow, you must be taking the news hard Hun." She smooths down her hair. "Let me know if you need anything."

I must be taking the news hard? Why? Because I didn't want some food. Is this seriously what my life has come to? I was being so strong and then everything just gets thrown back in my face. I was still being jibed at for my weight when I wasn't eating a thing. My stomach felt like a black hole, I constantly had head aches and I got dizzy every time I tried to stand up. For what? For people to continue making assumptions about me. Even my own mother! She hadn't even picked up on the fact that I had stopped eating.

Well I was going to show her, I was going to show everyone. I was going to be skinny, like all the popular boys and girls. Like all the guys that women wanted to date, that they fall in love with. I just wish I could look like those celebrities that people drool over. I wish I was toned and had a six pack. I didn't want to look like a six pack of _bread rolls_ walking around constantly.

They could laugh at me now, but I was going to lose weight if it was the last thing I did.

 **Bebe PoV**

Once the cramping had stopped in my stomach, I was allowed to rest. I was absolutely shattered and my neck burned from where the seat belt had caught it after the crash. There was no way I was going to be able to sleep, but at least I wasn't still having scans like I was half an hour ago.

I had no idea what had happened, or what had caused it. The doctors were saying the most likely outcome is kidney stones, which doesn't sound too exciting... Either way, I was hoping that I wouldn't be stuck in this dump for much longer.

My thoughts are interrupted when there is a soft knock at the door and Wendy enters. I have my own private room with just a nurse sitting at the computer in the corner.  
"Hiya." Wendy greets. "How are you feeling?"

"Top of the world." I joke and she sits down on the eve of my bed. "You should be with Stan."

"I've seen him." She tells me. "He looks disgusting, what the hell happened?"

"It was all just a massive mistake." I sigh. "It's all Kenny's fault really, drunken idiot."

"Why has he been drinking?" She asks.

"Oh, I don't know, I didn't really get chance to ask him between seeing him flailing a hammer around and crashing Randy's car into a fence." I snap and she looks slightly taken aback. "I'm sorry I dragged Stan into it though."

"It's fine." She squeezes my hand as two doctors enter, carrying a clip board.

"Bebe?" He introduces himself and I nod. "We've had a look at the results of the scan."

"It's kidney stones isn't it?" I interrupt, saving him the lecture. "What are they? Do I have to have an operation or..."

"It's not kidney stones." He tells me. "It's Braxton Hicks."

"Oh thank God!" I exclaim, giving Wendy a hug, but her eyes widen in shock. "...What is that?"

"...Misleading contractions." He states and I frown.

"I'm not very good at science, can you elaborate?" I scoff, why did they all look so serious? This was worrying me now.

"There has got to be a mistake, doctor." Wendy stands up. "Bebe's not-"

"I'm not what?" I cut in.

"Miss Stevens..." The other doctor pipes up quietly. "Are you aware that you are four months pregnant?"

I watch as the words slip out of her mouth, cascading in a waterfall of sympathy. My heart stops beating for a second and Wendy covers her mouth with her hand.

"...Haha..." I give a fake laugh, my eyes darting from one individual to the next. "That's funny..."

"It's not a joke." He responds and I just stare at him for a few seconds. Pregnant? _Pregnant?_ That was impossible...

"You're making it up!" I yell, leaping out of bed and snatching his clipboard away. "It's just stomach cramps, nothing serious, that's all."

"We picked up a heartbeat." He explains, showing me a picture of the scan. It was black and white with what looked like a misshapen potato lodged in the middle. Was this actually happening? Were they serious? They couldn't be serious... "We'll leave you to process the information." Is all he says before exiting with the other doctor. I stare at Wendy, who is still in disbelief, then throw the photograph down on the floor and stamp on it as if throwing a tantrum.

"What am I going to do?" I croak, my throat suddenly sore. "I just..."

"Just, give it a moment to sink in." Wendy holds her hand up, pacing round. She wasn't exactly the best support ever; she looked as if she was on death row. At least she wasn't knocked up by a drunk like me. Kenny. Shit.

"How am I going to tell Kenny?" I look at her in alarm.

"...I wouldn't, just yet." She bites her lip.

"What do you mean?" I persist, getting annoyed at her ignorance. "I'm not going to abort it without telling him."

"You're going to abort it?" She spins around, her eyes wide. Finally, a reaction.

"Well I don't know." I shrug, feeling surprisingly calm about the matter. "It depends how Kenny feels... If it's not too late that is... What's the latest you can have an abortion?"

"What if it's not Kenny's?" She blurts out.

"...Well it has to be because me and Kenny have been together exactly four months." I tell her, watching her face fall.

"Exactly!" She exclaims, wringing her hands.

"So it can't be anyone else's." I inform her, I thought she was supposed to be smart.

"...You slept with Clyde the night you and Kenny got together." She sighs, turning her back on me and pacing again. My heart stops for a second time as I search my brain for any memories of four months ago. Kenny and I had got together at Jason's party, I had slept with him that night and no one else since.

"No I didn't." I laugh.

"You did." She argues. "You got really drunk that night and you had sex with Clyde. You clearly didn't seem to remember because only Clyde and I knew the next day. We didn't want to tell either of you."

"WHY?" I suddenly yell at her.

"Because Clyde is scared Kenny will beat him up and I didn't want to break down your relationship." Wendy holds her hands up in defence. "...But hey, I'm sure it's _not_ Clyde's."

Oh yeah, thanks Wendy, thanks a bunch.


	19. Hangover Hell

**Chapter 18:**

 **Kenny PoV**

It felt as if someone had drilled my skull in half. Extreme, but true. Everything hurt; my eye was bruised, my hand was sore and my body ached all over. But do you know what the most unfortunate thing was? I was the only one of the three of us who was discharged from hospital last night, meaning that I had to go to school today. Whilst both Bebe and Stan lay in bed. Granted, they weren't in the most comfortable beds ever, but at least they didn't have to endure lessons with the worst hangover imaginable.

I had stumbled into my house at about two in the morning, Kyle had got me a taxi home and had helped me to bed. Apart from that, there was very little I could actually remember. I knew we had been in a car accident. Why? I didn't know. I also know that I was completely wasted and that is about as far as my memory stretches. I suppose the only other people who know the full story are the two people still at Hell's Pass, so I would have to go a day unknowing until visiting hours later on. I only had a severely cut hand and a black eye as a record for the happenings, which I'm sure a lot of people will be commenting on when I get to school. Problem was, they weren't going to get many answers out of me...

I was tempted to just skip school today; drink my body weight in water and stay in bed. I didn't know what was stopping me, my parents wouldn't care in the slightest if I didn't attend lessons. But there was part of me which knew I had to stick at it, keep going strong, even though I was unlikely to soak up anything today.

I must look a complete wreck, stumbling into school, I had managed to change my hoodie so it was no longer covered in puke, but apart from that, I had no chance to shower. Therefore, I probably stank of alcohol and sweat and hospitals, which I'm sure wouldn't be a nice perfume for the people sat next to me in class today.

Like the news about Kyle and Sian was a few days back, the events of last night was already the hot topic spreading around the school. I notice a few Raisins girls giggling at me as I pass down the corridor, but it is when I see Kyle's grave expression that I know something is up. He hands me the newspaper; I have made the front page.

" _Drunken hardware store employee manages to provide customer entertainment through the bottom of a bottle._ " I read out loud, but slowly because everything seems blurred. Wow, they were really sensitive with these headlines. " _Three teenagers were involved in a car accident yesterday on the road connecting Denver and South Park, following a showdown from employee Kenny McCormick outside his work place. Witnesses claim Mr McCormick arrived at work drunk and refused to obey orders. After being located by friend Stan Marsh and girlfriend Bebe Stevens, a fight broke out between the two boys, which resulted in serious facial injuries. Journalist David Johnson reports that the car was being driven approximately fifteen minutes after the incident, by the female teenager; Bebe Stevens, who lost control of the car after suffering sudden stomach cramps. Further news on her injuries have not yet been reported, but Stan Marsh appears to have serious bruising on his face after claiming he allegedly hit himself with a broken chain from a shopping cart_."

"Well... You achieved fame is all I will say." Kyle takes the paper off me when I have finished reading and I bury my head in my hands.

"How do they even know this?" I stutter. "How do they even know our names? It's not like we had time for a quick chat with the journalist."

"They know everything Kenny." Kyle laughs, as if it is funny. I was totally humiliated, I looked like a douche-bag and my best friend and girlfriend were still in hospital because of my ' _customer entertainment_ '. I didn't see how that was funny in the slightest. I re-read the article and some memories begin to return to me. I did remember waving hammer around and collapsing on the floor. I remember Bebe calling Stan and us having a fight but I could not recall him hitting himself with a chain. In fact I remember me clutching onto it as it was ripped off the shopping cart. Yes, it was when I had fallen down...

"Oh shit." I put my hands over my face again. "I hit Stan with the chain."

"You what?" Kyle sounds surprised.

"I remember, vaguely, he tried to pull me away and I accidentally swung it round his face." I groan.

"Have you seen his face?" Kyle gives me a slight shake. "Have you seen what you have done to him?"

"I can't really remember that part..." I sigh and root through the paper for any pictures of Bebe or Stan. There was just a picture of me rolling around on the floor outside the shop, on the front cover. With a smaller image of me throwing up into a bowl after the accident in the right hand corner.

"You're an idiot." Kyle tells me angrily. "You know that?"

"Yes." I reply bluntly as he begins to walk off towards homeroom.

 **Wendy PoV**

There was no doubt in my mind that Cartman would be broadcasting last night's events in the morning announcements. Not that it would matter particularly; the newspaper article had already been spread around school and stuck up on several notice boards. I was just glad there were no pictures of my boyfriends smashed up face on there; I would look like his primary carer now, not the love of his life. Screw Romeo and Juliet, now it was Frankenstein and the Creature.

My thoughts were stopped by the familiar prod of Clyde's finger on my spine.

"I hear the boyfriend is banged up." He smirks, he was supposedly friends with Stan, why was he finding it so funny? God I hated him. I was not playing Godmother if Bebe's child was his...

"He's not in _jail_ Clyde." I spit back. "He's in hospital."

"Probably screwing Bebe as we speak." He hisses, just as Kenny and Kyle enter the room. Everyone shuts up at this point and stares at him.

"Oh yeah, let's all stare at Kenny." Kenny imitates, slowly walking over and slumping down in his chair next to me. He stank of a mixture of sickening substances, I was pretty certain he hasn't showered.

"Good morning South Park High." A familiar voice piped up. "These are the morning announcements and _I_ am Eric Cartman."

"Here we go..." Kenny drones, burying his head in his hands.

"Today lunch is food, Mr Mackey needs to see anyone who went on the choir trip last week and there will be a bake sale somewhere at some point today." He rushes, wow, how informative... "Now that's over with, I thought I would read a story to you all. It is a non-fiction article about events based on a true story. As I'm sure you all know, Harrison's Hardware's was the stage for Kenny McCormick's little show last night. Following in his redneck parent's steps, he was pissed on vodka and-"

"For fucks sake." Kenny suddenly storms out of the room. I glance at Kyle as if to say 'who's going to go after him' and he just shrugs so I take the responsibility.

"Ken?" I call when I am out in the corridor. "Where are you going?"

"I'm leaving." He yells back as I run over to him.

"Ok, well why don't you just go home? Take a shower..." I hint. "Eat some decent food."

"Decent food?" He spins around. "My family don't get ' _decent food_ '. We have to live off charity and food banks and scraps out of trash cans. No, I think I'll go somewhere with a warmer welcome."

He disappears before I can say anything else. What did he mean by a 'warmer welcome'? Either way, I wasn't going to chase him, he was virtually an adult now, he could take care of himself... Well obviously not... But it wasn't my place to intrude.

 **Stan PoV**

Aside from the fact that my face ached like hell, I was ready to get out of this place. I hated hospitals, with a passion, ever since I was a little kid. White walls, white floors, white bed sheets, white everything. It drowned me in brightness.

"Stan! Baby!" My mom suddenly yells as she runs into the room, followed by my dad. She hesitates before kissing me on the forehead, her eyes wide with panic. Apparently I mattered so much to them, because they couldn't visit me last night, as they had booked a table at a restaurant. "What the hell has happened to you? We were so worried! Are you feeling ok? I'm sorry we couldn't come any sooner."

Shut the hell up. "I'm fine." I reply, bluntly.

"Yeah, well I'm not." Dad reaches my bed side. "The vending machine isn't working."

"...Nice to see you too." I respond, he was a complete asshole sometimes.

"You'd think they'd check it was working wouldn't you? I mean, what about the visitors who are here for hours on end? What are they supposed to eat? ...Mmm, chocolates." He immediately helps himself to my stash of chocolate that people have brought or sent to me.

"When can I get out of here?" I ask, sitting myself up and ignoring my father.

"Soon baby, when the swelling has gone down." She strokes my hair and I slap her hand away.

"Is there a bar in here?" My dad finishes munching on his fifth chocolate and looks around hopefully.

"...It's a hospital." I drone.

"So, folks in here could use a drink." He points at the old man who appeared to be dying in the bed in the right hand corner of the room. "Hey, Stan, there's a great chance for business here."

"What, like _Blockbuster_?" I retort. "Was that a good chance for business too?"

"Oh come on Stan, you've got to admit we had the time of our lives running that place." He exclaims and I raise my eyebrows.

"We didn't though." I argue.

"But we did."

"We really didn't."

"...But we kind of did."

" _No,_ we did not." I finalise and he just shrugs, taking another chocolate from the box. If he could just keep going, maybe he would die from sugar intake. I smile at the thought. Jesus, why was I so psychotic today?

"Chicken wings." Dad ponders and I exchange a look with mom.

"Is he drunk?" I ask her, it wouldn't surprise me.

"Is he ever sober?" She gives a slight laugh.

"Stan Marsh?" A nurse suddenly appears at my beside. "We've had the approval from your doctor that it is ok for you to be discharged."

"Thank fuck." I mutter, hauling myself out of bed as soon as possible.

"But you need to take it easy for a while." She ushers.

"Ok, chill out." I reply, putting my coat on and pulling my hat as far down my face as possible. "I only have a few cuts and bruises, it's not like I'm HIV positive or anything."

"Stan, are you ok with us driving home?" Mom stresses, picking up my things. "I know the thought must be very traumatic for you."

"As long as dad's not driving." I state, warily and they follow me out of the shiny hospital room. Man they pissed me off. I couldn't wait to get home, close my bedroom door and shut everything out to play video games.


	20. The Biggest News Ever

**Chapter 19:**

 _ **A/N: Apologies, I thought I had uploaded this chapter a few days ago, so there will be two updates coming in now!**_

 **Bebe PoV**

Why did she crash the car? Was the question toying on everyone's minds. I could tell by the confused looks that were aimed at me as I walk down the corridor. That was a question which I now could answer, but wasn't going to. I wouldn't dare, at least until I believed it myself.

I was still in denial, despite throwing my guts up the last two mornings. I didn't understand how, because I had been surviving on water whilst I had been in hospital. Eating was the last thing I wanted to do right now. Especially as I would be putting on weight soon, whether I liked it or not... Unless I got rid of it. That would be the simple option. But I would have to talk to Kenny first, if I could bring myself to do it.

There were so many thoughts spinning round my mind, I don't notice Wendy, beckoning me over from the toilet door.

"Bebe?" She hisses as I finally snap back to Earth. I follow her into the toilets and await the lecture. "You'll never guess what."

"What?" I reply, bluntly.

"Lola and Bridon have broken up." She grins and I check her once over to see if she was serious. A week ago, this would have been big news in my boring little life, but did she really think I cared at this moment in time?

"...Believe it or not Wendy." I address her. "I have bigger concerns right now than Bridon Gueermo's love life."

"Yeah well, that's not all." She shushes me. "Yesterday, Lola went to science club."

"Science club?" I blurt out without thinking.  
"...Oh wait, I don't care."

"Course you do!" She exclaims. "Science club! That one run by Kevin Stoley? It's like the biggest news ever!"

"And you are going to have the biggest slap ever if you don't shut up." I retort. "What am I supposed to do?"

"About what?" She frowns, as if she had forgotten over the course of two days.

"This..." I point to my stomach and a look of recognition appears in her eyes. Ding ding, ten points to Testaburger.

"Oh..." She trails off. "Yeah, I'm sorry. I um... I don't know, what do you want to do?"

"You haven't told anyone have you?" I ask and she shakes her head quickly.

"No one." She replies. "I wouldn't tell anyone that, I am just the messenger for shitty news like Lola and Bridon."

"...I thought that was the ' _biggest news ever_ '!" I imitate and she gives me a look.

"Any thoughts on what you are going to do yet?" She changes the subject.

"Pretend it doesn't exist." I laugh. "Carry on as if everything is ok, or I can at least try."

"But it's not going to go away, is it?" She prompts. "You need to tell Kenny and Clyde at some point."

"Clyde?" I virtually spit. "I'm not telling _Clyde_ anything."

"Well it might be his baby." She argues.

"I don't care." I yell, heading towards the door. "I don't want anything to do with Clyde, ever."

I storm out, collecting myself quickly before heading back down the corridor. I feel Wendy's grip on my arm after five seconds.

"You can pretend." She whispers and I don't bother turning around. "You can carry on as if everything is fine. But it's not. It's not going to be anymore. Ok? You need to accept that. The longer you deny it, the more time you are wasting and it's not going to be long before that baby starts to grow."

"Shut up." I shout at her and rip my arm away. A few freshmen turn to stare at us. "Just shut up and stop pretending you know everything."

"You're the one pretending." She raises her voice and I start walking again. "You can't stop the fingers from growing or heart from beating. No matter how hard you try."

I virtually run round the corner, shutting her words out until I collapse against the wall in an empty classroom. The tears begin to fall instantly and I roll the bottom of my shirt up to stuff in my mouth so that no one can hear me wail. I rock back and forth, one hand on my now naked stomach, as if rocking the life inside of me. It was living inside of me. I was its mother. It was completely dependent on me right now and I was either going to give it a chance or destroy it.

 **Cartman PoV**

Lunchtime. The word that had been the answer to my prayers for the last sixteen years of my life. The word that I whispered whilst staring at the clock on the wall in Mr Garrison's room. The word which filled me with happiness... Did fill me with happiness.

I had spent the last few weeks hiding out in the toilets. Surprisingly, none of my friends had noticed I had stopped eating with them in the canteen. The teachers had of course, but no one else seemed to care. So I sat over the toilet bowl, staring into the glassy surface of the water. Curled up into a ball to stop the stomach cramps.

I couldn't do that again today though, I felt sick every time I entered the room; another hour of clenching my fist to make the cravings stop. Sometimes I would bang my head against the wall, punishing myself if I began to give in, knowing I could just walk in and order a plate of fries. Had people noticed the bruises? No. Not even my mother. But I suppose Stan's face was more of a priority right now.

I take a left when I get to the corner instead of waddling back into the boys toilets. I can feel the draft from the cold weather outside before I hit the double doors. It is refreshing, why didn't I do this every day? I just needed to find someone to hang out with so I wasn't a loner. My usual group and pretty much all of the seniors would be in the canteen eating and chatting right now, but a few of the cliches who were more... individual sat outside here. I look right to see the 'ugly kids' sat on the steps leading up the the gym, sucking on juice box's and staring aimlessly out into the distance. I could go and sit with them... But then again, I had standards; I wasn't Kyle.

On my left sat the goth kids, slumped at the bottom of another staircase. They had their heavy metal music booming out of some speakers and appeared to be reading some sort of poetry. I took a step towards them but immediately retreated. I had standards; I wasn't Stan.

The only other group I recognised was a squad of Raisin's girls, leaning up against a brick wall round the back of the building. They were taking slow puffs out of their cigarettes and trying to catch a tan from the small ray of sunlight that reflected off the snow. They didn't seem as bad as Bebe's group; they were more laid back and not as bitchy. It was them or nothing.

"Um... Hi." I wave as I approach them hesitantly. Lexus, the leader of the group turns to look at me, throwing her cigarette on the floor and crushing it with her shoe.

"Ten for a kiss, forty for a hand job and sixty for a blow job." Mercedes walks over to me.

"We now do gift vouchers too!" Portia exclaims, holding up a pink strip of paper.

"...What?" I mumble, ok they were weirder than I thought.

"First time?" Mercedes smiles at me, taking my arm. "We can give you a newcomers deal then."

"Newcomers deal?" I frown.

"There's no need to be nervous!" She giggles. "We'll put you in the hands of Ferrari, she's the best with the new clients."

"I'm not here for... That." I hold my hands up and they all stare at me intently.

"Shit, he works for the cops." Portia covers her mouth with her hand and they all give a slight squeal.

"Guys, he doesn't work for the cops." Lexus finally pipes up, strolling over to me and eyeing me up and down. "Eric Cartman? What do you want?"

"I just... Wanted to chill with you guys for a bit." I stutter, already very intimidated by them.

"Chill?" Mercedes repeats, exchanging a look with Ferrari who has also joined in. "Why?"

"Because you guys seem cool." I shrug.

"...You don't have any friends?" Lexus raises an eyebrow.

"I do! I do!" I object. "I'm friends with Butters."

"So... You don't have any friends then." Mercedes drones. Well they had humour, I could give them that.

"Look, I just need somewhere to hang around at lunchtimes and I don't want to have to sit with the goths or ugly kids so I wondered if I could stand with you." I tell them and there is a long pause.

"Yeah, ok." Lexus ponders. "You can be our bodyguard."

"Yeah sure..." I respond, knowing it was because I was fat but I was going to take anything I could get.

"There is one thing you need to know though." She continues. "We are awesome at sucking cock and we don't eat anything. Ever. Just smoke cigarettes."

"...Sounds good to me." I mumble.

"You may have to be our tester for if we have any new techniques too." Portia chips in.

"...Even better." I beam, they actually seemed alright. They hand me a packet of cigarettes and I take one cautiously. I hadn't ever smoked in my life, but apparently it was good for weight loss, so, I was prepared to give it a go. They light the tip of it and I raise it to my lips carefully. Just like in the movies Cartman, just like in the movies. I take a long drag of the cigarette as casually as possible. Ok, this was pretty easy... "Yak, yak, ehem!" I start spluttering as the smoke hits the back of my throat.

"...You're a first timer at a lot of things aren't you?" Mercedes observes me.

"That is hell." I point at the cigarette when the coughing has died down.

"Ah, you get used to it after a while." Lexus puts her arm around me and leads me over to the wall. This was easier than I thought, minus the suffocation... I could get used to this.

 **Kyle PoV**

"Stan, will you listen to me?" I whine, exasperatedly again. "No one is staring at you."

"Sure..." He mutters, looking self-consciously around him as we exit the school gates. I flip off a group of giggling sophomore girls who are staring his way. "You don't have to fight my corner Kyle. Don't ruin your dignity sticking up for me."

"You'll be home in a few minutes." I sigh. "Besides, I don't think I have any dignity left after the whole incident last week."

"People have forgotten about that now." He replies. "I told you they would."

"Yeah well I'm glad." I smile at him. "Although I'm obviously not glad of the other circumstances that are the reason for that being forgotten."

"Same here." He points to his face.

"You look fine." I laugh. "Perfect, in fact."

Wait what?

"...I mean, that sounded weird..." I blush, staring down at the floor. Why the fuck had I said that? Why couldn't I ever just stay cool? I kept saying or doing really weird things around him... He must think I was becoming really fucked up.

"...It's cool." He mumbles and I raise my head to see he is also staring at the floor, a look of confusion on his face. Score Kyle, you just made things fucking awkward again.

"So..." I attempt to change the subject. "You gonna go out and play ball tonight?"

"Do I look like I'm gonna play ball?" He snaps suddenly and I take a step back. He immediately looks apologetic. "Sorry, sorry."

"No, my fault, I... Didn't think." I stutter quietly and we walk in silence for a while, neither of us daring to say anything to the other. "...So what will you do tonight?"

"Probably just sit in my room." He drones. "It's the only thing I enjoy doing, except for football."

"What just sit in your room?" I question, treading on eggshells.

"Yeah, sometimes I play video games." He shrugs. "But then I just get bored of them so I just don't end up doing anything."

"Sounds fun..." I mutter. I appreciated he was pretty self-conscious right now and that he must be shaken up after the crash, but he had been in a bad mood for weeks. I grit my teeth and asked the question I hated to ask. "Are you going to see Wendy tonight?"

He just shrugs. "Probably not, she is most likely with Craig."

"Why would Wendy be with Craig Tucker?" I pull a face at the thought.

"Search me." He groans. "Some project or something..."

"Right..." I give up making conversation.

"She's probably just screwing him." He doesn't seem to care in the slightest.

"Stan, he's gay." I point out.

"Bisexual." He corrects me. "Tweek is gay."

"Ok well, he's with Tweek then." I swallow. "And you are with Wendy, she loves you."

Ouch. A sharp pain shoots down my chest.

"Yeah, suppose." We reach his house and he waves me off without making eye contact. Jesus he was in a bad way, maybe there was more to it than just a facial injury. Perhaps there was problems at home or something... Mind you, the Marsh's were the closest family, minus Shelly, I knew his parents loved him with everything they had. But they had spilt once, come to think of it, Stan had been in a very similar mood when they had divorced in fourth grade. Always pessimistic about everything, constantly down and isolated... No, I was sure everything was fine, he was probably just confused after the accident...


	21. Grounded

**Chapter 20:**

 **Stan PoV**

I put my phone back on snooze and roll over onto my side. I was cutting it very fine if I wanted to get to school, the bus was leaving in fifteen minutes. But I didn't care, I was not in the mood for being ripped on again, or seeing my 'friends' or doing math.

"Stan, are you still not up yet?" Shelly's nasal voice rings out as my bedroom door flies open. "Mom, Stan's not out of bed!"

"Shut up Shelly." I spit. "Make yourself useful and go to the job centre."

"Mom, Stan's making jokes about my brace again." She lies and mom appears at the door.

"Stan, why aren't you up?" She screeches. "You shouldn't make fun of Shelly's brace."

"Yeah besides, your face is fucked up too now." She chortles and I throw a pillow at her. Mom flicks the light on and I sit up angrily.

"Can you all just fuck off?" I yell.

"Stanley, mind your language." Mom scolds, ironically, she hadn't asked Shelly to mind her language. This was sexism, I swear to God. "You're going to be late."

"Oh no..." I drone as dad appears behind the two of them. Great, the last remaining member of the all-star threesome.

"Stan, why aren't you up yet?" He asks me.

"Any more questions?" I hiss. "I'm not going today."

"Why not?" Mom pesters, folding her arms the same time as Shelly.

"Because I'm sick." I lie and she raises her eyebrows.

"Stan." She walks over and puts her arm around me. "I know it must be hard right now-"

"Get off me!" I push her arm off. Why did they always fuss about everything? Why couldn't they all just leave me alone? "I'm staying home, I'm not going to school, so there. You can't force me."

"You can't stay home, Shelly has got her photo shoot today." Dad tells me.

"What?" I mutter.

"For my modelling career." She prompts me.

" _Modelling career_?" I burst out laughing for the first time in ages and suddenly, I can't stop.

"Stan, stop it now." Mom snaps.

"Modelling career?" I repeat, still in fits of laughter. "Dream on! The only thing you'll be modelling for is a mental institution."

"Stan you are grounded." Mom finalises.

"Oh no..." I chuckle. "Grounded? What am I going to do now? I'm not going to school, ground me all you like."

"Fine." She slams the door, leaving me alone. I lie back down in bed, staring at the ceiling. I wouldn't be able to sleep now and that was the only thing I wanted to do. Man, I hated my family so much. If they could just disappear that would be a blessing. Actually, if I could disappear, just vanish into thin air... Where I could finally just be alone, without Kyle nagging or Mom fussing or Wendy fucking someone else. I slap myself in the face without thinking and a searing pain emanates from my wounds. _Fuck_. I bite my hand to prevent me from screaming out. Tears trickling out of my functioning eye as my hand begins to sting like crazy. I pull myself up to get an ice pack from my desk when I catch myself in the mirror. I pause, staring at my reflection.

Who was that? I didn't recognise them. It wasn't me. I reach my hand out to touch the glass and so does the person staring back at me. The person? The monster. The stranger. Bruises coating their face, stitches in their lower lip, an eye half closed. Black hair greasy, ruffled, posture broken, slumped. That shimmer in my blue eyes had disappeared. The ambition in my face was gone. Now I just saw my future. The dumb kid who is in all the bottom sets. Who dreams of being a footballer but secretly knows they have no chance. Clinging onto the hope so that they don't have to focus in lessons. Bloody, bruised, broken.

Why was Wendy even with me? Why hadn't she run away ages ago. I now realise why she is so desperate to spend time with people like Craig. Because it was better than spending time with this person. This person who was unhealthy for her. Who once made her laugh, made her happy. Who now only brought agro, trouble and trauma.

What was even the point anymore? I get my phone out and dial Kyle's number, I didn't know why, he just seemed to be the only one who cares right now.

 **Kenny PoV**

"Where is everyone?" I ask Wendy as I take my seat in homeroom.

"No idea." She shrugs. Bebe, Kyle and Stan all hadn't shown up yet. "Cartman is probably in the announcement suite right now, deciding who to humiliate today."

"Most likely to be one of us." I reply.

"Again." She sighs. "So neither Kyle or Stan were at the bus stop?"

"Nope, had to put up with Cartman all the way." I tell her. "Mind you, he hasn't been all that bad this morning for some reason."

"I haven't seen him around as much." She ponders. "Probably too busy out beating kids up."

"Yeah, he wishes." I laugh.

"...How are you?" She finally asks and I knew what she was referring to. I had been the laughing stock of the school after my little outburst last week. The news still hasn't died down about the crash and my drunken escapade. You would have thought it had put me off drinking for life, but I had been down Skeeters bar another three times since. I now had no job so I was running out of money to feed Karen with. Dad had fucked off, none of us had seen him for months now. He was probably dead, not that I cared. Mind you, I had to thank him for spending all that time in the bar, it resulted in me getting free drinks all the time. Kevin was still being a complete dick, bringing thirty year old women back to the house and fucking them so loudly that Karen runs into my room, crying, thinking someone is being murdered. Mom wasn't being any help either, she was still spending an awful amount of time slumped on the couch, only getting up to get a can of Pabst Blue Ribbon from the cupboard. How she was buying them, I didn't know. They were probably Kevin's and she would drink them whenever he was out. She obviously hadn't gone back to work so we literally had no income, except for Kevin's wage but he spent all of that on himself and the girls down the brothel. Our electricity had completely cut out so we had no television, no refrigerator, no lighting. We had dealt without heating for long enough but if you wanted the definition of poverty, our family was the place to come.

I suddenly notice Wendy's concerned expression. "Oh, uh, fine thanks." I lie and she puts a hand on my shoulder, knowing it was complete bullshit. I look up as Bebe enters the room, looking very pale as she slides down in the seat next to me. "Where've you been?"

"Toilet." Is all she mutters to me and I see Wendy shift her gaze from me to her.

"...Well, this really isn't a good time for relationships, is it?" Wendy chirps.

"Why, aren't you and Stan getting on?" I ask and she just shrugs.

"Ah..." She sighs. "I don't know, he's just been really weird lately."

"Haven't we all." Bebe mumbles. She was right to be fair, we all had been a bit weird, the only person who still seemed sane was Wendy. She was like the councillor of the group. Probably because she hadn't been caught up in the crash or pretended been on a date with her cousin.

"Bridon and Lola, Stan and I..." She hesitates. "You two."

"Um, we're fine thanks." Bebe suddenly snaps. Well... She was clearly on her period.

"Ok... Just an observation, that's all." Wendy gives a sympathetic smile.

"Yeah well don't observe." Bebe shouts, suddenly getting up and running to the door. "Shit, I'm gonna puke."

The class sits in silence when she has left. Whoever thought senior year would bring this much drama?

 **Wendy PoV**

I file my homework in my folder and place it back into my bag. Even if no one else was, I still wanted to get good grades at the end of this year. It seemed no one else cared anymore. But dad always told me that if others are bringing you down, soar higher. So that was what I was going to do. Even if Stan was being a depressed prick or Kyle was whining about being judged or Kenny was running off to the pub or Bebe was growing bigger or Cartman was reciting my name over and over on the morning announcements. I just had to focus on myself for a while.

I wrap a towel around myself and head out to the bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror as I wipe away the make-up. The plain-faced girl from third grade who had always tried her hardest in everything. I was so close, I could do it now.

I begin running the water and step into the shower, feeling the warmth drench my body. I close my eyes and imagine that it is a waterfall, crashing down on me, drowning any worries I might have. My jet black hair falls down over my shoulders as it is soaked. I reach for the shower gel and begin lathering it over my body. My eyes still closed to prevent water from entering them.

That's when I feel it. A tiny bump in my left breast. I pause suddenly, my eyes flying open, standing frozen in the hot water. I raise my shaky hand and cautiously touch the area I had just passed, hoping I had imagined it. Sure enough, I felt the lump again, very predominant under the flesh. I had always checked for things more subtle than this, I stare down but I can barely see anything. I quickly reach my hand out and turn the water off, sliding the other hand over the bump several times, as if trying to make it disappear.

It was nothing. I was sure it was nothing. It couldn't be anything serious... Nothing like this ever happened to me. No. I was normal, I was perfectly normal. I had always been _normal._ But the more I touch it, the more I know that I am kidding myself.

This wasn't happening.


	22. Homosexuality Through The Ages

**Chapter 21:**

 **Bebe PoV**

The weekend has been uneventful, mainly consisting of nausea and laying in bed. I wasn't doing any favours for myself; I hadn't hit the gym in over two weeks and I had awful cravings for pickles and ice-cream, which wasn't benefitting the weight loss plan.

The worst part of everything however, was the constant voice in the back of my head. 'Believe it Bebe' it would say. 'You can't make it go away'. 'You irresponsible slag, look what you've done now'. Problem was, it could repeat the words all it liked. Wendy could do the same. But it still wasn't sinking in. It still didn't make any sense. I was refusing to face the truth.

"Bebe, Lola was wondering if she is still allowed to sit with us?" Jenny hesitantly sits down at the table that is already occupied by Heidi, Red, Annie and me.

"Why wouldn't she?" I mutter, not interested in the slightest.

"...Because she attended science club the other day." Milly joined the group, placing her lunch tray down.

"She thinks you're mad at her." Jenny adds.

"I don't fucking care." Is all I spit before they exchange wary glances.

"Bebe?" Red whispers in my ear. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine Red." I reply bluntly, but she doesn't give up.

"Is it because Wendy isn't here?" She continues. That was another thing, Wendy hadn't shown up for the majority of the week and wouldn't answer any of my calls. I had tried to call round in yesterday but her parents had just said she was out.

"No, I don't care." I hiss. Why did everyone have to know everyone else's business? "Lola, stop being so pathetic and come and sit down." I yell over to where she is lingering by the counter, Esther at her side as a bodyguard.

"Ok..." She says when she gets a bit closer. "You don't have to be so bitchy about it."

I just roll my eyes and I watch as both Esther and Lola exchange a worried look. Red speaks for me.

"What's going on?" She questions.

"Lola... Has some news." Esther elbows her and gives a slight cough.

"Well I..." She stutters. "I broke up with Bridon."

"I know." I state.

"Yeah... And I sort of have a new boyfriend..." She virtually whispers, staring at the floor.

"Cool..." I frown. Honestly, this was the least important issue to me right now.

"It's Kevin." She tells me and I just stare at her for a few seconds. Kevin? Lola was going out with Kevin?

"Kevin?" Red repeats, as if reading my mind. "Kevin Stoley?"

To be perfectly straight, it didn't seem to bother me very much. Whereas this time two weeks ago, I would have flipped out completely. Instead, Red decided to take my place after Lola nods at her.

"You're going out with Kevin?" She virtually screams and the canteen falls silent. Jesus, even I wouldn't over-react that much. "Why?"

"...Because we have really similar interests..." She mumbles. "And he's a really nice guy."

"Yeah, I fucking know that." Red spits. "I used to be best friends with him... Before he went all weird." She adds when everyone gives her an odd look.

"Hey, that's my cousin you're talking about." Esther snaps, she very rarely pipes up so this was unusual.

"I can't believe you are slumming it with Kevin Stoley." Red scoffs, ignoring Esther.

"Why do you care so much?" Heidi sniggers.

"I don't..." Red gives a nervous laugh. For fucks sake, when were they all going to grow up? "I don't care, it's your funeral."

"Bebe..." Milly prompts, I was still sat in silence. Fuck this, I wasn't joining in their lame little school girl games. I quickly get up and begin walking towards the exit of the canteen, everyone's eyes focused on me as my footsteps are the only sound heard in the depth of the silence. I hear someone mutter 'Jeez, she's taking it badly' and I slam the door behind me, shutting them all out. I am crying by the time I reach the toilet, which luckily was completely empty. I lean up against the wall, wiping the tears away with my sleeve.

I wait until my breathing rate has slowed and then dare to look in the mirror. My mascara is dripping down my cheeks and my hair is tangled from running my fingers through it. I run my hand under the tap and wipe some of the excess make-up off, leaving my not-so-pretty face underneath. There is nothing to dry my hands on, so instead I resort to wiping them on my shirt. Which is a bad idea, because that's when I feel the bump.

I hadn't noticed any changes until now, but I could feel that my stomach was raised slightly. I stand at an angle in the mirror and eye myself up and down, trying to make myself as slim as possible. It wasn't working, it was still there, maybe not noticeable to anyone who didn't know, but give it a few weeks and it would be very clear. This was actually happening. I was pregnant.

"Why?" I scream suddenly, throwing my cell phone at the mirror in a sudden panic. A large crack forms down the centre as it makes contact and my phone falls in the sink, a bit battered around the sides. I hesitate before picking it up again, my hand shaking with fear, but this was the only way to destroy my appearance. I throw it again, chipping away the glass, massive chunks falling in the sink along with my cell as it beats up my reflection. I throw it again and again and again until I can't see anything but a single eye. I start to cry again and the tears are warm against my face. "I don't want to have a baby!" I yell. "Why would you do this to me? Why make my life a misery? I'm not ready! I'm not ready!"

I pound my fists against the wall of a cubicle until I am completely out of breath. I virtually collapse on the floor in a pile of tears and glass, not caring about the cuts on my hands or face. I lie there for about a minute, praying no one enters the bathroom now.

But it wasn't someone entering the toilets that was a problem. It was the person coming out.

I hear the lock slide across first and I feel my heart completely stop, a jet of shock and fear bursting through my body. I turn slowly, very slowly, to see Cartman standing behind me.

"Well well well." He grins, popping away his notebook and pen in his back pocket. "That was an interesting audio book."

"...What..." I pant, unable to believe this was happening. "...What are you? What are you doing in here?"

"What, a guy can't take a dump in the girls bathroom?" Cartman states, matter-of-factly. "Bebe, we've been over this."

"You..." Is all I manage to get out before he interrupts again.

"My my my, we have been busy." He paces around me, enjoying every second of this. "And we have made quite a mess in the process too... Shame you've broken your cell phone, you'll probably be needing it to call the midwife."

This just confirms everything for me, my hopes that he maybe, unlikely, hadn't have heard are shattered. Of all the people who could have been in here, it had to be Eric Cartman. The fat, bullying, morning announcement reader.

"Right..." I stammer, looking him in the eye after pulling myself up. "...So now you know. What are you going to do?" I gulp as he stops pacing.

He pauses for a second, studying the broken mirror. He then turns on his heel and moves in closer, as if about to kiss me. I can feel his warm breath on my ear as he whispers the two words which kill me inside. "Enjoy it."

 **Kyle PoV**

"Ok class, I want you to all get into groups of four." Shit, the words I hated the most. The words which meant I would be split from Stan and replaced by Wendy, Bebe and Kenny. I glance around the class to see who my other choices were. Craig's gang were already in tow, with a group of Clyde, Craig, Tweek and Token. I sigh as I see Kevin's group is missing a fourth member. Looks like I would be stuck with him, Timmy and Francis.

"Oi, Kyle over here buddy." Kenny beckons me over to where he is sat with a shifty looking Bebe and Stan, who had his hood up to cover most of his face. I thought that was more Kenny's style... Of course, Wendy wasn't here. Well I was ok with being the second option then.

"Shift Kyle, I'm in this group today." Cartman jeers, giving me a shove once I have moved my chair next to Kenny's.

"Fuck off Cartman, Kyle is." Stan retorts from under his hood.

"Um... No, I am." He argues.

"No you're not." Bebe protests.

"...Oh." Cartman turns his stare to her instead. "Well Bebe, maybe you wouldn't mind leaving the group then."

"What?" Kenny splutters, putting his arm around her. "No!"

"Oh Kenny, you are so sweet, so naive." Cartman taunts, still focusing on Bebe. "There's so much you don't know."

"Are you high on cough medicine again?" I ask.

"Or Butters' cum." Kenny scoffs and I burst out laughing.

"Bebe, would you mind moving please?" Cartman ignores them. "Or will I have to try and persuade you?"

"No I'll move." Bebe mutters, getting up reluctantly and pushing Kenny's arm off her shoulder.

"Bebe, you don't have to-" Kenny tries to argue but she just shrugs him off.

"...Well, this is nice, just like old times." Cartman gives a satisfied smile, wedging himself between Kenny and Stan. I give him a glare and then watch as Bebe sits down next to Red, Heidi and Jenny, pushing Lola out of the group. This was like a domino effect.

"Where's she gonna go now?" Kenny points at Lola, who doesn't seem bothered by the move. To our surprise, she sits down next to Kevin Stoley, giving friendly smiles to Francis and Timmy.

"Um... What?" I mumble, frowning in confusion. It gets even weirder when Kevin puts his arm around Lola and she doesn't push him off.

"Am I like... Dead?" Kenny asks, checking himself over, as if actually in doubt. I look over to where I am expecting the girls to be staring, open-mouthed. But they don't really seem to care, Bebe in particular, as she is staring down at the table in a daze. Red is just shooting an evil glare at the back of Lola's head.

"Oi Lola?" Cartman shouts suddenly, throwing a screwed up ball of paper at her head. "What are you doing with science boy?"

"Fuck off you fat prick." She spits, throwing the paper ball back at him.

"Ok, chill your period." He holds up his hands. "Was just wondering why you and Doctor Never-Had-A-Screw were shacking up?"

"Shut up Cartman, you've never fucked anyone either." I yell, which is a big mistake.

"Oh sorry Doctor Jew." He laughs at his own joke. "I wasn't aware you had screwed the entire school."

"Fuck off." I mutter, seeing Craig's gang chuckling to themselves.

"So they are actually together?" Kenny questions, as if he had zoned out for the past five minutes.

"Who cares?" Stan groans, but his speech was muffled due to his lack of face.

"Yeah, why does my love life interest you so much?" Lola chips in.

"Because it's Kevin." Cartman states.

"...So?" She raises her voice.

"It's Kevin." Cartman repeats.

"And? What's your point?" She virtually shouts.

"That it's Kevin." He says again and I give him a withering stare. She gives up, turning her back on him and sighing loudly. "Well, I'm very excited about this project."

"I'm not." Stan mutters.

"Yeah, we don't want to be with you." I add.

"Oh sorry Kyle." He smiles. "Shall I call your cousin, see if she can come and join your group instead? Mind you, I heard she was better at partner work..."

"Shut your goddamn mouth!" I point my finger at him aggressively.

"Ugh, Kyle, quit the shouting." Stan covers his ears with his hands.

"Why don't you quit being a depressed douche?" Kenny backs me up.

"Right class, I'm going to hand out textbooks and we are going to spend this lesson studying for a group project." Mr Veerson announces and there is a loud groan from every student in class. I fucking hated general studies. "I'm going to give you each a topic and you are going to do a presentation on it next week. Meaning that you will have to work on this for homework."

"Yeah, Cartman, you are not with us." Kenny prods him in the arm.

"Ok, Bebe you are the team captain of your group." He points to her. Yeah right, just because he was a pedo and had a massive crush on her. "Your topic is parenthood."

"Ahahaha!" Cartman suddenly blurts out and everyone turns to stare at him again.

"Eric Cartman, be quiet." Mr Veerson orders.

"Kevin's group, your topic is science." Naturally, I think as they all cheer and clap, including Lola... "Craig's group, you have media, Emily's group you are doing finance, Jimmy's group, animal care and Cartman's group you are focusing on homosexuality through the ages."

"What?" Stan finally looks up.

"Homosexuality through the ages?" Kenny questions. "What the fuck is that?"

"Being gay... Through the ages." Mr Veerson replies, bluntly. "Now, I've chosen a topic which should reflect your interests, so-"

"Reflect our interests?" Kenny pipes up again.

"What the fuck, why?" Cartman squeals.

"Cartman, one word." Mr Veerson tells him. "Butters."

"Ahahaha!" It was my turn to laugh now. Mr Veerson could be a complete twat, but there were times when he could also be a complete legend.

 **Cartman PoV**

What a complete twat. I didn't really care anyway, I was just glad he hadn't given us 'the development of southern fried chicken over the ages'. That would really kill me.

"Right, so I suppose we ought to get studying then." Kyle shrugs, dumping the textbook next to me.

"Why do I have to do it?" I snap.

"...Because you wanted to be in our group." Kenny tells him.

"Yeah and you never put any effort in." Kyle adds.

"I fucking do Kyle." I spit. "Well I'll prove you wrong, I'm just going to have a flashback."

"Fucks sake." Kyle buries his head in his hands. "Don't do this again Cartman."

"What, you don't think I can have one?" I tease.

"No." He states.

"I'll bet you five dollars." I negotiate.

"No." Pussy.

"Why?"

"Because every time you bet me five dollars, you end up shitting out of your mouth, or people start shitting after the die or you get a platinum album with your Christian rock band." Kyle spews.

"Myrrh album." Kenny corrects him.

"Look can you all just shut up?" Stan yells and the whole class goes quiet. "Just shut up."

"...Well someone is missing their clit-partner." I mutter.

"Clit-partner?" Kenny dares to ask.

"Yeah, Wendy." I tell him and I receive weird looks from everyone. "Clit central."

"Fuck off." Stan shouts and then storms out of the classroom.

"...Well someone is on their period." I jibe.

"Oh great, another one gone." Mr Veerson sighs.

"How do you reach these kids?" I imitate a Mexican accent, closely followed by yet another glare from Kenny. "I hate you Kenny."


	23. Sorry

**Chapter 22:**

 _ **A/N: This is a verrrry busy chapter, with so much shouting and arguments so prepare aha! Also, if you haven't already, remember to check out RatherOddRanger's fanfic 'Everything Changes - The Last Great Console War'. Which is a spin off of my trilogy. It's a really great read so go have a look:)**_

 **Wendy PoV**

"So, were you planning on telling me that you were still alive?" Stan bursts through the front door, it was lucky that my parents were out.

"Can you not shout please?" I ask, closing the door behind him.

"You haven't been at school for two weeks." He tells me, as if I wasn't aware. "You won't answer any of my calls."

"Well I'm surprised it took you this long to bother coming round." I raise my voice. "What did it take to drag you out of your room this time?"

"You." He says softly and I just look down at the floor. "What is going on Wendy? Are you sick? You don't look it. Has someone died?"

"No." I mutter, avoiding eye contact again. I had been very much like him over the past few weeks; lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. Except I had an excuse. I had made an appointment with the doctor but as soon as I arrived at the surgery, I had freaked out and gone home. I was turning into Bebe; denying everything, pretending it wasn't there. Which was the worst possible thing to do, because the sooner I got this lump checked out, the safer I would be. "I'm just..."

"Just what?" He persists. "Wendy, you were fine, you were the most sane out of all of us. You don't have to worry about exams, you weren't involved in the crash-"

"Oh well sorry Stan." I snap at him. "Sorry I missed the event of the century."

"That's not funny." He whispers. "You know we went to hell and back that night."

"OH YEAH POOR YOU!" I yell and he looks taken aback. "POOR BEBE AND POOR KENNY, AS LONG AS YOU THREE ARE ALRIGHT, NO ONE ELSE MATTERS HUH?"

"OF COURSE THEY DO." He bellows. "I'M JUST SAYING THAT I CAN'T THINK OF A REASON WHY YOU HAVE SUDDENLY GONE OFF ON ONE."

We stand in silence for a second, both seething in the quietness of the empty house. I turn my back on him and walk into the kitchen, pulling a bottle of water out of the fridge.

"Is it me?" He tries again, much quieter.

"Not everything is about you Stan." I tell him, still quite viciously.

"Well then, talk to me." He softens, putting his hand on my shoulder. I feel the warmth emanating from his palm, seeping through my flesh, heating my bones. "I'm trying to get through to you." I close my eyes for a few seconds and then sigh, fighting back the tears. I put my hand on his and squeeze it gently.

"Well don't." I just whisper and then walk off up the stairs.

I am sat in my room for about five minutes before the door creaks open again. He's standing there, completely clueless, face still bruised, eyes dark and saddened.

"I'm not giving up on you." He finally mumbles, not moving a step closer in the fear that I will flip out again.

"That's funny." I mutter, and then I start laughing. I didn't know why, because it wasn't funny in the slightest. None of this was funny. "You're saying this now? But you failed to sort it out before."

"What do you mean 'before'?" He questions, exasperatedly. "I thought we were fine."

"No Stan." I confirm. "We're not fine. We haven't been fine for ages. You make no effort at all."

"I MAKE NO EFFORT?" He shouts again, picking up a framed picture of us from my side table and throwing it at the wall, angrily. "MOVIE TRIPS? BUYING YOU PRESENTS? WHAT ABOUT LAST VALENTINES DAY?"

"...Ok." I sigh, holding my hands up. Now I thought about it, he did try hard some thing's. "That was harsh of me, sorry."

"...Is this because of Craig?" He finally inquires, quietly. I raise my head to look at him, hoping he would crack a smile and say he was joking. But he looked deadly serious. "It is, isn't it?"

"Stan, what the fuck are you on about?" I squeak, my throat suddenly dry.

"Oh come on Wendy." It was his turn to laugh now. "The late night 'rehearsals', smiling at him in the corridor, sitting with him at lunch."

"At lunch?" I scoff. "I did that once and that was because, once again, you had football practice. You know, I'm surprised you haven't married the fucking football by now."

"Oh yeah, that's great, throw in some childish jokes." He spits. "Very mature."

"Stan." I stop him. "There is nothing between Craig and me, we're friends, he has a boyfriend, I have a boyfriend... Or, I thought I did..."

"What's that supposed to mean?" He asks, his voice quivering slightly.

"I just..." I mumble, tears welling up in my eyes again. "I just don't want you to get hurt."

"...Is that your way of saying we are over?" He swallows. "Look at me Wendy."

I raise my head slowly as my eyes meet his. "I don't want to drag you down..." I tell him, not wanting to give too much information as to why. "I don't know... Maybe, we should just take a break or something."

"A break?" He repeats, checking to see if I was serious. "...Right."

He hesitates before leaving, stopping to place a small black box on my side table, which he pulls out of his pocket. "Happy anniversary." He gives a slight smile and then walks out. I wait a minute before hearing the front door close. Our anniversary. Of course. I had forgotten all about it. I stand, shaking for a while, still staring at the empty doorway as tears roll down my cheeks. Part of me was hoping that he would appear at the door again, wrap me in a hug and tell me it would be ok. But he didn't, of course, because once again I had screwed it up.

It takes effort to walk over to my side table, my legs were like jelly. I pick up the box and open it carefully. Inside is a silver bracelet, with 'I love you' engraved into the winding pattern. He knew, he knew how long I had wanted a silver bracelet for. Back in fourth grade I used to fantasise about it. He told me that, when he had grown up, had a job and earned enough money, he would buy me one. Now he actually had. He had remembered.

My legs can't hold my weight then and I collapse against the table in a heap, crying my eyes out and clasping the bracelet in my palm. I had messed everything up, again.

 **Kenny PoV**

"Karen, bring your gym kit downstairs and I'll stick it in the wash." I call up the stairs, by 'wash' I meant rinse in the sink with soap, as our washing machine hadn't been working for ages now. "Karen? Do you want it to be clean or not?"

"Kenny stop shouting." Mom yells from the couch, turning up the TV, which is crackling with the poor picture.

"Can you turn that thing off?" I ask her aggressively and she gives me the finger without turning to look at me. "KAREN?"

"KENNY SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I hear Kevin yell from upstairs and then the slamming of a door. He appears at the top of the battered staircase, a can of beer in one hand and a joint in the other. "All I can hear is you whining on."

"Oh right okay Kevin." I scoff. "How would you like to wash her gym kit then? Go on, considering our lazy ass mother can't be bothered... again."

"Get off my back." She moans.

"I've got to go out to work." He heads down the stairs, taking a drag of his joint. "Which is somewhere you don't have to go, because you got fired."

"AT LEAST MY JOB WAS LEGAL." I yell at him as he reaches the door.

"AT LEAST I EARN A WAGE." He laughs back in my face. "Oh and don't wait up for me, I'll be down at the strip club tonight with Neil."

"Oh shocker." I mutter when he bangs the door closed, causing one of the hinges to fall off. It had been pretty much broken anyway, but now it slopes against the wall, hanging there for a few seconds before completely giving in and falling face down on the carpet. "FOR FUCKS SAKE." I shout.

"KENNY SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Mom shrieks, spilling her can of beer all over the carpet.

"THE FUCKING DOOR HAS JUST BROKEN MOM." I tell her, as if she is blind. "WE HAVE NO FRONT DOOR NOW, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT THAT?"

"The lock didn't even work anyway." She shrugs. "Besides, there's nothing in here to steal."

"What? So we just leave the doorway wide open, all night?" I question, fiercely. "For people to walk in and out? Murderers, rapists?"

"Oh fuck you Kenny, like anyone's gonna want to rape me anyway." She waves me off.

"Dad did." I swallow hard and that is when she finally turns to look at me.

"You little shit." She grinds her teeth together, leaping off the couch to slap me round the face. I fall the the floor and smack my head off the rotting floorboards. "HOW DARE YOU THROW THAT IN MY FACE."

I glare at her and then slowly get up, as she stands shaking, fists clenched, as if wanting to throw a punch next time. I cautiously stumble away from her, heading towards the sink, where I run the water over a cloth. I turn to look at her once I have held it to my cheek, but she remains frozen, staring at the floor where I fell.

"I'm sorry Kenny." She mumbles. She's sorry? _She's sorry?_ I pull open the cupboard doors and grab the bottle of vodka, gulping it straight from the bottle. I only stop drinking when she appears at my side, slamming a plastic cup down on the table as I reluctantly pour her several shots. My insides burn, I had just downed almost a third of a bottle. My head starts spinning and I feel free again. Free to do whatever I liked.

"You're a shit mother." I tell her. "You know that?"

"...Yes." She replies, bluntly, taking all of her shots in one.

"Dad is a shit dad." I add.

"I know." She nods as I pour her another dosage, taking a few more shots myself.

"You're both shit." I slur, as the alcohol begins to kick in, making my sight go fuzzy. The cloth falls out of my hand and on to the floor. I watch as it cascades down, water droplets flying from it when it hits the surface.

"...Do you wish I'd never given birth to you?" She asks, quietly.

"What, the first time you mean?" We both know what I was referring to and she nods, slowly. "...Yes." I confirm. "Because then none of this would of happened. I wouldn't be aware of it. I could have shut it out long ago... Because I can't now, can I? I can't get rid of it. Any normal person could just jump off a building. Overdose on pills, or heroine in your case. Maybe drown them self, hang them self, even burn them self... Not me." I glance at her sunken eyes, her body a complete mess. Shrunken and withered, her legs crippled from the very little weight she had to lug around. If she ever tried to move. Her red hair covered most of her face as she hung her head, but she still managed to stare at me. "I just keep coming back." I whisper.

"Kenny?" I suddenly hear Karen yell. Oh, so now she started paying attention. "They're outside again."

I snap my head round to look at the open doorway and mom does the same. I cover my face with my hand as I see them parking and walking up the path.

"Kenny?" I hear Karen again as she runs into the kitchen, her arms flying around my slumped body, barely holding myself up. "Don't let them take us, not again."

"Mrs McCormick?" A cop enters the room, holding up her police badge. She looks disgusted at the scene around us; broken doorway, mess everywhere, peeling wallpaper, wet floors and two drunken people in charge of a terrified little girl. "I'm DC Murray, South Park police."

"What the fuck do you want now?" I spit, which I know is the wrong thing to do, but I don't care.

"I'm afraid I have some bad news." She informs us. "Your husband, Stewart McCormick has died today as a result of drink-driving. I thought I would come and inform you-"

"What an idiot." I begin to laugh and she gives me a concerned look. "The fucking twat, how stupid is he?"

"I'm surprised he lasted this long." Mom begins to laugh too then.

"Yeah, what was the bad news?" I add and we both end up in hysterics, knocking the vodka bottle onto the floor, smashing, the remains of the substance spilling out around our feet. Karen looks incredibly confused, looking from me, to mom, to the police woman.

"...Can I ask, how much have you both had to drink?" She inquires.

"Is that your job?" Mom points at her, her finger shrivelled and quivering.

"Mrs McCormick, I have been on your back about child safety for the past sixteen years now." She tries to reason with her.

"Yeah and don't I fucking know it." Mom hisses, stumbling over to the broken refrigerator to pull out another can of beer.

"I don't think you should be drinking that-" The copper starts.

"And I don't think you should be meddling in our business." She spits back.

"Mrs McCormick, your husband has just died." She prompts.

"YOU'VE TOLD ME THAT YOU SKANK." Mom yells, throwing the can at her in anger as it hits her round the head and she falls to the floor. Wow, those floorboards had seen a bit of action today. Five or six members of the police instantly run in, two holding guns.

"This is a disgrace." One man observes the room, his eyes fixating on me.

"Mrs McCormick, I am arresting you on suspicion of child neglect and harming a police officer." One woman pipes up, also showing her badge. "You do not have to say anything but it may harm your defence if you do not mention something that you may later rely on in court. Anything you do say may be given as evidence. Do you understand?"

"Fucks sake, really?" I shout as they drag her away by her arms. I try to act as sober as possible as I stumble to the doorway. "Her husband has just died. Our father, has died!"

Karen begins to cry then, shaking as she clings onto me.

"You need to sober up sunshine." A man comes up to me. "Now, is there any other guardian staying in this house or do we need to contact social services?"

"NO!" Karen screams and instantly runs up the stairs.

"My brother Kevin is twenty." I tell him.

"Contact details?" He questions and offers me a notepad and pen to write down his cell phone number on. "Right, we'll be in touch."

"Kenny, I'm sorry!" I hear my mom yell as they push her into the police car. The words echo in my head over and over as everything starts to sink in. My dad was dead and my mom was going to jail. I watch as they drive off, car after car and my head begins to spin rapidly. Everything becomes blurred as the words crowd my mind. _'Kenny, I'm sorry'. 'Stewart McCormick has died today as a result of drink-driving'. 'Drink-driving'. 'Kenny, I'm sorry'. 'We are arresting you on suspicion of child neglect'. 'Died today as a result of drink-driving'. 'Kenny, I'm sorry'. 'I'm sorry'._

And with that, I pass out, the world disappearing into darkness.


	24. A Sonogram To Remember

**Chapter 23:**

 _ **A/N: Apologies for slow updates; I have been away for the week.**_

 **Stan PoV**

"Ken, I need to talk to you." I say down the phone, thank fuck it was the weekend because it was midday and I had no plans to leave my bed.

"Can't you talk to Kyle?" I hear him reply, he sounded incredibly tired. "I'm a bit tied up."

"Oh yeah, great." I spit. "Thanks for your support."

"Ok, fine Stan." He mutters. "But you'll have to come here, I'm looking after Karen."

"Ugh..." I groan, slowly pulling myself out of bed and chucking a T-shirt and jeans on. I pull my red puff ball hat on over my messy hair. It was fraying now, with holes and pulls in the material.

It didn't take me long to walk to Kenny's, it was only a few houses up the road. Off in the corner of the street, out of view. He appears at the entrance to his house, where his garden looks like a junkyard; scrap metal and rubbish scattered anywhere.

"...Where's your door?" I ask him, pointing at the open doorway.

"Gone." He tells me. "Blame Kevin."

"Right." I nod. "Are you going to get it replaced?"

"Stan." He studies me. "Our roof is about to fall through, we have no central heating for the winter and we are virtually starving. The door is the last of our worries."

"...Are you drunk?" I notice his slumped body, leaning up against the door frame.

"Mmm." He mumbles. "Come in."

I follow him into his rotting home; it is falling apart, freezing cold, with dust coating everything. I hadn't been here for ages, I didn't bring myself to face that sort of torture.

"Cozy." Is all I muster and he gives me a look.

"So what do you want?" He spits, going over to the cupboard to look for something to offer me. He pulls out half a packet of stale cheesy poofs and a tin of cream corn. Apart from that, there was nothing but shit loads of bottled spirits at the back of their cupboard. How they could afford those but not food, I didn't know.

"...I'm cool... For now." I tell him and he nods, putting them back and closing the cupboard door.

"Are you going to tell me what's up then?" He asks again, looking pretty sick.

"Wendy and I broke up." I sigh.

"...I'll alert the gazette." He says sarcastically and I raise my head.

"Kenny!" I yell. "I'm in pieces here."

"Clearly." He studies me and then hesitates before opening the cupboard again. He pulls out some bottle of oddly coloured liquid, un-screws the cap to smell it and then pulls a face. All the same, he takes a long gulp of it from the bottle. "Tequila."

"Bit early for that isn't it?" I mutter, still mad at him for not caring.

"It's never too early if you haven't had any sleep." He inserts and I frown.

"You've been drinking all night?" I establish.

"Not all night, no." He corrects me. "I passed out for a few hours."

"...Something tells me that I'm not the only one who's in a bad way." I say.

"Oh no, trust me Stan." He laughs, drinking from the bottle again. "Your life is much harder than mine right now."

"No need to be sarcastic." I pick up on his tone. "So... Are you going to tell me what's up or not?"

"No rush is there?" He sneers. " _Believe me_ this is worth waiting for."

"...Kenny." I manage to say before he grabs the back of the chair and falls onto the floor.

"Oops, missed the seat." He chuckles to himself, raising he bottle to his lips again.

"I think you should stop drinking that." I try to grab it off him, but I know not to argue with a drunk Kenny. My battered face says it all.

"No!" He yells. "I have good reason. Unlike you. Oh no wait, teenage drama, the captain of the football squad has an argument with his girlfriend and hell breaks loose. Nothing else matters. Will love's young dream make it through?"

"Shut up you twat." I snap, fed up of his sarcasm. "You know what? You're being a complete dickhead at the moment. You've wrecked my life with your stupid drunk acts. Almost killed me and your girlfriend. So you think you have the right to tell me that my life is perfect? Hey? Why don't you just-"

"My dad's died and my mom has been arrested." He suddenly blurts out, still lying on the floor.

"...What?" I mumble, wondering if I had heard that right.

"My dad is dead." He repeats. "And my mom has gone to prison... Again."

 **Bebe PoV**

 _Ok Bebe, just do it_. This was the third time I had hovered by the reception desk in Hells Pass, before running back to my car. _Get it over and done wit_ h.

"Hi..." I suddenly cry out to the wary receptionist who had been eyeing me up for the past half hour. "...Hi... I um..."

"Mr Thomas the manager isn't here right now." She sighs. "But if you give me your number I will pass it along to him with all the others."

"Who's Mr Thomas?" I question.

"I assume that's why you are dithering around here, waiting for him to come out of the back room so you can look at his ass." She shrugs. "It's what they all do."

"...Ok." I gulp. "Well... As tempting as that offer is... I'm actually here for an appointment."

"Oh." She mumbles, turning to her computer screen. "Name?"

"Um... Bebe Stevens." I tell her, wringing my hands.

"...You're here for a five month pregnancy scan?" She sounds shocked, which didn't surprise me.

"Erm, no, you must have got that wrong." I deny quickly, the words falling out of my mouth all at once. "...Yeah, that's me."

"Right." She nods, trying to keep things professional. "Well you are fifteen minutes late but if you hurry to room sixteen, you can be seen now."

I just give her a slight smile before jetting off down the corridor in the hope that I don't see anyone I know. I find room sixteen and hesitate before knocking. _Jesus, no I couldn't do this_. I still had time to leave. _Do it Bebe, do it now._ My hand gives a muffled knock on the door. _You can still run away. Go. Run._

"Miss Stevens?" A woman appears at the door.

"No that's not me." I do it again and she looks confused. "...Yes?"

"Nervous?" She asks me. "That's okay, I'd be surprised if you weren't."

She leads me inside and sits me down on a bed covered with paper sheets.

"I'm sorry, I'm not..." I begin but then my mouth feels like sandpaper.

"I am doctor Qasim and I will be your midwife. I'm just going to ask you a few questions first." She gives me a warm smile. "Firstly... Does anyone know about your pregnancy?"

"...Just um." I try to spit the words out.

"Take your time." She reassures me.

"Just my best friend, Wendy." I tell her. "Oh and this fat kid from school. He over-heard me in the toilets, _I_ didn't tell him. Although I probably shouldn't call him fat because that's what people will be calling me soon. Won't it? Oh God..."

"Right." She nods, looking slightly confused. _Score Bebe_. "Have you experienced any discomfort in your abdomen?"

"Not since the crash, no." I recall. "Well, except for morning sickness."

"And any painful gas?" She questions, scribbling on her notepad.

"Ew! No!" I virtually scream and she looks up suddenly. "...Sorry..."

"That's fine." She smiles again. "Can I get you to put this robe on and lie down on the table?"

"Look... Mrs... Doctor..." I stutter.

"Qasim." She reminds me.

"I've decided I'm going to get rid of it you see." I pull the robe on. "So I need to get it done as soon as possible."

"Well you have very limited time at this stage." She tells me. "You are almost twenty one weeks Bebe, abortion isn't allowed after twenty four."

"Precisely why I need one now." I explain.

"Well there is a waiting list." She adds. "You'd have to make an appointment and standard procedure is-"

"Hold on." I put my hand out to stop her. "Are you denying me an abortion?"

"No, I'm not." She argues, talking softly. "I'm just saying you will have to act fast and you have to be absolutely sure."

"I am sure." I persist.

"Then why are you here today?" She inquires and I pause for a second.

"...I just..." I mumble. "I just wanted to... See it."

She studies me carefully and I lie back on the bed, clenching my hands into fists so that they don't shake with fear. I wait while she starts up the ultrasound and gets things ready.

"Ok, I'm going to place some gel on your stomach, so it may be a bit cold." She informs me and I feel a twinge as the liquid is rubbed near my belly button. A low beeping noise sounds and then a quiet, steady beat as she begins to move some device around. It gradually gets louder and I see her smile whilst looking at the screen.

"...Is everything ok?" I ask.

"Everything is fine." She beams.

"...Can I see... It?" I gulp and she turns to screen slowly. My eyes fall on a tiny figure, moving around, black and white waves swimming around it. I bite my lip to stop the tears but they come spilling out all the same. "I'm sorry."

"That's ok." She gives a slight laugh. "I'm used to it trust me. Sometimes we have mother's balling their eyes out in here."

 _Mother_. The word echoes in my head. Whether I liked it or not, I was a mother. This baby was inside of me. I could see it with my own eyes. It was feeding off me, living off me, I was raising it up.

"Is it a boy or a girl?" I suddenly ask.

"Well, it's hard to determine from this scan but my guesses would suggest you have a baby boy." She says and my face breaks into a smile.

"A little baby boy." I whisper. " _My_ little baby boy."


	25. In The Ghetto

**Chapter 24:**

 ** _A/N: Quite a few throwbacks in this chapter, so I hope you enjoy it!_**

 **Wendy PoV**

The room made me feel sick; big and open-plan with several machines lining it. I was finally here. I had finally plucked up the courage to get this checked out.

"Miss Testaburger?" The doctor asks as I walk into the room. "You're here to inquire about a growth in your breast?"

"...Yes." I whisper and she offers me a seat.

"Talk me through how you came across it." She smiles, warmly.

"I was in the shower." I explain. "After a very normal day. I was just washing myself and I felt a bump. At first I thought I had imagined it but after running my fingers over it a few more times, I could tell it was definitely there. I made an appointment almost immediately but I couldn't bring myself to come... I was so scared of... what it could be."

"Ok well, well done for coming in." She replies. "It was a brave decision, you did the right thing."

"It's not anything serious, is it?" I suddenly blurt out. "...I mean, not at my age."

"It's most likely that it is something minor, but we will have to carry out tests to ensure that is the case." She tells me. "We don't want to take any risks."

 **Cartman PoV**

"Meem?" I call out, hunched over the table in the living room. "MEEM?"

"What's up Hun?" She calls from the kitchen. I felt as if I was dying; it was as if I was being stabbed in the stomach. My head was spinning and felt as if it had split open. I couldn't move, everywhere hurt.

"Come here, now." I yell, barely able to speak.

"Poopsikins, what's the matter?" She runs into the living room and gasps at the sight of me. It probably looked as if I was in labour; pulling a Bebe or something. "I'll call an ambulance."

"What?" I suddenly splutter. " _No_! No, I don't need an ambulance."

"Honeysuckle, you look in extreme pain." She persists, grabbing the phone.

"No, it's subsiding now." I lie, but I know that if she calls the hospital, they will pick up on that fact that I have barely eaten in weeks. I slowly make my way to the couch, trying to walk as normally as possible and failing.

"I'm not sure sweetie." She coos. "You look very sick and you look slimmer all of a sudden."

Well _that_ shows how observant she was at least...

"Meem, I'm fine honestly." I finalise and she puts the phone down.

"You have lost weight sugar muffin." She continues. "Have you been going poopies more than usual?"

"No mom!" I yell at her. "I told you, it's my new exercise regime. I want to get in shape for prom."

I had this all thought out in preparation for when people asked me. It was true, I had been doing exercise, except I had been starving myself to make it a little easier. _Easy_. That was a word that never crossed my mind. None of this was easy, none. Either way, the fact that mom was only just noticing my weight loss clearly showed how little she cared for me. She was more tied up with sleeping with everyone in town for the seventh time through or working so that she didn't drive us into poverty like Kenny's family. I suppose I had her to thank for the second one.

"I guess your body isn't used to the sudden movement." She shrugs. "The fat just drops off."

"I'm not fat, I'm big boned." I correct her, defensively, for what seems like the millionth time.

"Oh treacle tart, if you were big boned, you wouldn't be able to lose any weight." She smiles as if it is making the situation any better. "Bones can't shrink."

"I'll shrink _your_ bones." I mutter, watching as she leaves before I can keel over on the couch again in pain. This really wasn't good for me, I could tell. But if mom was starting to notice, it meant other people could too and therefore it was paying off. I just had to keep it up for a few more months, that was what I had to think about, my motivation. Just a little while longer of this torture and all the names and jokes and hate would stop. I could be normal like all of the other students. I wouldn't be labelled for being fat. Or go by the name of 'little piggy' or 'tub of lard' or 'fat-ass'. I smile at the thought, not long now.

 **Kyle PoV**

Another boring weekend where I would have nothing to do and no one to hang out with. I close my notepad after finishing yet another assignment and put it back in my bag. Now that was over and done with, I would be doing fuck-all all day. I could ask Ike to come to the movies with me or something, but I was pretty certain he would be on Skype with his friends doing maths equations. I wonder what Stan is doing? I flip open my laptop and log into Facebook. Stan had only made an account a few years back, after apparently having some 'trauma' with it back in childhood. He had a fear of getting sucked in and apparently had a dream that he was playing Yahtzee with his profile. Now however, he was virtually addicted to it.

I was about to click on Stan's profile before seeing something pop up on newsfeed.

'Stan Marsh changed his relationship status to single'.

What?

Wait _what_?

I blink at it a few times.

Then refresh the newsfeed.

It was still there, in black and white.

And immediate surge of mixed emotions soared through my body; disbelief, excitement, curiosity, happiness. Surely I was imagining this? Wendy and Stan had been together since... Well, since forever. This was crazy, they had made it through so much, whatever had caused them to split up must have been huge.

Why did this make me so happy? My heart was beating so fast. I felt so cruel; Stan would be in pieces and I was here feeling elated. I could finally have my best friend back. I would no longer be fifth wheeling the two biggest couples in the school. Maybe Kenny and Bebe would team up with Token and Nicole this time. Mind you, the way things were, it didn't seem like Kenny and Bebe were getting along too well either. Perhaps if they split up, Bebe and Wendy would go back to being with the girls and it could be like old times for Kenny, Stan and I. Minus Cartman because who wanted him around? I'd prefer it if it was just me and Stan. That was the way I always liked it. Just the two of us. When we would play games together or go on adventures to destroy Wall Mart or look after each other like the time I got a haemorrhoid and he visited me in hospital every day; saved my life. We could have that again, now that Wendy was out of the picture. Just the two of us.

I pull out my cell and text Stan, a smile appearing on my face.

 **Stan PoV**

"Kenny, get up." I order, holding out my hand to pull him to his feet. Four hours I had been in this shit hole now and he was still lying around on the floor.

"Stan?" I hear Karen's voice as she enters through the kitchen door. I smile at her and then feel my phone vibrate.

 _'Hey dude, where you at? I saw your Facebook status, just checking you are ok'._

Once Kenny is sloped on the couch, I text Kyle back, letting him know that I was at Kenny's. I hear footsteps in the open doorway almost instantly afterwards, surely he couldn't be here already.

"Ok, would someone mind telling me what the fuck is going on?" Kevin bursts through the entrance.

"Oh nice for you to show up." Kenny slurs, receiving a glare from his brother.

"I've been having a night out on the town." He informs us all.

"Newsflash." Karen rolls her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Shut up you little shit." He grits his teeth and Kenny jumps up to Karen's defence. "I was at the club all night. Picked up a bird and went back to her flat. Fucked her so hard she cried. Was a great night, until I receive a phone call this morning, telling me to get home because I have some little bastards to look after."

"You haven't heard the news then?" Kenny asks him.

"Course I've heard the news." He spits. "Thought it wouldn't reach me? That's the only good part of it. That lying, cheating, alcoholic scumbag is finally lying in a coffin."

"Well probably not." Kenny points out. "Coffin's are expensive, he's still in the morgue. We were meant to go and identify his body today."

"But you're too pissed off your head?" Kevin guesses. "Is that why I had to come back? Because you can't be a responsible guardian?"

"Don't talk to me about responsibility." Kenny hisses. "You're the one who's been at the cat house all night."

"So why's mom banged up then?" Kevin passes his comment by, moving onto the next topic on everyone's minds.

"Why do you think?" Kenny laughs. "For getting the shittest mother in the world award."

At this point another figure appears behind Kevin and we all turn to stare at the newcomer.

"...Where's the door?" Kyle frowns.

"Don't even ask." I tell him.

"What are you doing here?" Kenny questions, maybe more aggressively than he intended.

"Stan told me you were here." He replies. "I came to see if he was ok."

"If _he's_ ok?" Kevin points at me. "What about us?"

"What about you?" Kyle says, his eyes narrowing. "What's going on Ken?"

"Bereavement." Kenny puts bluntly. "And several other issues on top of it."

"Stuart's died." I inform him, since no one else looked like they were going to say it. "Oh and Carol's been arrested."

"And Kenny's drunk... Again." Karen points at him.

"And Kevin's being a twat." Kenny pipes up.

"And I have to be the fucking guardian." Kevin adds, causing the room to fall into silence.

"...Oh." Kyle nods.

"But I broke up with Wendy." I tell him, thinking it would make the situation better... I don't know, maybe shift the pain off Kenny's shoulders. Clearly not.

"Yeah, which we are all _devastated_ about." Kenny groans sarcastically.

"I know, like I said, I saw your Facebook status." Kyle reminds me. "How did it happen?"

"Oh you know what?" Kevin suddenly yells. "What are you two even doing here? If you want to have your little teenage relationship issues discussion, go have it somewhere else. Because this house has much bigger problems right now than the break-up of Romeo and Juliet."

"Well would you look here?" Cartman's voice suddenly sounds from the doorway. "Couldn't this be coverage for Poverty News? ...Kenny, where's your door?"

"DOES ANYONE ELSE WANT TO COME IN HERE?" Kevin suddenly flips out.

"AND STOP ASKING ABOUT THE FUCKING DOOR!" Kenny adds.

"I just came to ask about the project." Cartman continues, as if nothing phases him. "We agreed we would meet up tonight. There was no one at Stan or Kyle's so I had to resort to coming here... Where I can get my five star treatment I see."

No one speaks whilst Cartman begins to sing 'In The Ghetto' under his breath. Everyone is staring at him, confused or pissed off.

" _On the cold and grey Chicago morn, another little baby child is born, in the ghetto_." He sings and then breaks into a higher falsetto. " _In the ghettooo_!"

"Cartman, shut the fuck up." Kenny just states. "You sing that every time you come round my house."

"You should be proud, it's like the McCormick national anthem. Hey, you should play it at your funeral." He suggests, blissfully unaware of how close to the bone his remark was. " _And the momma cries. Cause if there's one thing that she doesn't need, it's another little hungry mouth to feed. In the ghetto. In the ghetto_."

"Does he ever stop?" Kyle whispers to me.

"Nope." I tell him. "No he does not."


	26. Protecting Her

**Chapter 25:**

 ** _A/N: Long Benny chapter coming up, lot's of emotion so prepare!_**

 **Kenny PoV:**

Noise. Bright lights. Busy corridors. Students, everywhere.

Not the best cure for a hangover. Especially when you had been drinking non-stop all weekend. I felt like going back to fourth grade, where I could pull a hood over my face to block the world out; where it could be dark and quiet and secluded. All my problems could be bottled up rather than spilling out over the white shiny hallways of South Park High.

 **Bebe PoV**

Bloating. Morning sickness. Cramped corridors. Students, everywhere.

I felt like an illegal immigrant; dressed in a huge padded duffel coat to hide any traces of the bump that people may suspect. Besides, I wasn't safe anymore now that Eric Cartman knew of my secret. I felt as if everyone was staring at me. I was constantly looking over my shoulder, ensuring I was still invisible. But I was far from _invisible_. Not just because I felt the size of a house, but because I was Bebe Stevens; cheer captain, most popular girl in the school, Kenny McCormick's girlfriend and Clyde Donovan's ex. If people were looking at me, it was most likely for one of those reasons.

 **Kenny PoV**

I turn the corner to see Bebe, covered from top to toe in thick clothing, wading through the groups of excited students. I knew it was getting colder now that the winter months were drawing in, especially up here in the mountains, but wasn't this a bit extreme? She catches my eye and quickly tries to dodge my glance. But I have already clocked her. Surely I wasn't this much of an embarrassment.

"Bebe?" I call and she looks up, pretending she hasn't yet seen me.

"Oh, hi Kenny." She gives a distracted wave.

"You going hiking?" I tease but she just ignores me. I was trying my best. We hadn't spoken properly since the crash and with Bebe's record with guys, it seemed we were going pretty much the same way as Stan and Wendy right now. I would grab her hand and walk with her proudly through the corridors but they were tucked tightly into the sleeves of her coat so there were no chances of that.

"No." She just mutters. "Are you going to rehab?"

"What?" I frown, giving a slight laugh.

"You're breath's enough to make me drunk." She tells me, sharply. Shit. "And you reek of spirits."

"Oh... Yeah." I nod, I had done the best I could to have a wash this morning, but our water had completely run out now and so I had resorted to using mom's make-up wipes, which clearly, weren't too effective. "Wild weekend."

"So I heard." She replies. "Stan told me what a state you were in. However, I am really sorry about your dad Ken."

"Don't be." I prompt her. "It's a blessing."

"Is it?" She gives me a look. "Your dad's dead and your mom's banged up. Who is going to earn an income now? It's clear you don't have any electricity or water and according to Kyle, your front door is... gone."

"Well we didn't earn an income anyway." I point out. "Dad did fuck all to earn a wage and mom gave up after her latest relapse. I was the one earning all the money for Karen and I."

"Yeah, until you got sacked for being drunk and disorderly." Bebe hisses, jeez, why was she being such a bitch? "Are you going to get another job now then?"

"Well I don't exactly have the best CV..." I trail off. "I'm hoping Kevin might grow a heart and lend us some, now that he is the _guardian_."

"Well your mom might be out soon." Bebe shrugs, knowing as well as I do that Kevin was not going to help out financially unless someone was holding a gun to his head. "You never know."

"Yeah right." I chortle. "That'll happen the day Cartman fits a size zero. No, she's in there for a while now. I might just help Kev sell the stash, he gets mint for it."

"No you fucking won't." Bebe stops in her tracks. "Over my dead body will I date a drug dealer."

Well that cleared one thing up; we were still _dating_.

 **Bebe PoV**

Homeroom was alive with chatter. Clyde was telling his gang of Token, Craig, Tweek and Jason how he _apparently_ met Selena Gomez at the weekend, which was without a doubt, bullshit as it was Clyde. It was clear that the only person who actually believed him was Tweek, as the others were all looking away; disinterested. Wendy was back finally but had segregated herself completely from the rest of the class, Stan in particular and was sat hunched over a book in the corner of the room. Stan didn't look particularly chirpier either and was sat in a similar position on the opposing side of the room. The hood of his brown coat pulled over his face to conceal his injuries. Kyle was sat next to him, babbling on about some games controller, unaware that Stan wasn't listening to a word he said. Butters was also talking to a large group of people; Timmy, Kevin, Lola, Douglas and Francis, about _My Little Pony_ or something equally as lame whilst the others flicked through comic books and occasionally nudged one another to point something out. Red was drawing up some kind of timetable over on the popular girls table; she seemed to take the leader role as both Wendy and I were absent. Heidi, Annie, Milly, Esther and Jenny were looking at it quizzically, whilst sipping _Slimfast_ milkshakes. The group of less popular girls were sitting not that far away from them, where Tammy and Emily were laughing at something on their phones. Lexus and Mercedes walk in late, high fiving Portia and the others and then flipping off the teacher when they get pounded on for being six minutes overdue.

Is this seriously what life has come to? I am sat here next to my pathetic boyfriend who stinks of alcohol, observing everyone else because I have nothing to do myself but worry about giant baby heads stretching out of me. I glance across to Kenny, worried he can read my mind. Are you ever scared to think about something because you feel like someone can pick up on it?

 **Kenny PoV**

I stare straight ahead, daring not to make eye contact with her so that I don't receive another lecture on my personal hygiene or alcohol consumption or childcare. But she is still staring at me, a worried look on her face, as if she is trying to read my mind. She was staring at me so intently; I tried to push my cravings for vodka out of my head. I felt as if she could sense what I was thinking. Are you ever scared to think about something because you feel like someone can pick up on it?

I slowly turn to face her, this was the only way she would stop shooting lasers into the side of my head and unsurprisingly she turns back to the front, immediately, as if pretending she wasn't staring at me for the past five minutes. There was so much tension built up between us, I felt like there was a wall of it separating our desks. We both sit there in silence, knowing neither of us were fooling the other, daring the opposing person to speak first.

"So..." I give in, my voice croaky from the sudden use of my throat. "What lesson do you have first?"

"Home economics." She replies, bluntly. I knew she had home economics first, I knew her time table off by heart, but it was my attempt at instigating a conversation and she was making no such effort back.

"Cool." I just nod and then mentally face-palm myself. Cool. _Cool_? That was the most un _-cool_ thing I could possibly say, ever. "I have product design."

"...Cool." She mimics and our awkward conversation was interrupted by Cartman's voice introducing the morning announcements. Oh shit, the morning announcements.

 **Bebe PoV**

Oh shit, the morning announcements. A surge of panic washes over me. I cross my fingers so tightly under the table that the bones feel as if they will snap. Cartman wouldn't, would he?

"Today lunch is a salmon fillet served with steamed vegetables." He blurts out. "Man, what is this, The Plaza? Kyle Broflovski a.k.a Jew Rat will be handing out leaflets today at lunch about Jew Scouts, a club he will be volunteering at with Francis for work experience. For any of you who are willing to end your life, go and collect a handout from him by the dinner hall."

"Dick-hole." I hear Kyle mutter.

"On Friday a guest speaker will be coming in to teach us all about the dangers of drink-driving. Oh hey, Kenny McCormick, I think you should put that down in your diary; if you can afford one." He chortles and I see Kenny roll his eyes. "Stan Marsh, the school councillor wants you to see him at some point on Wednesday most likely because you are acting like a depressed prick all of the time. Well done Wendy for pulling out of that one. Oh and also, in more minor news, Edward Cunningham from ninth grade, your dad is in a coma as of this morning due to a motorbike accident and Casey Miller, junior year, your dog has just died."

"Eric, we told you not to announce that publically!" I hear Principal Victoria's voice squeak faintly.

"So... sucks to be you guys." He continues, rudely. Great, everyone had been ripped on, now it was my turn. I squeeze my eyes closed, awaiting the harsh words that would come out of his mouth. How was he going to announce it? Would he string it out or just say it all-in-one? "That concludes today's session. These were the morning announcements and _I_ am Eric Cartman."

What? Why hadn't he said anything?

 **Kenny PoV**

"...Are you... ok?" I ask Bebe, noticing that she had her eyes firmly closed and her fingers tightly crossed. "...Bebe?"

"Yeah hi!" She suddenly looks up and I jump in my seat, which makes me feel dizzy again. "Everything is fine. Perfect. Everything is perfect as ever."

She gets up instantly and virtually runs out of the room as if she is about to hurl. What the fuck was going on with people?

 **Bebe PoV**

I flush the chain, watching as the disgusting looking substance is washed away by clear water. I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand, falling back against the wall of the cubicle and breathing a sigh of relief. I hated being sick, but I hated being pregnant more. The constant secrets, having to hide myself in clothing, the fear of giving birth, the fact that no one knew and the people who did know didn't seem to want to do anything about it. I was certain Cartman would have announced his discovery on the morning announcements and Wendy had pretty much been blanking me since our argument in the hallway. Why was she being such a bitch about it? She wasn't the one who was up the stick. In fact, she had no problems at all. Well, except for breaking up with lover-boy for no apparent reason. But that was nothing in comparison to what I was going through. I bet she broke up with him just to spite me, so that everyone would pay attention to her, give her sympathy, so that I had no one.

There was only one alternative; I had to tell someone else. The two essential people were my mother or Kenny. Trust me, I wasn't too hyped about letting either of them know. It wasn't really something you mention over your _Captain Crunch,_ this was big, it was going to kill my mother.

Mind you, maybe she was a safe bet, she had given birth to me at a young age. Granted, at first she hadn't wanted me and had passed me onto a foster family for a few years before taking me back, but at least she would understand the feeling. I could relate to her. She would understand.

But it would also kill her; kill her to know that her darling daughter, captain of the cheer squad, destined to be prom queen, future Miss America, was carrying a child at the age of seventeen. No, I couldn't do it to her, I couldn't let her down.

I would have the baby in secret. Yes, these things were on the television all the time. I could hide the pregnancy until I was due and then I would give birth somewhere private and put him on someone's doorstep. My mind suddenly drifts back to the sonogram and the beautiful baby I had seen on the screen; my baby boy.

No, I couldn't let it... _him_ , stand in the way of everything I had ever dreamed of. But I needed help if I was going to do this and the only person that could come from, was Kenny.

 **Kenny PoV**

Finally.

I bound through my open front doorway and reach the kitchen, pulling the cupboard door open so violently it falls right off into my hand. What is it with doors in this house? The hinge had been eroding anyway.

I was gasping for a drink. It was almost getting like an obsession. But every single time the liquid hits my tongue, I get a sense of freedom. I am teleported to a completely different place, where I am a completely different person. Where all my troubles just melt away and my insides feel like fire. It is refreshing, exciting. We were running low on spirits, I would have to convince Kevin to buy some more. Either way I unscrew the cap off a bottle of gin and raise it to my lips; sensations shooting through me as the bitter taste hits my tongue and cascades down my throat. I collapse on the couch, glugging from the bottle, unable to stop myself. I have to at one point because I know that otherwise I will get alcohol poisoning, my mom had suffered with that many times and I was pretty sure my dad lived with it constantly. That was most likely the reason for his death. I was more like him than I ever thought... I was turning into him. No, I couldn't be.

 _Give it a few years and you'll be lying next to his grave Kenny_. A voice whispers in my head and I take another sip to make it disappear. _You're no better than him; just another washed-up, self-loathing waste of space_.

So what if I was? He made me this way. He caused me this pain, him and mom. Kyle's family had the tradition of being Jewish, something they passed down through generations. Cartman's family were spoilt and obese. Stan's were all pretty musical. Wendy's were all intelligent and Bebe and her mom's lives revolved around beauty products. What did I have? Well, I didn't really have a mother and father anymore.

Poverty, overdose, early death. They were the things passed down through my generations. If I knew I wasn't coming back, I would have killed myself so long ago. I look longingly at mom's sleeping pills that still lay on the coffee table.

Would I ever die?

That was something that me and my father had not had in common; I couldn't die from this. I could drink myself into oblivion and still come back. Whoopee for me.

At this point I hear a muffled voice in the doorway and turn my head to see Bebe. I don't even bother trying to hide the bottle, instead I take another gulp of the drink, right in front of her. She stares at me, broken, tears brewing in her eyes. I could tell by her face that she was about to tell me some bad news.

"What?" I muster, slurring my words and then holding out the bottle. "You want some?"

She walks over to me slowly and hesitantly takes it from my fingers. "I can't." She whispers but takes a gulp all the same, pulling a face as it hits her taste buds. "Kenny, we need to talk."

"Is this national break-up week or something?" I ask her and she raises her head to look at me.

"That's not why I'm here." She takes another sip and then passes the bottle back to me. "I'm here for support, a few kind words from my _loving_ boyfriend. Not the drunken mess that I am now in a relationship with."

"Can you blame me?" I question her.

"No." She responds almost immediately, wringing her hands and staring down at the floor.

"Is it your dad?" I guess and she shakes her head. "Then, what?" I persist. "...Bebe?"

"I'm pregnant." She virtually whispers and the words hit me like a knife, knocking me back and sending my head into a dizzy downwards spiral.

"What?" I splutter as my head rebounds off the arm of the couch.

"You heard me." She spits.

We stay there in silence for what seems like a lifetime. I wonder whether to crack the _'you're joking right?'_ line, but I know there was no point in wasting my breath.

"...So there you go." Her voice cracks with pain. "Congratulations Mr. McCormick, you've got me well and truly up the duff."

"...When?" I muster, not being able to process her words in the state I was in.

"The crash. Tested and confirmed." She responds. "...Braxton Hicks apparently, that's what caused the stomach cramps... They're false contractions."

"The crash?" I repeat, angrily.

"I'm four months gone." She continues, side-stepping my comment. "A baby boy."

"Bebe, The crash?" I persist.

"Wendy was there when they told me." She carries on babbling. "It didn't-"

"SHUT UP!" I suddenly yell, throwing the empty bottle of gin with full force at the wall, where it smashes and falls to the floor. She stands there in silence, finally not trying to continue her story. Tears were pouring down her cheeks, she looked terrified. "YOU'VE KNOWN SINCE THE FUCKING CRASH? AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?"

"YOU'VE HAD YOUR OWN PROBLEMS!" She cries, trying to defend herself.

"YEAH SINCE THE WEEKEND, THE CRASH WAS WEEKS AGO!" I bellow and she takes a deep breath in, trying to calm the situation.

"...Kenny." She whispers. "You've been in a state; drinking, getting sacked, drinking some more."

"SO WHAT?" I spit at her, picking up the next thing to hand which was a glass bowl and hauling it at the wall.

"Stop it Kenny, you're scaring me now." She gasps, trying to hold her tears back.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?" I question, throwing mom's bottle of sleeping pills as they also smash and spill out onto the floor.

"KENNY STOP IT!" She yells and I grab her wrist out of anger, jerking her upwards. Her eyes suddenly fill with fear and she stands, frozen, like a rabbit caught in the headlights. I release her instantly once I realise what I am doing and she backs away until she is standing against the wall.

"I'm sorry." I hold my hands up. "I'm sorry... That reminded you of... him."

"Everything reminds me of him." She croaks, warily looking at me as if I am about to run at her. "I'd come home and he was drunk. He would flip out about everything. Throw things, yell at me, grab me, hurt me... Beat me."

"I didn't mean to-" I tell her. "Bebe I would never hurt you. You know that, right?"

She looks at me as if I was a stranger, eyeing me up and down, trust draining from her body. Her eyes dart from my fists, to my feet, to my own eyes. They meet there and she stares at me intently, slowly moving her head to nod at me. "I know."

She makes the first move; taking a few steps forward hesitantly. I let her slowly walk over to me, taking her time. I hold out my hand and she takes it when she reaches me. We stare into each other's eyes for a while and then she folds into my chest, warmth seeping over us. I hear her begin to cry into my hoodie and I hold her tighter than ever, swaying back and forth.

Protecting her.


	27. The Verdict

**Chapter 26:**

 ** _A/N: Hope the last chapter wasn't too much in one go, just really needed to get the Benny stuff out of the way and clear the path. Just a note; I certainly do not mean for any of Stan's PoV to be insulting to those in similar circumstances, I have and am dealing with the illness myself so please do not take it to heart. Thank you to those who reviewed, they really do help if you have the time to drop one in and give me the motivation to write more often!_**

 **Stan PoV**

"You wanted to see me, Mr Mackey." I greet without knocking on the door. He looks taken aback at my sudden appearance but offers me a seat all the same.

"Yes." He nods, chewing on a toffee whilst observing me. I am pretty certain he is studying my injuries so I pull my hood further over my face and bow my head to make a point. "...You seem, very low Stan."

"Call the cops." I mutter, with just the sound of his jaw on the toffee to guide me.

"I heard about your little falling out with Wendy Testaburger." He inserts and I raise my head to look at him.

" _'Little falling out'_?" I scoff. "We've been together nine fucking years!"

"Mind your language please." He scolds and I just roll my eyes. "Something tells me it wasn't just this... dispute which has caused you to feel like this. You appear to have been down for a while now."

"Yeah, because my face is smashed in." I state the obvious. "I'm hardly gonna be skipping down the corridors am I?"

"Your mother said you spend most of the time in your room." He continues, ignoring my sarcasm. "That was before the accident happened-"

"Wait, you've spoken to my mother about this?" I shout, angrily banging my fist on the table.

"We've been worried about you Stanley mmkay."

"You have no right!" I yell. "I'm fine, I'm absolutely fucking fine."

We stand in silence while he judges me, then coughs as he opens the drawer to his desk.

"Stan, have you ever been checked out?" He asks me.

"I'm captain of the football team, course I have." I tell him.

"No, I mean, checked out for anything..." He trails off. "At the doctors?"

"What do you mean?" I question.

"...Stan, have you heard of an illness called depression?" He continues, quietly, the words dropping off his tongue so slowly I could virtually see them.

"Well... Yeah." I shrug, Jeez, could he hurry this up already?

"...Do you know anything about depression?" He inquires and I roll my eyes.

"It makes you very sad." I say, bluntly. "Look, is there any point to this because I have practice in ten minutes?"

"I want you to have these." He hands over the leaflets and I study them. 'Finding out of you have depression'. 'How to control your low mood'. 'How to seek help for mental illness'.

"What exactly are these?" I spit, not liking what he was implying.

"Stan, mmkay, I think you should have a look through these leaflets and see whether anything applies to you."

Was he being serious? Was he actually insinuating that I had _'depression'_? That was just an excuse people used for being bored, pathetic, pricks. If they didn't want to go for run they would just say _'oh it's ok, I have depression_ '. Or if they can't hand their homework in on time; _'oh, sorry, it's because I have depression_ '.

Well at least I could admit I was a bored, pathetic prick and I didn't need excuses.

"No." I throw them back at him. "You can keep your shitty leaflets. I don't need help thank you."

"Stan." Mr Mackey tries to reason with me. "I'm just trying to make sure you're not going to do something stupid mmkay. If you-"

"The only stupid thing I would do, is miss football practice." I snap and then storm out without looking back. How dare he make these kinds of judgements? It was not his place to interpret my feelings. He had no idea what it was like.

I almost couldn't be bothered to go to football practice. I felt like curling up in a ball in the darkness, hating everything and everyone. I didn't feel like the star-quarterback anymore. Not now that my cheerleader girlfriend had dumped me and my face looked like something out of _Star Wars._ I just didn't feel like the same person I had been a few months back. Everything was changing so quickly and life was moving so fast. I couldn't handle all these decisions, all these life stories. Why couldn't it just stop?

 **Cartman PoV**

"Hey dudes." I greet the girls as I waddle over to them. Lexus gives me a slight wave before taking a drag on her cigarette. My eyes move to where Mercedes is sucking some guy off further up the wall. I wonder what they would do if they got found out? Clearly no one ever bothered to check behind the back of buildings.

"Mercedes is dealing with a regular." Lexus informs me. "But apart from that it's been pretty quiet, things will get busy as soon as people come out for recess after eating lunch though."

"I wish I could eat lunch." I mutter, my stomach rumbling at the thought. I had been weak yesterday and eaten a few squares of chocolate. Partly because I went so light headed and I really didn't want to pass out again and also because mom had been staring me down. It had made me feel so sick though, I wasn't used to the rich taste in my mouth. Plus I always get a queasy feeling in my stomach whenever I eat something now; I knew it was wrong and all the names just repeated themselves over and over.

"Oi you!" She suddenly yells. "Quit thinking about hamburgers and pay attention."

"Sorry." I tell her, snapping back to reality. "I was thinking about something else."

She hands me a cigarette and lights it up. I take a few smooth drags on it. I was getting good at this now; after the first few attempts you manage to stop coughing and spluttering. Plus, it helped with the emptiness; made me feel almost whole again.

"I'm having a party on Saturday if you want to come?" Portia suddenly pipes up.

"A party?" I repeat. It was a word I wasn't used to saying, considering I never got invited to any. It was a trend that started back in fourth grade, when the girls threw a stupid spoilt whore party; they invited everyone in the year, even Kyle, even Butters. I had to try and disguise myself to get in but of course, it didn't work. I think the huge watermelon belly gave it away.

"Yeah, house party." She beams. "…At my house."

"As if it wasn't _obvious_." Lexus drones.

"Portia's house is huge." Mercedes tells me, wiping her mouth and coming over to us whilst her satisfied customer zips up his pants and skips off. "She has a pool and everything."

"And we'll make sure you get lucky." Ferrari winks at me. Get lucky? This could be my chance. I was one of the remaining virgins in my year, I could have sex before Kyle. I can just imagine; rubbing it in, laughing in his Jew-ridden face, humiliating him in front of everyone. Like he had with me for my entire life. "...So, you'll come?"

"Yeah." I nod, smiling at them all. "I'll be there."

 **Wendy PoV**

I was having to push my thoughts of Stan or school work or Bebe's pregnancy aside for today. This day was about me, I made it sound like I was going on some luxury spa trip, but it was the complete opposite. This was no self-pamper day, this could be the worst day of my life.

I hated waiting rooms; the white walls, the quiet atmosphere, the constant ring of telephones going off in reception. The dodgy looks people give you and the wondering of why each person is here. Sick people; coughing in your face or into the magazines they are aimlessly flicking through. But most of all, I hated the waiting. Hearing someone else's name being called out on the overhead announcements. Waiting forever. Yet today of all days, it was killing me the most.

"Wendy Testaburger to room seventeen please." I suddenly hear a voice boom out. "That's Wendy Testaburger to room seventeen."

 _Shit_.

Ok now I didn't want to go. I get up slowly, all eyes staring at me, probably because I was on my own at a hospital when I should be at school. I had imitated my mom's voice on the phone, telling the school I was sick today and couldn't come in. I was very good at impressions. I only realise how much I am shaking as I make my way down the corridor, finding it extremely tiring to move one leg in front of another.

I knock lightly on the door, knowing that if I didn't do it now, I would never do it.

"...Hello." I realise how croaky my voice is when I greet her.

"Take a seat Wendy." Doctor Kuro tells me, seriously and points to a chair. I hesitate before sitting down on it, trying to read her expression. "We've studied all the scans we took and researched any information you have given us. We've had second and third opinions from doctors..."

"And?" I persist. I didn't know why, because I could see it now in her face. My heart had stopped beating; praying that the words wouldn't come out of her mouth. Watching her so carefully I thought I'd slice her skull in half with the beams from my eyes.

"...Wendy... It's not good news." I see her lips move but no sound comes out. Her eyes focused carefully on me. Everything has gone dull and lifeless. "You have stage 2A breast cancer."

I continue to see her lips move up and down, forming the words. My sight began to blur, zoning out of everything. There was a faint, consistent beep in both of my ears that was drowning the sound out. I try to open my mouth to speak but it feels like it is filled with a heap of sand, no words spring to mind, no words can form inside.

It's when I feel her hand on my knee that I suddenly spring back to reality. The warmth shoots through me like a bullet, waking me up, bringing me back to life. I finally manage to blink; my eyes sore and dry from keeping them open for too long. They begin to water, whether it was tears or a reflex action I didn't know. Maybe both.

"I um..." I gulp, trying to create some saliva so that my mouth doesn't remain glued shut. "I... Just don't..."

"We are going to offer you all the help we can." She meets my eyes as I raise my head. "I need you to know that this is not the end. Ok? It's stage 2A, so it hasn't spread very far yet. Survival rates past ten years at this stage are around 85%, so the sooner we operate the better the outcome. However, we will have to consider the chances of it ever coming back, so we will discuss the idea of mastectomy; removal of the breasts. Sorry, I'm probably filling your head with so much at once..."

Survival rates? Operate? Mastectomy? The words were flying round my head like wasps, stinging me every time I thought about one.

"...I won't bother you with any more information right now." She looks at me, concerned. "But I do stress that you let someone know. You did the right thing coming to us when you did, if you had left it any later, it could have been more serious."

"Yeah..." I mutter. "Thanks."

"We'll be in touch very soon about what we plan on doing next." She explains. "As I said earlier, the sooner we operate the better the outcome. So please don't be in denial about this, we need to act as soon as possible... Are you going to be ok?"

"I suppose." Is all I can mumble and then taking my cue to rise and exit through the door. I stand there, staring at the white wall opposite me, transfixed as if I was in some sort of parallel universe. Was this really happening?

I cover my mouth with my hand to prevent myself from screaming out. Tears cloud my eyes as I bite into the flesh, so hard that beads of bright red blood appear. I lean back against the wall, hyperventilating as a crowd of doctors run towards me, grabbing me by my arms or legs. Until everything disappears into darkness.


	28. Sleepless Nights

**Chapter 27:**

 **A/N: There's gonna be a bit of a two part chapter going on here, especially where Cartman is concerned. Also, the lyrics in Wendy's PoV are from a song I wrote with my friend, if you want to check it out, take a look; watch?v=1h8LG2HhacQ. It would be much appreciated:)**

 **Kyle PoV**

I could hardly see anything it was so dark, the snow was cold beneath my feet, so cold it was almost warm. I was feeling my way with my hands because I could only see buildings very faintly in the thick of the night. This was a stupid idea Kyle, a very stupid idea.

But I had to reach him, I knew that even if I caught hypothermia or got hit by a car right now, I will have died trying to get to him. I call out his name but there is no response. Again and again. My voice was echoing against the midnight air, cutting through the chill like a sharp blade. I was going to wake everyone up by yelling this one word. But I didn't care.

Something suddenly lights up the path in front of me. I rub my eyes to get used to the sudden illusion, blinking several times through the blinding light. But it wasn't a light. It was him.

"Kyle?" I hear him say, wincing through the darkness.

"Stan?" I reply, my voice hoarse from all the shouting. He reaches out his hand and I take it. His palm was warm against my frozen flesh, pulling me up and towards him.

"What are you doing?" He asks me, concern in his face. He studies me carefully as no words come out. What was I doing? Why was I here?

"I um..." I stutter. "I just..."

"Are you ok?" He puts his hand on my shoulder, sending sparks through my skin and all through my body. "Kyle?"

"I just..." I stammer. "...Needed to... Find you."

"Well you've found me." He grins and we stare at each other for a while, a smile also appearing on my face to mirror his. Suddenly the chill of the air disappeared and I was surrounded by warmth and comfort. I stare into his eyes. Those big blue eyes which I had always depended on since Kindergarten. There is complete silence as any hurt I ever felt melts away and is replaced by this moment, right here, it was all I ever wanted.

"...Stan?" I open my mouth to say something but before I can, he is leaning in. His hand gently touching my cheek, pulling me closer. I feel his lips; soft and warm against mine as they connect. My mouth feels alive, my heart begins to glow, time stands still as he very slowly clasps my bottom lip between his. I join him, finding it easier than I expected, Stan leading the way as I become one with him.

I sit bolt upright.

It takes me a second to register where I was, but it is the _Moop_ poster that I made in fourth grade that gives it away. My bedroom. What the fuck had just happened?

I rub my eyes to check I was back in reality. Panic was surging through my body but it made me feel... excited. I was shaking so vigorously. What was this feeling?

I reach down to the crotch of my pyjamas and feel a patch of wet. Shit. I hadn't wet the bed had I? Surely not, I hadn't done that since... _Seventh_ grade...

No, there wasn't enough of it for it to be pee. I feel around and notice that I feel incredibly tingly, almost like after I have masterbated... like the sparks that had been shooting through my body in the dream. The dream. I think back to it and remember snow, beneath my feet. I had been sodden from the damp night air, perhaps that was why...

Stan. I remember seeing his face, reaching his hand pull me up, feeling his lips against mine. Soft, gentle, passionate.

WHAT THE FUCK? I almost shout, shaking my head to clear the image. Why the hell had I been dreaming about Stan... Especially... Like that... I have to reach my hand to my chest to check that my heart was still beating, as everything was so silent. Like it had been that night, outside, just me and him.

STOP IT KYLE! I think, smacking myself hard in the face as a punishment. I stop hitting myself and turn to look at my alarm clock. Five in the morning. Great, at least it was Saturday so there was no rush to get up. I fall back onto my pillows and just stare up to the ceiling. Well that was weird... That was _very_ weird.

 **Wendy PoV**

I had been staring at my clock all night, watching as the seconds ticked by. I couldn't sleep. Well, how could I? What was the point in sleeping? I may be sleeping for eternity sooner than I thought...

I squeeze my eyes shut and try to forget about it. Which was an impossible thing to do. I was just glad that the hospital hadn't contacted my parents after my... scene a few days ago. I woke up wishing I was dreaming and I hadn't slept since.

It was now half past seven and I had told Craig I would be at his for eight. Why he wanted me there so early on a Saturday, I didn't know. I really did not feel up to doing anything right now. But I knew that if I cancelled on him, he would think something was up. Plus I had already let him down once because of an appointment so had postponed it until now.

The worst thing about it was the topic, how I was going to sing and write about... it, I didn't know. But I would just have to grin through the pain and put up with it for a few hours. I was strong, I had always been tough and I was used to putting on a front, so I just had to put all of this into practice today.

I reach to feel the lump on my breast, the one I had run my fingers over so many times. It was spreading, every second I spent lying here, doing nothing, the cancer was spreading. I needed to do something about it, fast.

Half an hour later and I was standing outside Craig's wooden front door, ringing the bell with full force. He appears almost instantly; washed, dressed, a smile on his face. It did not match my facial area, which consisted of purple bags under my eyes and no make-up. I can see in his eyes for a split second that he is taken-aback by my appearance, but he doesn't comment on it and instead invites me inside.

"I thought you'd bail on me." He grins, as I follow him through to the kitchen.

"How come?" I muster, my mouth incredibly dry, so I was grateful when he offers me a glass of water.

"It's hardly the most exciting way to spend a Saturday, is it?" He chuckles to himself.

"Well I have no other plans." I respond. "How come so early?"

"Sorry... Is it a problem?" He asks. "It's just because my mom is always out doing her shift at this time in the morning so the house is empty."

"That sounds ominous..." I give a slight smile. "But it's not a problem at all, I didn't really sleep..." I indicate to my face. "As you can probably tell."

"Why?" He questions, pulling a pile of sheet music out of a box on the kitchen table.

"Oh just... A rough night." I lie, but it seems to convince him because he doesn't question me further.

"Right well, I think I've pretty much got the basic accompaniment sorted, melody is in place and lyrics are written." He explains as he sits down at the piano. "All thanks to you."

"I did nothing." I brush him off.

"So, do you want to go through it once?" He studies me. "I'll sing with you if you like, the first time so you can get the hang of it. I think you know the tune, it's just getting it in time with the piano."

I nod at him, not saying a word. He begins to play the introduction to the song; a sad, slow but beautiful melody.

"...All you want to ask is why, never want to say goodbye. Everyone wants to think it's ages from now." I begin to sing, my voice was wavering but I tried to cover it up. "Thinking you're not at the age, to put a full stop on the page. But you're still being forced to take the final bow..."

I stop singing for a second but Craig continues, as if nothing is wrong.

"There's no one to say your future lies before you... Stuck with counting down the days that dreams are crushed black and blue." My voice suddenly cracks as tears gush down my face. I wipe them away instantly as a reflex action but Craig already knows something is up. He stops playing and turns to face me, seeing me wipe the last tear from my cheek. I hold them back with all the force I have. _Not now Wendy, not now_.

"...Are you ok?" He asks me and I can see the concern in his eyes. I nod vigorously, worried that if I tried to say anything, the tears might start flooding again.

"Yeah, I'm just... A bit unsure of the next part." I manage to muster. "Can you sing this bit?"

"Uh... Yeah." He shrugs, hesitating before turning around again.

"Everyone wants to go to heaven but no one wants to die." His voice belts out. "If there were unlimited wishes, they'd all be to never see you cry."

Just the mention of the word cry makes he tears fall again. I had been wrong, I couldn't handle this. There was no point in trying to be all defensive and tough. I just needed to get out of here. I grab my coat and head towards the door as I hear Craig turn in his chair again.

"Wendy, talk to me." I hear his voice, soft and gentle from behind me. "I can tell something is up. Whatever it is... Maybe I can help."

"No one can help." I croak, my eyes glued to the door as I stand frozen to the spot, clouding over with a fresh set of tears.

"...Why?" He pauses and I take a deep breath.

"...I have cancer." The words roll off my tongue before I can stop them. There is a very long silence, so I decide to fill it with another set of words. "... _Breast_ cancer."

I wait for what seems like eternity before turning round, very slowly, to face him. He is staring straight at me, complete shock written all over his face. Pretty much the same expression I had shown when I had been told.

"I um..." He stammers, closing the lid to the piano and rising to come over to me. "...When?"

"I found out this week." I inform him. "But I got checked out a few weeks ago... No one else knows..." I start and before I know it, I am blurting out everything I haven't been able to tell anyone. "I don't know how I'm going to tell my parents, or Stan or Bebe. I don't know what to do, it's all happened so fast. I just feel so alone with it all... I don't really understand... How... And why me? Why did it have to be _me_?"

"...Because you are strong." He tells me, I can see he is close to crying too, but he is fighting it back for me. "It's only the strongest people who get hurt, because they are the ones who come back fighting."

I raise my head to meet his eyes, gently shaking it back and forth as tears slide down my cheeks.

"...I'm so scared." I whisper and he immediately pulls me into a hug, his body warm and safe, somewhere I could stay forever.

 **Cartman PoV**

The last party I had been to was Butters' ' _Care Bear's'_ birthday party last September, the one before that was... Butters' _Disney_ dress up party... The September before that... Basically I only really ever got invited to Butters' birthday parties and the only reason I went was because firstly, no one else went, so a tiny part of me felt sorry for him (just a tiny part). Secondly, his mom made awesome birthday cakes (so I probably wouldn't be attending next year). Lastly, his birthday was on September Eleventh, which was a very unfortunate date, but it also meant I didn't have to watch the documentaries with my mother... It was mainly the second option.

But here I was, knocking on the door of Portia's house, present in my hand, without having to disguise myself as someone else.

"...Hi." A tall dark haired boy answered the door.

"...Hi." I reply, trying to understand why he wasn't moving aside. "Can I come in?"

"Who invited you?" He observes me, rudely. I can see his abs through his T-shirt.

"Um... Portia?" I frown and he begins to laugh.

"Yeah right! Like Portia would invite someone like you!" He seems to find this hilarious and I sigh as it begins to get chilly on the doorstep. "PORTIA?" He suddenly yells into the noise of the party. "SOME FAT KID SAID YOU INVITED HIM!"

"Cartman?" I hear her voice before her face appears at the door and roll my eyes. Yep, that was me, the 'fat kid' of South Park. "Oh hey."

"Hi Portia, this dick wouldn't let me in." I tell her.

"Oh I know, he can be such a tease." She giggles and then turns to snog his face off. I wait patiently while they play tonsil tennis, trying to pick up some tips for when I get laid tonight.

"Right... Well." I mutter, once they have pulled away. "I got you a present... I didn't really know what to get you as I didn't have much time... But I thought a dildo would suit you nicely... Although you already have tons, I'm sure... I didn't really buy it though, it's my moms... I mean, it's unused... Still in the packaging... Yeah."

"...It's not my birthday." She replies, bluntly and the creepy but hot guy starts laughing again. "I'm just having a party. But thanks, this will come in handy."

She takes it off me and walks back into the party, clearing some space for me to get through.

I wander in, hands in my pants pockets to try and look cool. I had gone down two sizes, so I was feeling pretty good despite the sinking feeling in my stomach. It sinks even more when I see the long table of food that is laid out in the large living room. There were many very attractive girls and boys dancing in there, including Portia and the twat who had just screwed me over, so I knew I wouldn't really fit in. I head on outside, where there is a large heated swimming pool, a dance floor and a gazebo where several people are sat smoking. There are people dancing round by the pool too, but not as many as there were in the living room. They were a bit less attractive out here though, so I was more likely to pull one of them. Except for one girl... My eyes fall on Lexus, who is helping herself to shots that are on a nearby table.

"Lexus, hi!" I greet her, glad to actually know someone. She turns to face me, looking pretty together considering she was necking shots. I suppose she had undertaken a lot of practice.

"Hey cutie." She waves. For a second I think she is hitting on me, but then I remember that she says that to everyone; it was a habit she had picked up from Raisins. I study her up and down in her black mini skirt and purple tank top, stilettos on her feet. How did Butters think he could ever pull her? He was such a douchebag... "You did come then?"

"Well yeah, why wouldn't I?" I ask her and she just shrugs, offering me a shot. Ah, this was the issue with coming here; alcohol made you put on weight. "Sorry, I can't."

"Why?" She giggles, waving it under my nose. "You come to a party and take no shots? What are you, an amateur?"

"Ha... No..." I lie.

"Come on you lightweight!" She teases. "Lighten up! Do shots with me."

Ok, my name was Eric Cartman. The tub of lard that walked the streets of South Park. Yet here I was, alone with a drop dead gorgeous, sexy girl, who wanted to do shots with me and I was rejecting her?

"Oh what the hell?" I laugh, taking the shot from her and throwing it back all in one. I had no idea what it was, but it made my eyes water like crazy. It tasted like I was drinking wallpaper stripper... Not that I knew what that tasted like, but I could imagine it was something like this. "Eugh! That tastes like poison!"

"Tell me about it." She grins, seemingly not affected by it when I felt light-headed already. Probably because after weeks of eating nothing, this deadly substance had just rocketed through my body. "It's effective though."

"...Clearly." I study her, she must have had at least seven.

"Another?" She raises another shot glass to my lips and begins to count down. What the hell? This was a once in a lifetime opportunity for me!


	29. Party of the Year

**Chapter 28:**

 ** _A/N: I've decided to do this party over several chapters as there's going to be lots of drama going on._**

 **Stan PoV**

"Mom, I'm off to this party." I yell. Going to a party was the last thing I wanted to do right now but I needed a way to get over Wendy and I was sure this would be an easy option. It was a party held by one of the Raisins girls however, so pulling would be a doss. Especially considering I dated Wendy Testaburger; the girl who every guy wanted. Girls would be throwing themselves at me...

Yeah right. I was a walking disaster. I looked like a tester for the special effects make-up on Doctor Who. I was just trying to kid myself. If I was gonna pull tonight, it would be someone like Lisa Burger... Who I doubt would be there anyway.

I arrive at Portia's door. It is a huge house on the edge of town, next to Token's. She had only recently moved there a few years back as she had been living in the Raisins flat until it got closed down. I had never seen her parents, I wondered if she even had any. Probably not, from the sounds of the noise that was coming from inside.

"...Yeah?" A guy rudely answers the door, clearly examining my face before anything else.

"Stan Marsh." I tell him.

"Who invited you?" He snaps.

"Clyde Donovan." I inform him.

"Come on in." He steps to the side. The upshot of having a bashed up face was that it made me look hard; like I had got into some sort of fight... Well... I had. To be fair, it wasn't that bad now, just a few cuts and scrapes, but it still made me extremely self-conscious.

"Stanny!" I immediately hear a high, squeaky voice and I spin around immediately. For a second, I wonder if it is Wendy, because that was what she always called me. My eyes meet Red, who is standing in front of me, clearly with a stomach full of vodka.

"Um... Hi?" I mutter. I had only spoken to Red a few times, most of them concerning Wendy. So why she was being so friendly towards me I didn't know.

"I didn't know you were coming." She beams, offering me the bottle she was holding. "Whiskey." She studies my confused expression.

"...Why have you brought whiskey to a party?" I frown.

"Gets you drunk doesn't it?" She exclaims.

"...Clearly." I groan, washing the liquid down my throat and pulling a face.

"Oh Stanny, you're so funny!" She hangs off my arm, virtually drooling on me.

"...Yeah." I frown, finally at the realisation that she was trying to pull me. "Hey, is Wendy here?"

"You need to forget about Wendy." She covers my mouth as she slurs her words, taking another gulp from the bottle. "But no, she's not here."

"Oh..." I respond, trying to remain upright whilst she pulled me down.

"What you need is a rebound." She grins and I finally turn to look at her. She was pretty; bright red hair falling over her face and green eyes. She was more than I was expecting to pull...

"Yeah?" I keep my eyes fixed on hers and she finally stands upright, leaning against the wall. She moves the hair away from her face as I lean in, meeting my tongue with hers and carefully massaging it. I had only ever kissed one girl; Wendy, so this was very different. She was a bit more forceful, but passionate, her lips tasting like pear wine. Wendy slips out of my head and I focus on her, her soft red locks between my fingers, her smooth skin beneath my other hand.

After about two minutes, she pulls away. Great, I had done something wrong.

"Let's go upstairs." She links her hand with mine. Jeez, she was eager.

"Um... I don't think..." I trail off, not having an excuse for this one.

"Come on Stan! Live a little." She giggles, kissing me on the lips and then moving in close to me. Her hand moves gently over my crotch, in a circular motion. Oh God, don't do this to me here.

"Ok, ok." I tell her, moving her hand away. "We'll go upstairs."

She virtually drags me up the stairs; it was a huge house with many bedrooms. I was a bit bewildered considering I was being dragged to bed by the first girl I clapped eyes on. I haven't even seen anyone else yet. She knocks on one of the bedroom doors without a red scarf on it and when there is no response, pulls me into it.

"Can I just... Before we..." I trail off as she sits down cross legged on the bed. "I haven't..."

"With anyone else but Wendy." She finishes my sentence, biting her lip. "Yeah I know."

"How?" I ask her.

"You kiss exactly like her; it's obvious you've picked up all her tactics." She informs me.

"...You've kissed Wendy?" I question.

"Well yeah..." She laughs. "Everyone's kissed everyone in our group! Wendy three, Heidi six, Esther twice, Lola seven, Jenny four, Bebe twelve..."

"Twelve?" I exclaim. "I mean, ok, I get the point... Let's just put all of them out of our heads for now... Ok?"

"I will if you will." She smiles as I move in closer, sitting down next to her on the bed and our lips meet again.

 **Bebe PoV**

"Hi... You still haven't got the door fixed then?" I call into Kenny's house.

"Why does everyone keep banging on about that fucking door?" He replies, angrily as he knots his tie the wrong way.

"Here let me do it." I tell him and walk over to tie it neatly.

"...This is my dad's." He mumbles. "I'm only using it because I don't have one... I'm surprised he does to be fair."

"Kenny, it's all going to be fine." I kiss him on the lips. "I promise."

I was pretty certain there was only going to be the three of us at Stuart's funeral; Kenny, Karen and I. Kevin was busy as his favourite TV programme was on and he had to go and watch it down at Skeeters, as the TV here had completely cut out.

My phone begins to ring and I pull it out of my handbag. "Remind me to put that on silent." I say before answering. "Hello?"

"Bebe, hi." I hear Heidi's voice pick up. "Are you coming tonight?"

"Coming where?" I ask.

"Portia's party." She replies, bluntly. "Didn't you know about it?"

"Parties are the last of my worries right now Heidi." I tell her. "...I'm burying my boyfriend's dad tonight."

"What's going on?" Kenny pokes me in the arm.

"Well you need to get over here." She exclaims, was she thick?

"...I'm burying my boyfriend's dad tonight."  
I repeat.

"Oi, what's happening?" He jabs me harder.

"This is the biggest party of the year Be!" She virtually screams. "Stan and Red are having sex!"

"HEIDI, I DON'T-" I begin. "...Wait, Stan and Red are having sex?"

"Stan and Red are having sex?" Kenny echoes.

"Stan and Red are having sex?" Karen asks innocently as she enters the room.

"...So I think we've clarified that Stan and Red are having sex." Heidi pipes up after a long pause.

"Wait, how do you even know?" I question her.

"Erm... Because they were just making out in the hallway and then she dragged him upstairs." She informs me. "She was feeling his dick and everything."

"Too much information." I mutter. "Anyway, sorry Heidi but we're busy tonight."

"Wait, no." Kenny whines. "If it's such a great party, we should go."

"It's your dad's funeral." I turn to him and he just shrugs. "Plus I don't think you need any more alcohol in your system."

"Bebe, come on!" He moans. "It's how my dad would want me to celebrate."

"What?" I frown. "Getting wasted?"

"Yes." He replies bluntly. "It's how he spent most of his life."

"Well what are we supposed to do about Karen?" I sigh, knowing it was no use trying to convince him.

"I can come." She beams.

"No."

"No." We both confirm.

"Please?" She begs.

"No!" We both chorus.

"Kenny." I turn to him. "Let's be grown up about this ok? Your dad is being buried today."

"Yes, in a cardboard coffin." He rolls his eyes.

"How do you think _he'd_ feel if he knew you weren't going?" I interrogate him.

"...He wouldn't care." He shrugs.

"Well then what if it was _your_ funeral and he didn't turn up?" I continue.

"...Well that would be nothing out of the ordinary." He starts to laugh and I immediately know what he is referring to. Kenny had only had four funerals following his death's, the others had not clearly mattered to his parents. Stuart had attended once when he died of syphilis, another time when he killed himself as a result of auto-erotic asphyxiation, when he combusted and obviously when he died of terminal illness. Of course, the only people who remembered these funerals were Carol, Stuart, Karen and I, although I wouldn't have remembered at the time. I'd started to have nightmares when I first started talking to Kenny; he had sat next to me in several classes last year and I confided in him about the abuse. He told me that it wasn't nightmares I was having, but visions and that his sister had the same. After a while of thinking it through, the memories began to come back and we both opened up to each other about our pasts, hence why we built up the bond of trust that we had. I felt different with Kenny than with anyone else I had ever been with. I loved him and that was a word I didn't use often.

 **Wendy PoV**

"Thank you." I smile at him once I finally have the strength to let go. I had spent the entire day at Craig's, mainly consisting of me crying and him holding me.

"Don't mention it." He wipes the tears off my cheeks and kisses me on the forehead. "Hey, how do you say we get out of here?"

"What do you mean?" I ask, pulling myself back together.

"Well you need to have some fun, take things off your mind." He beams. "Portia's party is tonight."

"Oh yeah, I heard about that." I ponder. "Milly wouldn't shut up about it the other day."

"Well we don't have to go." He tells me, suddenly flustered. "I mean, you're probably not up for it right now. We could just chill here, watch films or something."

"No it might be nice to get out." I sigh, brushing my hair through with my fingers.

"...Stan might be there." He warns me.

"Yeah well... I think I need to talk to Stan." I contemplate. "Maybe we can sort things out... I need him more than ever now..."

"Fair enough." He nods. "Shall we get going then?"

I nod and then gather myself before following him out of the door. I just needed to find Stan, if I could tell him everything, maybe he would forgive me...


	30. Accusation Wars

**Chapter 29:  
** **  
** ** _Trigger warning: Sexual content in this chapter._** ****

 **Kyle PoV**

"Who invited you?" A tall guy virtually spits in my face. I could smell the alcohol on his breath before he even opened his mouth. Trust me to arrive when the party had already kicked off, fucking Ike getting me to test him on his equations.

"Well let's see." I mutter. "Portia invited Mercedes, who invited one of her customers, who invited Casey Miller, who invited Butters, who invited Kevin, who invited Lola, who invited Annie, who invited Nicole, who invited Token, who invited me."

There is a long pause as the guy takes another slurp from his bottle of beer.

"Bullshit." He finally confirms and I roll my eyes.

"Oh Jesus!" I suddenly hear a high pitched scream from behind me. "Kyle, oh Jesus!"

I turn to see Tweek running towards the doorway.

"Tweek?" I frown. "What's the matter?"

"My boyfriend likes girls!" He screeches, shaking uncontrollably before pushing his way through the tall guy and me, knocking him against the wall.

"Thanks." I step over him cautiously and follow Tweek up the corridor.

"STAN?" He continues to squeal. "Where's Stan?"

"Having sex with Red." Esther replies.

"OH JESUS!" He yells and runs outside.

"What's up with him?" Esther comes over to ask me and I just shrug. I had bigger things on my mind now; Stan was having sex with Red?

"Where's Stan?" I question her.

"...Didn't you hear me?" She giggles. "Having sex with Red."

"Where?" I persist.

"Why? Do you want to go and join in?" She breaks into fits of laughter before walking off.

 _...Yes. No._ I slap myself in the head. Stop _being such an idiot Kyle._

Red though? Red? Rebecca? He had only just broken up with Wendy. He didn't waste much time...

 **Cartman PoV**

I couldn't tell whether I was dreaming. Everything was spinning. Noise was echoing.

"Woo!" Lexus cheers, throwing her arms around me.

"I think I may be drunk." I slur, leaning up against the wall.

"Good." She giggles and the world suddenly stands still when I see her looking into my eyes. Was this actually happening? To me? I study her carefully. Did she want me to kiss her? I was desperate to go in for a kiss but I firstly, didn't want her to reject me and secondly I didn't know... how to do it... "How many signals do I have to send out?"

"What?" I reply abruptly as she twirls her hair round her finger.

"Cartman, I've been all over you all night." She laughs. "Take the hint."

Ok well that confirmed my question. She quickly presses her lips against mine and I slip into a mind I had never known. It was warm and pretty easy once I got into it. Her tongue lead the way; gently massaging mine.

Then she pulls away. Shit, I'd done something wrong.

"Come with me." She whispers in my ear and links her hand with mine. She leads me through the kitchen where couples were making out and up the stairs.

"Why are red scarves on some of the doors?" I ask, although that wasn't really the main question on my mind right now.

"They're the occupied rooms." She tells me, pulling me into a room next to one with a red scarf. It was like a fucking hotel. As soon as she's tied the scarf round the door handle, she closes it behind her and pushes me up against the wall. Ok, now I was scared. This was crazy. Was it actually happening?

"Lexus stop." I panic suddenly and she draws away.

"What's up?" She questions, sweetly.

"...Well I've..." I stutter, what was I doing? "...I've never... Really..."

"Done this before." She finishes my sentence. "I know."

"...How?" I frown.

"I can always tell an amateur." She giggles. "From the second you walked over and asked to hang out with us."

"Oh..." I nod. "But you still want to... You know?"

"I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to cutie. Besides, it's my job." She smiles and moves over kiss me again.

 _Ok well if it was her job...  
_

 **Kenny PoV**

We reach Portia's house and stop outside the front door. I exchange a look with Bebe. We both knew this was the wrong idea; she was pregnant and I couldn't stop drinking, plus it was supposed to be my father's funeral. But we were here now. I knock uneasily on the door.

"Hi. Who invited you?" A guy immediately answers the door and then peers behind me. "Oh Bebe! In you come."

"Thanks." She beams, sarcastically. Well that was the perks of having an extremely popular girlfriend, I was pretty certain she knew everyone in South Park and Denver put together. Actually, it seemed as if the whole population of teenagers from South Park and Denver were here. The rooms were crammed full of drunk girls and guys, who were all either getting off with one another or dancing around. I head over to a long table stacked with drinks and collect two bottles of beer. I hand one to Bebe and am then faced with a look of annoyance.

"Oh yeah." I mutter, putting hers back down on the table. I hesitate before putting mine down too.

"Kenny you don't have to-" She starts.

"No, it's fine." I wrap my arms around her. "It's not fair on you... Besides, you're right. It's not a good idea for me to be drinking. I've been putting away a lot more than I can handle."

"...You've only just realised." She giggles.

"Listen ok?" I whisper, looking round the room to check no one was listening. "You, me and this little thing..."

"Thing?" She repeats, raising her eyebrows.

"Baby..." I correct myself and she puts a finger to her lips. "...We are gonna be a family ok?"

She stares at me in silence, eyes locked on mine.

"...You're serious?" She whispers.

"Deadly." I confirm and she hesitates before smiling, I kiss her lightly on the lips and then she moves into me, leaning into my chest.

 **Stan PoV**

 _Was this actually happening_? I feel her breasts against my chest; warm and passionate. Her lips were soft as they moved against mine; her tongue gliding through my mouth with ease. Jeez, she has had practice at this.

She had been eager to remove her clothing, however, I still had my pants on, despite her un-buttoning my shirt with her teeth.

Red was obviously very drunk; firstly, she was sleeping with me and secondly she was practically gagging for this.

What was I doing? I couldn't do this to her, she was virtually out of it. Plus, I still loved Wendy, I think I would for a very long time. It was wrong just using Red as a rebound, especially when she was in this state.

"Red." I mumble. "Stop Red."

"Why?" She whispers in my ear, beginning to lick it seductively.

"Because it's wrong." I tell her.

"Yeah, but that's why it's good." She mutters, lustily.

"Red!" I push her off me lightly and she rolls onto her side, giggling. "Listen to me ok? You're beautiful, you really are. But you're completely wasted and I don't want to take advantage of that. Plus... We know why I'm doing this."

"And I've said I'm fine with it." She bites her lip, lying on her front.

"Yes but I'm not." I shush her, smoothing back her scarlet hair.

 **Wendy PoV**

The party was buzzing, everyone was in high spirits. Laughing, drinking, dancing.

Except for me.

I had too much on my mind to enjoy any of those things. Well actually only two things; breast cancer and Stan. However only one of those issues could be sorted tonight and I was determined to put things right.

"Nicole, any ideas where Stan is?" I land my eyes on the first couple I see, where she is making out with Token. I didn't even feel bad for breaking them apart.

"Um..." She looks at me shiftily, exchanging looks with Token. "...No, sorry."

 _Well that was odd._

"Clyde?" I prod him in the back, like he did to me in homeroom every day. "Where's Stan?"

"Clyde, don't!" I hear Heidi pipe up, coming over and throwing a hand over his mouth.

"...What?" I study their worried expressions. "What's going on?"

 **Cartman PoV**

I lie back on the pillows, head spinning, heart pounding, lungs panting.

"That was..." I sigh, staring up at the ceiling.

"Yeah well, I have my uses." Lexus winks at me and I turn to look at her. I don't know what to do now; do I thank her or run away? "You don't have to say anything."

"Oh good." I smile, wondering if she could read my mind.

"But don't go thinking this makes us... Anything, like that Butters kid you're friends with." She explains.

"Don't worry, I've gathered from many years experience." I scoff.

"...You'll find someone." Lexus tells me. "I think you're a good guy."

"And _I think_ you'd be in the minority there." I laugh and we lie in silence until I hear voices sound from next door.

"WHAT SO I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU? IS THAT IT?" I hear Red's voice yell and then a crash as something is thrown at the wall. I exchange a glance with Lexus and she pulls a face.

"NO, RED, I'M NOT SAYING THAT." I suddenly hear Stan's voice sound. "Just... Put your bra on, please!"

"Stan?" I say out loud and immediately leap out of bed half naked. I am joined in the hallway by a large group of people, consisting of Clyde, Token, Nicole, Heidi and Milly. Wendy is storming up the stairs behind them, closely followed by Craig.

"Move!" She yells and kicks open the door without knocking. Jesus... She was feisty.

 **Wendy PoV**

My eyes meet the scene in front of me; my ex boyfriend and one of my best friends, sitting upright on the bed, Red completely naked.

"What the fuck?" I whisper as I feel Craig's hand on my shoulder. "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?"

"Nothing." Stan holds his hands up. "Absolutely nothing, I swear Wendy."

"WELL IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE NOTHING!" I scream at him and Red rolls over onto her side laughing hysterically. What a bitch.

"Why are you cheating?" Cartman frowns, who was also wearing very minimal clothing.

"CHEATING!" I suddenly hear Tweek's voice as he runs up the stairs behind us all, followed by Kyle. "I SAW THEM CHEATING!"

"What?" I turn to Tweek. " _You_ saw them?"

"No!" He twitches. "I saw you!"

"What?" Stan frowns.

"YOU AND MY BOYFRIEND!" He yells, running at me and having to be held back by Kyle. "THROUGH THE WINDOW!"

"TWEEK, JUST CALM DOWN WON'T YOU?" Kyle tries to shut him up.

"YOU AND CRAIG?" Stan jumps up.

"Hold, on! Nothing has happened between me and Craig!" I argue.

"BITCH!" Tweek squeals.

"Why are you trying to turn this round on me?" I spit at Stan, blanking Tweek's insults.

"Tweek, what the hell are you on about?" Craig questions him.

"I saw you two, hugging." He wails.

"Hugging?" I begin to laugh. " _Oh no_ , call the police!"

"If it helps, I can second that." Nicole chimes in.

"What? Nicole!" I spin around the look at her.

"Well... You have been spending an awful amount of time together..." Token mutters.

"WHY IS EVERYONE BLAMING ME?" I yell. "MY BOYFRIEND IS HAVING SEX WITH MY SECOND BEST FRIEND."

"Ex." Clyde corrects me.

"Oi! Second best?" Red glares at me, rolling off the bed.

"Tweek, I would never cheat on you." Craig interrupts.

"Oh come on, everyone knows you're Bebe's back up." Heidi hisses, nastily. "It's pretty low of you to sleep with Stan."

"Thank you Heidi." I smile at her.

"WE DIDN'T SLEEP TOGETHER!" Stan objects.

"You're welcome Wendy." Heidi nods at me.

"It looks a bit dodgy if you ask me." Milly scrunches up her nose.

"Well no one did." Kyle jibes and she gives him a look.

"Why do you care?" She sniggers.

"I don't." He replies instantly.

"Ok, can I just get this cleared up, who's slept with who? I'll need it for Monday's announcements." Cartman raises his voice.

"Why are you standing there half naked?" I ask him. "Put that in your announcements."

"Oh don't worry, I will." He grins. "HAHA KYLE, GUESS WHO LOST THEIR VIRGINITY BEFORE YOU?"

"Well... I'm going to guess _you_." Kyle drones. "But at least my dick isn't as small as yours."

All eyes move to Cartman's tiny bulge, concealed in his very tight underwear.

"Just because you had your dick snipped to cheat." He hisses.

"It might be small but it does the trick." Lexus shrugs. _Ok, ew_.

"Oh score, you pulled a prostitute." Kyle chortles.

"She's not a prostitute!" Cartman argues.

"Yeah actually, that'll be fifty dollars." Lexus coughs. "...Joke..."

"THERE'S NO TIME FOR JOKES!" Tweek screeches. "MY BOYFRIEND IS SLEEPING WITH THAT WHORE."

"Right, coffee addict or not, you're getting a slap!" I lurch forward to hit Tweek.

"Red, put a bra on please, it's embarrassing." Heidi buries her head in her hands.

"No problem from where I'm standing." Token sniggers, followed by a death glare from Nicole.

"Wendy, just calm down will you?" Craig pulls me back as Kyle continues to restrain Tweek.

"Look, still clinging onto her at every chance he gets!" Tweek yelps.

"Oh grow up!" I spit.

"Get off her!" Stan runs towards us and pulls Craig off me, pushing him back against the wall.

"STAN LET GO!" I try to break free. "YOU LYING, CHEATING PIECE OF SHIT!"

"WE DIDN'T SLEEP TOGETHER!" He retorts. "TELL HER RED!"

"Well..." She giggles. "I could but that would be lying."

"What the fuck?" Stan gasps. "Don't lie you bitch!"

"DON'T CALL HER A BITCH!" Clyde tries to punch Stan in the face but he ducks.

"STAY OUT OF THIS CLYDE!"

"YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVED ME CRAIG!"

"I LOST MY V CARD BEFORE YOU JEW!"

"...What the hell is going on out here?" A door flies open further up the corridor and Kevin peers out. There is a quiet giggle as Lola appears behind him, dressed in sexy underwear, her hair a mess. The whole scene pauses as everyone just stares at them.

"Dude..." Kyle pipes up. "This is pretty fucked up right here."


	31. A New Friend

**Chapter 30:**

 _ **A/N: I'm going to be away for three weeks in America so I doubt there will be any updates for a while. I apologise. However, I am super excited because, if you've read my author bio you will know I've always wanted to visit the states! Wanted to try and post a chapter before I left though so sorry if it's a bit short.**_

 **Bebe PoV**

"Bebe!" A random guy shouts as he runs out to the pool. "Great to see you again." He kisses me quickly on the lips and I see Kenny pull a face out of the corner of my eye.

"Who are you?" I frown, trying to search my memory.

"Alex!" He exclaims.

"Alex?" Kenny glares at him. "Well get the fuck away from my girlfriend 'Alex'."

"Ok, chill dude." He holds his hands up.

"I SAID DO ONE!" Kenny yells at him and he runs off. "...Do you just know everyone?"

"No." I tell him. "But everyone knows me apparently."

"Why?" He looks around protectively.

"...I probably slept with him." I shrug.

"How do you not remember things like that?"

"Do you really want to go over this again?" I drone and he raises his eyebrows.

"Hey! Fellas?" I turn to see Butters running towards us. Well... At least I knew him... Unfortunately.

"What do you want?" I ask him rudely.

"Well uh... It's all kicking off upstairs..." He bashes his knuckles together. "Thought you might want to know."

"Why?" I spit.

"Red's sleeping with Stan." His eyes widen.

"I'm aware of that yes." I nod.

"Oh yes, I forgot you were a gossip." Butters replies, innocently. "Pete Melman told me that... Hey uh, Wendy and Craig are sleeping together too, although you've probably heard that news."

"Wendy and Craig are... Wait, why would I care what Pete Melman says?" I scoff. "At least I didn't crap my pants in front of the whole class."

"OI!" I hear a loud screech from behind me me turn to see Jenny with her arms crossed. "He was scarred because of that, it's not something to make fun of."

"...Hold on..." I stop her. "Am I in some sort of parallel universe where Jenny Simons is protecting Pete Melman, whilst Butters Stotch is actually talking to me?"

"Well... _No_ , because you're in this universe currently." Butters responds, stupidly.

"Grow up Bebe." Jenny spits at me, _what the fuck?_ What was even going on?

"...Do you want to be kicked off the cheerleading squad?" I warn her.

"You think you're so tough don't you?" She replies, sourly.

"No. I think that _you've_ had too much to drink." I imitate her.

"Well you haven't been drinking at all." She points out. "Why's that Bebe?"

"Kenny and I are just not drinking tonight..." I try to cover up. "...It's a late... No early New Years resolution..."

"Then why does Kenny have a vodka bottle in his hand?" She gestures and I hesitate before whipping my head round, seeing Kenny standing a few meters away with Jimmy, Emily and Jason, glugging shots from the bottle.

"KENNY!" I screech, preparing to run over and knock it out of his hand.

"Ooh, necking it again I see." Jenny giggles. "Good resolution that, it lasted what? A few hours? Considering I saw him by Stark's pond with a load of cans earlier."

"You leave my boyfriend out of this!" I hiss.

"Why?" She squares up to me. "You were happy to slag off mine."

 **Kyle PoV**

"Ok, can we all just be adults about this?" I tell the squad, being the first to raise my voice after it had all fallen silent. Inside, I was fuming; Stan had slept with Red? Whether I believed him or not, it was still a dick move... To Wendy I mean... I didn't care.

"Oh I am being mature, it's just that _blondie_ here is acting like a complete five year old!" Wendy exclaims.

"Why is this suddenly my fault?" Tweek retaliates. "You're just pissed off because your so-called _boyfriend_ is sleeping with that slag!"

"Oi! Watch your tongue!" Red yells, still standing half-naked in the doorway.

"Well what I suggest is that everyone who isn't involved in this, clears off." I negotiate.

"Ok, bye then Kyle." Cartman sneers.

"And you're a part of this how?" I spit. "You're only at this party because Portia felt sorry for you."

"At least I got invited by the host." He sniggers. "I don't even know who invited you but you always just tag along, desperate to get in on the action."

"Oh shut your face fatass." I sigh, he wasn't my priority right now.

"Afraid to face the truth?" He asks and I roll my eyes; did he ever stop? "Bet you had to tell mommy a few lies didn't you, you should be at home eating Jewish food, singing Jewish songs. Coming here, hoping you'd get laid, well you haven't Kyle! As usual!"

I am about to retort to his comments but Stan gets there first.

"Shut the fuck up you fat lump of shit!" He instantly jumps at him, holding him up against the wall by his neck. What the fuck?

"Woah, Stan, calm down mate." Clyde suddenly panicks.

"You think you're so tough and cool yeah?" Stan spits in his face. "Constantly picking on everyone to make your life less miserable. To make _you_ feel better about yourself. Well guess what? We are all fed up of it. You've stooped so low you're sleeping with slags, the girls who get paid to do this stuff with guys. So congratulations Cartman, I hope you feel better about yourself now."

Cartman's face begins to turn a shade of violet and that is the point that Stan removes his hand from around his throat, shoving him against the wall one last time for good measure.

"Jesus Stan!" Heidi exclaims.

"Dude, are you ok?" Token puts a hand on his shoulder hesitantly but he shrugs it off.

"Going home." Is all he mutters and skulks off down the stairs. We all stand in silence as he disappears. Had Stan just defended me? Was all that because Cartman had been slagging me off? I feel a warm glow inside of me. I know it's wrong at this moment in time, but I suddenly feel a burst of happiness.

"...Well Kyle." Cartman splutters, being helped up by Lexus. "Looks like you will be losing your virginity soon. To Stan. Your butt buddy since Kindergarten."

"Fuck off." I tell him half-heartedly, because as much as I could deny it, I knew that I wished it was true.

 **Stan PoV**

It was raining as I walked home, how very convenient. Of course, the weather wouldn't be on my side, would it? Just like everything else isn't.

I was a complete idiot. I had screwed everything up. What did I think I was going to achieve from even thinking about sleeping with Red? I had been to find Wendy, but it had resulted in her hating me even more.

There was no way she was going to believe me for a second, especially as Red had lied and said it was all true. Why had she done that? Did she have some everlasting crush on me or something? Surely not, that would be a laugh. Maybe she was trying to make Wendy jealous for some reason, or pretend she had slept with me to make herself look cool. Either way, she'd fucked things up for me even more and I wasn't going to let this slide.

I look up and see a boy sitting on the edge of the sidewalk, staring down into a puddle. At first I think that it's Butters; probably crying over losing a girlfriend he never had again. As I get closer however, I notice he is wearing a grey hat, with strands of mousy brown hair sticking out from under it.

"Douglas?" My voice is hoarse from all the shouting that went on earlier. He looks up suddenly, drenched from the rain, eyes red from crying.

"Stan, um... Hi." He composes himself, pulling his soaking wet hat a bit further down his head and standing up to greet me. He looks awkwardly at me, I don't think we'd really ever spoken before.

"You... Ok?" I ask him warily, it was clear he was upset about something.

"Yeah, yes fine, as usual." He stammers. "Always fine." He rubs his hands together and I could see they were raw from the cold. Jeez, everyone in South Park knew to wear gloves when they left the house, especially as it was now drawing into Winter.

"Right, well, I was just checking." I assure him, he's looking at me as if I'm some sort of copper, who's caught him thieving from a shop. "See you then."

"Yeah, see you." He frets, quickly walking off in the opposite direction. Why was he going that way? Only the rich kids lived down there, it was the pathway leading to Denver and I was pretty certain that Douglas was not one of them.

"Um... Don't you live this way?" I point in the direction I am heading.

"Oh... Yeah." He shrugs and follows about ten steps behind me as I head up the street.

"You can walk with me you know." I tell him.

"Really?" He exclaims, his eyes lighting up slightly. "But you're like... One of the most popular kids in the year!"

"Ha..." I laugh out loud. "I wouldn't say I am anymore buddy."

"Why?" His eyes widen.

"Long story." I mutter. "Come on , I'll tell you about it on the way."


	32. Unusual Friends

**A/N:** _ **Hi so I am back from America. However, I have lost my phone which had the chapters that I had written up whilst away on it. I've managed to save this chapter as I emailed it to RatherOddRanger when I wrote it, but the other chapters are likely to be gone. Therefore I will have to type them up again, which is honestly the most frustrating thing ever. Especially as I wrote them about two weeks ago so can't remember much of the content. Either way, it can't be helped so if you could be patient with updates, it would be much appreciated. Thank you and leave a review if you have the time:)**_

 **Kenny PoV**

I wake up on Kyle's doorstep, my head spinning. What the fuck had happened? I hadn't been drinking, surely... I had promised Bebe.

It wasn't the sound of snow shovelers clearing their drives or the noise of passing cars that woke me however. Instead, it was the sound of Sheila Brovlofski, screaming as she opened the door.

"Ahh! Gerald, Gerald." I sit bolt upright, which damages my sore head even more. "There's another homeless guy on our doorstep!"

"Oi!" I object, although to be honest, I was virtually a homeless person currently.

"Oh Kenneth." Her face breaks into a smile and I turn my nose up at the use of my full name. "How wonderful to see you dear. My, did you fall?"

"Uh... No." I reply, bluntly and luckily I don't have time to explain myself because Kyle is at the door.

"Thanks mom, I'll take it from here." He tells her and she waltzes off. "...Dude, what are you doing on my doorstep?"

"Can you answer that for me please?" I beg, trying to haul myself to my feet.

"You got so drunk last night." He begins to chuckle. "Like completely pissed."

"Yeah, that's absolutely hilarious." I drone, sarcastically. "Ugh... How did Bebe take it?"

"Well she had this argument with Jenny over the fact that she's now dating Pete, but then she got all pissed off with you and then pissed off with Red for fucking with Wendy and then she just left... Pissed off." He explains.

"Oh brilliant, I told her I wouldn't..." I begin. "Wait Jenny's dating Pete? Pete Melman?"

"Yeah I know, crazy right." He frowns.

"Yeah I-" I stop myself. "This doesn't matter. What I am worried about is Bebe."

"Well I'd say you have a lot of making up to do dude." He tells me. "Oh and you might want to apologise to Jason too."

"Why?" I narrow my eyes.

"You kind of pulled his pants down in front of everyone... And then called his dick a pea-pod." He begins to laugh again. "Except you kept pointing out that it was a 'pee-pod' haha!"

"For fucks sake." I clap my hand to my head, which was a mistake.

"No it was hilarious." He grins. "Maybe not for Jason though, he said he's gonna fight you at school tomorrow with Clyde and Token."

"Fuck that." I sigh.

"Oh and Heidi hates you too." He informs me. "You covered her head in squirty cream."

I just stare at him blankly, score Kenny, top night. Maybe I would have had a less eventful time at my dad's funeral.

"Where's Karen?" I suddenly panic.

"Uh, you left her with one of her friends before you turned up." He recalls. "I'm assuming she's still there... Or maybe she's down Skeeter's... It seems to be an inherited addiction."

"That's not funny." I glare at him. Even better, now people associated me with my father because I hung out at the bar a few nights a month... Week. "But at least she's safe, which is less than can be said for me."

"Chill dude." He reassures me. "If anyone's in shit, it's Stan."

"...Why." I frown, I did remember something being said about Stan last night.

"He had sex with Red." His eyes widen. "Well, I don't believe he did. But lots of people do."

"Why?" I ask.

"Well because they were kind of... On the bed together... Naked... And Red said they had sex." He mutters.

"And you still believe that they didn't." I raise my eyebrows.

"...Yes." He looks down at the floor. "Stan's my best friend, I'm gonna believe whatever he says."

"Well I don't see the problem with it anyway." I shrug. "Wendy ended it with him, he's a free agent, if he wants to sleep with Red then-"

"HE DIDN'T SLEEP WITH HER!" He suddenly yells, which knocks me back off the doorstep.

"Dude!" I hold my hands up. "Chill!"

"Sorry... I'm just very firm in my beliefs that's all." He holds his hand to help me up and then I notice something behind me catch his eye. "Uh oh."

"What?" I turn to look in that direction and see Timmy, Kevin and Francis heading towards us with slingshots and light-sabers.

"Ok, you're on your own here." He slams the door in my face. For fucks sake.

 **The following morning.**

 **Kyle PoV**

It was evident that most people in homeroom were still hungover, because even after a day's rest, the classroom was silent except for the chatter of the Raisins girls who were used to this lifestyle.

It was either that, or everyone was pissed off with everyone, which was also a likely option. As Portia's party had been very eventful, resulting in pretty much everyone falling out. In fact, the only people who didn't appear to be bothered by the silence was the two couples sat in the corner of the room; Kevin, Lola, Jenny and Pete, who were hanging off each other's shoulders practically drooling.

Who would have thought? Pete Melman and Jenny Simons, Kevin Stoley and Lola Kirlia. Who would be next? Milly and Timmy? Annie and Butters? Red and Francis? I smile at the thought. There seemed to be some sort of suction pulling all the popular girls towards the geeky guys. Maybe all those years of hacking computers and staring at TV screens had paid off; perhaps they had managed to create some device that seemed to make them super attractive.

Or maybe it was just some game they were playing, after all, I never would have thought Red would be desperate to get Stan into bed... The smile disappears when that memory comes back to haunt my mind. Mind you, I wouldn't put it past Bebe to set something up like this; mess with Wendy's head. It was like the list incident all over again.

What would be the usual 'squad' consisting of Bebe, Stan, Wendy and Kenny all showed up to homeroom alone. It was clear that none of them was on talking terms with anyone else in that group and they all seemed too involved in their own problems to care. They all took their seats, spacing themselves as far away as possible, even going to the extremes of shuffling desks across the floor as if one of them had some sort of infectious disease. It didn't bother me, in fact this feud was making me extremely happy; I had always been the outsider to that group since Wendy and Bebe had replaced me and Cartman, so seeing it fall apart was selfishly satisfying. Maybe now I could have Stan all to myself again...

"Good morning students of South Park Elementary." The usual nasal voice of Cartman suddenly blurts out over the speakers. There is a loud groan from every single person in the classroom; everyone knew that these were going to be the juiciest announcements yet and nobody needed Cartman twisting the knife in further. "Sorry I am a little late with the morning announcements today, but I have been in a meeting with Principal Victoria and she has allowed me to extend the broadcast for today."

"I SAID NO ERIC!" The principal's voice can be heard faintly in the mic but he just continues anyway.

"No one cares about the fish pie for lunch, or the teacher's soccer game after school." He babbles on. "What we do care about is the events from Saturday night. Both good and bad... Although all good for me. But we'll start with the less interesting stuff first. As I'm sure you are all aware, Stan Marsh slept with Red Lakeland that night, or did he? Is the question playing on everyone's minds."

"No he fucking didn't!" Stan suddenly yells from behind me.

"Now I'm sure you are all as indecisive about this matter as I am. So at lunch time, I will be chairman of the official 'Randy' club. A collaboration of Red, Stan and Wendy which is ironic as it is also the name of Stan's father..."

"Gross." Bebe sighs. It doesn't even seem that Wendy is listening, she is just burying her head in her desk.

"This is where we will have an official discussion about the threesome and what we think really happened that night." He informs us. "Stan, Red and Wendy you are all invited along but you will have to be quarantined to avoid outbursts. This isn't Maury now."

"No thanks." Red files her nails, also not really phased by the discussion.

"On the topic of Wendy Testaburger, you'll also be astounded to know that she is on it with Craig... Or is she?"

"Fucking hell." Craig rolls his eyes whilst Tweek makes a little burst of panic.

"I will therefore be holding the 'Tweng' club next week, a collaboration of Tweek, Wendy and Craig to have a discussion about the relationship status' of this threesome. That will be held tomorrow lunchtime in the lecture theatre. Once again, each of you are allowed to attend but the same rules apply."

I notice that Clyde has actually fallen asleep on his desk. Tammy has scribbled down the words 'I don't care' on a piece of paper hundreds of times and even Timmy had stopped yelling his name out loud due to boredom.

"Moving on." Cartman continues after a short pause. "Kenny McCormick has been found guilty of being drunk and disorderly yet again. A witness states that after downing the majority of a bottle of vodka, he proceeded to humiliate several individuals such as Heidi Turner, by spraying squirty cream in her hair and Jason Mawile by pulling his trousers down and calling his dick a pea-pod. Spelt P.E.E pod. Pretty good for you Kenny, well done, although I'm sure Jason won't agree... Or your girlfriend, Bebe."

I turn to notice a sea of glares directed at Kenny, which he is attempting to ignore.

"Whilst we are talking about Bebe, let's open up another window as to why she was not drinking last night. How suspicious that she was just consuming soda. We all know she likes a good drink, several, in fact she calls herself the 'life of the party', which I'm sure many people would adapt to 'bitch of the party' which she definitely lived up to on Saturday night, when she had an argument with Jenny Simons about the fact that she is now dating Pete Melman. What is up with that? The only similarity they'll have to share in their wedding vows is their passion for crapping their pants in front of the entire class!" He sniggers at this comment which causes Jenny to pull herself off Pete's shoulder to hold her middle finger up at the speaker. "To conclude today's announcements, I would like to share some more interesting news with you all. As Saturday night was a very good night for me. You see fellow students, I have become a man, which means I won't be hanging around with immature people such as Kyle. I lost my virginity at the weekend, not just to any girl, but to Lexus." Everyone shifts their gaze from Kenny to Lexus, although she doesn't seem bothered in the slightest. "So I am no longer an outsider in this school, you shall all worship me. So HAHA KYLE! YOU VIRGIN! I LOST MY VIRGINITY BEFORE YOU NA NA NEE NA NA, HA HA HA HEE HA HA!"

I really hate you Cartman, I really fucking hate you.

 **Stan PoV**

I walk into the dinner hall alone. I was pretty much the target of all hate here at the school, as well as Kenny. He however, was sat with Wendy on our usual table, whilst Bebe sat with Milly, Annie, Powder and Heidi on the popular girls table, although she didn't look particularly involved in their conversation.

I grab my lunch tray which has a lump of fish pie and what are supposedly vegetables on it. I don't bother with dessert; I doubted I would eat anything. My legs shaking, I risk greeting Kenny and Wendy.

"Hi." I wave, cheerily as if nothing has happened and I sit down next to Kenny, who stares at me blankly for a few seconds.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Wendy snaps, glaring at me as if I had just killed a cat right in front of her.

"Sitting down." I slide the smart remark in slowly, hoping it would make less of an impact.

"Well you can't." She virtually spits at me, Jesus.

"Why?" I argue, I was sick of her acting as if she owned me. "I am friends with Kenny and I would like to sit with him. Plus I usually sit here."

"Dude... Maybe you should just go." Kenny mumbles and my eyes widen.

"What?" I turn to him.

"Just listen to her hey..." He negotiates.

"Kenny!" I yell. "Why are you taking her side? We've been best friends since day one!"

"Well technically speaking, you and Kyle have been best friends from day one." He grimaces. "I was just there to make up the numbers... Look Stan, you're not making this situation any better by forcing it back together. Just leave it for today ok?"

I don't have anything to reply to this and anything I could say would just make me even angrier. So instead I just pick up my tray and walk off.

I now look like an even bigger douchebag, as I am standing in the middle of the school canteen with a plate of gross food and nowhere to sit down.

I hear my name being yelled from behind me and turn instantly; someone had come to my rescue.

Or not.

I see Red waving at me madly from a table not far away, she is also sitting alone, which isn't surprising.

"Stan!" I hear her scream. "Come here!"

Was she on drugs? I swear she was a complete nutcase. A few people surrounding us were staring now, shaking their heads in disapproval.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I hiss at her, slamming my tray down on her table and speaking under my breath.

"Inviting you to sit with me, you looked lonely." She smiles, twirling her hair. "And I'm lonely too so it's a match made in heaven."

"Are you trying to ruin my life?" I spit. "Hey? Is it some new fragrance that everyone's wearing? 'Ruin Stan's Life' by Calvin Klein?"

"You're funny." She giggles.

"No. I'm not." I confirm. "I'm angry."

"Ugh what's the big deal Stan?" She grabs my arm. "You and Wendy are over. You can sleep with me if you like."

"But I didn't sleep with you, did I?" I continue to interrogate her. "So why did you tell everyone I did?"

"Well it's all kind of a blur now, I can't really remember what happened." She lies, furrowing her brow as if in thought.

"Red?" I hiss.

"Yeah?" She grins.

"You're a bitch." I conclude and then tear my tray away from her table. By now it was probably cold and therefore even less appetising, if that was possible.

I am stood in the centre of the room again when my eyes land on the table seating Douglas, Emily and Francis. Thankfully, Douglas notices me staring and beckons me over.

"Hi Stan." He greets and I hesitantly sit down next to him. Emily and Francis are staring at me blankly, confused at why I had resorted to sitting next to them.

"Uh, hey." I mumble. "I'm not intruding or anything..."

"No course not!" He smiles. "Guys this is Stan."

"We know." They both nod in unison.

"Yeah... Look there's been a lot of stuff going round so if you don't want me to embarrass you guys then-" I begin.

"You could never embarrass us!" Emily pipes up. "They are stupid rumours. I've learned from past experiences not to trust people who spread gossip around."

"So most of the school then." I crack a smile, relieved I actually had a few people on my side.

"All of the school." She winks. I don't think I had ever spoken to her before, but she seemed very nice. Much nicer than any of the girls in my friendship group. My eyes glide to Red again, who is staring at me intently but pretending to read Vogue at the same time. She was a creep...

"Trust me, we hate Eric Cartman." Francis tells me.

"Who doesn't?" I reply and he nods his head.

"Forever ripping on everyone else just to make himself feel better." He voices.

"Yeah whatever you say we'll believe you." Douglas tells me. I was confused at why they are all being so lovely to me when I had only just spoken to them for the first time. But perhaps that was just because I was used to all the dick heads and bitches I hung around with. I guess the people you least expect can be better friends than the people you've known your whole life...


	33. A Bombshell in Gym Class

**Chapter 32:**

 _ **A/N: So as I mentioned in the last chapter, I lost my phone on holiday which means I have had to retype this chapter up. I tried to remember as much as possible but sorry if it's not perfect. I also apologise for incorrect use of American terminology and measurements if there are any. Forgive me if anything is wrong and feel free to correct me politely for future reference. Thanks for you patience and review:) Ok, update, so now the original copy of this chapter decides to turn up now that I've written it... I now have two different copies but I'm just going to upload this one as I went through the effort of writing it today and it would be a waste otherwise. I have copied and pasted bits of the other chapter into it though so sorry (again) if it doesn't make sense.**_

 **Bebe PoV**

Six months ago I would have been walking down the corridor with Kenny on one arm and Wendy on the other. Blonde curls flowing behind me, my toned belly showing beneath the cropped cheerleading uniform, smile on my face as everyone was staring at me, admiring me, wishing they could be me.

Now, the only thing that remained is that they were still staring at me, but their expressions had changed. It was no longer a look of longing or admiration or jealousy. Instead, I received many curious glances or dirty looks as I shuffle down the hallways of South Park High. The uniform had been swapped for a duffle coat, down to my knees, which I could luckily pull off without question as the winter months were drawing in. My hair was a mess, my non-made up face was a mess and my life was a mess, and guess what? Everyone could tell.

They didn't know what exactly, well if they did they weren't letting on, but the students knew that there was something up with me. All the cheerleaders had begun to realise I had put on weight; I was now at the bottom of the pyramid instead of the top. It's not like I even cared that much about the squad anymore, which is a sentence I never thought I would say, but I had missed quite a few practices. Aside from the whole baby situation, I had other problems regarding half my friends, who seemed to be paralyzed by all the nerds in our year. Whether it was some kind of revenge towards me or they'd been hypnotised by their light-sabers, I didn't know. But either way it was jeopardising my remaining friendship group since Wendy, Kenny, Stan and I had all fallen out, as well as the cheerleading squad, as both Lola and Jenny had hung up their skirts and quit. Wendy was also lacking in turning up to practice, partly because she was being a moody cow and also because Red was practically leading the team as she was the only one who still seemed bothered. I had been forced to invite Lisa Burger back as there had been so many missing spots, but it didn't really bother me as she made me look slimmer.

That however, was more than could be said for Wendy, who had only turned up to two rehearsals in the last six weeks. If she wasn't vice-captain I would have a good mind to kick her off. In fact I was tempted to kick everyone off excluding Red who had been putting in extreme effort to keep the team in shape after she noticed mine and Wendy's sudden decline in interest. This is yet another problem I have; I had an ultimatum of debating whether to be friends with Wendy or Red, as it was evident they now hated each other. Red seemed the safer option; after all she was bending over backwards... _literally_ , to make sure cheerleading practice went smoothly, plus she was the one who didn't seem to hold a grudge against me and also wasn't hanging out with my boyfriend 24/7. Wendy clearly had troubles though and I had been friends with her forever. But I suppose selfishly the main factor is that she knew about the pregnancy and if I came too close to Red, there was no knowing what she would do to get her own back.

So basically I was walking on egg shells, with everyone. Including the guy who a few weeks ago had told me he loved me and wanted to be a family. The guy who now wouldn't say hello to me if we passed in the corridor. He wouldn't even tell me where we were relationship-wise; I had no clue if we were broken up or not and if we were, I couldn't see a reason why he should be mad at me, he had been the one drinking that night minutes after making life-long promises. Yet I was willing to forgive him for that.

Evidently, Stan and I had been kicked out of our usual group, and Heidi and Craig had taken our places now that Tweek had dumped him. I had no clue why Heidi had jumped at the chance to eat with them at lunch but either way it made me extremely suspicious, especially when I had to constantly stare at her hanging off my boyfriends shoulder and whispering things in his ear. Craig and Wendy weren't helping themselves in the slightest. Perhaps it was a way of getting back at Stan but they still argued they were 'just friends'. But if I knew anything about Wendy Testaburger it was that revenge was her middle name and she wasn't going to be stingy in how she played it.

Due to this, I had resorted to sitting with Kyle at lunch time, which was a barrel of laughs considering he just sat there staring at Stan the entire time and moaning on about why he was now friends with the creeps from our year group. In fact, we may as well be sitting alone because I pretty much did exactly the same thing with Kenny, neither of us listening to one another all the while. But the upside was that he gave me the pickles from his lunch bag which I was getting severe cravings for, yet he still hadn't clocked why I was acting so weirdly. Maybe he wasn't as smart as he appeared to be.

So overall, my life was falling apart, slowly. Everything was being taken from me; my friends, my boyfriend, my dreams, my future, my position on the team. Bit by bit someone was out to ruin my life, whether it was karma or just bad luck, it had done its job well...

"Watch it fatty." Some junior suddenly blurts out as he jolts me to the side, knocking me out of my day-dream as I am shoved against the lockers. I am too shocked to retaliate anything and by the time I get my head around what he has said, he is gone, sniggering with his friends as he rounds a corner. _'Watch it fatty'_? I repeat the words in my head. Was this what it had come to? I stare down at my stomach and notice the bump appearing underneath my coat and beneath where I am clutching my textbooks. I twist my head upwards to face a group of sophomores who seem to find it hilarious and are all staring at me, grins on their faces. I load my books into my locker, pull my gym kit out and slam it shut with anger, which quiets them down for a few seconds whilst I storm off down the corridor.

Gym. Physical Education. The bane of my life.

I enter the changing rooms and face the sea of eyes that stare me out, again as confused as ever at why I looked like I had just come from the Arctic. I ignore them the best I can and head towards the toilet cubicle, which no one dared use because last time when Kal was in there I had practically kicked the door down.

Having to take off this coat in class was exposing, never mind having to change into the tiny shorts and skin tight T-shirt that we had to wear for gym. I always went to get changed in the toilet cubicle, out of observations way, which is what the occasional girl used to do in Middle school if they weren't wearing a bra or had a heavy period. The only good thing about anything to do with gym, was that it was now almost December and so we were allowed to wear a sweater over our kit. I had ended up spending my pocket money on one that was three sizes larger than my usual size to conceal the bump, but at least it did the trick.

You'd think that I'd be brilliant at sports being cheer captain, well I used to be. But unless you count running around like a headless chicken, panting and bloated, I was no longer an athlete. I couldn't run more than ten meters without getting out of breath and it was even harder when you have to attempt to hold it in. This was the only time I thought Kenny might care for me anymore; he tells me to call off sick or makes excuses for me when I am volunteered as an important role in a game. But he was probably doing it for the baby's sake, not mine.

When I'm finally changed I cautiously make my way out of the cubicle, I always wait and extra five minutes until the chattering had ended and everyone has left the changing rooms. Annoyingly Milly, Annie and Nicole always take ages to leave as they stand in front of the mirror re-applying make-up and going on and on about pointless things they've read in Cosmopolitan. I head down the hallway towards the gym, hearing Timmy's helper wheeling him down the corridor behind me. I take a deep breath and then pull the door open.

The noise hits me instantly; sounds of boys arguing over last nights soccer match and girls squabbling about who stole who's hairbrush in the changing room. Usually there would be cliques dotted around the gym, people chasing after one another or students rebelliously balancing the equipment on their heads before Mr Logan has said they can use it. Today, however, it seemed a lot more formal.

Although the chatter was still as loud as usual, two large lines were formed, one of boys and one of girls, facing towards a wall where scales and a table of measuring tapes were lying...

My heart suddenly sinks in my chest, like the feeling you get when go on a rollercoaster and begin to move then regret getting on it because you see the drop.

Surely not. It couldn't be...

"Annie, what's going on?" I walk over to her, trying to keep the panic out of my voice.

"Physical." She drones and that confirms it for me.

Fuck.

Every year we had a physical where our weight and height was measured and recorded on the system. They also clearly had no respect for us as they always yelled it out to the teacher recording the information so that everyone could hear. I don't have time to say anything back because my shoulders have a pair of hands clamped on them before I can even attempt to run away.

"Bebe Stevens, you're late, in line please." Mr Logan drives me behind Annie and Nicole in the line.

"Um ok." I nod. "I'll just head to the back then-"

"No you won't, you'll stay there." He orders and then walks off. I glance behind me at where Milly is glaring at me for taking her place in line next to her friends. I give her a weak smile before facing back to the front.

"Right, we're going to try and do this as quick as possible so that we can get a game of dodgeball in at the end." Mr Logan announces. Oh good, a game of dodgeball? That makes everything even better... "Now I'm going to repeat this again just to ensure everyone has got it right; this is a height and weight physical, not boys penis sizes." Looks are immediately directed at Cartman, who is in line with me. Immediately my heart begins to rise again, I was in line with Cartman, he was the best person to be up against, the fattest kid in the year! "So we don't want a repeat of the events that happened in elementary school... Or middle school... Or high school, where they were published on the wall of the corridors. Right we're going to call you up two at a time, one boy and one girl and we will take your weight. Then you return to the back of your line and then we will do height the next time round."

"First up please." The school nurse beckons and Token and Nicole step up on the scales. Everyone rolls their eyes at their athletic builds and naturally they get the all clear. Next up was Butters and Annie, who also are in the average section of the weight poster that is stuck up on the wall. Then it's me who is called up. Ok, I was not ready for this. Maybe I could make a run for it.

"Miss Stevens would you hurry up please." Mr Logan rolls his eyes and I force myself forward onto the scales. I can feel the see of eyes focused on the back of my head. This was hell. This was pure hell. I screw my eyes shut and wait to be humiliated.

"Eric Cartman, 147 pounds three ounces." The school nurse calls out.

"Bebe Stevens 148 pounds six ounces..." Mr Logan begins to trail off at the realisation of what he has just read, but everyone hears him and I immediately hear the sniggers from behind me.

My whole chest suddenly draws tight, I can already feel the tears stinging my eyes. Not only was I over weight, I was heavier than Cartman, how was that even possible? He had been the fattest person in the school for ages. I force my eyes open and glance across at him, studying his structure. Now I actually looked at him, he didn't appear to be that fat anymore, in fact his weight was on the border of the top end of the average line, unlike mine. I was far into the over weight section on the girls chart.

"Bebe?" I hear Red's voice, which is the last thing I want to hear right now. "You're... heavier than Cartman?"

I know she doesn't mean to offend me, it was more of an out loud thought, but all the same, people begin to laugh even more.

"QUIET EVERYONE!" Mr Logan suddenly yells, which almost knocks me back off the scales. "THAT IS NOT HOW WE TREAT OUR FELLOW STUDENTS." He suddenly lowers his voice and turns back to me. "Bebe maybe if you took that heavy sweater off, we might get a more accurate measurement."

"No." I mumble, crossing my arms over my stomach and as he looks down at them, I can tell he has clocked it. "Leave me alone."

I begin running then, as fast as I can out if the hall, my stomach weighing me down as if I had a rock in there. But I didn't stop running, not until I am hidden behind a bunch of lockers, when I finally keel over, panting, tears streaming down my face.

I am bent over a table for about two minutes before I hear the sound of footsteps behind me. I don't dare look who it is; maybe Mr Logan, come to interrogate me some more or Cartman here to gloat. But when I feel the arms around my waist I know exactly who it is. I finally get the strength to stand up straight and I bury my head in their chest.

"I hate this, I hate everything." I cry, my hands clenched into fists.

"I know." I hear Kenny say. "I'm sorry."


	34. Coming With You

**Chapter 33:**

 **Cartman PoV**

I was over the moon. Finally. _Finally_ something had paid off. I had always hated Mr Logan, I mean, he was the teacher who forced me to do sports. But yesterday he had made my life complete. Not only had showed my year that I was no longer 'fat' but I had also weighed in lighter than Bebe Stevens. Bebe Stevens; the captain of the cheerleading squad, who ate salad for every meal of the day. I of course knew why that had occurred, but it didn't stop me from finding it hilarious.

I did feel a little sorry for her, I mean, I had been in her position once. Which was why I was heading into the lunch canteen for the first time in three months. To pay my respects, as well as twist the knife in a little further.

"Bebe, Jew." I nod when I arrive at their table. It was just the two of them today, for some reason. I didn't know why she wasn't eating with lover boy, maybe they still hated each other after Portia's party, which ironically, was the best night of my life. I instantly put on my sweet little boy voice. The sort which makes me seem nice but everyone knows I'm not. The voice I used when I needed my money back from Scott Tenorman after he sold me his pubes, or when I wanted to go to Casa Bonita so badly I had to be nice to Kyle. "I just wanted to say, I know how you feel. Bebe I mean, not you Kyle, I could never know the horror of being well... You."

"Fuck off fatass." He spits.

"Well you see, that's the thing." I smile. "I am no longer classified as 'fat', so your point is invalid."

"Yeah, you probably broke the scales when you stepped on them so they showed an incorrect weight." He hisses.

"Very good Kyle." I nod at him. "But if that was the case then I'm sure Bebe's scales would have snapped in two."

"Just go away Cartman." She mutters, through gritted teeth. She hadn't raised her head since I arrived at the table.

"Sorry what was that Bebe?" I ask her.

"I said go away." She raises her voice slightly.

"Kyle." I turn back to him. "Do you have any ideas as to why Bebe weighed in so heavy?"

"No. I also don't care." He sighs, but I can see the alarm in Bebe's eyes which confirms that she hasn't told him.

"What if I told you-" I begin.

"Ok! Ok!" She stands up suddenly. "What do you want?"

"I would like you to come on the show next week." I smile, satisfied with her response.

"The show?" She frowns.

"The morning announcements." I prompt her. "Next week is interview week and your slot is Tuesday."

"No." She replies, stubbornly. "You'll rip the shit out of me."

"Kyle." I turn to him again, tactfully. "Perhaps you would be interested to know-"

"Fine!" She yells, which causes the tables around us to turn and stare. "I'll do it."

"Excellent." I give a slight bow before I walk off and I can hear Kyle's confused chatter behind me, asking her why she was so afraid of me. Next up, I was headed towards Kevin, Lola, Jenny and Pete's table.

"Lola, Jenny." I greet them. "How wonderful to see you both again."

"What the fuck do you want?" Jenny mutters, rudely.

"Well since your asking." I respond. "I was wondering if you'd help me with a little project."

"No." Lola replies instantly.

"It's nothing massive." I tell them. "Just a little bit of fun."

"No." Jenny confirms.

"Jenny, do you remember when I made you shit your pants in class after putting laxatives in the cupcakes I gave you?" I continue to keep up my cheery tone.

"Vividly... Wait that was you?" She suddenly yells. Oops, that wasn't a good move.

"Well anyway, I wanted to do a similar thing with someone you really hate..." I decide to go down another path.

"Unless you're gonna throw yourself under a bus again or run away to Somalia-" Lola starts.

"Again." Jenny adds.

"We don't care." Lola finishes.

"Bebe Stevens." I whisper the name as if it is some sort of detective show and I see Jenny's face brighten up slightly.

"What do we have to do?" She questions.

"Morning announcements, Wednesday morning, I'll explain the rest then." I respond, professionally.

"...I want fifty bucks." Lola negotiates and Jenny nods in unison.

"Fine." I snap.

" _Each_." Jenny pushes.

"Done." Another upside of not eating was the fact that it allowed me to keep my lunch money to spend on purposes such as these. Although the chicken nuggets on Kevin's tray were virtually calling my name. I had to get out of here. "Right see you Wednesday then."

I turn on my heel and head for the door. Of course, their interview would have nothing to do with Bebe, just to gather a bit more information on their current... relationship status' and make the announcements a bit more interesting. I am stopped in my tracks however when I notice Stan sitting on a table with Douglas, Francis and Peter Mullen. Well what the fuck was happening here?

"Stan?" I frown and he turns to look at me instantly, probably because the mention of his name is a rare occurrence.

"Fuck off." He spits, stirring his spaghetti round his plate with a fork and staring at it sullenly. This seemed to be a regular greeting whenever I was near.

"These your new friends then?" I force a kind smile.

"...Yeah." He gulps, bravely. "Problem?"

"Interesting." I nod and then wedge myself down on the bench next to him, which causes Peter to slide off, letting out a small shriek as he does so. I forget about apologising to him and instead throw my arm around Stan's shoulders. "Stanley, you are a young, slightly clever... Used to be popular pupil."

"Don't call me Stanley." He hisses, helping Peter back up onto the bench.

"Right, so can I ask how in a matter of weeks, it has gone from being over there." He points to Wendy and Kenny's table. "To being here, with _these_ people."

"Do you mind?" He drones, angrily. "If you gave my friends a chance you might stop and realise-"

"Oh so they are your friends then?" I question.

"Yes... As I have already mentioned." He frowns.

"...Stanley..."

"Stan." He corrects.

"...Stan." I nod. "What you need is some therapeutic... Rejuvenation."

"Where did you learn those words?" Francis suddenly pipes up, but I just blank him.

"So therefore I am giving you a free, VIP pass for you and two friends." I beam. "Any two friends you like... But not Peter."

"For what?" He groans, finally shrugging my arm off his shoulder.

"For... Drum roll please." I point to Douglas who taps the table once. "The morning announcements."

"What?" Stan rolls his eyes.

"I'm giving you a VIP pass to be on the show." I tell him. "Thursday, 9am."

"No thanks." He mumbles. "I'm busy then."

"Doing what?"

"Chewing on a pen." He responds.

"Bring it with you, it can have a VIP pass too." I cheer and turn to Douglas and Francis. "See you kids on Thursday." I wink at them quickly before leaping up and heading off out of the canteen doors. That was the way to deal with unhappy customers; not let them have an answer.

 **Wendy PoV**

We are out of the doors before the school bell has even rang; I don't know why because I wasn't in a hurry to get anywhere, in fact, I was trying to delay time.

I had a hospital appointment tonight. It had been a month since I had been told I had breast cancer and so I was bricking it like crazy. This was going to be a full on meeting with a doctor, deciding what route I wanted to go down and starting to move forward with it. I was nowhere near ready to make this kind of commitment but I had left it too long and I knew that it was only getting worse.

I had been debating whether to ask Craig to accompany me all day; he was the only person who knew and I really didn't want to have to go on my own. There was a part of me that wished I could ask Stan, so that he could hold me when I cried and tell me it would be ok when I was scared. But I hated him. So that was not an option.

"Craig?" I blurt out, finally plucking up the courage to ask him. We were almost at his house so I had to do it quickly. Although I knew I couldn't tell him here and now because Kenny was walking alongside us.

"Yeah?" He turns to me.

"Well... I was just wondering if-" I begin before he is suddenly spun round by Clyde, running up and practically licking his face. For a second I thought they might be kissing...

"DUDE!" He claps his hands over Craig's face, waving two pieces of cardboard in front of his eyes. "YOU WILL NEVER GUESS WHAT I'VE GOT!"

"Gonorrhoea?" He guesses. "...Hopefully."

I give a slight laugh, which is something for me.

"TWO TICKETS TO TONIGHT'S RAPIDS GAME!" He screams.

"No fucking way!" Craig grabs them off Clyde. "Look at those seats! How did you get these?"

"Stole them off some freshman kid." Clyde shrugs and I roll my eyes.

"Dude, that's so not cool." Craig glares at him.

"Don't worry, I told him I'd stolen them." He sighs.

"So then you didn't steal them..." Kenny interrupts, clearly put out that he hadn't been invited to the Colorado Rapids game.

"Nah I did." He assures him. "But then I was like 'hey kid, you realise I've got your tickets'? They were hanging off his bag you see, who does that? Anyway, I got Annie to give him a blozza to keep quiet."

"And Annie just... Accepted just like that?" I frown.

"Don't worry, I'll pay her back." He winks. "I'm Clyde fucking Donovan."

"Yeah well ' _Clyde fucking Donovan_ ' not every girl in the school wants to sleep with you." I cough. "For your information."

"Oh that reminds me, you're a free agent now aren't ya?" He prods me in the arm. "You're still on my to-do list so let me know if you have a free house. Mind you, more your style isn't it." He turns to Craig.

"Dude." Craig sighs. "If these seats weren't so awesome I'd be punching you to bits right now."

"But they are." Clyde hypes. "So I'll pick you up at five."

He snatches the tickets back out of Craig's hand and swaggers up the road towards his house. Oh what it must be like to be Clyde...

"Sorry about that, did you want something?" Craig nudges me, softly and I reverse back to before we were rudely interrupted. Shit, the appointment.

"Um... Nope, doesn't matter anymore." I force a smile. "Forgotten what it was anyway."

"Look can we please make a move here?" Kenny exclaims. "The sun is setting, we'll be walking back in the dark otherwise."

Craig gives him some sort of 'cool dude' hand shake before heading off down his garden path and I walk with Kenny in silence for a while.

"Ugh man!" He finally interrupts the peace and quiet. "Another night of sitting in that dump on my own. I swear to God, I'm gonna go insane."

"What about Karen?" I prompt him.

"Ah, she practically lives at her friend Jessie's now." He shrugs. "Has done since mom got locked up. It's not like I have any money to support her."

"Yeah well don't start drinking again." I warn him. "It's getting to be a habit that."

"I don't have any _money_ to buy it." He sighs as we reach my house. "See you then."

I wave him off and get half way down my path before pausing. I turn and watch Kenny as he trudges down the street, through the snow, head bent. Maybe I could tell him... Maybe if I could explain to him what was going on, I wouldn't have to rely on Craig all the time... Plus he had said that he had nothing to do tonight...

"KENNY?" I yell, through the cold air and he immediately turns to face me. He was right, it was getting dark now and we were both almost silhouettes. I run quickly back up the path to stand a few meters away from him.

"This isn't one of those moments like in films where it's all cold and then you run up street and kiss me in the winter air is it?" He looks a bit resistant.

"No." I frown. "At least I hope not."

"Good." He approaches me slowly.

"Good." I give another cough and we stand there for a second.

"So..." He prompts me.

"Oh! Yeah um..." I start, my words suddenly getting mixed up as I try to categorise what I was trying to say. "I wondering was you'd if..." I blurt out and he looks confused as hell. I take a deep breath and start again. "Ehem... I was wondering if you'd come to the hospital with me tonight..."

"The hospital?" He frowns. "You're not pregnant too are you?"

"No." I try to laugh but it sounds more like a weak bleat. We had learnt that we both knew about Bebe's pregnancy after I had let a comment about baby names slip out, luckily it had just been the two of us and I was glad to learn that he already knew. "...It's probably worse than that actually."

"Huh?" He gives me a concerned look before I stare down at the floor, kicking the snow with my boot. "Wendy? What's going on?"

"I um..." I mumble. "I have breast cancer." I finally admit, the words coming out all wobbly and weird again.

He stands there staring at me for about a minute before opening his mouth. "...What? I... Are you serious?"

I just nod at him and I can tell in that second that he cracks just a bit more. Jeez, what was I doing to him? He already had enough troubles on his plate without having to deal with my problems; Bebe, his parents, the house, bills, his drinking, Karen.

"Just forget I said anything." I quickly change my mind but he grabs my arm as I turn to walk away.

"No." He stares at me, his blue eyes full of sadness and pain. "No, I'm coming with you."


	35. Secrets at Stark's Pond

**Chapter 34:**

 _ **I would like to apologise for the lack of updates. I have been busy as hell and haven't had time to get my head around anything. Plus, when I have found any time to write, writers block has taken over. This chapter may be a bit rubbish so forgive me for that, I didn't know what direction to take this in.**_

 **Kyle PoV**

As Bebe was busy entertaining Cartman on the morning announcements instead of turning up to homeroom, I was stuck sat alone at the back of the classroom.

My main concern was that Stan clearly had no intention of joining me and instead was spending this time with his new friends. He didn't look particularly happy about it; his head was bent and he was carving something into the table with a compass. Maybe it was my name... No shut up Kyle.

I could try and push him out of my head as much as possible, but as hard as I tried, the harder it became. I couldn't stop thinking about him. When I wake up in the morning, he is first person to enter my head all the way through to when I go to bed at night. I had also begun having continuous dreams about him, which worried me even more.

Everything I did was to try and impress him, though he hardly ever noticed me. I had been neglected. My hope that breaking up with Wendy would bring him back to me was fading. But no matter how much he pushed me away, it just made me... Want him more. As a friend I mean... Of course.

I was putting it down to an obsession. Something that would pass over time... I had felt this way about video games before... Playing them morning until night and then having them stick in my head. Except I wasn't playing with Stan... Unfortunately.

Luckily my thoughts are now interrupted by Cartman's highly irritating voice that booms out over the classroom.

"Students of South Park high." He speaks in a serious tone. "If you could please turn your attention to the big screen."

The projector begins to show a picture of Cartman's face, where he sits doing the announcements. Oh fucking hell, not this shit again. This was exactly what he did in fourth grade when he told everyone Wendy wanted to kill Smurfs.

"These are the morning announcements and I am Eric Cartman." The words I had heard countless times echoed over the room. "Today we have a special guest with us; Bebe Stevens. The used-to-be princess of South Park high who is now... A little bit different. Bebe, what has changed?"

"Nothing." She mutters.

"Well evidently your weight has changed." He chuckles, he was loving this. "Why might that be?"

"Because I've started eating fat boys like you for breakfast." She spits but this just cracks him up.

"Is that because they have begun to reject you since you became the size of a house?" He sniggers and then diverts the subject. "I would like to ask you about your relationship with Kenny McCormick."

"What about it?" She folds her arms defensively over her body.

"Well I think even a blind man could see that you've both been a bit... Distanced lately." Cartman proposes. "It's my job to keep the students up to date with who's on the market."

"Well Kenny's not on the market, so you can take him off the list." She retorts.

"Right so he's not getting it on with Heidi Turner then?" He asks quizzically.

"No." She replies, abruptly.

"Or Wendy Testaburger?"

"NO!" She raises her voice at the mention of Wendy's name.

"Well they seem to be spending a lot of time together." Cartman jeers. I turn my head to look at Kenny who is sat awkwardly next to Wendy, Heidi twirling her hair around her finger, trying to catch his eye.

"Well unlike some people I'm not a protective girlfriend who says he can't spend time with other people." She spits. "Like Wendy."

I see Wendy suddenly look up at the screen, which she hasn't been even the slightest bit interested in up until this point.

"What do you mean by that?" Cartman inquires, desperate to twist the knife in further.

"Well if her boyfriend... Sorry 'ex' boyfriend even talks to another girl and shit goes down." She laughs.

"Language." Cartman scolds.

"You bitch." Wendy mutters and Kenny puts his hand on her shoulder protectively.

"Well she did find him sleeping with her 'ex' best friend." Cartman points out.

"'Ex' second best friend." She prompts him. "And unlike some people we don't just jump into bed with the first person who comes along."

"Was that directed at anyone in particular?" Cartman asks, deluded in the fact that she was actually on about him.

"Oh no... Course not." She gives another wicked laugh. "Not the guy who gives his V card to the school prostitutes."

"Oi!" Portia pipes up.

"He's got a point." Lexus shrugs, not even caring that they were currently publicly bitching about her.

"You're one to talk." He scoffs. "Who did you climb into bed with when you were what? Twelve?"

"Don't talk about that." Bebe mutters.

"Clyde Donovan." Cartman whispers the name, teasing her with it. "You hypocrite."

I notice Clyde looking shiftily at the screen.

"You know nothing about that." Bebe shakes her head at him. "So shut it."

"Eric, that's enough now, lessons should be starting." I hear Principal Victoria call from off screen.

"Thing is Bebe. I know everything." He smirks.

"Eric, you've got five seconds to wrap it up." She yells again as Cartman turns to the camera.

"You see, what Bebe Stevens isn't telling any of you..." He pauses, looking at her worried expression. "Is that she's actually-"

The room is instantly plunged into darkness, computer screens switching off with a click, as Cartman's voice disappears.

"Waaaah!" Butters squeals. "Apocalypse."

"Butters it's a fucking blackout." Craig mutters.

"Actually what?" Lola yells, which is the question playing on everyone's minds, because for once, we were actually interested in the morning announcements.

 **Stan PoV**

"So Stan, how was school today?" Mom asks as she places down the steamed vegetables to go with our chicken.

"Alright." I mutter, loading a few vegetables onto my plate and then stirring them round my plate with a fork.

"Just alright?" Dad asks, his mouth full of food. "That's all we ever get from you nowadays. Not that we ever see you, you're stuck in your room."

"Yeah so I can avoid stupid questions like that." I spit.

"How's football going?" Mom continues, thinking maybe this would brighten my mood. But it didn't. Nothing did.

"Alright." I repeat, causing me to receive rolled eyes from Shelley.

"Can you at least try to be sociable Stanley?" Mom sighs and then tries again. "How are you exams going?"

"Oh exams are going brilliantly." I smile and speak in the most sarcastic voice possible. "Yeah, peak of my life this, never been happier. I feel so lucky to have been given this gift of being a senior in high school. Thank you so much mom and dad for bringing me into this beautiful world."

"Enough." Dad stops me, dropping his cutlery down onto his plate forcefully. Luckily I was saved the lecture by the doorbell which rings out, interrupting the awkward silence that was resting upon our shoulders. My eyes follow dad as he rises from his chair and goes to open the door. I can hear a mumbled voice, it sounds like a female, around my age.

Oh my God it was Wendy. Shit. I wasn't ready to see her. Wasn't ready to hear her apologies and then kiss her and lie with her all night, the smell of her hair being my pillow.

"Stan there's a girl here for you." Dad calls.

Jesus he could address her by her name. I smooth down my jeans as best as possible, brush my hair to the side and paint a smile on my face. Ok, I could do this. If I could just talk to her. Maybe we could sort things out.

"I didn't know you were-" I am stopped when I see the face standing at my door. It wasn't Wendy, it wasn't Wendy at all. I feel my heart drop in my chest but try my best to keep the smile on my face, adamant to deny who I was actually hoping to see. "Emily... Hi?"

"Hi." She waves, what the hell was she doing here? She stands awkwardly for a few seconds and I was very aware that my family were sitting about two meters away, listening in, with only the open door to cover us.

"Did you... Want something or?" I prompt and her face suddenly snaps back to reality.

"Oh yeah..." She nods. "Have you heard from Douglas?"

"Douglas? No." I frown. "Why?"

"He won't pick up his phone." She wrings her hands, anxiously. "It just goes straight to voicemail."

"Maybe it's run out of charge?" I suggest.

"No... It's weird... He wasn't right at school today." She sighs, looking down at her shoes.

"Well have you checked his house?" I advise and observe as she doesn't raise her head.

"I um... I don't know where he lives." She bites her lip.

"Don't know where she lives?" I give a slight laugh. "I thought you two were really close."

"He's really secretive about that stuff." She shakes her head.

"It's South Park... It's not really New York City." I scoff. "It's hardly gotta be difficult to find your one of your best friend's houses."

"Well... I was gonna go look for him." She finally looks up. "Only... I was wondering if you'd come with me?"

I glance backwards to where my family were eating in silence, trying to eavesdrop on my conversation. Anything was better than being in this shit hole.

"I'm going out." I yell before slamming the door behind me.

"Thank you." Emily smiles at me, and we head on down the garden path.

 **Three Hours Later**

"Look, it's almost midnight now." I check my watch, my hands freezing cold. "I'm sure he'll be at his house, wherever that is."

"I suppose..." Emily mumbles, tucking her hands into the sleeves of her coat. Yet we were still pacing round Stark's pond, trying to think of anywhere else he could possible live. Having lived here for seventeen years, I knew over three quarters of the residents and their houses. I had spent my childhood trick or treating or offering to shovel the snow off people's drives so I could put a face to a house. However, I could not work out where Douglas lived. Not once had I called at a house that happened to be his. "Well at least we tried."

"You look freezing." I tell her. "I'll walk you home, come on."

I try to pull her arm gently but she's glued to the spot. For a second I wonder maybe she has actually frozen.

"Stan?" She whispers and I turn my head in the direction she was looking. I can faintly make out the outline of a boy in the darkness, face turned towards the pond, lying stiff on a bench. "Douglas?" She raises her voice, running over to him. "Doug?" Shaking him harshly he sits up suddenly, eyes wide with fear. "What the hell are you doing?" Emily slaps him lightly and then pulls him into a tight hug.

I can't help but feel like a third wheel. I could tell from the second I saw her at the door that she was worried sick about Douglas. I hadn't known either of them too long, so me standing here staring at them felt a bit out of place.

"Forgive me for interrupting..." I cough, approaching them awkwardly. "But... What are you doing here Douglas?"

"It's a long story..." He sighs, burying his head in his hands once Emily had finally let go. "Well actually it's not that long... Just... Complicated."

"What is it?" Emily meets his eyes supportively.

"...I'm an orphan." He says so quietly I almost don't hear him. In fact I hope that I haven't. "...My mom died when I was six."

"What?" Emily gasps. I instantly feel a surge of guilt for being such a depressive prick over the past few weeks. Loving family, head of the football team, beautiful girlfriend, great friends... Then there was Douglas who keeps his head up no matter what. He had been giving _me_ support for what I was going through.

"I've missed my curfew at the orphanage..." He sighs. "So... I came here to sleep."

"The orphanage?" Emily frowns.

"It's in Denver." He tells her, tears brimming in his eyes. "I never wanted to tell anyone... Because well... It's embarrassing."

I exchange a look with Emily before she wraps him back into a hug.

"You can stay with me tonight." I offer and he smiles at me appreciatively before resting his head back on Emily's shoulder.

 _ **Credit to RatherOddRanger for some of the ideas in this chapter.**_


	36. Diagnosis

_**Yeah, I'm going to say sorry because this book has really been affecting me, some of the issues I took on, I have been coping with and I wanted to take a break. Updates are going to be slow but I'm going to try and finish this the best I can. Thank you for your patience.**_

 _ **P.s. I've been doing a lot of British fics recently so the American terminology might be on the latter. Sorry again.**_

 **Chapter 35:**

 **Stan PoV**

"Stan, who's that filthy kid in the grey hat?" Dad hisses at me, pointing to the kitchen table.

"Ok, keep your voice down will you?" I spit. "He's my friend, Douglas."

"Why's he here?" Dad asks. "And why is he sat in my seat? I store the occasional cookie under the cushion there for if your mothers cooking is shit."

"Oh shut up." I glare at him, heading back into the dining room. "Here you go." I place the bowl of cereal down in front of him and he picks at it awkwardly.

"Soo!" Dad takes a seat opposite him, folding his arms. "What brings you here, Douglas?"

"Um... Sorry I'm only here for the night." Douglas gulps.

"No you're not you'll stay as long as you like!" I argue, shooting another look at dad.

"Parents chuck you out?" Dad pesters.

"Uh... I don't have parents." He responds.

"Oh don't talk like that." Dad waves his hand. "Stan pretended once that we were dead, just so he could go to his friend's grandma's house... Mind you, I'm not surprised, we can get super annoying."

"Dad shut it." I grimace.

"This one time, I went to every one of his baseball games just to beat other men up." He informs him. "Then this other time, I made everyone in the town live off Margarita's. Oh, oh and Stan, tell your friend about the Blockbuster."

"No." I drone.

"Blockbuster?" Douglas pipes up.

"I used to work at this Blockbuster see." He babbles on. "Stan hated it because he said it was tacky and old fashioned, which now I think about it, it was. It was in a state too the place. But I got it cheap because the previous owner blew her brains out!"

"...Yeah." Douglas nods. "Yeah that was my mum."

"...Oh." Dad mutters, looking at me for some sort of help, but I just bury my head in my hands. "...Well I'm off for a shower."

 **Kyle PoV**

"Oi." I elbow Bebe in the ribs. "Oi, what is going on with Stan and that dude?"

"Hey?" Bebe asks me, exasperatedly. "Oh... I don't know why?"

"They've been spending loads of time together." I eye them up cautiously and she rolls her eyes.

"Do you want to make it any more obvious?" She hisses.

"What?" I frown, tearing my eyes away from him for a second.

"Stan." She replies, bluntly.

"What about him?" I suddenly panic, going to defend myself and she looks slightly taken aback.

"...That you're jealous." She prompts.

"No I'm not I'm just... Curious." I shrug. "That's all."

"Yeah I know." She grins before getting up. "I can tell you're curious."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I question but she's walking away now. Curious? What was she implying?

My thoughts are interrupted when Clyde enters the classroom, he immediately rams his fist down on my desk and I look up at him, confused.

"Did you want something?" I ask and he bursts out laughing, as does Jason, who is at his side.

"Faggot." Clyde spits and the word hits me hard in the chest. I see a few people spin around to look at me.

"...Sorry?" I force back a gulp and he laughs again.

"So you haven't seen your locker?" He narrows his eyes and I shake my head, noticing Stan turning to look in my direction. Oh wow, this was humiliating. "Yeah well someone has written your secret on it."

"What secret?" I try to keep my voice from reaching a higher pitch but Clyde has already gone over to greet Token. I turn to look at Stan, who's eyes are fixated on me, before getting up and leaving the classroom, storming down the corridors of South Park High, until I reach my locker. Clyde was right, someone had defaced my property in thick red spray paint.

'I am gay'. 'Coming out of the locker'. 'Faggot'. 'I love dick'.

The words screamed at me, as if gloating, resting before my eyes. I blink a few times to check it was real before my name booms out over the intercom.

"Kyle Broflovski to the principle's office please." A voice calls out. "That's Kyle Broflovski to the principle's office."

"Kyle I think the principal wants you." Casey Miller pipes up as he walks past me, his nasal voice cutting through my shock.

"Wow really?" I snap and he peers round me to identify my locker.

"Woah..." He gasps. "I did not know you were-"

"Oh shut up." I spit, forcing my way past him and towards the principals office. I open the door without knocking and Mr Mackey looks up in shock.

"Kyle, come in." Principal Victoria says in a sarcastic tone.

"Kyle, we've noticed this morning that your locker has been vandalised mmkay." Mr Mackey greets me as I slump down in the spare seat. "Did you know that locker costs a lot for us to fund? Mmkay? You'll be paying that in debts for the damage you have caused-"

"Woah." I hold my hand up. "You think I did that shit?"

"Language Kyle." Principal Victoria prompts. "This is a very serious matter, damaging a member of school property is an offence."

"Take it up with the low life's who did do it then." I snap and she gives me a blank look.

"So you're saying you didn't do this?" She questions.

"No..." I roll my eyes. "I just decided to write a load of crap on my locker for the fun of it. Humiliate myself a bit, you know?"

"Kyle, being gay shouldn't be something you are ashamed of mmkay." Mr Mackey tells me.

"I'm not..." I begin to object, hesitating slightly before lowering my voice. "I'm not gay."

"You don't have to deny it." He continues and I force myself up off my chair.

"I'M NOT GAY!" I yell and pull the door open to reveal a group of students who were sniggering outside of the door. "FUCK OFF!" I yell, before pushing past them and heading back down the corridor.

 **Stan PoV**

"Aren't you gonna eat that?" Emily asks me, as I pick at a sandwich.

"No." I sigh, pushing my plate away. "Do you want it?"

"I'll have your pickle." She shrugs, pulling it out and chewing on it whilst she stares me down.

"Stan are you ok?" Francis asks me and I nod.

"You don't look ok." Douglas dares to add.

"Look I meant to apologise for what my dad said earlier." I interject.

"Yeah..." He nods. "You've apologised many times."

"Yeah but it was horrible of him." I continue. "He doesn't think sometimes. Never shuts his gob for one second."

"I said it was fine." He forces a laugh. "I'm used to it anyway... All the kids at the... Tease me about it all the time."

I watch Francis and Emily exchange awkward glances, it had been a lot to take in and Douglas was doing a better job of it than us.

"I just feel like a massive weight is pressing down on me." I sigh, diverting the conversation. "All the time. It's stopping me from being happy. Stopping me from doing what I love... Like its controlling me... That sounds stupid but..."

"...No it doesn't." Emily shakes her head at me and I frown. "I know... About that." I see her look at Douglas and he tilts his head slightly.

"What do you mean you know about that?" I question, aware that there was something invisible going on between them.

"Ok, I tell you this and it never gets out." Emily lowers her voice. "Ever. Promise?"

"Promise." I confirm, a look of concern in my eyes.

"...When my mum had a drinking problem..." She says quietly. "I was diagnosed with depression. I was extremely low and down and I didn't want to do anything. I just isolated myself, blamed myself. I used to lock myself away in my bedroom and... Uh... Well I used to self harm, you know? On my thighs where no one could see. It was my way of expressing emotion, because once I left that room I had to pretend to be someone I wasn't. When inside I knew I was drowning."

"I didn't..." I try and fill the silence and she hesitates before going on.

"I uh..." She gulps. "Things got really bad. I began to think about ending it all. I thought I was worthless, there were some days when I didn't even feel alive. I just felt like I was existing rather than living. So I went to the doctors, told them about how I was feeling... And they really helped me. When they told me I had depression I was shocked but it all seemed to make sense. They sent me to this group therapy organisation, where we would take counselling in groups... Thought processing... And uh..."

"And that's where she met me." Douglas pipes up.

"Yeah and me." Francis adds and my eyes dart from one to the other.

"Well obviously we knew of each other before that but... We were never close." Douglas explains. "But this... Group it helped us to know what each of us were going through and relate our feelings to theirs..."

"Feelings that sound similar to yours." Francis points out and my eyes widen.

"Hey..." I laugh slightly. "No... Uh... No, I think you've got this wrong... Nothing has happened in my life to cause me to have this... Disease."

"It's not a disease Stan." Emily giggles. "It's a mental health disorder and I've learnt that it's perfectly alright to accept it."

"Yeah being in denial won't help." Francis informs me. "I had so many rules oppressed on me for my religion and our family were broke and it all just... Fell apart."

"Yeah exactly." I object, quickly lowering my voice so no one could hear. "You had real, proper issues. Emily's mom was drinking, Douglas was in an orphanage. I'm not like that, I have a perfectly... Normal life... If I went to the doctor they'd say I was being pathetic."

"No they wouldn't." Emily stops me. "They never tell you that. They're there to help, not to lie to you."

"I'm just... Hormonal that's all." I shrug.

"Suit yourself dude." Douglas places a hand on my shoulder. "But if I were you? I'd go to the doctor as soon as possible. Else you don't know what could happen..."


	37. Eruption In Homeroom

**_Hiya, so I've been conversing with RatherOddRanger about the book for a while now and he's been giving me some brilliant ideas for the story, so thank you so much to him. Yes, I haven't updated this in forever, so it might be a shock when this comes through but oh well!_**

 **Wendy POV**

I decided to take a long walk to school this morning on my own, no Craig who's probably sick of me, no Kenny who's probably drunk and especially no Bebe after what she said about me yesterday in Cartman's so-called 'interview'.

It did make me wonder if I should attend my interview or not but then again my stress levels were high enough as it is.

''Ok we're off to school mom.'' I hear Stan's voice cry out. Shit. I didn't mean to walk down this way, it's just a habit I guess.

I quickly duck behind a parked car and slowly look over to see Stan getting a hug off his mom alongside that dirty looking kid who's been hanging out with him lately.

What's his name again? Donny? Donald? Dipper?

I look on a little confused as I see Sharon give whatever his name is a hug too who just stares at her unsure before giving her a hug back.

Ok that's odd, I've never seen her hug Kenny or Kyle like that...

I duck even further down behind the car as the pair start to walk towards it, they're so close that I can overhear part of the conversation.

''I really appreciate your mom letting me stay over again, I hate being a pest.'' He says to Stan who just smiles at him.

''Relax dude it's cool, besides I bet my bed is a lot more comfortable than what you're used to.'' Stan smiles as he pats the kid on the back who lets out a nervous laugh.

My eyes went wide as I listened to the pair walk down the street as my mind started racing. What did Stan mean about his bed? Was that kid sharing it with him or something? And who is he? I'm positive I recognise him... wait... What if they are sharing a bed?

Does that mean Stan's gay now? Oh God... I dated a gay guy?

I slowly get up as I watch the pair turn the corner, I freeze when Stan looks over at me but he then carries on walking. I guess he didn't see me but then again I don't want to talk to him or even face him for that matter not with so many thoughts running through my head right now.

 **Cartman POV**

I sit in my chair as the make up artist finishes applying the final touches to my cheeks and hair, glad I managed to get a decent breakfast at home. You've got to look great when ruining people right? The last thing I need is my stomach growling mid interview, throwing my off my A-game.

Well I have no doubt today was going to go as well as yesterday's interview regardless.

Come to think of it do I really need to ruin their reputations? They're ex-cheerleaders now, no longer part of Bebe's crumbling circle of popular kids and now dating two of the biggest dorks in the entire town.

I chuckle as I remember before Stoley, Lola was dating Bridon currently captain of the basketball team and member of the football team alongside being the school's heart throb.

Maybe if I was lucky I could trick Lola into saying she was sick of him wearing her underwear or got bored of sucking him off or something just as humiliating.

Jenny would be an easier target, all I have to do is remind her how she crapped her pants back in elementary school and a shower of tears would fall.

I hear the door open and look upwards as Lola and Jenny walk in, an assistant showing them to their seats but they stop him in mid sentence to ask him a question.

He looks confused before walking over.

''Uh… excuse me boss.'' He asks me nervously as I roll my eyes at him.

''Tiny, like I said before you don't have to call me boss… Grand Wizard Cartman yes but not boss.'' I say to him as he gulps.

''Now what's the matter Tiny?'' I question him as I tap an imaginary watch on my wrist. ''Time is money after all!''

''Well it's about the money.'' He finally manages to stammer out.

I raise an eyebrow at him, seeing him act so nervous was an added bonus today.

''What money? You're a media studies intern something or other, you're not getting paid!'' I shout at him, poking him in the chest.

''I didn't mean me, I meant the girls.'' He blurts out as he backs away. ''They want to know where their $50 are?''

I growl under my breath, god damn it I knew I forgot something.

 **Stan POV**

I rest my head in my arms as I slouch on my desk, the conversation from yesterday's lunch going back and forth through my mind.

I felt depressed but I never thought of it as a mental disease, I just assumed I was too emotional or it was just the hormones.

I mean my life is great, well if you count a crazy ass dad and the love of your life refusing to acknowledge your existence great…

I glance over at Wendy, she still has her back to me chatting away to Craig with a smile on her face whilst he just nods and shrugs.

I move my gaze over to Tweek who's just eyeing up Wendy with death glares and that's when I notice the bags underneath his eyes. Did the break up devastate him as much as it did me?

I feel my eyes tearing at the memory of our last kiss before glancing back. Considering Craig stole my girlfriend you'd think he'd show some more interest when she was talking to him.

 **Wendy POV**

''I can't believe Bebe yesterday; saying I jump at anyone who even talks to my boyfriend.'' I let out annoyed, the events of yesterday had really pissed me off and I just wanted someone to talk too.

''Ex-boyfriend …'' Craig corrects me before letting out a long sigh.

I look over at him slightly annoyed. I was comparing our homework, helping him out as a thank you for coming to the hospital so many times with me.

Don't get me wrong I'm thankful but it would be nice if he acted grateful for helping him keep solid grades to stay on the football team.

Before I can open my mouth to complain I suddenly notice he's staring at his phone, going through Facebook and looking up photos of him and Tweek when they were still dating. That's when it hits me; he misses him.

Well we can't have that.

''Hey Craig.'' I say as I rest my hand on his shoulder. ''Cheer up, I mean you know what they say right? There's plenty of more fish in the sea.''

Craig just looks over at me with a very mixed reaction, he looks partly appreciative but also annoyed at the same time.

I quickly glance over at Stan only to see him buried in his arms as if he is sleeping or something. Damn, I wanted him to see us right now, why didn't he pay any attention to me anymore? I'd love to see him squirm over the scene in front of him.

Emily and that kid in the grey hat sit down next to him and she pats him on the shoulder, he doesn't move and the pair exchange a worried look with Francis, who's gone over to sit next to Tweek. Why do they suddenly give a crap about him?

No doubt Emily wanted to get into Stan's pants or something or maybe even Douglas, yeah that would explain it.

That would explain why I saw him leaving Stan's house so early this morning.

They're probably like Red and Lisa Berger, both desperate to get popular by sucking off other peoples boyfriends... Well ex-boyfriends but the fact remains, I'm sick of people like that.

Angry, I look over at Red who's looking super pissed off at how close Emily is to Stan but also at Kevin who's chatting away with a worried looking Pete Melman.

It's like she can't decide who to stare, pissed off at the most especially as she's still annoyed over Lola dating Kevin now.

What do her and Lola see in that nerd? Then again, what does Jenny see in Pete?

Bebe's right, they're both so pathetic; Pete's on the football team but only as a reserve. Such a great catch Jenny landed there.

''Wendy?'' I hear Craig's voice snapping me back into reality. He looks at me confused and slightly worried.

''Um you ok?'' He asks me as I suddenly notice my hand is still on his shoulder. ''You're kind of hurting me.'' He points out sounding confused, no doubt due to my behaviour.

''Sorry, sorry.'' I quickly blurt out removing my hand just as the screen comes down for the morning announcements.

Great bad enough I blew my chance with Craig but now I've got to listen to Cartman talk crap for the next 10 odd minutes.

I wonder which idiot he got on to interview this time?

 **Kyle POV**

''They're getting awfully friendly lately.'' Kenny says to me as he nudges him in the side whilst crewing some strong mint flavoured chewing gum.

''Huh?'' I ask him confused, I wasn't really paying attention to what was going on, as my mind was still on yesterday over what happened with my locker.

Who on earth knew my secret? Was it Bebe? She joked about my jealously yesterday but even _she_ wouldn't have done that? Would she?

''There.'' Kenny points to Emily patting Stan on the back before moving his hand over to Wendy and Craig. ''And I was going to say that before Wendy moved her hand off his shoulder.''

I simply sigh to myself and as Bebe finally arrives into class and sits down next to Kenny, no doubt late due to morning sickness.

The two hold hands on the desk and Kenny looked as if he didn't have a care in the world. He's been drinking this morning, hasn't he? That would explain the gum and that smell of beer coming from his jacket.

 **Stan POV**

''Good morning fellow South Park students.'' I hear Cartman say as I look up. I look over at Emily as she has her hand on my arm, giving me a gentle squeeze.

She smiles at me and I kind of smile back, or at least try to. It just hits me how much of lovely smile she has alongside that lovely shade of blue in her eyes.

I sit up, only just now realising how much of a mess I look, noticing Douglas right beside me as Francis sits next to us alongside a very upset looking Tweek.

He nods at us with a smile and I smile back just as I notice Tweek is just looking down at his desk.

''Today as part of our interview series I am joined today with Jenny Simons and Lola… Lola... Sorry what's your last name again?'' Cartman asks but immediately interrupts her within his next breath.

''You know what it doesn't matter, I don't really give a crap.''

I quickly glance over at Kevin Stoley who's looking annoyed whilst Pete just looks on in shock.

''Did you know about this?'' He blurts out, as Kevin just shakes his head.

''Just get it over with, fatty.'' Jenny angrily snaps at Cartman who just laughs.

'Ok, ok.'' He laughs before composing himself. ''So today we're taking a look at people who have fallen from grace or namely people who quit being cheerleaders and dump their jock boyfriends for a pair of dork nerds.''

"...Wait what?" I hear Bridon drone from his seat alongside Clyde Donovan. "Lola broke up with me?"

There was a brief silence, as all we could hear was Mr Mackey telling off Cartman on the monitor.

Was Bridon being fucking serious?

"Nah dude, I bet Kevin's just a rebound to make you jealous or something." Clyde adds patting Bridon on the back.

"I mean who in their right mind would want to sleep with that nerd?" He says, pointing to Kevin without even looking at him.

''You want help with that maths test next week or not Donovan? Because last time I checked I didn't need a grade higher than a C to stay on the football team!" Kevin shouted at him loudly making Clyde regret his recent words.

"I was joking dude... Please help me pass that test." Clyde quickly stammers as Token just smirks and nods approvingly at Kevin whilst Jason just laughs loudly.

Wow I had no idea Kevin had that power over him, would explain why Clyde never bothers him I guess.

"You know…" Jenny began crossing her arms. "I have no problem handing back this fifty dollars and ending this interview right here."

"I didn't get fifty dollars." Bebe mutters, towards no one in particular.

"Jenny agreed to this for money?'' Pete asked Kevin, confused, who in turn stared at the monitor in shock.

I see Cartman on the monitor mumble something under his breath as he re-arranges his interview cards before finally saying "Fine, whatever." Alongside a loud huff of annoyance. "Ok…" He begins. "So for years, well since elementary school, you two have been iconic members of the cheerleader squad until you both recently joint resigned."

"Yeah and so?" Lola asks him, confused.

"So I'm sure the school would love to know why you two just decided to quit on a whim?" Cartman raises an eyebrow, inquisitively.

"Ok first it's no one's business and second if people must know, I quit because personally I'm sick of Bebe telling us who we can and can't date." Jenny spits out angrily. "Considering she's all lovey dovey with the new town drunk, it's amazing how over protective of Clyde 'Windmill' Donovan she is."

"Windmill?" Cartman asks the pair, no doubt as confused as the rest of us, whilst Clyde just tries to hide himself under his jacket.

"Clyde's idea of asking a girl on a date is to get his dick out and wave it around like a windmill." Jenny says, flatly, looking very unimpressed.

"He thinks it's sexy and that it turns girls on... It's not and doesnt, it's really not sexy at all… It's just gross on so many levels." Lola adds, rolling her eyes. "Last time he tried it was when I was still dating Bridon and-"

"WHAT THE HELL CLYDE?" Bridon shouted at him as he squirmed.

"Actually wait..." Lola starts and then stops, thinking something over before clicking her fingers. "My mistake, the last time was at that Raisins girl's party whilst my Kevie went to get me a drink."

"Oh, you mean where Cartman slept with a hooker?" Jenny adds, as Cartman grunts loudly, in sync with a few of the Raisins girls.

"You're failing that test then." Kevin shouts as he throws a large and thick text book towards Clyde.

"Oh God I remember that, I was sitting right next to you, he thought that little stunt would land him a three way or something." Jenny added as Pete slammed his desk in rage causing Clyde to jump in fear.

"Holy crap was not expecting that." Cartman mumbles, as he rearranges his cards. "So yeah… You mentioned something about Bebe enforcing some dating rules or something?"

"Oh yeah, so basically Bebe had this mentality that we cheerleaders could only date dumb jocks like Clyde and despite Pete being on the football team that wasn't enough." Jenny states, the anger evident in her voice.

"Which sucked for me because the only decent guy being Pete was taken. All I was left with was Jason, Clyde and Bridon who never took any interest in me when we did date." Lola crosses her arms whilst Cartman was clearly scheming a question.

"What about Stan Marsh? If he had been available like now would you have asked him?" Cartman gloated no doubt hoping that question would annoy me or worse, piss off Wendy.

Lola simply shrugs at the question. "I'm not in the habit of stealing other peoples boyfriends unlike a certain bitchy red head I know."

I look over and see Red breaking her pencil in half with a pissed off look on her face. Cartman was clearly on a mission to target as many individuals as possible and I had a feeling it wasn't going to stop here...

 **Wendy POV**

"Um… Ok then, so next question is why? Why did you dump some so-called dumb jocks for a pair of nerds?" Cartman asks as Jenny gets annoyed again.

"Ok first off, I didn't dump anyone and grab the next available guy." She says turning to Lola with a apoplectic look. "No offence Lola."

"None taken." She adds with a shrug as Jenny continues.

"I've been dating Pete since middle school but no thanks to Bebe's insane logic, I was made to feel ashamed for my feelings for Pete because he wasn't popular enough. Apparently being friends for _years_ at Sunday school and attending mass together every Sunday wasn't enough for her." Jenny stated as her tone got angrier and angrier. "It got to the point last year that my depression kicked back in, you know the one I've been suffering from thanks to your cupcake back in elementary school." She reconciles whilst pointing an accusing finger at Cartman.

I bite my lip, I had no idea Jenny had felt like that. Usually the girls like Nicole used to come to me for dating advice but clearly Jenny thought she couldn't come to me for help... Did the other girls think I would snitch to Bebe or something?

 **Kyle PoV**

"Uh... Let's move on..." Cartman manages to nervously say whilst Lola looks offended.

"Hey I didn't get to answer-"

"No one cares about you blowing the nerd king." Cartman cuts her off, angrily. It was evident this interview wasn't going the way he hoped but Jenny wasn't clearly finished yet as she took a deep breath to calm herself.

"Pete thought he was the cause of my depression and even suggested breaking up because of how much keeping our love secret was getting to me." She starts as Lola places an arm on her back for emotional support.

"So why didn't you?" Cartman questions in a 'matter of fact' tone as the classroom went silent. All that was heard was the sound of Pete getting out of his chair, only to be stopped by a concerned Kevin.

"Pete, dude, he's not worth it." Kevin pleads, trying to calm his angered friend down.

"Because I love him you idiot!" Jenny shouts into Cartman's face whilst shoving her hand directly at him.

"See this ring on my finger? It's a purity pledge ring! Instead of breaking up I told Pete we should take the purity pledge together to show that no matter how much crap people like Bebe throw at us, at the end of the day we'll still have each other." Jenny states as Cartman just blinks at her, confused.

"So you're going to wait until your married to fuck Pete Melman? That's fucking dumb!" Cartman retorts as Jenny simply laughs at him.

"That is dumb, who'd be stupid enough to agree to that?" I hear Kenny shout out, clearly too drunk to remember what happened with Tammy Warner.

"I'm dumb for wanting to marry my boyfriend, the man I love because I still have some morals unlike the sex addicts in this school?" She scoffs. "Yes, how dare I choose to wait to have sex for the first time with him on my wedding night? How dare I decide I'd rather lose my virginity to the man I love and not to some cheap hooker like a certain someone."

"Like the girl you lost your virginity to."

Lola states the obvious, causing Cartman to go red in the face.

"Oh yeah?" He shouts at Lola. "I'll bet Stoley is lousy in bed!"

"Wrap it up Eric." The principal yells as the bell rings out for the start of lessons. I gather my things, having no desire to endure Cartman's rant about how the morning announcements weren't long enough.

 **Wendy PoV**

I stare blankly at the computer, my fingers shaking as I scan over the 'Eavesdropper' logo that was lit up on my computer screen. I felt twisted, but that's what the cancer was doing to me. I wanted everyone to feel the pain I felt. I wanted other people to suffer, just as I was.

Before I could turn back, I press the 'enter' button on the keyboard, the gossip I had exposed flying to the top of the screen.

And with that, I had restarted the website that ruined our childhood.


	38. Jealousy Strikes

**Kyle PoV**

I sit on my bed, jealousy writhing in my stomach as I stare down at the photograph on my phone. Having been one of the first to notice eavesdropper was back, I was quick to formulate my plan of making Stan mine.

I rub my thumb gently over his face, tilted slightly towards Douglas as they lay together in bed. The sooner this got out, the sooner I could swoop in and be the hero.

Someone else had got there first. Someone else had started the job. I didn't know who, but someone had made this a whole lot easier for me.

It was simple, one click and it would be up there. Just one click.

 **Stan PoV**

"I don't think I can..." I mutter, my fingers hovering over the mouse as Douglas sits beside me, waiting patiently for me to book the appointment. "What do I even talk about?"

"How you're feeling." He explains. "That's the whole point of this, they've seen it all before... You know, maybe we're wrong. But it's better to be safe than sorry Stan."

"Ok..." I murmur, building up a wave of courage before it gets knocked down again. For fucks sake, why was I suddenly so weak? So nervous? I needed to get a grip, I wanted to be my old self again and there was only one way to do that.

I force my finger down on the button and a green tick appears before my eyes.

 _'Appointment confirmed - view your details on account settings.'_

"There you go." Douglas says, brightly. "Feel any better?"

"No. I feel a hell of a lot worse." I drone, proceeding to close the lid of my laptop before something catches my eye.

"You have an email." Douglas points out, as I notice it myself, opening the lid back up and clicking on it.

 _'Cc/Bcc From:_ _craigtuckerdicksucker_

 _Subject: Join the club_

 _Dude... I had no idea! Before you start getting all the abuse from the homophobes, know that I'm super happy for you bro._

 _Sent from my iPhone.'_

"...No idea about what?" Douglas raises his voice slightly, whilst I linger over the word 'homophobes'. I scan the email again before briefly replying with; 'what do you mean' and sending it. "He's already replied."

I move the mouse to where another email has instantly come through, but see its from someone else.

 _'Cc/Bcc From:_ _kingdonovan5028_

 _Subject: What the fuck_

 _Dude... Not u as well... What even is this shit?_

 _newsfeed/3009653_

 _Hot girls reply only plz.'_

"It'll be spam." Douglas reassures me, despite the fact we both knew it wasn't. We registered the 'eavesdropper' hyperlink before anything else. "Someone probably hacked his account or something... I mean, it says 'hot girls reply only please' at the bottom."

"Yeah, that's just his footer." I explain, not really paying attention. "You know like the 'sent from my iPhone' thing? He changed his to that."

"Well are you gonna click on it?" Douglas gulps.

"I thought you said it was spam." I point out, a lump forming in my throat as he gives me a shifty look. With a sudden urge I press the link, my screen forwarding me to the page I hadn't seen in so many years.

 _'Eavesdropper is back and better than ever. Grab your latest local gossip here, or post opinions, secrets or advice anonymously online.'_

"Who the hell has started this up again?" I snap, scrolling down the page to what Clyde had been intending I read.

 _'Stan Marsh and Douglas the tramp rumoured to be in gay relationship after evidence was gathered the other day.'_

I stare at it in shock, glancing at Douglas who looks equally as confused and concerned.

"What have you been saying?" I blurt out and he looks slightly hurt at this.

"Nothing!" He exclaims. "But if you click on it maybe you'll find out who has."

 _'Students Stan Marsh and Douglas O'Dirtbag (no one knows his real surname) have been recently reported to be sleeping together. A source gathered evidence on Tuesday that Douglas had in fact been sleeping in Stan's bed, after being overheard on leaving a house that morning. Stan allegedly said 'I bet my bed is a lot more comfortable than what you're used to' to his friend, thus implying that the pair did engage in sexual intercourse that night, and if not, most definitely shared an intimate moment together in bed. The pair have also been acknowledged as 'suddenly close' by several members of South Park High, following Stan's break up with Wendy Testaburger. But the fact remains, was this enough to pull him kicking and screaming out of the closet? As the boys still have not gone official on this supposed relationship.'_

"Dude... What the fuck?" I drone, after reading the article, Douglas frozen beside me. "Who would even do this?"

"Someone who wants to stir shit..." He replies. "And someone who really doesn't like us."

 **Kenny PoV**

"Stoley!" I shout at the top of my lungs as I race towards him in the crowded hallway. I didn't care who saw me now, someone was causing shit again and I was gonna throw accusations around until I got the right culprit.

Kevin looks up from his locker, confused and just simply raises an eyebrow at me. "What?" He says to me coldly, as if I was nothing compared to him.

"Don't 'what' me" I snap at him as I slam my fist against his locker. "This crap ends now."

''Look I don't know what you're talking about and frankly I don't care!'' He rolls his eyes, picking up his bag and trying to act tough, when deep down I knew he was still the weak, nerdy kid that no one liked.

"Eavesdropper!" I snarl at him. "I want it shut down now."

"Wait, you think I'm running that thing?" He pauses, a little taken aback by this.

"It popped up after Lola and Jenny's interview with Cartman, of course it's you and pants crapper!'' I point out as I jab a finger at him, only for him to swat it away. "You were mad at Cartman and wanted to defend your little girlfriend so decided to get revenge on everyone else!"

"Don't fucking insult my best friend you drunk!" He snaps at me, catching me off guard. "And I'm not the only one who holds a grudge against Cartman. If anything, they hold a grudge against you or Stan, you're the ones who's private lives are being broadcast across the Internet."

"Jeez, now he's being sucked off by the popular chick, he's suddenly all macho." Someone mutters from behind me, and Kevin glares in their direction.

"Bill, Fosse." He shouts as two people jump in fright. "If you want to pass that test next week then I suggest you button it... Same goes for all you other fucks that keep begging me to help them with their homework! You got it? Last time I checked _you_ all needed _me_ , I've never needed your money!''

Ok so now I knew why nobody ever ripped into him, he had more than just me and the jocks on the payroll.

"That's some great friends you've got there Kevin... You've got the whole school on side. Yet I thought it was just pants crapper, a guy with a lisp, the other Jew, Butters, the list of sad and pathetic loser friends of yours in that nerd club goes on…"

"What the hell do you know about friends anyway?" Kevin yells, snapping me back into reality. "Last time I checked, you nearly got yours killed alongside your slut of a girlfriend! And what? Where have they been whilst you drink yourself into oblivion?"

"I'm not here to discuss my drinking habits or the likes of 'Star Wars' with you Kevin." I spit, avoiding his insults. "I want you to tell me whether or not you're behind this return of eavesdropper."

"If I was, why would I have posted the stuff about Stan?" He points out and that does make me think. "He's one of my close friends at the moment, I would have no reason to expose those rumours about him and Douglas."

"Which aren't true by the way." Stan suddenly chips in from the crowd and it immediately parts so he is standing alone. He looked awful, it was the first time I had properly observed him since the break up and it was clear he wasn't in a good place. His eyes were sunken, with heavy grey bags slung beneath them and stubble creeping up the sides of his face.

For the past month I was treating Stan like shit for sleeping with Red whilst he was on a break and yet, I had done worse things like taking Tammy to that Jonas Brothers concert just to get a blow job, or spying on Stan's mom as she showered, when I was thirteen.

Kevin's eyes were burning into the back of my neck now that I had turned to look at Stan. What was I doing? I was a mess. I was turning up most days completely wasted, I couldn't control myself, everyone knew that. Then, to offload all my troubles I decided to shift the blame of things on to other people.

"You're right..." I mutter, not moving my eyes from Stan, who was eyeing me up weirdly. "I'm sorry." I manage to say, before slumping off up the corridor, disappointed sighs erupting from the crowd as a result of the anti-climax.

 **Bebe PoV**

"What's this?" I glance at the dieting pills mom places on the table in front of me.

"Have you lost your ability to read as well as eat healthily?" She snaps, rudely. "I've had a letter home from the school. You're overweight, as if I hadn't noticed already."

"What and dieting pills is the answer to that?" I raise my voice, pushing them away. "Some mother you are."

"I just don't know what's going on." She shrugs. "A few months ago and you were perfect... Now you're just-"

"Define 'perfect'." I practically spit, this was so humiliating for me.

"Well I know as teenagers get older their hormones kick in and weight gain is usually evident but..." She trails off. "Well this is insane."

"Oh you know what?" I smack my fist down on the table, standing up abruptly. "Stop telling me how to live my life and sort out your own."

"Mine is perfectly fine." She snaps. " _You_ need to learn to take care of yourself properly."

"I am!" I yell, anger fuelling in my veins.

"Well clearly not." She retorts. "Else you wouldn't be the size of a house-"

"I'm pregnant!" I scream, the room falling silent for a few seconds before the microwave inconsiderately beeps constantly, as if trying to defer the subject.

"What?" Mom questions, her voice low as she stares me in the eyes. "What did you say?"

"I said..." I whisper, not having the words to formulate, squinting at the persistent beeping that was sounding before mom gives it a rough shake.

"Shut up!" She yells, pushing it onto the floor in anger as it smashes, wires flying everywhere and the bowl of what looked like soup spewing out onto the floor. We stare at it in silence, with nothing to save us now, neither of us moving an inch. "...Get out." She murmurs, not moving her eyes from the floor. I nod, turning on my heel. I had been prepared for this, unlike most pregnant teenagers I knew this had been coming. But it wouldn't be for long. I would stop at Kenny's for a few nights until it had sunk in and then we could talk properly.

 **Stan PoV**

"Stan Marsh to room four please." A voice booms out and I freeze in my seat. I was willing this uncomfortable silence between me and Douglas would last forever. Anything to prevent me from opening up to a complete stranger, about something so petty.

"That's you." Douglas prompts.

"Yes I am aware of my name." I snap, before giving him an apologetic glance. "Sorry..."

"Good luck." He squeezes my arm as I stand up. "You'll be fine, I promise."

 **Wendy PoV**

I had regretted re-starting eavesdropper when I woke up this morning. Especially with all the commotion at school. I had only intended to start a rumour about Stan so he would split with Douglas out of embarrassment, or come clean to the school about how it was all a pack of lies, or maybe even take me back to prove this. But it had escalated, a lot. Secrets had been spilled from other anonymous users and we were back into the war again. The war I had been so adamant to stop last time. The war that even drove people to suicide. It took an hour for the post about Heidi's vajazzle to go up, and soon to follow that was Kenny's drinking. Naturally, I had no clue who posted them, that secret lied with the exposer them self, just as mine did.

I am snapped back to reality by the sudden beep from the computer. Another comment on my post, from another anonymous account. But this one catches my eye.

 _'You want proof? Here; pic.1829'_

I press the link to the picture and a photograph of Stan and Douglas appears on my screen. In bed together. I had been right...

 **Kenny PoV**

There's a sharp knock on the door and I drain the glass of water I was clasping before making my way over.

I was surprised not to see the police, and instead to see Bebe, stood with a small hold-all in the doorway.

"Moms chucked me out." She informs me. "You sober?"

"As I'll ever be..." I trail off, we both knew I was never sober nowadays. Drinking was an escape, it was an addiction and now I had started I couldn't stop. "She knows?"

"I wanted an abortion." She blurts out suddenly and my eyes widen.

"What?" I splutter. "Well... It's too late now."

"I know." She nods, avoiding my gaze. "But I'm not having anything to do with it. I'll give birth, and leave it on a doorstep somewhere. No one will ever need to know, I can go back to how I used to be."

"But... No... Bebe, you can't do that! Don't be stupid!" I exclaim.

"I can do whatever the hell I like!" She argues. "It's my body, my baby-"

"And mine!" I retort and the room falls silent.

"...I need to stay here for a bit." She mumbles, putting her bag down gently. "Just until my mom calms down. We can talk... Sorry, we can talk."

"Ok." I nod, my eyes intent on her stomach, our baby, before reaching out carefully and placing a hand on it. "Ok... Whatever you need, I'm here."

 **Stan PoV**

"Like I said it's all just... Average teenage stuff." I mutter, shifting in my seat uncomfortably, the harsh gaze the GP was giving me wasn't helping with my nerves. But I had waffled on for a good... Forty minutes, I glance at the clock. Wow, people actually got paid to listen to low lives like me moaning on about their shitty problems that didn't even matter?

"From what I've gathered, I think you may be suffering from depression." He says, bluntly. What, that was it? That was the sentence I had sat here waiting for?

"And... What am I supposed to do with that exactly?" I mutter, not lifting my head from the floor, partly out of boredom, partly out of embarrassment.

"I'm going to refer you to a mental health specialist." He pulls out a note pad, scribbling something down. "You can talk to them about how you are feeling and they will offer you a more accurate analysis."

"What rather than 'you have depression'?" I frown at him. "How much more accurate can you get."

"Depression is just a classified term." He explains. "There lots of different mental health disorders that stem from it, and the strength of it can also be analysed by this assessment."

"...So I've sat here for three quarters of an hour talking about my life and yet I just have to go and repeat it to someone else?" I ask him, rudely and he faces me with a blank expression.

"It's a long process Stanley." He sighs.

"Stan." I correct him.

" _Stan_." He repeats, easing over the word. "But we fully intend to get you the help you need. In the meantime, take it easy."

"Wow thanks." I snatch the piece of paper out of his hand. "Top class advice that. I bet that was the hardest part of your degree wasn't it? Thanks for the help."

I stand up abruptly, pushing back my chair and leaving in a swift motion. What a waste of time this was.

 **Kyle PoV**

I hated myself for what I had done. Why did I have to stoop so low? Why couldn't I handle my jealousy?

The words written on my locker were appearing before my eyes. They had been erased now, erased from public sight. But they were still there; every time I looked at it, every time I turned, every face I looked into. They all knew. They all knew I was... Gay.

Smart, Jewish, gay. All made for an interesting combination. This was never how I wanted it to work out. I had tried to prevent it, so many times. I had tried to push my feelings for Stan out of my head, for all these years. Kid myself we were just close friends. But we weren't, we never would be. For that, I hated myself, I hated who I had become, I hated who I was.

I wince as the blade crosses my skin, a searing pain shooting across my chest. I dare myself to look down, beads of blood rising to the surface, rolling into the crevices of the broken flesh.

But it was satisfying, because I was punishing myself. I was punishing who I had been forced to become.

* * *

 _ **Please leave a review if anyone is still reading this!x**_


	39. The Note

**Kyle PoV**

I had found nothing what-so-ever to further support my studies. I pace around Stan's bedroom, desperate for something, anything. As much as it would kill me to see an empty condom packet or maybe a suitcase of Douglas', it would help my investigation greatly.

I am about to give up and head back out of the window. I had seen Stan leave a while ago with his little 'buddy'. They had returned from somewhere with an envelope, dumped it and gone back out again. My skin was sore from the cuts I had engraved into it just hours before now. Why had I done it?

My thoughts are interrupted by the sound of Randy's voice, approaching the bedroom. Shit. Knowing I didn't have enough time to climb out if the window, I head for the closet, practically diving into it, my body retaining an awkward position as I slam the door shut."Anything you can tell me Mr Marsh." I hear Cartman whine. What the hell was he doing here? "Douglas is a very close friend of mine and I just need to know what's going on. I need to make sure he's alright." Bullshitter. At least do it subtly if you wanted to bring them down.

"All I know is probably the same as you know, you said you were close." I hear Randy, opening and closing the drawers and peer through the slats to see him loading a pile of Stan's ironing into it. "I'm assuming you know about... About the orphanage?"

"...Well yes of course." Cartman lies, clearly as surprised as me at what I had just heard. "But... Well... He's very quiet, he doesn't often open up about these things. I'm worried I might put my foot in it one of these days." "Oh don't worry I've been there." He sighs. "When Douglas first arrived here, I was talking to him about Blockbuster, unaware his mother owned it before me... Anyway, as you'll know his mom committed suicide... I sort of well... I didn't realise before I started slagging it off I suppose.""Yes... Yes it was an... An awful occurrence that, yes." Cartman babbles as I sit frozen in the wardrobe, the voices fading as they leave the room, obviously moving on to the next one.

Douglas was orphaned?

 **Stan POV**

I sigh as I close the door behind me. I was exhausted and just wanted to crash right now. One of the doctors I had seen suggested I should try and get back into doing things I used to love, and seeing how Wendy wasn't an option, football was the only other one.

Clyde was over the moon mind you, I informed the coach I didn't feel up to being team captain anymore so he allowed me to step down and guess who got promoted?

On a positive note, which weren't frequent at the moment, if I'm a reserve at the next game at least I could keep Pete company.

I just hoped Douglas was in tonight, he didn't come home with me yesterday so I assumed he went to the orphanage or at least I hope so, as he didn't show up today at school.

"Stanley is that you?" I hear mom call out to me and before I can even answer she comes running out of the kitchen, looking worried.

"What's wrong?" I ask, confused as she hands me a piece of paper. I quickly glance over it and my mouth drops at what I read.

 **Kenny PoV**

"Oh my God." Bebe murmurs from where she was sat on the sofa, a cup of orange juice balanced precariously on her bump.

"What?" I ask, taking a gulp from my can of beer.

"Stan and Douglas have been diagnosed with numerous STD's." She informs me, her eyes wide.

"Huh? How do you know that?" I ask, getting up off my stool.

"Eavesdropper." She points to the screen. "They were sighted in the doctors about a week ago, apparently going to get tests done."

"Well, you don't know that's true." I shrug. "Could be anything, I mean-"

"One of them is HIV." She cuts me off, not listening to my side of the argument.

"It'll just be rumours Bey..." I attempt to reason with her.

"Nah, it all makes sense." Her eyes widen. "They've been sleeping together and now they have STD's. I always knew that Douglas kid was dirty."

"Don't say that." I roll my eyes, draining my can and throwing it on the stained carpet that partially coated the floor.

"Tut tut..." She blanks me. "Should have used a condom."

"...Bit hypocritical..." I hesitate, glad she wasn't actually listening to me. She had moved onto one of the comments below the apparent 'article'.

"He's orphaned?" She breaks the silence and I frown.

"What?" I raise my voice slightly. "No!"

"A source reports that he has spoken to Randy Marsh; Stan's father, who has explained how the boy's mother committed suicide back when he was in elementary school." She reads. "Due to the stress of losing her husband, the business going down the drain and having a little shit for a son, the so far un-named mother shot herself to end her own life."

"That's a pile of crap Bebe and whoever made that up is sick." I tell her, horrified at what I had seen. Maybe I should have been nicer to that kid after all.

"No... No, it all makes sense." She shakes her head. "Why he's so secretive, why he's been staying at Stan's... Whoever provided this evidence is really out to get this kid."

 **Wendy PoV**

"You haven't brought a parent with you?" The doctor consults me.

"Well... They don't know." I inform her. "Only a few of my friends do."

"And they didn't offer to come with you today?" She continues.

"They uh..." I mutter. "They have bigger priorities right now."

"Bigger priorities than... Their friends cancer treatment?" She raises her eyebrows and I manage a small shrug. "Anyway, you'll have four rounds of chemotherapy. I won't lie to you, it's not a pleasant experience... In fact it would be best for your parents to be informed of your illness, because you won't be able to attend school for a few days after each session. Sickness, fatigue and dizziness are all pretty much guaranteed, however the first session is often the worst."

"Will I lose my hair?" I blurt out, it was one of my main worries, as petty as it may sound.

"Often, hair loss will occur, yes." She says, steadily and I feel my heart sink. "Not always, and the extremity of it can vary, but I would say it's a likely outcome."

"Well then... What do I tell my parents?" I bite my lip, knowing deep down that they would have to know. "If I lose my hair they'll know something is up."

"Like I said, we can't force you to tell them..." She trails off. "But you could use the support Wendy, plus, you and I both know it's a virtually impossible thing to hide."

"...Alright." I whisper, nodding my head vaguely. "But get this round out the way tomorrow, then I'll tell them."

 **Stan PoV**

 _'Thank you for being there Stan, you've been a true friend. But I can't carry on like this, not after what's been spread online. I've lived my life in secret, never wanting to be the centre of attention. This is better off for all of us; you can go back to your old life, the life you truly loved, where you were happy. I can be at peace at last. Take care of Emily for me, please. Douglas.'_

I've read the note so many times that the words revolve around in my head. Every sentence, every word pierced me. I was praying to God it wasn't what it seemed, although I knew, deep down, that it was.

"Emily? Come here, quick." I practically yell down the phone, my voice shaking uncontrollably. "It's Douglas, I don't know... I don't know but..."

"Stan, calm down." I hear her say, mom's pacing not helping matters. "Douglas has what?"

"I've had a note, from him." I gulp, glancing at mom as she bites her nails, staring helplessly at the floor. "It doesn't look good."

"...I'm on my way." She promises, hanging up. I jump up from my seat, grabbing my phone from where I had just put it down and heading out of the door.

"Stan where are you going?" Mom calls to me.

"To look for Douglas, what do you think?" I shout, attempting to make my way to the door before dad steps into my path.

"What's going on?" He frowns, whilst scoffing a chicken wing.

"Someone has posted stuff about Douglas online and now he's left a suicide note." I explain, the word paining me to release.

"...What kind of stuff?" He glances down at the floor, hesitating before giving a response.

"Stuff about his mom, the orphanage..." I trail off, knowing the look he was giving me. "Why?"

"...Cartman... May have visited earlier..." He stammers. "Wanting to know about... What's going on..."

"WHY WOULD YOU TELL HIM ANYTHING?" I yell, slamming my fist down on the nearby kitchen table.

"Well he said they were close friends!" He demands.

"AND YOU BELIEVED HIM?" My eyes widen, shoving past him without another thought.

"Stan?" Emily sees me, half way up the garden path. "Stan... What's going on?"

"I just want to make sure he's safe." I tell her, as she spins on her heel, running after me. "He will be, won't he?"

"Yes." She nods, although I could hear the unsure tone to her voice. "Hopefully..."

"Is everything alright?" I'm almost halted by Wendy, who was heading towards us, a bunch of pamphlets in her hand. When my eyes fall upon them, she stuffs them in her pocket.

"Fine." I mutter, any other time I would jump at the chance to talk to Wendy. But now wasn't any other time.

"Emily?" Wendy persists as I barge past her.

"Have you seen Eavesdropper?" She asks her, to which Wendy shakes her head slowly. "Yeah well someone's posted shit about Douglas online."

"Cartman." I inform her, leaving a brief pause. "So now he's threatened to commit suicide."

"I'll help you find him." She offers, seeing the surprise in my face. "I'm not that much of a bitch Stan, believe it or not."

"Whatever, save the domestic for later on." Emily interrupts us, hurrying off in the direction of Stark's pond.

* * *

 _ **Please leave a review!**_


	40. But I Did

**Wendy PoV**

I could feel the guilt writhing in my stomach, yet again, Eavesdropper had driven someone to the extremity of suicide. This time however, it was all my fault.

"We need to check the orphanage before we jump to conclusions." Emily reminds me, not bothering to fill Wendy in on the gossip she had not yet encountered.

"I can't carry on like this." I read from the note which was clenched in my fist. "I can be at peace at last? What else is that supposed to mean?"

"Maybe he... Went to KFC for dinner instead of McDonalds..." Wendy shrugs and Emily glares at her.

"Not now." I brush her off, although I knew she was just trying to lighten the situation.

"Maybe we should split up?" Emily suggests, checking her phone. "Francis is on his way."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" I ask her.

"Look we need to not panic." She stops me and my eyes widen. "Things like this have happened before."

"What do you mean?" I frown. "What? That he doesn't mean it?"

"Oh he means it." Emily shakes her head. "But it's not a cry for attention or whatever. He just... Gets to these points sometimes. He was brought up by a suicidal family and then abandoned... You can't blame him, he doesn't understand any other way out of it."

"But... He was the one who convinced me to go to the doctor about my... Depression." I linger on the word, still in denial about the whole situation. But it was then that I realised Wendy's gaze on mine. Shit, score Stan. "Anyway, yeah... Why don't you two go look near Stark's and I'll meet Francis and head to the orphanage?"

"Uh..." I see Emily exchange an awkward glance with Wendy. They weren't exactly the best of friends. "Yeah, sure."

"...Well..." I mutter, hesitating before wrapping Emily in a hug. "Good luck."

 **Kyle PoV**

"Have you seen Eavesdropper?" I hear a freshman girl ask, thinking she was talking to me before I snap out of my daze. I see her run over to her friend, smart phone in hand, both eyes widening in shock. What had I done?

"Oi, faggot." The harshness of Clyde's voice sounds as he approaches me.

"Don't call me that." I shrug him off, not really giving a damn anymore.

"You seen Eavesdropper?" He holds out his phone.

"You know what, I don't think I have..." I roll my eyes sarcastically.

"Douglas the tramp's dad is a gay porn star!" Clyde deepens his voice, pretending to be a reporter as he rolls out one of the latest headlines. "Abandoned by his family back when he was in kindergarten! Did tramp's mother kill herself over ex-hubbies porn star career?"

"What?" I glare at him. "Why has a stupid... Rumour, escalated so fast?"

"Douglas is so lame that no one wanted to adopt him!" Token reads from his own phone.

"Douglas was such a waste of space, his own mother killed herself with gun in mouth!" Bridon recites, I was surprised he could even read the headline. "Click here to see an exclusive interview. Ooh..."

"Is Wendy a banging both Craig and Kenny? Find out at 8pm tonight..." Craig suddenly frowns at the article he was reading. "Wait what?"

"...You seriously believe this bullshit?" I slam my locker door, preparing to walk away.

"And you don't?" Clyde calls after me. "Why else would that tramp have left a suicide note?"

I freeze, as if my feet were wedged in mud. What did he just say?

"...What?" I turn, my voice hoarse, as I see Clyde's sickly expression.

"Aw..." Clyde pulls a face. "Sorry... Were you hoping to get a piece of him after Stan did? Looks like you're out of luck now... Hey, Craig's up for grabs if you're that desperate... Why is this school turning into some sort of Gay Pride movement-"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP." I yell, forcing the corridor to fall silent, even Clyde looks taken aback at my sudden outburst. I feel the eyes of students burning into the back of my head. "Fine. I'm gay. I'M GAY. YOU ALL GOT THAT?" My chest is rising and falling heavily, my fists were sweating, my veins were palpitating. "...So go put that on Eavesdropper... Because I fucking deserve it."

I stare at the shocked expressions for a second, before kicking a nearby can at a locker in a rage and storming off down the corridor.

 **Cartman PoV**

 _'NEW PHOTO! Looks like love might be in the air for Tweek as he's spotted walking home alongside Butters!'_

"Ahaha!" I snort, as I read the latest headlines. "Sweet."

 _Photo surfaces from Jessie and Kal's weekend slumber party! Looks like the two are more then best friends according to this photo of the pair sharing a immediate kiss!_

"Weak." I mutter. "This is why I don't get the girls, because everyone in the God damn school is bent."

 _EXTRA! EXTRA! An audio clip proving Red is a lying bitch and Stan didn't bang her just popped up on Youtube! For those of you who still care about this crap, be sure to click this link!_

"Ha!" I exclaim, clicking the link stupidly, as it forwards me to a _Porn Hub_ video. "Share with friends? No thank you." I click off it, going back to the Eavesdropper feed.

 _School files hacked to find out the most up to date penis sizes and said 'culpit' then posted them online just to piss off a certain morning announcer!  
Check out who has the biggest you know what here! __confidential/seniors/penis-sizes-list_ _  
Check out who's number 3! I'm sure that's not a factor in Lola's decision to start dating Stoley!_

"Oh for fucks sake." I groan, slamming my fist down on my desk. "Again? Why again?"

"What's up hun?" I hear mom's voice from the corridor.

"Mom!" I yell and she enters my room as I spot another article. "Apparently Cartman's mom is on the cover of the latest issue of Crack Whore magazine!" I read. "Really says something about Cartman's choice for a first time doesn't it as she and his mom have similar professions..."

"You wanted that new video game." She shrugs, leaving the room. I stand up, heading over to the racket outside my window to see a group of middle school students with copies of the magazine, cameras and notepads.

"Mom your fans are outside." I snap, heading down the stairs to chase them off. "Get lost." I pull the door open and they all stare at me with surprised expressions.

"We wanna see Liane." One of them grunts.

"Tough shit, now beat it." I tell them, menacingly.

"What are you? Her body guard?" Another voices.

"If you like, and I'd beat you to a pulp in seconds." I explain. "So like I said-"

"ERIC CARTMAN!" My head is turned by Stan's angry voice, as he races towards me, parting the crowd. "I'M GOING TO FUCKING MURDER YOU."

"Ey?" I frown, before he shoves me up against my own house, his arm locked over my throat.

"Why? Why would you do it?" He hisses, his eyes virtually popping out of their sockets. "What has he ever done to you?"

"Who?" I splutter, as the grip tightens around my neck.

"Douglas." He spits. "You asked my dad about him earlier, then went and posted it online."

"Ok only one of those statements is true." I plead with him. "I swear to you Stan. I asked your dad, I did, I confess to that. But I didn't post it online... Someone else got there first."

"Stan get off him." Francis begs as fatigue washes over me, my head was spinning, my sight was blurred. I could hardly breathe, it hurt to breathe. I close my eyes briefly, willing Stan to release me, before opening them and realising he already had. But there was a pressure on my chest as I stare at him, blankly, his blurred outline. I wheeze, trying to find something to grip onto to remain upright.

"Cartman?" Stan sounds panicked. "Cartman, are you alright?"

"Call an ambulance." I hear Francis say, as I begin slipping down the wall, my eyes submerging into a pit of darkness as I struggle to remain conscious.

 **Wendy PoV**

"Emily..." I have the courage to say her name, as we race around the streets. "What Stan said..."

"I'll talk to you about it after." She tells me, forcing a sympathetic smile as my eyes land on a figure in the distance. "...What?" She follows my gaze to where I was staring at the bridge.

"Douglas? Shit!" She screams, as he turns his head in our direction. I whip my phone out and dial 911, although I know it's probably not what anyone wanted, I needed to do the right thing for once.

"911 what's your emergency?" I hear the voice pick up.

"Police please." I panic as I try to steady my gaze on where Emily was climbing onto the bridge. I run after her, my feet precariously sliding on the shining metal.

"South Park police department, how can I help you?" Another voice asks on the other end of the line, I'm about to reply before I slip again, my ankle twisting as I slip towards the edge, my phone flying out of my hand and falling into the water below. I'm pulled back by Emily's hand, tightening around my own.

"Douglas, don't." I beg him, panting as I let go of Emily's hand. "Ignore what anyone is saying online, please." He looks shocked to see me standing, begging him to rethink his decision. I had never spoken to him in my life, but everything happening recently was making me see that there were more important things in life than popularity. "Think about everything you can achieve? Hey? You can get married, have children, let them live the life you never had. You could do so much..."

"I'm not you." He yells, over the sound of the crashing water. "I don't get up every morning, knowing that I have a future."

"Yeah well neither do I." I tell him. "I could have months, weeks... I have my first chemo session tomorrow... So you see; we're not all perfect. And I can assure you that if you jump now, you have no chance of waking up tomorrow morning knowing you have a future."

There's a silence, I can feel Emily stood solidly by my side, hope emanating from her. Douglas takes one look down at the water, hesitantly edging towards us.

"You stupid idiot!" Emily screams, wrapping him in a tight hug. "Never do that to me again, alright?"

"I'm sorry." He sighs, as they embrace and it's my turn to be surprised. I cough awkwardly, before Emily turns round, her eyes glistening with tears.

"Thank you, Wendy." She smiles. "Seriously, thank you so much."

"...What you said?" Douglas stammers, still in a daze. "Did you... Do you actually..."

"...Yeah." I admit, quietly. "But please don't tell anyone."

"I promise." Emily nods, squeezing my hand gently.

 **Stan PoV**

"So you don't have any clue why it might have happened?" Liane quizzes me and Francis as we sit, rigid in the waiting room of Hell's Pass. I was desperate to try and find Douglas, but since this was seemingly something to do with me, I couldn't just walk away and leave a blubbering Liane here alone.

"We uh..." I stammer. "We were having a bit of a uh... Heated-"

"Mrs Cartman?" A doctor approaches us and she stands up abruptly. "I have run a few tests on Cartman... It seems, he collapsed due to a severe case of malnutrition."

"Yeah because he eats nothing but burgers and candy." I cover up, relieved it might not actually have something to do with me.

"Not according to the bloods I've taken." He turns to me. "In fact Eric's blood sugar levels are dangerously low. Not only that but it appears to look as if he hasn't been eating at all, or at least very little."

"What?" I splutter. "Are you sure you got the right kid?"

"We've compared his records to the previous ones we gathered and he's lost a dangerously large amount of weight." He explains. "Although he may not be severely under weight, from what his body capacity used to be, it's a drastic amount to lose in just a few months."

"...So what are you saying?" Liane frowns, clearly oblivious to everything going on.

"I'm saying, that your son appears to be starving himself..." He informs her. "It seems to be a case of anorexia."

"What?" She gasps. "No... No, not my son... That's only girls... It's only girls who get that..."

"I'm afraid not." He shakes his head. "Although it is more common in teenage females, it can often be a disorder that occurs in boys as well."

"Stan?" I almost jump out of my seat when I see Douglas, wrapped in a blanket and holding Emily's hand.

"Oh my God." I run at him, practically jumping on him. I didn't care about my masculinity, it was as if a wave of relief had lifted me off the sea floor. "You're OK? Yeah? Everything's alright."

"Wendy talked me down." He tells me, and I throw a confused glance at the shivering body who was stood a few paces behind him. "I'm so sorry, for everything. I just... It was a moment of weakness."

"Don't apologise." I shake my head.

"We've gotta go and get him checked out." Emily tells me and I nod briefly before they head towards the counter.

"...You alright?" I step closer to Wendy and she meets my gaze, managing a small smile.

"Yeah I uh... I just did what anyone would do." She tells me.

"Not by the sounds of it." I reply and she shuffles her feet slightly, still shivering. Without thinking I take my jacket off, wrapping it around her shoulders and closing the gap between us. After an awkward moment of closeness, I back away, coughing slightly. "Thank you. Seriously, thank you." I squeeze her shoulder slightly before leaving her and walking over to Francis to fill him in.

"You're welcome." I hear her whisper. I don't think I was supposed to hear it, but I did.

* * *

 _ **Please review, would mean a lot x**_


	41. Temptation

_**There was a mistake in that last chapter, as a lot of you probably picked up, I was informed by RatherOddRanger that it should have been Stan's PoV at the end and not Wendy's, so sorry about that!**_

* * *

 **Kenny PoV**

"Oi." I'm stabbed in the back by a sharp finger and turn to see Red, staring at me intently. "Where's Bebe?"

"I don't know." I lie, knowing that she was actually still at my house and refusing to come to school because of the pregnancy.

"Yeah you do." She responds, rudely. "She hasn't been in school for days."

"I'm her boyfriend not her life tutor." I shrug her off, taking a sip of the vodka from my apparent 'water bottle'. It was great, no one ever had to know, as long as I didn't release the fumes in front of anyone.

"What's happened to Cartman?" She continues, when I try to turn around.

"Ey?" I frown.

"He's in hospital apparently." She informs me. "There's rumours on Eavesdropper saying Stan had something to do with it."

"So... Ask Stan?" I suggest, rolling my eyes at her.

"Can I have a sip of water?" She persists and I freeze slightly. "I'm being serious Kenny, I've forgotten mine and my throat is really dry."

"No." I reply, bluntly. "...I have the flu, wouldn't want you to catch it."

"No you don't!" She retorts. "Please, I might not be able to speak soon."

"Which would be a blessing to us all." I spin around, placing my head back into my hands.

"Is this shit true about Cartman being in hospital?" Clyde asks the whole of homeroom as he enters, Bridon at his side.

"The morning announcements will be brought to you today, by Casey Miller." Principal Victoria's voice booms out over the room, conveniently answering everyone's questions.

"What are you two sniggering at? Homos." He adds on the end, rudely pointing at Jessie and Kal across the room.

"Nothing to do with you Windmill." Kal pipes up, glaring at him. "It was to do with Bridon."

"Hey, Bridon you pulled a bunch of lesbians." Clyde elbows him sharply. "Nice."

"Ah that'll be about the video." Lola groans, from where she was draped over Kevin.

"What video?" Bridon frowns, as someone presents him with a phone. "'New Youtube footage! Proof Bridon is a lousy boyfriend; watch this clip of him playing basketball and ignoring Lola as she shouts 'I'm breaking up with you'." He reads. "Even states she's off to ask Kevin out on a date in said clip as Bridon simply replies 'yeah, Maze Runner sounds amazing, I'll take you next week...' Yes! I've made it Clyde, look there's a news video and everything."

"It's YouTube Bridon." Jenny huffs. "You haven't just hit number one in the charts."

"Yeah and besides, no one cares about that." Lexus chips in. "What I'm interested in is the absence of Cartman and Bebe... Or whether that tramp committed suicide in the end."

"Missing your boyfriend?" Millie teases.

"Why aren't any of the losers in school today?" Annie asks. "All of _that_ group aren't around you know; Douglas, Francis, Emily-"

"Stop calling them that." Heads are turned as Wendy stands up by her desk.

"Sorry..." Red frowns, clearly finding the outburst hilarious. "What did you say?"

"I said." She announces. "Stop calling them that; losers and tramps. They're people, just like you. Why does there have to be some sort of hierarchy all the time?"

"Wow..." Red giggles, everyone shocked at Wendy's sudden defence. "Calm your tits babe."

"DON'T YOU DARE!" She suddenly screams running at Red. Shit, bad choice of words there.

"Wendy, Wendy stop it." I jump up, pulling her off Red's surprised frame, who was grabbing chunks of her hair to fight her off. "It's not worth it, don't."

"No one gets it Kenny!" She yells, giving up as my arms fold securely around her. "No one understands."

"I know." I whisper as she buries her head in my chest. I peer around the room, eyes glued to our entwined bodies. Red was staring at us with rage in her eyes, trying to play the martyr. This wasn't good for our reputation, then again, nothing was these days. It was like _The Hunger Games_ but for gossip. With Eavesdropper so popular at the moment, Douglas was a clear example of how no one was safe.

I made that sound so deep, I guess it was the drink talking. Really, I didn't give a shit at all.

 **Cartman PoV**

"Hey! Can I get some service in here?" I jab the button on my remote repeatedly, hearing it bleep persistently in the distance.

"Oi kid, it's not a fucking hotel." A woman opposite me snaps, pulling her earphones out. "I can hear you over the sound of these."

"Yeah well it should be." I moan. "I didn't ask to be stuck in this dump. Where's my mom anyway? She told me she was bringing my X Box."

"And where exactly are you planning on plugging that in?" She quizzes me, and I throw her a sulky expression. "What you doing in here anyway?"

"Oh I uh... I'm a spy you see, I saw three minorities and had to take them down in one." I lie, it made things more interesting. "Two bullets remaining, straight through the head, the chest, then had to take on the final one with my own toned physique. Obviously I gutted him, but, no hero emerges from a battle without a few bruises, hey? What about you?"

"...Drug overdose." She states, bluntly, clearly not fazed in the slightest by my story. "Why aren't you in a children's ward?"

"Because I was too cool, they thought I might intimidate them." I lie again, and she nods, disinterestedly, putting her earphones back in. Stuck with nothing to do again, I proceed to beat the attention button up repeatedly.

"What is it, Eric?" A nurse comes up to me, folding her arms in annoyance.

"Yeah hi, I don't want this." I point to the plate of what was supposedly macaroni and cheese... Or shepherds pie, in disgust.

"Just eat a few spoonfuls for me?" She sweetens her tone.

"I'm not five!" I object, pushing it away stubbornly. "And why would I eat it for _you_ anyway? You look like a horse with gum disease... Any chance of plugging my X Box in when my mom gets here?"

"Eric you have a visitor." Another nurse walks up to me.

"Ladies please, alright." I hold my hands up. "No need to crowd me."

"Cartman?" Stan peers round and I have to refrain from looking surprised. What was he doing here? He was threatening to beat me up yesterday. "Can we talk?"

"I'll leave you to it." One of the nurse's says, pulling the other one off with her.

"Ehem..." Stan coughs awkwardly, pulling up a chair after draping the curtain round my bed. Oh great, so now Douglas had croaked it he was trying it on with me instead. "So... How are you feeling?

"...If you've come to turn my life support off I'm afraid you're too late." I blink at him, which he doesn't respond to. "...However if you've come to bore me to death, which we all know you're good at, a hospital probably isn't the right place to go either..."

"I know about the eating disorder." He blurts out, causing me to fall silent this time.

"...So why aren't you in school?" I attempt to divert the topic, but he doesn't move an inch.

"I'm being serious Cartman." He lowers his tone. "This isn't you, why are you starving yourself?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." I deny, causing him to huff, leaning back in his chair slightly.

"I was there, when the doctor diagnosed you." He tells me, which causes me to think. Now I actually didn't know what he was talking about.

"What?" I question and a look of recognition flashes over his face.

"With anorexia." He says, bluntly and the words hit me hard. In that second, with one word, reality had hit me. I had a feeling that was why I had collapsed but I hadn't let it faze me, just like I hadn't for the last six months. "...Why?"

"Why do you think?" I snap at him, forcing back tears. I would not cry in front of anyone, especially Stan Marsh. My throat aches, my teeth grind against one another as I try to prevent any emotion getting through. The strain, the pressure, the denial. "...I've spent my life being called 'fat'." I whisper, the words wavering as they slip off my tongue. "And yes, hypocritical I know... Because every day I have to label people; Jew, black, gay, poor... But you know why that is, Stan? It's because I'm so fucking insecure about myself that insulting other people makes me feel better. That's why I do it. That's why I'm such a sadistic, twisted, bitter, jealous... Cunt."

There's an awkward silence. I immediately regret letting the words flow, his expression was softening and I hated that, more than anything.

"I mean... I am anyway... But that just adds to it..." I try to cover over what I had just exposed, although this was also partly true. I wasn't gonna lie about the fact that I did relish in making other people's lives a misery, winding them up. I look up at Stan, who's staring at me intently, his hands clasped in his lap.

"...I really, really don't like you." He says, bluntly. Well that cheered me up... "But it doesn't mean I can sit back and watch you... Destroy yourself."

"I'll be fine." I tilt my head towards the ceiling, studying the cracks in it, wishing I wasn't here. "I don't want your sympathy."

"It's not sympathy." He shakes his head. "It's called being human."

"...Sorry, but when did you get morals?" I roll my eyes. "You slept with beetroot head like a day after splitting up with Cinderella."

"I didn't sleep with her." He tries to defend himself, realising this wasn't the topic at hand.

"So come on... Why are you so... Depressed or whatever?" I hiss and he looks at me, shocked. "Don't think no one has noticed, you look like you got to KFC one minute after closing time, every single minute of every single day... Is it because Cinders swept you under the rug?"

"See you're doing it again!" He retorts, adamant to avoid the question.

"What?" I snap.

"The name calling the... The constant jibes." He raises his voice slightly and I daren't look at him.

"Stan just go." I sigh, not having the strength to have yet another argument with him. "Please."

"...Ok..." He nods slowly, standing up and beginning to leave before turning around. "Cartman?"

"What?" I mutter.

"You remember when we were kids?" He reconciles, which was the last thing I wanted to discuss right now. "You pissed Kyle, Ken and me off to the max. We loathed you... But you were still our best friend. It wouldn't have been the same without you."

"Cute." I mumble. "Now go."

"Did you post those rumours on Eavesdropper?" He persists. "About Douglas, I mean?"

"No." I respond, certainty in my voice, and that confirmed it for him. "...Like I said, I was going to. But I didn't, someone else got there first. I don't know who, but... I just want to sleep."

"Alright." He whispers. "Take care of yourself."

 _Take care of yourself._

Like that would ever happen. I force myself not to cry, and it hurts, it hurts like my empty body. But it has to, it has to for me to live.

 **Kyle PoV**

"Douglas?" I cry out, before even realising I was doing so. I spot him heading through the snow, hands wedged in his pockets. He looks around, surprised by the sound of his name. "You're ok?"

"Seems that way..." He mutters, attempting to walk off.

"No, no wait." I stop him, approaching him from behind. "I just... I'm so relieved."

"...Why?" He frowns.

"Because to think you might..." I trail off. "Why? Why did you..."

"Eavesdropper." The word hits me and he walks off. I don't bother trying to catch up with him this time. There was nothing I could say. I hated what I had turned into, I hated being gay, I hated being jealous.

I also hated, despite the fact it was extremely hypocritical, that Eavesdropper was coated in headlines sparking from yesterday's outburst. Although people already had their suspicions after the locker incident and, let's face it, lusting after my ex best friend, I had finally confirmed it for them.

I trudge up Bebe's garden path, knocking fiercely on the door. I needed to talk to someone, else I would just end up cutting myself again and I didn't want to resort to an act as weak and pathetic as that, even if I was a 'faggot'.

"Bebe in?" I ask her mom as she comes to the door.

"No." She replies, shortly, shutting the door in my face before I can persist further. I peer around the street, a bit confused as to what had just happened. My eyes focus on Tweek's coffee shop, at least he might be someone who understood...

Heading over, I push the door open, hearing the welcoming tinkle of the shop bell.

"What can I get you?" Mr Tweak asks as I approach the counter. "We've got a new deal on today; buy a large coffee of your choice and get a cake for half price."

"Uh... I'm here to see Tweek." I reply, and he looks a little disappointed at this. "Is he in?"

"Yeah should be." He shrugs, opening the barrier for me. "Come through."

I find my way up the stairs, recalling it from when we used to be close, as Tweek was our replacement for Kenny. Knocking softly on the door, he turns around in his chair, abruptly.

"Kyle?" He cracks a slight laugh, twitching at my appearance. "What are you doing here?"

"...I don't know really." I confess, feeling immediately stupid. Why was I here?

"Three guesses and two don't count..." He narrows his eyes. "I'm the first gay who came to mind, now that you're out the closet... Apparently."

"Apparently." I repeat, standing awkwardly in the doorway. "I just... Don't really know what to do..."

"Live your life." He shrugs, and the words make me smile. "Now that you know what your life is."

"Yeah..." I nod, making the decision to sit down on his bed and he stares at me intently, trying to figure me out. "My parents don't know yet... That might be an issue."

"How come?" He asks.

"Well... I don't really think it was in their plans..." I mutter. "The good little Jew boy, growing up like... This."

"They will get used to it over time." He assures me. "Mine were shocked, confused, questioning. But you get past that eventually."

"Ok and now problem B." I virtually cut him off, my palms shaking as I urge myself to say the word I had been bottling up for so long. "...Stan."

I don't look at him, I don't dare. I keep my gaze fixated on the carpet, begging him not to question me further, praying he would guess, or maybe already have an inkling.

I was right.

"He loves Wendy, Kyle..." He says it so quietly, so genuinely and it hurts me. It really, really hurts. My eyes brim with tears and I fight them back, I clench my fist, release it, clench it again. _He loves Wendy_. I knew that. I already knew that, I had for years. So why had my heart just literally broken? Why did I feel so beaten down, so hopeless, so consumed in sudden sorrow? It wasn't even that, it was pure lust, it was pure love, it was the thing I wanted more than anything in the world, that I couldn't have.

"It hurts..." I whimper, begging myself not to crumble, but I was and I couldn't help myself. I wanted to slice my skin apart, I wanted to feel the searing pain shoot through my flesh, I wanted to see the beads of blood, the anger, the hatred. I didn't want to sit here, hating Tweek for the words he just said, when I knew how true they were. I wanted someone to say to me _'he loves you Kyle',_ scrap that, I wanted him to say _'I love you'_ to me. I wanted to hear the words come out of his mouth, the softness of his touch, that look in his eyes that is always present when he's being deadly serious. Even if he was lying, even if he didn't want it at all, even if it made him extremely unhappy. I was selfish enough not to care, because that's how badly it hurt. That's how badly it would hurt forever.

"I know." He whispers, taking a seat next to me on the bed and reluctantly holding out his arms to cradle me in. I can't prevent myself from crying, I needed to, but I also needed to hit my head against a wall, repeatedly, maybe knock myself out, knock the last few months out of my head and go back to being the popular kid I used to be. When I had friends, and I was oblivious and I could go out to house parties, get wasted, get off with people and wake up the next morning feeling like shit. But that was nothing in comparison to how I felt now. I wished, more than anything that I could know what that felt like again. For my priorities to be who I kissed the night before, how many shots too many I drank, hating myself for spilling red cider all over my new jeans.

But that was then and this is now.

This is now and I can feel Tweek's hands on mine.

I can feel the intimacy, the craving, the desperation.

I part with him, forcing myself not to, but his eyes were fixed on mine and I was hurting. I was in so much pain that I needed some form of life support, and that, right now, was sat right in front of me. That, right now was waiting for me to lean in.

And I do.

And I did.

Until Craig walks in.

* * *

 _ **Please leave a review if you have time!**_


	42. Forever

**Kyle PoV**

"What the fuck?" Craig's mouth drops, eyeing us up, his gaze switching from me to Tweek, repeatedly, waiting for an answer. "...Wow... You don't waste time, do you Kyle?"

"Craig... It's not what it looks like." I hold my hands up.

"Yeah, see people say that..." He nods, a hint of anger to his tone. "But there's only really one explanation for what I just saw."

"Why are you even here?" Tweek suddenly snaps.

"Well I brought back that video game I borrowed." He places it down on the desk. "I also thought I'd pop in to see my so called 'boyfriend'."

"When did we ever decide that?" He argues. "We said we would take things slowly."

"Yeah and I didn't think that meant sleeping with the next guy who is available!" Craig raises his voice.

"Can I just interrupt a second." I stick my hand up. "Uh... We weren't sleeping together and also, this isn't Tweek's fault. I was upset over... Things and I just needed... Something to make me feel appreciated. It was a kiss, that's all, I initiated it."

"Yeah? Well then go to a gay bar." Craig practically spits, leaving the room.

"...Go after him." I wave my hand at Tweek, and he gets up immediately, leaving me alone to collapse in a heap on the bed.

 **Bebe PoV**

"Where the hell have you been?" I snap at Kenny as soon as he walks through the door.

"Uh... Anywhere but the bar?" He slurs, leaning up against the torn wallpaper.

"I've been trying to get hold of you all day." I tell him, placing a hand on my stomach. "Something isn't right."

"What do you mean?" He frowns, going to the sink to grab a cup of water.

"...I've been getting these cramps." I mutter.

"So?" He rolls his eyes, clearly wasted. "You're pregnant. What did you expect when you ditched the condom?"

"School alright?" I divert the topic.

"The cheerleaders are all still asking after you." He informs me. "Lisa Burger has started auditions for new members."

"That's my job!" I exclaim.

"They'd have no cheerleaders if they put you at the top of the pyramid!" He snaps. "They'd be in Hells Pass with several broken bones."

"KENNY!" I scream, hurling a nearby photo frame at him as it shatters against the wall.

"It was a fucking joke Bebe calm down!" He raises his voice.

"You know how much that hurts me." I huff at him and he rolls his eyes.

"Then maybe you should have considered it before not taking precautions!" He yells.

"You're drunk." I state the obvious, glaring at him. "Besides, there were two people involved in this. I'm sure you'd love to be in my position; getting fat, having to give birth, not being able to drink, wow look at that-"

"Losing all my family?" He chips in. "Oh hold on-"

"BECAUSE YOUR DAD WAS A DRUNKEN WASTE OF SKIN." I scream. "JUST LIKE YOU."

His face falls in shock, a wave of hurt almost washing over it. Ok, too far Bebe.

"What and you're just the symbol of purity and good?" He glares at me, practically growling, before turning and pulling a vodka bottle from the cupboard. He unscrews the lid, taking a long glug from it, before wiping the back of his hand roughly across his stubble.

"YOU'RE NOT EVEN TRYING TO PROVE ME WRONG!" I scream, angered and out of utter frustration he lashes out, throwing some heavy, dusty ornament at me. I feel a shoot of pain as it collides with my abdomen, knocking me to the floor. He stares at me, his eyes wide, his chest rising and falling in succession as I try to lift my head to look at him.

"Oh God..." He mutters, throwing the vodka bottle onto the floor where is smashes, clear liquid flowing out onto the broken kitchen tiles. "Bebe I'm so sorry, I'm so, so sorry... Can you move? Can you get up... Say something please, are you hurt?"

"No." I try to force back tears as a searing pain ripples through my stomach. I was hurt, but I didn't want him anywhere near me, not anymore.

"Right um... Sit up against the wall." He offers, flustered as he tries to help me up.

"Get off me Kenny." I hiss and he retracts suddenly. "I mean it; leave me alone."

I force myself up, a hand clasped over my stomach, but his whimper as I do so stops me in my tracks.

"Bebe..." He whispers, eyeing me up, fear in his eyes. "Bebe, you're bleeding."

 **Stan PoV**

"Guys do you mind if Wendy walks back with us today?" Emily asks, peering round to face me and Douglas once after-school revision was over and we were finally out in the open.

"Fine by me." Douglas shrugs, giving me a sideways glance. "But uh, Stan might have other ideas."

"No... It's alright." I smile as she turns to beckon my ex girlfriend over.

"You know what? I'm actually thinking I might be able to do something with my life." Douglas suddenly pipes up, which shocks me slightly, but it was music to my ears. "Those equations we were doing; I really actually got them... I figured, if I can do that, I can do a lot of things?"

"Woah." I raise my eyebrows. "Awesome dude."

"Maybe I won't be a washed up homeless guy after all." He coughs slightly, quoting probably most of the whole school, who had brought his self esteem down over the years.

"Ahh..." Emily beams at him, taking his hand freely without worrying who was looking at us. "Look at you being all positive."

It wasn't long before they were walking a few paces ahead of us, engrossed in a conversation that seemed far from me and Wendy's interests right now.

"So..." Wendy coughs awkwardly. "How's your day been?"

"Shit as always." I say without thinking, it was an automatic response now and she gives me a concerned look.

"Stan..." She hesitates, squeezing her eyes shut. "You mentioned the other day... I mean..."

"Forget about it." I snap, knowing exactly what she was hinting at. It had already been playing on my mind that she had picked up on it, but I had no intentions of sharing my mental health conditions with my ex girlfriend, neither was I going to risk anything being spread around school.

"...I only want to help." She sighs, weakly. It took me back months; to when I would be in a mood after losing a football match. She would sit in the bleachers with me, staring down onto the empty pitch, still in her cheerleading uniform and when I pushed her away she would reply with 'I only want to help'.

Every time I would put my arm around her, kiss her on the forehead and apologise. Apologise for pushing her away over something so petty. But now I couldn't do that. Now it wasn't the same.

"I know..." I mutter, wiping a hand roughly over my face before approaching my house. "But you can't."

It's blunt, but true, and I don't look back at her as I practically run down the path, pulling open the front door and collapsing the other side of it. Wendy's voice was still playing in my ears. 'I only want to help'. Course she only wanted to help. Despite everything, she was the sweetest, most genuine person I had met and I don't think I would ever stop loving her. I would do anything to have her back, but it was because I loved her that I couldn't. I couldn't put her through the pain of being with me.

I pull out my revision books, cascading them into a heap on the floor, before something catches my eye. I reach out, my fingers enclosing over the silver bracelet, the words 'I love you' engraved into it. It was the bracelet I gave Wendy, except it wasn't. The clasp was different and the design was more masculine. I had spent ages deciding on which style to buy her in the shop, and I knew it certainly was not this one. This was another one, another bracelet which had been made for me...

 **Wendy PoV**

The stack of books on my desk were not appealing to me in the slightest. I didn't feel the tiniest bit guilty about not opening them, which usually would be a sin. But I had bigger priorities now, like trying to stay alive. Trying to not think about the operation I had coming up. Or the rounds of chemo that would follow to prevent it spreading further. But despite all this, I couldn't help but worry about Stan. I loved him so much, even if I tried to deny it. I couldn't deny that I would wake up every morning, disappointed not to feel his arms around me, or go to sleep every night feeling empty, lonely without him there. I needed him to kiss my forehead and tell me everything would be OK. I needed him to know, but he wouldn't care, surely, he had his own problems and I didn't want to add to that.

 _Monkey, wheels keep turning,_

 _Monkey, something's burning,_

 _Monkey, don't like it but I guess I'm learning._

I blink, concerned I may be hallucinating for a second. Was 'Shock The Monkey' playing in my front yard?

 _Monkey, too much at stake,_

 _Monkey, ground beneath me shake,_

 _Monkey, and the news is breaking._

No, I definitely wasn't imagining this. I pull myself up, wiping the tears off my cheek with the back of my hand and peer out of my window.

I'd known, when I'd heard the song. But I forced myself not to get my hopes up.

Sure as hell, Stan was stood before me, staring up into my window, with a boom box held over his head.

It was as if we were back in fourth grade again, minus Token strutting around my room, when all that mattered was silly relationship arguments. Now we had bigger problems, and if this was the one thing that we could physically relieve ourselves from, I was not holding back any opportunity.

"...You'll wake the neighbours up." I pull open my front door, after trying not to practically dive down the stairs. It was the first thing that could come into my head, as he lowers the boom box slowly.

 _Shock the monkey, shock the monkey._

 _Shock the monkey, shock the monkey._

 _Shock the monkey to life._

The song fades out and we're stood in silence, staring at one another.

"I'm assuming this was your handy work?" He holds up a silver bracelet and I try to conceal the one I was wearing on my own wrist, but he has seen it and I was exposed.

"...That's been in your bag weeks Stan." I force back a laugh. "Don't revise much, do you?"

"Can't say it's been my top priority at the moment." He shrugs.

"Me neither." I shake my head, forcing myself to look at him. "I'm sorry about being so persistent earlier... It's personal, I shouldn't have..."

"I'm sorry for pushing you away." He shakes his head, stepping closer to me.

"It isn't... Because I broke up with you?" I dare to ask and he exhales, a trail of thought lining his brow.

"I felt like this beforehand... Hence why I was such a shit boyfriend." He admits. "But I gotta say it's intensified since."

"I didn't want to break up with you." I squeeze my eyes shut, staring at the floor, as I feel him move closer.

"I just wanted to protect you." He whispers and I meet his gaze.

"So did I..." I trail off, and he frowns. "I didn't want to drag you into something that would ruin your life as well as mine..."

"What do you mean?" He says, softly and it soothes me, my eyes brim with tears and I don't know why I never told him before, because he was the only one I wanted to know. The only one who could really help me, and hold me and love me no matter what.

"Stan..." My voice is hoarse as I brush a tear off my cheek. "I love you."

"I love you too." He replies, almost instantly, but his face was searching me for the reason behind all of this, his gaze full of love and care.

"I have breast cancer." I try to make it more than a whisper, but my throat is clouded with tears and I'm trying to hold myself up, but I can't. But it's alright, because he has got me, and his arms are safe around me as I cry into his chest, and he rocks me slowly, back and forth. "Will you stay with me, tonight, please?"

"Forever." He whispers into my hair, his own tears seeping through to my scalp. But his weakness doesn't scare me, it makes me feel equal, and real, and it feels like us again.

It feels like us again.

* * *

 _ **Please leave a review if you wouldn't mind and thank you for all the lovely ones I have been receiving!**_


	43. A House That Hurt To Call 'Home'

**Kenny PoV**

I sit, sobbing with my head in my hands, crouched against the wall like an innocent school boy. I wedge a whiskey bottle between my knees, my eyes fixated on where Bebe was propped up against the sofa, nursing her tummy, whilst squinting in pain.

"We need to get you to a hospital." Is what I've been saying for the past two hours, although nothing had been done about it. "Please... This is our baby."

"Because you care so much about it." She mutters, her voice weak.

"I do." I beg her, crawling over and knocking the whiskey bottle onto its side. "I do, I love you both." I reach for her hand, kissing it, tears streaming down my face. She tilts her head, giving me an unimpressed look at my drunken state. "I'll sober up and drive us... I can do that..."

"I AM NOT GETTING IN A CAR WITH YOU!" She screams, her eyes wide as she pulls her hand away. "ELSE IT'LL BE A ONE WAY TRIP TO THE HOSPITAL."

"I'll call someone." I tell her.

"It's three in the morning." She points out, getting up slowly and my eyes flash across the deep red pool that she had been sat in. "Ah..."

"Ambulance." My thoughts finally adjust, reaching for Bebe's cell phone as I had sold my own for alcohol money.

"911 what's your emergency?" I hear a voice pick up.

"Ambulance." I repeat and she puts me through.

"Denver and South Park ambulance services, how may I help you?" A man asks me.

"Yeah, my girlfriend is bleeding." I slur down the phone and there is a short silence.

"Ok can you elaborate a bit on that?" He questions.

"She's uh... She's pregnant." I explain, seeing Bebe's worried look. "She... Tripped and fell and now she's bleeding... Down... There, you know?"

"Tripped and fell." Bebe mutters under her breath, rolling her eyes in the process.

"House address please?" He inquires.

"Uh... The run down one on the edge of the town." I mutter, followed by an awkward silence. "We used to have a house number... Now we don't."

"Is it the one we've made several arrests at for the possession of Pabst Blue Ribbon?" He says, shortly.

"...Yeah." I nod. "That'd be the one."

 **Wendy PoV**

"Morning." I hear his voice, immediately soothing me. The mornings I had woken up wishing for this, his arm around my frame, my head tucked into his collar bone. I tilt my head slightly, and see he is smiling. He is smiling for the first time in so long, and to think I had inflicted that happiness on someone made me warm inside.

"Hello you." I poke him softly in the cheek, as he kisses me on the forehead. "Sleep well?"

"The best I have in ages." He whispers and I dwell on his words, relishing in them as if I had them to ration.

"Wendy, have you seen my-" Dad suddenly bursts in, the door flying open, with his top button undone. "Oh hi Craig..."

"Dad!" I squeal, partly because he had walked in on our naked entwined bodies and partly because he had mistaken Stan for someone else.

"Stan." My boyfriend corrects him, wrapping the comforter around us further, subconsciously.

"Get out!" I persist, waving my hand at him.

"I was just wondering if you'd seen my tie..." He trails off, eyeing us up cautiously. "So are you two back together then?"

"Leave!" I yell.

"The one with the stripes-"

"Now!" I finalise and he exits, shutting the door behind him. "I'm so sorry."

"Craig spent a lot of time in your bed, did he?" He grins and I slap him lightly.

"None at all." I promise him. "I was keeping it warm for when you came back."

"Oh yeah?" He murmurs, beginning to kiss me passionately, as I melt against his skin.

 **Kyle PoV**

I lie in my bed thinking about the other day; how I came onto Tweek, how we ended up making out on his bed and how Craig Tucker of all fucking people had to turn up.

Awkward didn't even come close to describing it.

I glance over at my clock, it read 9am and I couldn't sleep, so I decided to grab my jacket and go for a walk, making a mental note to avoid going anywhere near Stan's house, although I probably would anyway.

Part of me felt like I should tell him. I knew, deep down that it would be the outcome that would kill me, but I couldn't help dreaming of the opposing answer. What was wrong with me? Maybe it was just a phase... It wasn't like I was really attracted to 'guys', just Stan... And obviously Tweek, apparently.

"Can I talk to you Kyle?" I jump, slipping on a piece of ice as I hear the voice I had been second most trying to avoid. Craig.

 **Bebe PoV**

"What brand is this hospital gown?" I ask, glaring at Kenny as I lie on the bed. "Feels like it's made of paper."

"Probably is." He shrugs. "I don't think they fork out for designer gear from Gucci."

"Bebe Stevens?" A doctor approaches us, clipboard in hand.

"That would be me." I raise my hand effortlessly.

"Your tests have returned." He explains. "We've picked up on some abdominal bleeding-"

"Wow really?" Kenny's eyes widen, sarcastically. "We never would have guessed."

"Kenny shut up!" I snap, turning back to the doctor. "Abdominal bleeding blah blah, what else?"

"Well... I'm happy to inform you that your baby is still in a safe position." He stutters, bemused by our responses. "The bleeding was caused by a tear to the vaginal tissue, which was dislodged when you fell."

"Thank God." Kenny sighs, cupping his hands over his face as he turns to stare at the wall.

"Relieved because you won't get into trouble?" I question him, as he turns around to stare at me intently.

"No, believe it or not." He raises his voice slightly. "I'm actually relieved because our baby isn't dead."

"If I could continue..." The doctor interrupts us. "I do suggest you take it easy, but since your spotting has decreased, we are allowed to discharge you for now."

"Thank fucking God." I stand up, abruptly, feeling slightly dizzy but not mentioning it in case they change their minds. "It's now... nine forty in the morning." I check the clock. "I've been here a good five hours at least, this isn't a prison, you can't keep me for a whole day and then charge me or release me on bail."

"Come on before they decide otherwise." Kenny pulls on my arm slightly and I pull myself up, glancing in the mirror and pulling a face. At least no one would see me, everyone I knew would be in school now, bar Cartman, but I can't imagine he would be taking a trip to the maternity ward when he could be annoying the nurses in his own.

"Bebe?" I hear a familiar voice and it makes me jump out of my skin. I immediately remove my hand from where it's clasped over my stomach, my bump predominant in the gown I was wearing.

"Red." I manage to reply, praying she wouldn't clock what was going on, but she had, it was obvious, we were virtually stood under the maternity sign.

"...You're pregnant?" I could see her trying to conceal the grin on her face, pretending to be sympathetic. It was a quality I hated of hers, which had developed over the past few months.

"What are you doing here?" I snap, because I knew there was no point in denying it.

"Visiting my auntie." She explains, pointing vaguely towards the ward. "She gave birth this morning... Forty eight hours of labour."

"Cool." I brush her off, knowing she was digging the knife in purposely. Forty eight hours? Surely that wasn't possible...

"So... This is why you haven't been in school?" She raises her eyebrows, eyeing me up and down. "When you popping the sprog?"

"It's none of your business." I mutter, trying to walk past her.

"Come on Bebe." She grabs my arm, her grip harsh, as she slowly flicks her red side fringe out of her eyes, to stare at me menacingly. "I thought we were friends."

"Well we're not." I whisper, tearing my arm away from her. "Not anymore, Rebecca."

 **Kyle PoV**

'Talk?' I was expecting Craig Tucker to do more than 'talk' to me. Bruise and blister my face maybe, but he seemed remarkably calm considering the circumstances.

"So how long have you had a crush on my boyfriend?" He asks, casually as he then took a long slurp from his coke. He didn't seem at all fazed about the fact we were skipping school, sat in the fast food restaurant where anyone could encounter us.

Funnily enough at the other end of the restaurant I saw Kevin and Pete chatting over a bunch of McNuggets and couldn't help but overhear them talking about taking their girlfriends to some video game convention.

"Why isn't anyone in school?" I decide to ask, avoiding the question.

"Study leave... Don't you pay attention?" He eyes me up cautiously.

"I've had my mind focused on other matters..." I trail off, it was unlike me, not to be set on my exams, revising every second of every day. But to be honest, I didn't give a shit. "And it's not a crush..." I decide to answer his question, before he thinks I really am hiding something. "It just sort of... Happened."

"Right." Craig says in that monotone voice of his, which Tweek seemingly found hot.

"Look…" I begin, not sure of where this was going. "If you want Tweek back, just talk to him, he does miss you a lot." His shocked expression urges me to continue. "He was upset because he misses you and those eavesdropper rumours didn't help."

Craig hesitates, grabbing another nugget and dipping it into his sauce, as slowly as possible. "...Thank you Kyle, I appreciate it."

"Well I'm glad we worked that out." I reply, surprised at how reasoning he was now being, as I grab a handful of fries.

"Also Kyle..." Craig looks up.

"Yes?" I respond, aware this would probably be a pep talk about getting over Stan, because it was apparently that obvious.

"Stay the fuck away from my man bitch or I'll kick your ass into next year!" He points a nugget at me, intimidatingly before devouring it.

"Oh... Ok..." I say nervously, not knowing whether this was better or worse than the anticipated.

 **Stan PoV**

"You sure about this?" Wendy stares at me nervously, her eyes moving to the computer in front of us.

"If you don't want to, we don't have to." I prompt her and she shakes her head. "On the upside at least no one is at school, so we don't have to deal with the bitching and rumours."

"They'll happen either way Stan." She grins, reaching forward and pressing the button on the mouse. My Facebook newsfeed refreshes and my relationship status appears at the top.

 _Stan Marsh_

 _In a relationship with Wendy Testaburger_

 _Yesterday_

"Yesterday." She giggles. "Feels like this is all brand new."

"Can be if you want it to." I smile.

"Does that mean we get the honeymoon period again?" She bites her lip.

"I thought it always was." I laugh, hoisting her onto my hips quickly, before placing her down on the bed, and running my thumb up and down her thigh seductively before leaning in to kiss her.

 **Kenny PoV**

"Thank you." I say to the taxi man before Bebe reluctantly hands him a ten dollar note, glaring at me in the process. I was pretty sure this wasn't the way to win her over but I actually had no money.

"What happened to 'don't worry, everything will be fine, I'll get several jobs to support our little family'?" Bebe jibes as we enter the broken house, a putrid smell of dust and stale vodka fills our sinuses. "...Why did I ever fall in love with you?"

"...Is that past tense?" I ask, hesitantly and she pauses in thought. It wouldn't surprise me; a girl like Bebe Stevens could have everything and anything she wanted, it was because of me that she was pregnant, unpopular and slumming it in a house that hurt to call 'home'.

"Unfortunately... No." She finalises. "I still love you, I just hate you more."

"You can't love and hate someone." I tell her, leaning up against the peeling wall.

"I assure you, you can." She concludes. "You can also hate that you love them."

"And that's how you feel?" I whisper, which she just responds to with a nod.

"Progressively." She admits, sitting down on the sofa with one hand on her bump. "How did I ever think you'd be a good dad?"

"Well it wasn't planned." I raise my voice slightly, getting sick of her slagging me off. I was aware of how hated I was, how pathetic, but I didn't need to hear it repeated over and over again. "And actually I was always careful to use protection... So it must have been you who decided to ditch it one time."

"Or it was with someone else." She blurts out, leaving silence hanging in the air, heavy, aching.

"What?" I frown, but my voice was weak and no longer intimidating.

"...Nothing." She shrugs it off, but I can see the awkwardness in her expression. She is staring blankly at the wall, her hands wringing in her lap, trying to gage whether she just admitted her darkest secret out loud. Well she had, and I had heard it.

"No..." I gulp, walking towards her slightly. "What do you mean 'someone else'?"

"I was lashing out." She lies, blatantly, and it angers me. I move forward as she stands, facing me and backing away.

"TELL ME, WHAT YOU MEANT." I shout in her face and the room falls silent again, as tears brim in the bottom of her eyes, willing themselves not to fall, resting precariously like a baby in a hammock.

"What..." She hesitates, her voice shaking. She was scared now, she could try and hide it all she liked, but she was scared. "You gonna hit me? Maybe push me again? Finish this baby off?"

"This baby?" I prompt her. "Not _our_ baby?"

"...I don't know." She finally admits, her exhale of breath catching on the realisation that hung in the air.

"...Who?" I manage to ask, not dropping eye contact, I was staring at her intensely, willing her to admit the truth, even though it may be the most painful thing I had heard.

"Clyde." She whispers.

* * *

 _ **Pleasee leave a review, even if it's just a guest one, I love feedback!**_


	44. Breakthrough

**Cartman PoV**

"I was thinking maybe a welcome home party." Mom fusses, brushing down the sleeves of my pyjama top. "I could make banners and... Food, for when you come out of hospital."

"No." I reply, bluntly. "Besides I'm getting discharged today, you won't have time to make anything."

"I could get KFC?" She tempts me. The word used to literally cause palpitations in my throat, my mouth would water and I would immediately sink into a state of desperation for the chicken. But now, it didn't faze me in the slightest. I felt drained and empty, and nothing seemed to make me feel hungry anymore.

"No." I repeat, seeing her face fall a little. The nurses were already persuading me to see a counsellor, and a psychiatrist had been in to assess my symptoms and why I had resorted to 'starving myself'. Therefore, I had aimed to drop Kyle in it as much as possible. Maybe he would be arrested, he could share the family ticket with Kenny's mother for an annual trip to the prison.

"Ok Eric, how are we feeling today?" A nurse comes over to me, equally fussing over me and rolling up the sleeves my mother had just taken down.

"Top of the world." I mutter. "I get to get out of this shit hole at least... After this therapy session or whatever."

"Right but remember what the psychiatrist said to you?" She prompts me. "Try to eat little bits here and there, even if it's just a snack, you need to start filling yourself out a bit more."

"Said no one ever." I scoff, it actually felt good for someone to say that to me, like I had achieved something. She gives me a worried glance before heading to the next bed along.

"How you feeling this morning, buddy?" I hear an annoying but familiar voice as Butters punches me in the arm. It was the lightest of punches, but bruises me easily and I try to conceal the pain from the audience around me.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I glare at him, rubbing my arm, as if he had millions of germs spreading from a simple touch.

"Told the nurse I was your cousin." He shrugs.

"Oh great." I roll my eyes, raising my voice slightly. "To make this even worse, now they all think I'm related to you?"

"Now Eric, that's not very nice." Mom tells me, patting Butters on the shoulder appreciatively. "What a lovely gesture for your little friend to come."

"Scuse me, nurse." I press my buzzer loudly. "My mom needs to be transferred to the mental health unit, and take him with you."

"Oh cool, an adventure." Butters' eyes light up. "Is that where your hospital friends are?"

"You're in the mental health unit." A nurse explains to me, bluntly.

"Oh..." Butters ponders, looking around curiously. "Well where's the isolated rooms with padded walls?"

"It's not a prison." I virtually spit at him, embarrassed that Butters of all people had just established where I was.

"We need to take some more bloods." The nurse persists. "It's procedure, to check you are alright to be discharged."

"I'll have no blood left." I huff, eyeing up the needle warily. "It's the only thing filling me up right now."

"I think a welcome home party sounds like a great idea." The nurse tells me, clearly overhearing our conversation. "Maybe just some snacky bits that might fill you up a bit."

"Or, we could have a chocolate fondue, except with my blood." I glare at her, my eyes darting to the needle in my arm. "Since everyone seems so interested in it."

"...Or a quiet night in could work." She shrugs, removing the needle and walking off, followed by my gaze. One thing was for sure, I couldn't wait to get out of this dump.

 **Bebe PoV**

I stir, my back cramping from being on the couch all night. I glance over at Kenny, who was drooling in his sleep, lying against the wall on the rotting carpet, a pool of sick accompanying him. How did I end up here? What did I do to deserve this?

Then again, what did _he_ do to deserve this? He didn't ask for a broken family, a run down home, a pregnant girlfriend, one who only last night, admitted it might not even be his baby.

Maybe he would forget, after drinking himself virtually to death, sitting at the kitchen counter, or more... Standing, given that the chair would give way if he was to balance on it. But it was wishful thinking, he hadn't even been angry, just upset, hurt and shocked.

"Fucks sake..." I hear a grumble, as Kenny moves his heavy head out of the puddle next to him.

"There's no one else to blame but yourself." I mutter, eyeing him up hatefully.

"And you, for dropping a bombshell on me." He sighs, reluctantly.

"So you do remember then?" I avoid eye contact with him, although he seemed more focused on the vomit now glued to his cheek.

"I might forget how and when I'm drowning my sorrows." He mutters. "But I don't forget why."

"I don't even know whether it is Clyde's." I blurt out, keen to defend myself. "I mean... It might not be."

"But it might be." He prompts me, and I bow my head slightly. "And why might that be? Because we've been together a solid... Eight months now."

"I know." I mumble, trying to prevent my face from flushing. Suddenly this whole thing had turned round on me, and I hated it.

"So... What?" He narrows his eyes. "They've lengthened the duration of pregnancy now?"

"No." I respond, bluntly.

"...When?" He sighs, knowing there was no point in stringing it out.

"Jason's party." I admit and his face falls immediately.

"...That's the night we got together." He points out, his voice weakening. "So you can't have."

"I don't actually remember..." My mind clouds and I squeeze my eyes shut. "But Wendy said I got really drunk and I had sex with him, that's the information I'm going on, it might be a pile of bullshit-"

"Wendy?" He virtually spits. "But... I've been there for Wendy."

"I know." I exclaim. "But-"

"I've been a rock to her these past few months." Kenny raises his voice, anger brewing again. "Helped her with her breast cancer, and she's completely-"

"...What?" I stop him, my voice barely a whisper and his eyes widen in shock.

"What?" He retaliates, I could see in his face that he had done something very wrong.

"What?" I repeat, and we both stare at one another, the silence so heavy and intoxicating it made me feel queasy.

"...Nothing." He shrugs it off. "Anyway, what possessed you to sleep with-"

"Wendy has breast cancer?" I prompt him and his head hangs in shame.

"She wanted it to be a secret." He admits. "So please, no eavesdropper, or wicked games. It's somethings serious-"

"Oh like I would." I snap at him, slightly upset by his low opinions of me. "She's my best friend, believe it or not, and even if it was someone like Red, I still wouldn't blurt something like that out to the world."

"Ok so now all that is cleared up." He silences me. "Can we go back to when you were in the wrong."

"Low blow." I glare at him.

"No, you're a low blow." He digs. "Diverting the subject with something as serious as that."

"YOU WERE THE ONE WHO BLURTED IT OUT!" I scream at him.

"BECAUSE MY SLAG OF A GIRLFRIEND HAD SEX WITH THE GUY WHO ABUSED HER." He yells and I'm taken aback, the room falling silent again.

"Sorry..." He whispers, but I shake my head, pulling myself up. "Bebe, I'm sorry."

"Forget it." I walk out of the house, running down the path and failing at preventing the tears from falling down my cheeks.

 **Wendy PoV**

"You'll be fine." I kiss Stan, squeezing his hand as he looks at me nervously. He was off to his first therapy group session at Hells Pass, I'd have gone with him but he refused to let me go.

"I love you." He smiles.

"I love you too." I reply, as he kisses me one more time before trudging off down the garden path. Once he has cleared from view, my eyes focus on Bebe, who was apparently walking towards me.

"Alright?" I mutter, my voice frosty. We hadn't spoken properly in a while, I hadn't really spoken to any of my friends, bar Stan, for a fair few months.

"Back together then." She indicates at where Stan was walking off in the distance.

"Didn't you get the newsletter?" I ask her. "...It was on Facebook."

"I haven't had access to anything." She shrugs. "Been sleeping at Kenny's, naturally it's not really an electronic haven."

"Sounds fun that." I mutter. "Who needs five star hotels?"

"Yeah well... It was better than living on the streets." She shrugs, and my eyes narrow at her.

"Come in." I say, reluctantly although I had missed this. Me and Bebe made a pact in second grade, if either of us were in trouble, as would put one another first, no matter what the circumstances.

"He's found out about Clyde." She admits, sitting down on the couch and staring into the distance. "Well... More, it came up in conversation."

"I'm guessing that wasn't casual morning chatter over your Captain Crunch?" I assume and she nods.

"We've been arguing... A lot." She tells me. "He's been drinking... A lot. It's not a good combination."

"...Has he hurt you?" I ask, suddenly protective of her and the look on her face says it all.

"He threw an ornament of some sort at me the other day." She explains. "Put me in hospital."

"Is that why you weren't in school?" I ask and she shakes her head.

"No it was only for a few hours, then I was discharged." I inform her. "Tearing to the lining of vaginal tissue... Or something."

"So he's kicked you out? After all that?" I persist. "He put you in hospital, could have murdered your baby and yet you have to walk."

"Actually... I walked." I correct her. "Because he was the one who started exposing secrets..."

"...What?" I linger on the word, the look she was giving me was worrying.

"He was kicking off at you, for knowing about Clyde." She explains, slowly. "Then... He told me... About... I mean, is it true?"

"Is what true?" I attempt to cover up, but there was no point. "...Yes."

"You should have said something..." She trails off, and I try to swallow the lump that was stuck in my throat.

"You had enough on your plate." I shrug her off, knowing the real reasons were both because I was embarrassed and because I might have not trusted Bebe at the time. I was fuming at Kenny, after promising to keep it a secret, he was stupid enough to let it slip in an argument. He thought it was a simple sentence, but to me it was my life. "Drunken idiot."

"Tell me about it." She mutters, reaching out to take my hand, squeezing it warmly. "I'm sorry I haven't been there for you."

"Don't worry about it." I manage a smile. "You can be... Next week when I have my operation if you want?"

"Operation?" She sounds slightly panicked when repeating this word.

"To remove the lump." I explain. "They say if it's successful I might not have to have further chemo."

"How come you're so... Positive about everything?" She asks. "I'm always down at the moment, and scared. So scared."

"Because it's the only way to be, isn't it?" I tell her. "I'm bricking it inside, just like you are."

"What a pair hey?" Her eyes glisten with tears and we stare at each other for a second, before moving to wrap one another in a hug.

 **Stan PoV**

I walk down the hallways, my palms sweating, legs shaking so much so that placing one foot in front of the other took great effort.

This was one of the biggest things I had to do, walk into a room, face to face with other teenagers going through the same things as me. Equally as scared? Who knows, some of them had done this for months, years maybe even. I round the corner. Either way, my secret was going to be exposed to a group of people I didn't know.

And Cartman, apparently.

"Stan?" He frowns as I stand in the doorway, frozen, what the fuck was he doing here? "Oh fucks sake I told you to leave me alone, I'm fine."

"What?" I manage to voice.

"Just because it's your fault I'm in here doesn't mean you have to feel guilty and turn up to hospital all the time." He explains, and then my mind clicks. He thought I was here for him, not for me.

"Oh... Yeah..." I stutter, peering around the unfamiliar faces sat in the circle. Ok, I could leg it now and it would all be fine.

"Stan Marsh?" I hear a voice and turn around, my heart sinking as I see a friendly looking man in a white shirt, holding a clipboard.

"Uh... No sorry." I hold my hands up, casting a sideways glance at Cartman. "I'm... Kenny McCormick..."

"He was supposed to turn up last week for a therapy session after his girlfriend signed him up, but didn't." He explains and I freeze. "And according to this picture I have in your file, _you_ are Stan Marsh." He holds it up and I stare at the picture, damn that was my school photo from this year, I had a massive zit on my forehead and so persuaded mom not to buy it. "It's alright, take a seat, you have nothing to worry about."

"So..." Cartman is grinning at me now, wincing as he sits down on one of the plastic chairs, clearly uncomfortable due to the lack of flesh to cushion it. "Why are you fucked up?"

"Eric that's enough." The man scolds him, but it doesn't dismiss the smirk on Cartman's face. "I'm Mark, I'll be your counsellor for today, or the following sessions you may attend."

"Hi Mark." A few of the teenagers chorus, unenthusiastically. They were clearly the ones who were not here for their first session.

"So would anyone like to kick this off, have a chat about how they're feeling?" He asks the group, causing me to exchange an awkward look with Cartman.

He had now stopped jeering and was fumbling with his hands in his lap, clearly suddenly scared, perhaps ashamed. It was something I rarely saw; Cartman feeling intimidated, but it was the first time I could properly see his weight loss, his bony structure beneath the thick material of his pyjamas, indicating he still had not been discharged. No one had really picked up on it, we only tolerated Cartman, or paid him any attention when he was ripping on people. But just looking at him now showed me just how much he was hurting, just how much the years of insults and snide comments had really affected him. He was wasting away, and for once, I actually wished he would eat the skin off our KFC whilst we collected the shopping bags, maybe I wouldn't be so mad at him. I never thought I could care about Eric Cartman, but seeing his face right now, it all made sense; he was scared, he was ashamed and he was insecure. That's why he felt the need to insult anyone who came into his orbit, to try and make them understand exactly how he felt, every single day.

"I'm Nancy." One girl stands, her hands shaking, as she stares at the floor. "I was diagnosed with moderate schizophrenia about six months ago... I was in denial, I refused to believe it. But secretly I knew I had to do something, I started attending private therapy sessions about four months ago, and have now had five sessions here..."

"Thank you Nancy." Mark says, in a soft voice. "Would you like to tell us anything else about your condition?"

"...I could never be myself. For years I felt like I was being controlled my someone else, like my mind wasn't my own and my body was just an empty shell." She explains, slowly becoming more confident. "The voices come and go, sometimes it's just sounds; a scream, a beep of a train, just an ongoing buzz that I can't get rid of. Some days it's really intense, it'll hit when I'm stood at the bus stop, or sat in tech class, or just lying awake at night. It's a continuous cycle; I can't sleep so the voices begin, then because the voices begin, I can't sleep. I've learnt over the months of therapy and counselling that, they're my own voices though. It's just myself, telling me I'm fat, telling me I'm worthless. Being here and seeking help, has changed my life. It's much less frequent now, I have a job at the local restaurant, I'm doing my exams next year. Things slowly feel like they're beginning to piece themselves back together, and I'm so proud of myself for doing the right thing, and getting help."

"Thank you." Mark smiles at her, as she sits in her seat. "A very moving account of how you've coped these last few months. You see, often talking about things can do you a world of good, it allows you to share your experiences with other people, people who might be feeling similar things. It shows each and every one of you that you're not alone, that you have so much support behind you, and that you're not all the things you've been convincing yourself you are for months, years maybe."

My eyes move to where Cartman was sat, gripping the edge of his seat and shuffling uncomfortably. He rejoins eye contact, but it was an honest, apologetic eye contact. In that moment we both clicked, for the first time in ages, and in that moment, we both had the same idea...

* * *

 ** _If you feel something may be wrong, please seek help. 10% of children and young people (aged 5-16 years) have a clinically diagnosable mental problem. That's 1/10, 10/100, 100/1000. So you're not alone, if you ever need to talk about how you're feeling, you can message me. I've been through the process and can hopefully offer some advice as to how to seek help xxx_**


	45. The Definition Of Love

**The definition of love:**

 **Bebe PoV**

It isn't until my eyes adjust that I'm aware I'm in Wendy's bed. I feel her; warm, next to me, the sound of her breathing so gentle even though her life was at risk.

I tilt my head to where Stan was lying on the floor, a blanket covering him. He had a smile on his face, very faint, but it was there. How ironic, for the both of them. Breathing, smiling, two of the simplest things, of which were the most difficult tasks in the darkest days.

I move my hand to my tummy, feeling the soft movements of my baby, my little boy. I would work the rest of my life if I had to, to help him grow, strive to be the best he could be. He wouldn't be his father, he wouldn't be his grandfather. He was a new life, a new human being, who I would do anything to protect. It was just me and him now and somehow I felt stronger.

 **Cartman PoV**

I was thinking maybe my bed at home would be more comfortable than at the hospital, but clearly it wasn't the mattress that was the problem. I had been tossing and turning all night, the slightest movement feeling as if it was bruising my body.

I had tried eating a carrot stick last night, following hearing people's stories at the group, it had made me realise, maybe I was being too extreme. But my body had rejected it and I couldn't swallow anything without feeling sick. So I was scared now, scared I would just keep wasting away, and to go from over-eating, to nothing at all, had clearly had a severe impact on my body. It was weak, it was tired, it was destroyed. Whatever I did, I could never be 'normal', that was something that would forever haunt me.

I pull myself out of bed, aching, using all my strength just to sit up. I wince at my phone, the light penetrating my eyes.

 _Douchebag (Stan) (3 Missed Calls)_

 _Douchebag (Stan):_

 _You missed a call from me at 23:41 on the 27 May. This is a free Call Alert from O2. To disable this dial 247, press *, then option 4 and option 5._

 _Jew (Kyle):_

 _Dude, any ideas where Stan is?_

 _Douchebag (Stan):_

 _Call me back when u get the chance plz_

Fucks sake, why was I so popular when I didn't want to talk to anyone? I sigh, reluctantly before pressing Stan's contact name.

"You requested my voice." I tell him before he could even respond to the call.

"Oh... Yeah hi." He mumbles, clearly groggy because he had just woken up. "Bebe chuck me that shirt will you?"

"Wait... You're with Bebe?" I inquire.

"Yes." He replies, bluntly.

"Sleeping with her?" I persist.

"No!" He exclaims. "She's sleeping with Wendy, I mean-"

"Bebe's sleeping with Wendy?" I scan the room, looking for a notepad.

"Oh not like that." He snaps at me. "I'm just taking this call outside."

"Ok." I hear Bebe say. 'I'm taking this call outside'? Who did he think he was? Beyoncé's PA?

"Alright, so you still game?" Stan whispers after a few clatters of doors opening and closing.

"I prefer chicken." I mutter. "Actually I prefer nothing right now."

"What?" He replies, clearly not getting the joke.

"Doesn't matter." I shake my head. "What's happened to you and why are you suddenly father Teresa?"

"That group just gave me the idea; we're all feeling a bit insecure at the moment." He explains. "Maybe we could do something similar, get the group back together again."

"I was never in the group." I respond. "None of you like me."

"...True." He admits. "But you could be, if people saw the real you."

"Oh shut up with your Martin Luther King speech." I practically spit, hating him trying to figure me out before I had chance to myself.

"Have you been revising history?" He asks me.

"Maybe a little..." I mutter. "Hospital was boring... Anyway, so what? You feel sad, Kenny likes a drink, I'm not hungry."

"Oh and I established something last night." Stan hushes his voice slightly. "But you can't tell anyone-"

"And Bebe's up the stick." I complete my sentence and a short silence falls upon us.

"Wait how do you know?" He exclaims, I had clearly just ruined his bit of gossip.

"Known for ages." I shrug. "I have my sources."

"So why haven't you exposed it in the morning announcements?" He inquires.

"Because, Stan." I respond, sourly. "I'm not a complete asshole."

"...No, why didn't you really?" He inserts.

"Because I know how it feels to be called fat, constantly be picked on about your weight." I explain, honestly. "And I wouldn't wish that upon anyone... Even Barbie."

"...Genuinely?" He pauses.

"Genuinely." I confirm, and I hear him hesitate again.

"Wendy has breast cancer." He admits, and it takes a few seconds to sink in. "So I guess that completes our group."

"...Wow." I try to hide the shock in my voice. "That's... Ironic... Looks like we all have secrets."

"Looks like we do." He concludes. "Wait, but what about Kyle?"

 **Kyle PoV**

"What the fuck has happened in here?" I enter Kenny's house, the interior smashed to pieces, despite the fact there wasn't anything to smash.

"What is love Kyle?" Kenny practically yells at me, causing me to take a step back. He was wasted, I could see it in his eyes, hear it in his voice. "Tell me that; what is love?"

"...Something you can't define." I conclude, after briefly thinking about it. It was late, so late that darkness has fallen upon the summer air. "Something you only know when you know it, it's not something you learn, it's something you feel, it's something you find."

"Is it supposed to be a good thing?" He asks me, his eyes red and sore from crying.

"I suppose, sometimes." I shrug. "For the lucky ones... But most of the time it just hurts."

"How do you know that?" Kenny narrows his eyes at me. "If you've never been in love?"

"Because I have." The words fall from my mouth, I didn't care anymore. I watch as they fall to the floor, visible, but impossible to touch. "But like I said, most of the time it just hurts."

"Not still lusting after that Rebecca chick are you?" He narrows his eyes at me, sitting in a pile on the floor.

"Ha... I wish." I mutter, staring at the floor, so intensely that I could identify every stain, every imperfection on the rotting carpet. "No it's someone a bit closer to home than that..."

"Oh my God... It's Wendy." He exclaims, pointing at me. "You so have a crush on Wendy."

"I don't have a _crush_ on anyone." I correct him. "And certainly not Wendy."

"Oh... Well good else Stan wouldn't be happy." He brushes it off, going back to sitting with his head in his hands.

"What does he care? Wendy is ancient history where he's concerned." I tell him and he raises his head.

"You're so out of the loop Kyle." Kenny sighs. "You do know they're back together?"

The words hit me like a bullet, a searing pain shooting through my chest. It's as if I've fallen off a skyscraper and landed on my back, winded, unable to speak, paralysed but somehow still alive. He was kidding, right? It was his idea of a joke...

His face falls, I remain static. The look of realisation glints in his eye. I want to run, but I'm isolated, I'm frozen. Everything immediately hurts, and he could see it. He knew why, he was drunk, not stupid.

"...It's Stan." His tone is surprisingly calm, but not questioning. It was as if he knew all along and had only just come to terms with it. I don't have the ability to shake or nod my head, so I remain fixed, staring at him with my sunken expression. "...The locker... It was true, wasn't it? The annoyance over Stan and Douglas... All the rumours at school... You're..."

"Don't." I whisper, fiercely, my fist clenching and releasing.

"Oh my God." His eyes are darting to every crevice of my face, trying to believe the truth. "Kyle, you're-"

"DON'T." I yell, throwing my hands over my ears like a child. I didn't need to hear Kenny say it, it was bad enough having the word flying around in my brain every hour of every day.

"Kyle." He speaks softly, as if he was suddenly the mature adult in this situation. "It's nothing to be ashamed-"

"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE." I shout, storming out of his house and running down the street, tears pouring down my cheeks. It wasn't fair, I didn't choose to be like this. Why me? Why was I the one suffering?

Wendy PoV

"So you'll be staying in here overnight, just to settle yourself in a bit." The nurse explains. "Then we will take you down to theatre tomorrow. Are you comfortable?"

"Yes thank you." I smile at her, trying to conceal my nerves.

"Alright, well the button is there if you need anything at all." She replies, giving me a warm look before walking off.

"Private room huh?" Stan casts his eyes around the room, clearly trying to divert my attention.

"Don't get any ideas." I grin at him and his face softens slightly.

"How are you so confident?" He dares to ask me.

"I'm not." I stifle a laugh. "This is all front."

"It'll be fine." He comes over to me, squeezing my hand. "Few nights in a... Hotel, free food, waiters at your service, comfy beds, handsome boyfriend sat by your bed all night."

"Just as it was getting good." I raise my eyebrows at him. "In all seriousness, you don't have to stay. My parents will be here at some point."

"I'm staying put." He sits down in the seat beside me. "Whether you like it or not."

"I love you." I link my fingers with his, moving closer to him.

"I love you too." He whispers, placing a kiss on my forehead. "Everything's gonna be fine, I promise."

 **Kyle PoV**

It took me less than a minute to get to my house, it wasn't far from Kenny's and the speed I was running now benefitted greatly.

I was hoping I'd get back and go straight to my room, dive on to my bed and just forget the world. But I was greeted by my mother, although 'greeted' was a bit too optimistic.

"Kyle, come and sit down with us." She leads me into the kitchen and I sit down abruptly, staring my dad in the eyes, who proceeds to lower his head into his hands.

"What?" I mutter. "Has someone died? Is Ike okay?"

"We've had a call from your friend Craig..." Mom speaks slowly and I protect the realisation from showing in my eyes. Oh shit. "At first we thought it was a wind up-"

"What's he said?" I interrupt her.

"He was really worried about you." She explains. "As are we... We've brought you up following the rules of Judaism... I just don't understand how this can happen."

"It's not true, Sheila." My dad pipes up. "We've been over this... Kyle, tell her."

"...Tell her what?" I squeak, the lump in my throat holding me back.

"That you're not... Gay." He splutters on the word and just like it had, minutes before, the word physically affects me. I sit there, unable to speak, paralysed under the situation I had dreaded, that had proceeded too fast.

"It's just... We know you aren't." Mom cuts in, as it didn't appear I was going to speak. "But then Mr Mackey phoned up saying we hadn't paid the damage to your locker and then we saw the pictures on that website... Is someone bullying you?"

"I don't know who that was." I respond, instantly. "It wasn't me."

"Well we know because... It's all untrue." Dad tells me. "You're a good boy, you wouldn't write such disgusting lies about yourself on your own locker."

"Was it that Eric Cartman?" Mom clenches her fist slightly.

"Like I said, I don't know who it was." I mumble, avoiding eye contact and staring at the table.

"Well why would your little friend Craig tell lies? That's what I don't understand." Dad ponders. "Even saying he saw you and Tweek kissing, it's disgusting."

"Because they weren't lies." The words slip from my mouth, not moving my gaze from the table. "It's all true."

"...Sorry?" Dad asks, after a stunned silence. "What are you implying?"

"That I'm gay... Or at least... I'm not straight." I try to clarify and they look at me blankly, unsure whether to laugh at the 'joke' or not.

"Don't be stupid." Mom suddenly raises her voice, high pitched and shrill, as if I'd told her I was about to join Isis. "Boys like you aren't... That."

"Boys like me?" I frown, seeing Dad's shocked and disgusted expression.

"You're not one of them." He argues, rudely. "You're... Strong, masculine... You're just... You're Kyle."

"He's probably just got it off some TV programme." Mom shakes her head. "He doesn't know, he's never been with a guy... He likes girls... Kyle you like girls, tell us-"

"I DON'T KNOW!" I yell, slamming my fist down on the table. "I don't know what I feel. But what I do know, is that I have feelings for guys... _A_ guy... And it's all just a bit of a mess up here..."

"...No." Dad stands up slowly, covering his face with his hands. "No way, shut up... Know what this is? It's that Mr... Mrs... Garrison, whatever he or she chose to be daily. Raising them at such a young age to think it's alright. Well it's not!"

"Do you think I _want_ to feel like this?" I ask him, my voice harsh, as I force back tears, a deep aching in my throat. "Don't you think I've tried to convince myself it's not true? I would do anything... Anything to be someone else right now... But this is me. This is your son dad, I'm your son..."

He turns to me slowly and for a second I think he's going to come over to me, kneel down, tell me that he's sorry and accepts me for whoever I am. But he just stares me, scanning me up and down, as if he's never met me before, as if he doesn't even know me.

"Counselling." He nods, dragging the back of his hand against his stubble. It isn't a question, it's an order. "We'll get you help, you'll be normal soon enough."

"I am normal." I object, gritting my teeth as I see mom staring at me, tears brimming in her eyes.

"You're Jewish." He states. "No... You'll do as we expect. You will marry a young woman, get a good job, have children and bring them up to worship our faith."

"It isn't 1864!" I exclaim. "I'm not your property, I can be whoever I want."

"Get out." He growls at me and I freeze.

"What?" I whisper.

"Pack a bag, and get out." He orders and I glance at mom, who wasn't offering any back-up. "You have ten minutes."

"You really hate me that much?" A tear spills down my cheek and I wipe it away quickly. "I really disgust you, because of who I am, to the extent you don't want me in your house?"

"We don't hate you Kyle." Mom finally pipes up, brushing her own tears away.

"What?" Gerald shoots her a look.

"We could never hate you." She promises, taking my hand. "You're our only biological son... We made a vow the day you were born to protect you, no matter what."

"I don't believe this." Gerald cups his face, exasperated. "You're taking his side?"

"He's my flesh and blood." She tells him. "Kyle is staying put, and if you don't like it, you can get out."

He glances at the two of us, in complete shock, before proceeding to leave the room, slamming the door with rage behind him. I realise then how much I am shaking, I've clenched my fist so hard that beads of blood were brewing from where my nails had dug in.

"I'm so sorry." I whisper, letting the tears pour from my eyes and mom was crying too. She pulls me towards her, as I bury my head in her chest, soaking her dress. She holds me tightly, swaying me, protecting me from further harm. I'd always thought she would be the one to go off on one about something like this, after blaming Canada and her social rallies, but it seemed she was on my side, it seemed maybe, just maybe, she loved me for who I was. Who I was meant to be and that was something I couldn't change, as much as I hated it.

 ** _I'm not discriminating against Judaism in the slightest, it's all for the purpose of the story. Please leave a review!_**


	46. Broken Promises

**Broken Promises:**

 **Wendy PoV**

"Morning." I hear a soft voice as my eyes open, blurred and adjusting to the unusual surroundings. It takes me a few minutes to clock where I was; the hospital and an instant pang of dread seeps through my body.

Surgery day.

Life or death day.

"How you feeling?" Stan's voice sounds again, clearer this time.

How was I feeling? I was feeling like I was about to be messed around with by people I never even knew, my body being in their hands and something I couldn't control. I felt like today would be the day I never thought would come, when I was stood in front of the class informing them of how cruel breast cancer is.

But it had.

And it had come to me.

"Fine." I lie, my voice slightly groggy. I didn't see the point in waking up, it would just make me more adamant to stay awake, which I knew wouldn't be a fight I'd win.

"Hey, it's all gonna be alright." He promises, I didn't know how, because neither of us knew that, no one knew that and if there was something I hated more than anything else, it was broken promises. I restrain myself from saying anything. He was only here to help, he was trying his best, as much as it infuriates me. "You'll be in and out as soon as you know it, and then it'll be done, yeah?"

More lies.

"Yeah." I respond, staring up at the peeling ceiling, hanging off every word he says, my head a cycle of contented torment, wishes which already had an answer, an answer that only fate was aware of.

"Ok Wendy, we've had the heads up to take you down to theatre." A nurse walks over to me, standing at the end of my bed.

"Already?" I panic, snapping out of the unpleasant haze I was quite happily dwelling in. I checked the clock; eight thirty, I had over slept. I had overslept? Of all the days how was that possible?

"If you're not ready we can delay five minutes." She explains. "But the timings aren't overly flexible, we'd like to make this the quickest it can be."

"...Alright." I sigh, after a brief pause, trying to steady myself. I feel a dim pain in my spine and realise it must be the anaesthetic. I didn't realise they were allowed to inject me without checking my permission but in a way I was relieved; I didn't have time to worry about it. I notice my parents enter out of the corner of my eye.

"Oh Wendy, you're going down already?" Mom fusses over me, practically throwing dad her coffee cup.

"As little excitement as we can please, she's under anaesthetic." The nurse explains, I was unsure as to what 'excitement' was supposed to mean, but it definitely didn't define going for a life threatening operation. I receive several taps on the head from my mother, which was supposedly a soothing gesture, before my dad gives me a thumbs up and they disappear from sight.

Stan on the other hand, seemingly intended to follow me right down the corridor, repeating the same old 'you'll be fine, I promise' routine, which was beginning to annoy me as much as when Bebe would put the new Justin Bieber song on loop for the duration of my stay.

My eyes were closing slowly, I feel Stan's fingers intertwine with mine. He leans down for a kiss, but I was too sleepy, the only affection I could hold on to right now was the glimmer of hope spinning around in my head.

Wendy Testaburger. Number three, six, eight, two. Seventeen years of age. Stage two breast cancer. Authorised options available to...

I was slipping away, my eyes fluttering closed, Stan's voice becoming faint, darkness surrounding me.

This was it.

I hated to sound bitter but if one of my 'friends' could be in my shoes right now, they might be a bit more appreciative of what they have.

 **Kyle PoV**

 _Disgusting_.

That's what I was; disgusting.

I lie on my back, staring up at the ceiling, stiff after finally giving in to my restlessness and accepting the fact I wouldn't sleep.

My legs were as agitated as my mind, tension overcoming them if they remained still for a matter of seconds. I had spent the night tossing and turning, kicking and rearing, but now I lay and let the restlessness swamp me, in a haze of uncomfortable energy and silence.

I had been waiting to hear the arrival of my father last night, most likely drunk and angry still, but I was expecting him to return. A small part of me thought maybe he would regret what he said to me, after spending a few hours away and calming down. I thought maybe he would get back, come into my room and kneel by my bed, disappointment in his eyes but saying he loved me none the less.

But none of these predictions were correct. There had been no drunken rows or apologies. There had been nothing. He hadn't come back, and it was all my fault.

I check my phone; one missed call from Ike but that was before the truth exploded. I decide that lying here dwelling in self hatred was doing nothing for my self esteem, so I pull myself up, throw on some clothes and head out of my bedroom door. It was nine, an acceptable time to go out for a walk, except not in my mothers eyes.

"Where are you going?" I hear her shrill tone as I head straight for the front door. I turn, seeing her stood with a frying pan in her hand, Ike's bewildered expression as he sat at the table with his waffles.

"Out." I reply, bluntly.

"No you're not." She stops me, placing the frying pan down. "You're grounded."

I freeze, my eyes fixated on her, before moving to an awkward Ike who tilts his head to look at his revision guide on the table.

"Why?" I dare to ask.

"Because of what you told me last night." She explains and I frown at her.

"You said you were alright with it." I recall.

"No I said you could stay living here." She corrects me. "And that I still loved you, I never said I was happy with it."

"You're grounding me? For being gay?" I check with her and see Ike look up suddenly. For fucks sake.

"What?" He stares at me, dropping his fork into a pool of syrup. "You're an asshole engineer?"

"...A what?" I divert my attention to him.

"A butt pirate." He states and I narrow my eyes. "A fudge packer."

"...Evidently." I shut him up, bemused by his terminology. "Mom, you can't-"

"No way!" Ike exclaims, interrupting me again. "You're a bender? So that's why dad left!"

"Stop experimenting with all your gay vocabulary." I glare at him.

"Can't refer to it as 'gay', that's an offensive term." He states.

"I didn't mean that..." I trail off. "Wait, _I'm_ being offensive?"

"Kyle you're grounded." Mom interrupts us. "That's the end of it, now go and do some revision in your room."

"...Grounded? For being gay?" I justify and she winces slightly at the word. "I don't know what you think is 'love', but it's not this."

 **Kenny PoV**

"Bebe, please." I hammer on the door, but also clinging on to it to prevent me from falling down. "I'm begging you, just talk to me-"

"Can't you read the sign?" The door flies open, and a tall, muscly man stares down at me. "It says, no sales. So take your... Half drunken whiskey and move on to the next house."

"I'm not selling." I pant, close to staggering into him. "I'm looking for Bebe."

"...Petunia!" He suddenly yells back into the house, beads of sweat appearing on his brow. "There's a kid here, asking for Bebe."

"That'll be Kenny." She mutters, her voice coming closer and he turns to me, anger suddenly flaring in his eyes.

"Kenny?" He barely has chance to say before I take a huge blow to the side of the head, which knocks me down onto the floor. My vision is blurred and my head was spinning, with a consistent buzz sounding from my left ear. I can hear her mothers slight squeak of shock which is then divulged by what seems to be satisfaction. I try to open my mouth to speak but a sharp ache is preventing it from doing so, as the salty taste of blood crawls from my jaw to my tongue. "You got my daughter pregnant?"

"You've done enough damage now Blaine." She says, warily, as I try to pull myself up. My daze subsided into a burst of fury, the sting of his metal fists still imprinted on my cheek. "Leave him."

"He's ruined her future." He snarls at me, as I stagger to my feet, head still spinning from a combination of alcohol or unexpected punches.

"Bebe's dad?" I assume, holding my hand to my face. "Funny, I've never seen you before."

"How is that funny?" He menaces and I dare to look him in the eye. What the fuck was I doing?

"Well... You're giving me a kickin' for ruining her future." I hesitantly slur. "But you haven't even been around to witness any of it."

I manage to withstand the next punch, which infuriates him even more, and without thinking I force myself towards him, swinging and missing before I am knocked down once again, hearing the clatter of one of my teeth on the tarmac beneath me, as the salty taste in my mouth increases. A sharp pang hits me in the stomach as he kicks me harshly, and again.

"Please." I beg him, wheezing and drooling blood onto the floor. I was scrunched up in a ball, tears streaming down my face, shards from the broken whiskey bottle wedged into my hand. This was it, this was how I was going to die.

"Dad stop!" I hear a familiar voice and I take one last blow to the stomach before a pair of cold hands land on my body. "Get off him."

"What're you protecting him for?" Blaine yells at Bebe, and my eyes adjust so that I can see him eyeing up her stomach warily. "Wouldn't you rather I give him a beating? The drunken bastard?"

"Violence isn't the answer." She retorts and it makes me feel extremely guilty. These were the morals that my son had to be taught; not to be like my dad, or Bebe's dad, or me. I wanted to teach him the right ways of life, to grow up being a fighter, but not in the ways I experienced.

I wanted to be a dad, and to do that, I needed help.

 **Cartman PoV**

Usually, if I was writing my morning announcements notes, I would be thoroughly enjoying myself. Especially with the knowledge I had gathered over the past few weeks, which I could deliver to the innocent younger years who were not on study break.

However it was beginning to feel like a struggle, I had no motivation, neither did I want to spill people's secrets, people I didn't even like, people who didn't like me, and had lead me to feel this way. I wander past Kyle's locker, still covered in red spray paint with homophobic insults written all over it. I'd love to drop him in shit, wind him up about it, but I knew it hadn't been him that wrote those things. Kyle wasn't someone who craves attention like that, especially when the rumours were getting closer and closer to the truth... He might be a nerdy, ginger, virginal Jewish rat bag, but he wasn't... All that bad.

What a relief no one could read my interior thoughts.

I enter the studio, where the morning announcements are usually read. My haven, the place I had built up and stripped back down again. The place I had convinced everyone Wendy killed the smurfs, the place Gordon Stoltski was shot, the place that so many secrets had been exposed.

I could turn on this microphone right now. I could tell the whole school that Bebe Stevens was pregnant, Kenny McCormick was a raging alcoholic, and the father of her baby. I could announce that Stan had depression and Wendy Testaburger had breast cancer, despite all the charity work. I could say karma was a bitch because once Wendy beat me up over it, or because Stan chose to join the goths and reminisce about pain. Or that it was inevitable this would happen to Bebe and Kenny because it was in the genes. I could sit here and say that I, Eric Cartman, of all people, had anorexia and that despite how much I pretended I hated Kyle, he hadn't written those things on his locker, but it didn't mean they weren't written all over his mind.

I could sit here and ruin even more lives, I could, if I wanted to, if it would make me feel better, like it had been for the duration of my school life.

"Students of South Park High." I cough slightly, as I switch the microphone on without thinking. "These are the morning announcements and _I_ am Eric Cartman... Now let's be honest; no one cares whether it's baked or boiled potatoes with lunch, or whether football is cancelled at lunch today because of the rain... Because you're all sat there thinking about something a lot bigger than that, something more serious. From a fall out with a friend, to a sick relative, maybe a pet just died. Most of you aren't even listening to me, well... I just wanted to say that this will be my last time reading the announcements, because, as of today, I will be resigning from this position."

I pause for a second, taking a deep breath and trying to come to terms with what I just said.

"OH THANK GOD." I hear Principal Victoria suddenly shout and I glare into the distance. Honestly, couldn't some people have a bit of respect?

"Finally, we did it, mmkay." I hear Mr Mackey high five her from the room next door.

Twats.

"So anyway, a new morning announcement reader will be being recruited, with my say obviously." I continue, ignoring the inconsiderate assholes behind me. "Naturally, no one can fill my shoes but I'm prepared to try and find the closest person to the position. Anyone can feel free to try out, at their own risk, unless they are Casey Miller because if I have to hear that little turd's voice again, I will slit my throat... Or if you're Jewish there's no trying out either... Or if you're Mexican... Or a nerd... Or if you're planning on purchasing Pokemon Sun or Moon before me. In fact you can only try out if you buy me the game... So yeah okay not everyone can try out but good luck anyway, this is Eric Cartman, off and out."

 **Stan PoV**

"Did you know?" Mrs Testaburger decides to break the silence, I'm staring down at my 3DS, losing all my races on Mario Kart, whilst she flicks through a magazine, also not focusing at all on the prospects of it. We were both completely distracted, this was just our excuse to not make conversation. Well, until now.

"Know what?" I look up at her, not bothering to press pause on my games console.

"That she had cancer." She puts it, bluntly. I blink at her for a few seconds and double check I am in a hospital.

"Evidently." I indicate to where we are sat. "Otherwise I don't think I'd be in a hospital."

"Are you going to screw her over again?" She diverts the subject and it shocks me slightly, it was very unlike her to use such forward language. "Because she can't take it, you can't keep changing your mind every now and then. She's sensitive, our Wendy, you need to take care of her-"

"And I will." I conclude, before she can finish her speech. "She means everything, I'm not going anywhere."

"Good." She finalises, sourly, studying me up and down with a pouty expression.

"...We all need to stick together, you know." I suddenly blurt out, my voice a lot softer, as she raises her head again. "We can't fight over her, it's not what she wants."

"And _you_ know what she wants?" She scoffs, and I look her in the eye.

"Yeah, she wants stability, she wants love, she wants you and her dad, and Bebe, and me." I tell her. "And she just wants to get better."

"...I'm not-" She begins, as the screech of wheels sounds from outside the door, we both turn instantly, to see a bed being pulled up the hallway, towards us.

"That was quick." I check the time, two o'clock, it was supposed to finish at three. "That must be a good sign, yeah?"

"Yeah..." She nods, clearly emotional as Wendy's bed is slotted into place. I kiss her forehead softly as her mom rushes up the the nurse. "How did it go? Did it go okay? Is she going to be alright? How come it took shorter than expected?"

"All questions will be answered when Wendy has woken up and is functioning alright." She informs her, and I stroke Wendy's jet black hair off her face. No, I needed to know now. I needed to know she was okay.

"Surely you can tell us something, just give us a yes or a no." I beg her, suddenly turning and she glances at me. "Just tell us... Please?"

* * *

 ** _Thanks for reading! What would you like Wendy's outcome to be? Have your say here and vote in the poll:_** /kinghanpargeter/status/744958700033576961


	47. Wendy's Fate

**_Your poll votes are in and it's 56% to 44%. So here's the outcome you chose!_**

* * *

 **Stan PoV**

"Surely you can tell us something, just give us a yes or a no." I beg her, suddenly turning and she glances at me. "Just tell us... Please?"

Her eyes dart from me to Wendy's mother, then to Wendy, lying lifeless in the bed.

"We're not supposed to say anything..." She sighs. "But... I will tell you that-"

She's interrupted by a sudden alarm that sounds in the corridor, she gives me a troubled glance, before dashing out of the room and I turn to hit my head against the wall in frustration. I'm pulled out of my daze by Wendy's mom. I turn to see Cartman, stood in the doorway.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, rudely, completely forgetting the good terms we had been on for the past few days.

"Told them I was Wendy's cousin." He shrugs.

"...Why?" I narrow my eyes. "So you can get some more breaking news for the morning announcements?"

"I've resigned actually." He says, bluntly and I don't bother trying to conceal the shock in my face.

"Yeah right." I scoff.

"It's true." He nods.

"But... That job is your life." I gush, as if I was in some sort of cheesy romance movie, where Cartman would suddenly look up, say 'you know what Stan? You're right' and leap up into the air, running off into the distance with determination to get his job back.

"Nah, I just liked taking the piss out of people." He says, bluntly.

"...Why the fuck are you here then?" I divert the subject.

"I wanted to check Wendy was alright." He shrugs, which I don't believe for a second. "What's the outcome?"

"We don't even know, so I don't think you're gonna find out anytime soon." I snap, glancing at Mrs Testaburger, who is sat next to Wendy's bedside, biting her fingernails.

"I thought we were trying to put this right, Stan." He puts his hands in his pockets, staring down at the floor, forlorn.

"This is a hospital, not 'Jerry Springer'." I point out. "Now get out."

"Stan-" He begins.

"I said get out!" I yell and he looks taken aback, hesitating before turning and leaving the room. I watch him go before returning to Wendy's bedside, my eyes intent on her fragile form.

 **Bebe PoV**

"Ah." Kenny winces, as I gently use a cloth to clean his bashed and bruised face.

"Sorry." I whisper, avoiding eye contact. Part of me wanted to kick him out of Wendy's house and let him deal with the pain, but I couldn't do that. I loved him and I'd never loved anyone before. Not even Clyde.

"Your dad seems like a _swell_ guy." Kenny tries to smile, sarcastically and I freeze at the word. 'Dad', that's what I had called him, without thinking. I hadn't seen him since I was ten years old, he didn't deserve the title 'dad'.

"He's not my dad." I reinforce, but gently and I see Kenny nod out of the corner of my eye. "He's some guy who banged my mom and couldn't face the consequences."

"What a pair hey?" He whispers, glancing down at my stomach. "Let's hope this one doesn't inherit the broken family gene from us both."

"That's not up to him." I hiss, quietly.

"Well then we'll make sure we don't." He continues. "We'll ensure we bring him up with love and security."

"Yeah right." I scoff, pausing to raise an eyebrow before going back to cleaning him up. "We have no money, no family to rely on. We live in a dirty, broken shed with no front door. We have no baby materials. Nothing. If he lives past the first few days I will be shocked."

"Don't talk like that." He begs.

"Well it's true!" I snap, and he winces as I poke at him hard, out of frustration. "Not to mention an alcoholic dad. Neither of us are very smart. What have we got? Really? Why did we even think we'd be able to do this? I should have aborted it whilst I still could. It'd be better off that way, wouldn't have known and I wouldn't have any ties to you what so ever. I could just leave you, without the guilt, and the conscience. I could still be living with my family, I would still be on the cheerleaders. Maybe you wouldn't even have started drinking. We could still be at the top, if we had only used a fucking condom."

"Or you and Clyde had used a condom." He points out, stopping me, mid-rant. "Then again if it's Clyde's then at least it'll come out having a bit of potential. Daddy dearest being a rapist aside, least it wouldn't be a waste of space like me-"

"Don't use that word." I stop him firmly.

"What? Space?" He narrows his eyes, testing me.

"...Ray..." I hesitate, closing my eyes briefly for a second. "Rapist."

"Well that's what he is." He insists and I feel terror rising inside of me. "I might be a lot of things but I'm not that. I actually care about you, Bebe. I love you."

I stare down at the floor, forcing the stinging in my eyes back, clenching the bloody cloth in my fist. He stops talking, focusing his gaze on me, his face falling, I could tell, even if I wasn't looking.

"Sorry..." He whispers, his words barely catching the air. "I'm so, so sorry. I genuinely am."

"I know." I sigh, forcing myself to look up at him, and the tears brimming in his eyes, the glazed shimmer within them, that was enough to prove it to me. We had both fucked up, badly, but we needed to stick together now.

"I'm gonna get help." He tells me, and I'm shocked. It takes me a few seconds to digest the words, before my head tilts to the side. "I promise, I'm going to get help, before the baby arrives."

He meant it, I could tell he understood, and he means it. I inhale a breath, unsure of what to say, before moving into his chest and letting him wrap his shaking arms around me. We were damaged, we were fucked up, but everything can be fixed, if you accept repair.

 **Kyle PoV**

The stinging dances up and down my chest, pain pulsating, boiling my blood as it bubbles to the surface. I tremble, lowering the shard of razor blade and staring down at my most recent artwork.

My skin was torn and ruined, waterfalls of red slowly seeping down my stomach, rippling and resting on the hem of my jeans. I clench my fist, screwing my face up before taking some deep breaths. Why? Why had I felt the need to do this yet again?

"Kyle, mom wants to know if you've got the-" Ike begins, bursting into my room and out of reflex I flip around, scanning the floor in panic, trying to find my hoodie. "Kyle?"

Fuck.

I bend down and whip my jacket off the floor, immediately pulling it over me and zipping it up. I turn to face him, arms protectively wrapped over my chest, trying to blank out the blinding pain.

"Got the what?" I try to divert his attention but he is staring down at my chest, his eyes wide. I look down and am horrified to see blood seeping through the fabric of my jacket. Obviously it would, my cuts are so deep, why did I think that would work? "I fell on something sharp." I babble, the words coming out rather high pitched, it was the best I could think of in the spur of the moment.

"On a razor blade?" His voice is panicked but I frown at him. Why would he say that?

"Huh? No, why..." I trail off as he points to the blade I had left on the edge of my bed, coated in blood.

"You're hurting yourself." He finally looks up at me, his expression puzzled.

"No, no I'm not." I deny, but the tension in my voice said it all. Ike was smart, nothing got past him.

"You are, you're doing it because..." He trails off, glancing at the door. I knew what he was about to do. "Mom!"

"Shut up." I force myself on to him, knocking him back against the wall and pinning him with my forearm. "You say nothing about this." I hiss in his face, his eyes wide with panic. "To no one."

"Mom!" He dares to continue, but more quietly.

"Tell mom, or tell anyone, and you're dead." I threaten him, keeping my voice low and shoving my grip further into his throat, so he whimpers. "This never happened Ike. You got that? HAVE YOU GOT THAT?"

"Yes." He nods his head, abruptly. "Ok Kyle, I won't."

"Good." I finalise, letting him go as he stares, terrified at me for a few seconds before running off. I collapse on my bed, unable to prevent the tears from falling. What was I turning into? This was my little brother, the one I had protected from getting a Bris, the one I wanted to save from his addiction to 'Cartman Brah', and now I was threatening him, pinning him against the wall?

I was slowly turning into someone I hated.

 **Wendy PoV**

My vision is blurred, I see nothing but hazy brightness. I feel around in my mouth, a sharp lump in my throat and a sense of dryness that was sickening me so much I was forced to swallow dry moisture. I feel a sensation in my shoulder, then my arms, then my fingers, and manage to move them slightly so that I can feel the roughness of a sheet beneath me. I move my other fingers, and differently, they caress a softer, much warmer substance. Skin.

I immediately faintly hear an eruption of voices, whispering and yelling my name. Jeez, anyone would think I had been in a coma for eight months, not under sedation for eight hours.

"...Stan..." I mumble, the word hard to produce, but I force it out of me. Just saying one word was like cycling up a mountain. It ached, it felt impossible. "...Shut... Up..."

"Wendy?" I see his face come into view as my eyes adjust a bit more. "Wendy? Are you okay? You've been asleep for a bit."

Wow, genius Stan, tell me something I don't know.

"Ugh..." I manage to groan, which I found a bit easier. "Don't... Don't make noises."

"Why?" He asks, instantly, clearly panicked.

"Because..." I wet my mouth slightly, pausing and trying to build up the strength. It was as if I had been asleep for one hundred years. "...You're a doughnut."

"Oh cheers." He laughs and I turn up the corners of my mouth to form a small smile. "Still managing to insult me then?"

I am about to respond with something witty before I think about the reason why I was in this bed. The surgery.

"Stan." I suddenly panic slightly, adrenaline giving me more strength. "Is it ok? Did everything go to plan?"

"We're waiting to hear from the nurse." He explains.

"Haven't you heard anything already?" I beg.

"No." He tells me. "They couldn't really tell us anything without you being conscious."

"But you must know something." I raise my voice slightly.

"Babe, calm down, it'll be ok." He reassures me. "Don't use all your strength now."

Why shouldn't I? I could be dead in six months.

I don't say this, but he can tell I'm thinking it. At that point the door swings open and my mother comes in, equipped with a team of doctors and nurses.

Shit.

I underestimated how scary this really was.

They knew my fate, they had it written there on a clipboard and they were all staring at me intently, I wasn't getting good vibes from this.

Before they can say anything I burst out into tears, fear drowning me. I'm hyperventilating, I can't breathe, panic is rising inside of me as I choke on my tears.

Stan is trying to console me, but I'm just working myself up more. I was about to be told I was going to die. I was seventeen years old, this was so unfair. There was so much I wanted to do and achieve. So many places I wanted to go, see. Now in this moment, it would all be ripped away from me.

"Wendy please calm down." Stan begs me, clearly upset by my outburst.

"Wendy, deep breaths ok?" One of the doctors tells me. "Just relax, breathe in and out."

It helped, once I focused on breathing and not on working myself up. I couldn't stop myself from shaking, but at least it reduced it. It was miraculous; the way breathing could make you feel so much better.

"Wendy, we've had the results of your operation." He informs me and I find Stan's hand, clenching it harder than expected. "And I'm pleased to tell you, it's gone to plan. We've managed to remove the lump in your breast and..."

But I zone out then, the state of shock and relief was too overwhelming. I look at Stan, who is laughing and virtually crying out of happiness. My mom and dad were holding each other and sobbing with joy. I hear the words 'chemo' and 'cancer' a few times so I know I'm not completely out of the woods.

But I was safe, for now.

This was a blessing.

Stan was right; I was going to be okay.

* * *

 _Please leave a review, it would mean a lot, just to let me know what you think and what you hope is coming up!xx_


	48. The Misconceptions of Being Gay

**The Misconceptions of Being Gay:**

 _ **Hey! This is a long chapter, tying up many loose ends as well as a bit of excitement for Kyle. There is also a lot of email/letter stuff I typed up to hopefully make it a bit more interesting. Nearing the end now, but I've still got a few chapters to go so I hope you enjoy this one! H x**_

 _ **(Just tried to post it and realised fanfiction won't accept the 'at' symbol on the keyboard, for use in emails, so naturally that has had to be changed so just imagine it is there!)**_

 **Wendy PoV**

"Okay, steady now." Stan guides me into the living room.

"I'm not blind, Stan." I remind him, as gently as possible although he was doing my head in.

"Hey! Look who's home!" Bebe hugs me, warmly. She looked as if she was about to burst now, I wouldn't be surprised if she was giving birth to a baby elephant. Then again, I suppose the baby came with all her and Kenny's baggage, which weighed it down quite a bit. "Kenny!"

"Hiya, how you feeling?" Kenny emerges from the kitchen at the sound of Bebe's voice. He had a huge bruise on his face and his arm in a sling but aside from that, he looked quite together in comparison to how he had been in the past few weeks.

"What happened to you?" I raise my eyebrow.

"At least you've shaved." Stan bumps his fist with his. "That's something new."

"Thanks dude." Kenny grins and I exchange a look with Bebe.

"We have your post." Bebe gathers it from the arm of the couch, handing it to me. "There's a lot of it."

"Didn't know so many people cared." Kenny winks.

"Most popular girl in the school, me." I flash Bebe a competitive smile and she shrugs. I rip open the first one and pull out a get well soon card from the Stotch's.

 _Dear Wendy,_

 _Awful news about your condition. Wishing you a safe and healthy recovery at such a young age._

 _All our love,_

 _Stephen and Linda xx_

 _AND MEE! Oh, and Butters :)_

Stan continues to talk about the soccer scores with Kenny, as Bebe collects up any dirty plates and cups in preparation for when my parents get back. I open one of the more formal ones and find a bank statement, which I throw straight into the trash can, before opening another one up.

 _Department of Children's Health_

 _Hells Pass Hospital, South Park_

 _Dear Miss Wendy Testaburger,_

 _Following your recent surgery at Hells Pass Hospital, we would like to offer our congratulations to you for undergoing a successful operation._

 _From here, we wish to invite you in for an additional consultation, to discuss your chemotherapy, on 17th June at 11:30am. Further to this, your next chemotherapy session will be on 8th July at 3pm, unfortunately this cannot be moved or altered as allocated slots are essential to attend. This will include an overnight stay to monitor reactions and blood pressure following this._

 _Aside from this, we wish you a safe recovery from your surgery, and recommend you take part in as little physical activity as possible for at least a week, to ensure the best possible healing process._

 _If you have any further questions, contact us on +1 763-895-0080, or prepare them for your consultation session._

 _Kind regards,_

 _Dr. Gary Melonshrine_

 _(Chief consultant)_

My heart sinks as I read it, too tired to really absorb any information at the moment, except one thing that clicks in my mind; 8th July.

"What's that, you've been looking at it ages?" Stan asks me, his voice less distant now after I had zoned it out for the past five minutes.

"Uh... A letter from the hospital." I shrug, casually, placing it down on the table nearby.

"What does it say?" Stan immediately sounds concerned.

"It's just telling me about upcoming dates and appointments." I tell him. "My next chemo session... Which is on the day of prom."

"What?" Bebe splutters and Stan's face falls. They knew how excited I had been for prom, ever since I was tiny, as had Bebe. We used to talk about it on the playground in fourth grade, and now it was so close, the date was imminent and suddenly it had been snatched away from me. It sounded petty, but it wasn't to me and Bebe, it was the second most important event next to our wedding day. "Will you make it to prom in time?"

"It's an overnight stay." I explain, trying to act like I didn't care. "Besides, even if it wasn't, I wouldn't be able to go; the sickness is a nightmare and you're sick for a few days afterwards."

"Well we can move it, surely?" Stan frowns, picking up the letter.

"It can't be moved." I point to the letter and he reads it twice over. "Forget about it guys, it doesn't matter anyway. It's just a stupid prom."

"Wendy..." Bebe sighs as I begin to walk off up the stairs. She was due on 30th June, so knowing her she would still be able to make prom. A selfish part of me now hoped she was late and had lots of stitches, or maybe they would have no one to look after the newborn for the evening. Why did I have to miss it for something that was not my fault at all, but my best friend still got to go yet it was her fault she didn't use a condom? Life is cruel sometimes.

 **Kyle PoV**

I stand outside the club, a club which on the outside looked like your typical teenage hangout, but on the inside was completely different. It was full of outcasts, people in the same situations as me. I double check the coast is clear before pushing open the double doors.

My ears are immediately filled with blaring dance music. I make my way up the marble stairs, push another door and find myself in a large room, equipped with a dance floor, disco lights and several tables, some are booths at the edge of the room and some are high tables closer to the dance floor. A long bar stands close to the door, with many guys drinking at it. Some people here looked about my age, maybe even a year or two younger. Others looked up to the age of about thirty, people who were more secure with themselves, who had come to terms with this.

The weird thing was, I wasn't really attracted to anyone at first glance, maybe this was a bad idea, maybe I was completely wrong about myself. I turn suddenly and take a few steps back towards the door before I am stopped by a nearby voice.

"Can I get you a drink?" I turn back around and see a boy who looked about a year or two older than me, sitting at the bar and sipping soda from his bottle. He had messy brown hair strewn across his forehead and dark eyes, which focus on me intently. I gulp, for fucks sake, why was he so good looking? Just as I was kidding myself as well...

"Uh... No, I was just..." I begin, staring warily around the club. No one was judging me, no one was staring, they were all just focusing on their own lives.

"Going?" He jumps off his stool, confidently coming towards me. "First time here? I remember that, the nerves, the anticipation. Don't worry, it goes away after a bit, once you realise everyone else is in the same boat."

"How did you know?" I ask him, somehow following him over to the bar and taking up the spare stool next to his.

"Me? I spend a lot of weekends here." He explains, pushing his hair to the side. He wasn't your stereotypical gay guy, he looked rather... Well, straight, your Stan Marsh kind of guy. Maybe that's why I was so instantly getting butterflies, which I was very quickly trying to kill off. "It's not just a gay club to me, it's a great hangout as well. A place to blow off some steam, meet new friends. Not everything has to be about sexuality."

"Right..." I mutter, embarrassed at the fact it was already to obvious to him that I was otherwise orientated. I suppose I was here, which was a big clue. The barman comes over and leans on the bar, expectantly. I couldn't wait until the day I was twenty one, when I could order a double vodka shot to make me feel a bit more confident. "Cola, please."

"Something tells me you've only just figured that out." The guy narrows his eyes at me.

"...What? That I wanted a cola?" I manage to joke and he grins at this. God, that made him more attractive, I glance awkwardly at the floor, not wanting to gaze at him for too long.

"Gay? Bi?" He questions, as the bar man passes me my drink and I offer him two dollars in return.

"I don't know really... I know I'm attracted to guys..." I shrug, finding it a lot easier to talk to him than anyone else I had discussed this with. "I suppose I don't have a label right now... What about you?"

"Noah." He holds his hand out to shake mine, which I accept, nervously.

"That's your orientation?" I frown and he grins again, which sets the butterflies free once more, against my will.

"No, it's my name." He smiles, taking a casual sip from his bottle. "Because I'm Noah, that's the only label I have... Personally I think they're dumb, no matter who we're attracted to, what we feel, what we like or don't like, who we support, regardless of religion, gender, sexuality, background... We're all human, yeah? Why label it?"

Wow.

I wonder whether he has practiced this speech, whether it's some sort of super effective chat up line. But the way he says it seems so genuine, like it's off the top of his head.

"That's exactly what I think." I admit, peering over my bottle at where he is looking at me, a deepness in his expression. "Except I don't think I could phrase it that well."

"I'm assuming your parents don't know you're here?" He asks me.

"Well... I have no clue where my dad is." I tell him. "And my mom grounded me so... I'm here thanks to the large window in my room which opens onto a flat roof."

"Ouch, why you grounded?" He pulls a face.

"...For being gay." I reveal and he almost spits his drink out.

"Wow..." He exclaims, coughing slightly. "That's some strict game your mom's playing there."

"Yep." I nod, sipping on my cola. "That's why my dad did a runner as well, he couldn't hack it. At least my mom let me stay put."

"You've told them then?" He checks, still with a look of sympathy on his face.

"Not out of choice..." I find myself telling him. "My 'friend' Craig thought it would be a good idea to phone them up."

"So you told this Craig then?" He gathers and I shake my head.

"Nope, I just got off with his boyfriend." I shrug and he raises his eyebrows, looking quite impressed. "The whole thing is just a circle of me fucking up and Chinese whispers. My friend Kenny clocked it the other week, someone... Wrote stuff on my lockers, the only person who doesn't know is... Well, Stan."

"You've lost me." He narrows his eyes and I realise how much I've babbled on. He seems genuinely interested, like he really cares. More so than anyone else I've told and I've known this Noah guy ten minutes. "Stan is?"

"Well..." A lump forms in my throat. Why did I have to mention Stan? "Stan's my old best friend... I suppose he still is now but he has his own baggage and it's all a big mess. We're still close, but yeah, he was my best friend for years and now-"

"You've fallen for him." He finishes my sentence and my eyes widen. I cough, awkwardly. What was wrong with me? Here I was, at a gay club, with an attractive guy who was actually interested in talking to me and all I could bang on about was Stan fucking Marsh. "It's okay, we've all been there. That's how a lot of us realise."

"So you did as well?" I question him.

"Zak McKenzie." He reminisces. "Star quarterback. I was friends with him about two months before I realised, it wasn't just friendship. I wanted to be around him all the time, I was what I thought was happy when I was with him. He gave me butterflies, he made me nervous... Then he got a girlfriend, a girl I actually encouraged him to be with to cover up how I felt. It broke my heart, I realised he would never feel the same way, he was as straight as they come."

"That's like Stan, except he has this girlfriend; Wendy, they've been together literally since elementary school." I explain, it felt less painful explaining it to him, maybe because he knew exactly how it felt. I was talking to someone who understood the pain and the hurt I had experienced these past few months. Someone who was making it better by the second. "They've broken up a few times but yeah, they're pretty strong. She's not very well at the moment either... So, I've figured I need to stop dreaming and try to move on... I suppose that's why I'm here."

"It's the best thing you can do." He assures me. "Just keep yourself busy, move on the best you can, focus on other things and eventually the pain will melt away. You'll forget about him, if you can allow him to forget about you."

"You mean, cut him out?" I frown, thinking of a life without Stan, it's all I can remember.

"High school senior?" He guesses again and I nod. "What college you going off to?"

"Colorado state, hopefully." I inform him. "Stan's going to Tufts and Wendy's hoping to go to Harvard so... They'll be close by, opposite side of the states to me though."

"She's intelligent then?" He raises his eyebrows.

"Oh yes." I scoff slightly. "Problem is, I don't know how badly her grades are gonna be affected by her illness."

"I gathered when you said she was sick that she had the flu or something." Noah says. "Is it more serious than that?"

"Cancer." I reply, bluntly and he looks shocked again, choking on his drink.

"Oh... Is she okay? I mean is she going to recover?" His eyes widen.

"Yeah, she had an operation a few days ago and it was successful so." I nod, managing a smile. I was so happy Wendy was alright and that she was going to recover, cancer was something I wouldn't wish upon anyone, ever, regardless of anything.

"That's good news then." He looks at me with a look of concern, before noticing I had finished my drink and turning to the barman. "Hey, Sam, another two of the same over here please."

"You know everyone's name here then?" I laugh.

"Yeah, apart from yours." He says, smoothly and I suddenly feel embarrassed. Shit, my name, I forgot that part.

"Oh... Sorry, it's Kyle." I splutter and he lets out a slight laugh, which makes me melt slightly inside as we're passed our drinks and I fumble in my pocket for another two dollars.

"Put that away, I'm getting these." Noah orders, flashing me a cheeky smile and handing over the money to Sam. "I meant to get you your first one but you beat me to it."

"Well now I owe you a drink." I shrug, without thinking and take an awkward sip from my bottle.

"I guess you do." He winks. "You'll have to buy me one sometime."

"Sometime?" I look up, suddenly, preventing myself from spraying him with my latest mouthful of cola.

"Yeah, will you be here next week?" He shoots me a hopeful look. My lack of response and dreamy gaze leads him to speak again. "Hey? Sam, you have a pen?" Sam chucks him one whilst socialising with another customer and Noah automatically pulls my arm towards him. His touch on my hand makes me flinch slightly and he immediately removes it, perhaps looking a little nervous himself for the first time. But all the same, he proceeds to jot down what seems to be his phone number on my arm. "Hey, I'd roll your shirt sleeves down when you get home though, bet your mother would ground you longer for that." He smiles, the cocky but flirtatious look on his face sending a wave of excitement through my body.

"Suppose, yeah." I speak slowly, but cooly, knowing that if I said too much I would mess up the chemistry that for some reason was going on right here. I keep my arm on the table for a few seconds, before using the other one to confidently grab the pen and write down my number on his arm. I can feel his gaze on my head as I do so. I had removed my hat for this event and my almost blonde locks felt like they were returning to my fiery red ones from the intensity of it. They lightened in the summer and thankfully remained that way a lot of the time, with just a tint of strawberry blonde incorporated.

"You were faster at returning that then you were your name." He licks his lips slightly, glancing down at where our arms remained on the surface of the bar, our fingers inches away from one another. "Should I feel honoured?"

"Definitely." I laugh and his fingers edge closer to mine. A spark of nerves shoot through me as our fingers interlink. He rubs his thumb softly over the flesh on the back of my hand, creating a tingly sensation before it stops on top of mine.

Fuck.

I couldn't believe what was happening. I felt scared but excited, I felt nervous but comfortable. He was making all my emotions collide and mix up inside my head, but in a good way, and there was only one other person who had ever been able to do that, and that was Stan.

 **Stan PoV**

I get home, collapsing on the couch and throwing the bag of ice cream and candy down on the floor. I try to understand what I had seen about an hour previous to this. How did I have no clue? I pull up my Google search history again, just to double check I was certain.

 ** _Dance East_**

 _Gay Club, Bar._

 _Denver, Colorado._

Gay club... Why had Kyle been going into a gay club? I was beyond confused, it had definitely been him, he hadn't had his hat on but when you've known someone all your life, you knew it was them, even if it was peering out from round the back of Walmart. I'm suddenly desperate to tell someone. I wasn't one to gossip, especially about things like this, but I felt guilty for not being there for Kyle if this was true. Of course it was true... It all made sense now; the locker, the weird behaviour, the lack of girlfriends, the virginity.

"Where've you been?" Kenny comes in, passing me a bottle of sparkling water, which I give him a weird look for. "Bebe's removed all alcohol from the refrigerator. Wendy's asleep by the way."

"I had three beers in there!" I exclaim and he shrugs, opening the cap and taking a dissatisfied gulp from it. "Anyway, I need to talk to you."

"You're pregnant?" He points at me, joking around but the serious look on my face shuts him up. "...So what do you need to talk about?"

"Kyle." I say, bluntly and he frowns for a second. "Our friend."

"Ohh! Yeah... Okay why do we have to talk about Kyle?" He asks, opening a bag of chips that I'd just bought for Wendy.

"I've just seen him, outside a gay club..." I reveal and the look on his face is surprisingly unfazed, as he munches on the potato chips. "Then he _went_ into the gay club... And _stayed_ in the gay club."

"...Right." He says, slowly and shiftily. "I mean... Wow, oh... Really?"

"You already knew?" A look of realisation fills my face. "How?"

"He told me..." He trails off, looking slightly awkward. "Well... I guessed."

"Why didn't he tell me?" I am disheartened by this. Kyle had told me everything since we were little. Granted, we had distanced a lot recently and I hadn't been there for him as much, but still...

"For a very appropriate reason." Kenny scoffs slightly, leaning back in his seat.

"...Which is?" I prompt, pulling him out of his daze.

"Oh... Nothing." He shakes his head, clearly not taking this situation seriously.

"Kenny!" I yell.

"Shh! You'll wake Wendy!" He responds.

"Kenny!" I pester.

"No!" He argues.

"Tell me!" I continue.

"He's in love with you! That's why!" He blurts out, immediately covering his mouth in shock. It takes a few seconds for the words to sink in, before the shock hits me as well, but ten times harder.

"What?" I splutter, beginning to laugh and he throws the bag of chips down onto the floor, causing them to spill out over the carpet. "Kenny... You're insane..." I take in the expression on his face and realise he isn't joking. My heart is pounding in my chest and I have so many questions they all muddle into one. "...How?"

"I really think you should discuss this with Kyle." Kenny waves his hand, looking uncomfortable.

"No, I think you should discuss this with me right now!" I practically yell. "How long? Why now? What... I'm so... What?"

"I don't know." Kenny shakes his head, staring at the floor.

"Tell me!" I shout at him, the frustration and confusion making me angry.

"I don't know Stan!" He bellows and the room falls silent, he was serious, I could tell. He also seemed suddenly deprived of drink and was fidgeting with his hands in an effort to fight the cold turkey. "I don't know, and that's the truth. I don't think anyone really knows. The only person who can tell you that, is Kyle."

 **Cartman PoV**

There was only one way to sort this out. We all needed to be clear with one another now, too many secrets were flying around. A year ago we were just as tight as we had always been, I wanted that back, I would give anything for it. Except for Kyle, but I suppose he could be invited along. After all, a tiny part of me, deep, deep down in my bitter soul might feel sorry for him... Actually no, I just wanted him to come for the banter.

 _ **To:**_ _stxn_the_man, testaburgerw, underthehood, beautyqueenbebe, kylethepaladin123_

 _ **Cc/Bcc, From:**_ _cartmanbrahofficial_

 _ **Subject:**_ _Meeting_

 _Dear friends (and Kyle),_

 _I've reserved therapy room E at Hells Pass hospital on Friday at 2pm. Stan and I would all like you to be there, it's very important and since he has done fuck all the past week even though originally it was his idea, I've had to organise it. You'll find out more on Friday, just make sure you're there._

 _Later,_

 _Cartman._

I glance over the freshly typed email one more time before pressing send. This would be an interesting event.

 **Bebe PoV**

I wake up in a particularly uncomfortable position, due to a large kicking sensation in my tummy. I groan before realising Wendy was asleep in the bed next to me, with Kenny lying in a sleeping bag on the floor of her bedroom, but Stan's was empty. Wendy's parents didn't seem to care one bit that they had suddenly inherited three more teenagers into their household.

I attempt to role over, but the weight from the stomach was weighing me down as if I was a stranded turtle. So instead, I reach for my phone, a notification already on the home screen.

 _00:00_

 _My Pregnancy App_

 _3 weeks until due date_

 _Your baby is now fully formed and is the shape of a small watermelon._

Fucking fantastic.

A small watermelon. In three weeks time, I'll be pushing a watermelon out of my vagina. That's really started my morning off with a big bang.

I type my passcode in and noticing I have no text messages, snapchats or voicemails, I go straight to my email. It didn't surprise me anymore. A year ago though if it had been this way I would have kicked off about the fact no one had tried to contact me.

 _Mailboxes All Inboxes Edit_

 ** _• Kenny McCormick_**

 _Pregnancy stuff_

 _Found some more info that you might want to_

 _look t_ _hrough,_ _there's also some stuff on..._

 ** _• Hells Pass Hospital_**

 _Upcoming 36 week scan_

 _Dear Miss Bebe Stevens,_

 _Just a notification to remind you of your..._

 ** _• Eric Cartman_**

 _Meeting_

 _Dear friends (and Kyle),_

 _I've reserved therapy room E at Hells Pass..._

 ** _• OMG Fashion_**

 _(No subject)_

 _Ready for the summer? Browse our_

 _new range of summer tank tops in the brand..._

I groan, scanning Kenny's email about nutrition and exercise at 36 weeks. I delete the fashion email without even opening it, there was no chance I'd be fitting into any summer tank tops anytime soon. Proceeding to open the email from the hospital, I notice the one below it. Eric Cartman? Why was Cartman emailing me?

 _ **To:**_ _stxn_the_man, testaburgerw, underthehood, beautyqueenbebe, kylethepaladin123_

 _ **Cc/Bcc, From:**_ _cartmanbrahofficial_

 _ **Subject:**_ _Meeting_

 _Dear friends (and Kyle),_

 _I've reserved therapy room E at Hells Pass hospital on Friday at 2pm. Stan and I would all like you to be there, it's very important and since he has done fuck all the past week even though originally it was his idea, I've had to organise it. You'll find out more on Friday, just make sure you're there._

 _Later,_

 _Cartman._

"Meeting?" I suddenly say out loud and Kenny stirs slightly, opening his eyes and tilting his head to see I was awake.

"Morning to you too babe, how's my son today?" He smiles in a croaky voice, which if I wasn't so confused, I would find adorable.

"I said meeting." I correct him, pointing to my phone. "Cartman's sent it to all of us."

"Who's all of us?" I notice Wendy yawn and grumble slightly, making me feel bad for waking her.

"Me, you two, Stan and Kyle." I frown, scanning the email. "It says he's reserved therapy room E for Friday."

"What's _therapy room E_?" Kenny scoffs and I look at him, noticing the sweat lining his brow. He was trying so hard not to have a drink for mine and he baby's sakes, but I could see it was taking its toll on him.

"It's in Hells Pass." Wendy explains, rolling over. "It's the room that the doctors used to tell my parents I had breast cancer."

"...Cheery." Kenny mutters. "Why does Eric Cartman want us to go there?"

"Probably some set up for his morning announcements." Wendy groans. "I won't be attending."

"He doesn't do the morning announcements anymore, he 'resigned'." Kenny uses his fingers to create air quotations in order to mock him.

"Woah you might want to rethink that, Wendy." I ignore Kenny and read the email again. "Stan and I would all like you to be there, it's very important and since he has done fuck all the past week even though originally it was his idea, I've had to organise it."

"Stan?" Wendy frowns. "Why has Stan been teaming up with Cartman?"

"Speaking of which..." Kenny speaks up. "Where is Stan?"

 **Stan PoV**

I practically march down the corridors of South Park High. Our year were still on study leave, so there was no one around to really socialise with, not that it was my priority. I peer into the hall as I walk past and see a group of Juniors sitting their end of year exams now we were off, before taking a left and coming face to face with the principal's door. I had no clue what I was going to say, I was just aware I had woken up at 7am and driven straight here.

"Come in." I hear Principal Victoria say after I pound on the door. I push it open, and automatically take a seat in front of her desk. She continues to scribble something down on her paper before peering up at me over her glasses. "Stan Marsh, what can I do for you?"

"Prom." I pronounce the word clearly and rather aggressively, which causes her to blink a few times before taking her cue to talk again.

"Well if you wanted me to be your date..." She laughs slightly at her own joke, which doesn't amuse me. "I would have thought you'd be taking Wendy?"

"I would have thought that too." I respond, bluntly. "But I can't, because she has her final round of chemotherapy that day, fingers crossed."

"Oh gosh, that's awful." She suddenly looks bad about laughing previously to this. The school had only been informed a few weeks back of Wendy's condition and it had come to a shock to them as well. She was their highest achieving student, which was probably more of a disappointment to them, the selfish idiots. "I'm really sorry Stan. She can still make the prom in the evening though, can't she?"

"No. It's an overnight stay." I explain and she fumbles with the zipper on her pencil case awkwardly. "She's gonna be suffering from sickness and they have to keep her in for tests."

"Oh, the poor thing, she was really looking forward to it as well." She sighs, sympathetically, waiting a few seconds before broaching the next question. "So have you come to refund her ticket?"

"...What?" I virtually splutter, having to replay her question through my head a few times to properly process it. "...Refund her ticket? She's got breast cancer, she's just had a major operation... And you think she cares about the thirty dollar ticket for prom? She wants to go to prom! She's waited for it her whole life, so no, I don't want to refund her fucking ticket!"

"Ok, calm down." She hushes me, looking taken aback, which aggravates me further. "I'm sorry Stan, but I really don't think there's anything I can-"

"Move it!" I yell, slamming my fist on the table. I was more angry than I thought I was, but from the bombshell Kenny dropped on me last night and from the two weeks I had spent at the side of Wendy's hospital bed, I had a lot of stress built up.

"I... I can't move it, Stan." She stutters. "The venue is booked, students have hired transport for that date, hair and make-up appointments, there's no way we could move it at such short notice."

"And that's important?" I virtually spit at her. "Wendy wants to go to this prom, so move it!"

"Bottom line is Stan, is a prom really that important to her?" She speaks calmly. "It's just a party, surely her overcoming cancer comes first."

"Well of course it comes first!" I bang my fist on the table again. "But she's been to hell and back the last few months, she deserves to have a night which she can actually enjoy. Please, I'm begging you, please just think about it."

"...It's not going to happen Stan." She sighs, a look of upset and sympathy in her expression. "I really can't move it, not when it's in a few weeks. It would cost a fortune and everything would have to be rearranged. I'm so sorry, I really am."

"Yeah. Course you are." I nod, pushing tears back as I kick the chair in anger and storm out of the door, full of rage as I pelt down the corridors. I pass Kyle's locker and give it another sharp kick, and again, and again. It creates a harsh dent in the graffiti smeared door.

He could go to hell, they could all go to hell. The only person who mattered to me right now, was Wendy.

* * *

 _ **Please leave a review and let me know what you thought of this chapter and if you like this idea of Kyle (partly inspired by the character of Aaron in Emmerdale) meeting Noah. I'm not too into OTP's, the only one I've created and used as a central character was Hope in Everything Changes but obviously let me know whether you want that plotline continued or not, there can be two different outcomes! Thanks again and please review. H x**_


	49. A Secret Halved Is A Secret Shared

_**A/N: Concerned I'm maybe grouping Stan, Kenny, Wendy and Bebe together a bit and leaving Kyle and Cartman out so hopefully this upcoming plot will bind them all back together again. Enjoy!**_

 **A Secret Halved is a Secret Shared**

 **Kyle PoV**

My eye opens a fraction before I hear a quiet creak from the door. Immediately closing it again, I breathe softly, waiting for my mom to check I was still obeying the rules before leaving. But instead, I hear quiet footsteps coming towards me, before a slightly wet kiss is placed on my forehead and the words 'I love you' are whispered in my ear. Then, within seconds, she was gone again. I wait a few more, to double check the coast was clear, before rolling over and pulling my phone off the side, the brightness of its screen startling me. I blink at the home screen for a few seconds. It was a picture of Stan, Cartman, Kenny and I, on summer break last year, when we had convinced Craig and Tweek that zip-lining would be fun so we could take their tickets to the Raging Pussies concert. We were smiling, Cartman with a finger up in our selfie, but we all looked so happy...

I immediately unlock my phone, unsure as to why I still had this saved as my wallpaper. That was the past and it was over now, as much as I missed it and as much as it hurt. Everything has to come to an end.

 _Compose New Message:_

 _Noah:_

 _Last night was good, thank you for making me feel so welcome x_

Scrap that, it made me sound like I'd joined some kind of cult.

 _Compose New Message:_

 _Noah:_

 _Nice meeting you last night, hopefully do it again?x_

Or was that too eager? Maybe he had been kidding about everything he said last night, he probably said it to every new guy who was in there.

 _Compose New Message:_

 _Noah:_

 _Cheers for last night dude, enjoyed it._

That was far too friendly.

 _Compose New Message:_

 _Noah:_

 _Hey it's Kyle, hope you had fun last night, I know I did. Thanks for the drink as well, I'll hold you to that offer of buying you one back ;) xxx_

No. Too flirty, the wink face had to go. Plus how many kisses did I add? Did I put the friendly one kiss? But then again I never really put kisses... Or go ahead and go straight for three... Or would that seem too forward? Two, that was safe, that was in the middle.

 _Compose New Message:_

 _Noah:_

 _Hi it's Kyle, cheers for last night, really enjoyed it. Keep in contact xx_

I scan it over about twenty times before plucking up the courage to send it. My heart immediately starts to pound when I do. I had butterflies again. He probably wouldn't even care? He was probably in another guy's bed right now. In fact, I left quite early, he probably got drunk and forgot everything. Or he was just pretending to like me and was just trying to be nice...

 _New Message:_

 _Noah:_

 _I already saved your name in my phone, you don't need to tell me ;) I had a great night, I'll have to hold you to that offer if you're up for it?xxx_

Wow. A wink face three kisses and an instant reply... Was I really Kyle Broflovski?

 **Kenny PoV**

I traipse along the sidewalk, kicking a rock ahead of me and trying not to lose it in the snow. A meeting with Cartman? At Hells Pass? Something weird was going on here...

I take a gamble and kick the rock sharply ahead of me, before it lands at the base of someone's shoe. I look up and see a familiar but aggravated face staring straight at me.

"Dude, where've you been?" I frown, forgetting about the rock all of a sudden. "Wendy's looking for you."

"I've been at school." Stan replies, bluntly, it does confuse me slightly, but I dodge past it as I have more important questions on my mind.

"What's this about you and Cartman arranging a meeting?" I divert and it's his turn to frown then.

"Meeting?" He repeats.

"Check your inbox, we were all cc'd into it." I explain and he pulls out his phone unenthusiastically. "Says something about how he discussed it with you."

"Oh..." He trails off after reading the email. "Shit I didn't know he would actually go through with that."

"Through with what?" I crack a laugh but he just shrugs, sorrowfully. "And what is up with you? You seem all... Sad and stuff."

"Nice of you to notice." He flashes me a sarcastic smile. I am about to follow him up on that witty remark before he asks me another question. "Where you going? Skeeters isn't open at this time in the morning."

"...I'm going home." I try to shake off his dig. "Need to get some stuff."

"Stuff?" He screws his nose up. "What stuff? The only possessions in your house are dust and empty Pabst Blue Ribbon cans."

"Cute..." I roll my eyes, already sick of his negativity. "If you're gonna be all depressive I'll catch you later." I walk around him after receiving no reply and carry on down the street. I do peer round my shoulder and notice him standing glued to the sidewalk, staring down into the snow and part of me urges myself to go back. But I don't, I have bigger problems than Stan Marsh's hormones... And one of them was sitting on my doorstep.

"Oi! Homeless guy!" I shout, nearing my house and ignoring the burned down remnants of Soda Sopa which still surround it. "Shift your ass, this is my home."

"Your home?" He looks up at my presence and I try to ignore the fact he seemed to be eating a dead mouse. "I thought it was just some run down shed?"

"Yeah well it's not, clearly, so get lost." I argue and he immediately gathers his sleeping back and half eaten rodent, slipping off down the street. I enter the house with no door, wincing immediately at the stench inside. It was a mixture of alcoholic fumes, dust and mould, which made me want to gag. But not as much as the sight I then saw lying on my couch.

"...Dad?" I say it in a more surprised tone than anticipated. I hadn't seen him in months and to come home to his drunken figure, sprawled out on the couch was not something I had missed. He didn't stir at the title, so I try a different approach. "Stewart McCormick!" I yell in his ear and in his sleep he immediately lashes out, his fist colliding with my already bruised face, causing a cascade of oozing blood to pour from my nose.

"Kenny?" He mumbles, gripping his head which has his torn baseball cap precariously balanced on top. How he hasn't lost that by now, I didn't know. "Well, wha'dda fuck are you doin' here?"

"I've come back to collect Karen's doll and blanket, she's saying at Tasha's house for a while." I explain, he seems completely oblivious to the fact he has just smashed me in the face and in an urge to try and stop the bleeding, I rip off a corner of the couch material, squeamish at the layer of maggots and flies that are eating away at the inside.

"Well why in't she stayin' here?" He grumbles.

"Because it's a shit hole!" I regretfully use the material to wipe my throbbing nose.

"It's awright?" He mutters and I stand back slightly.

"There's a nest of bugs living inside our couch!" I exclaim, as they begin to roll out onto the stained carpet. The corner of the couch breaks off weakly and lands with a soft thud on the floor, maggots sprawling out everywhere. "Moms in prison, by the way."

"Cool." He wipes his moustache before trying to turn the TV on and realising it hasn't worked for years. "What for?"

"Child neglect." I try to grab a morsel of sympathy but he just shrugs.

"I might try it, least I get warm meals." He points out and I shake my head disapprovingly at him before heading upstairs to grab Karen's things. I return down to find him now lying, drooling on the floor, head in the puddle of maggots. I debate checking his pulse before remembering I really couldn't give a shit, and kick him slightly before leaving.

If there was anything that was going to put me off the drink. It was him.

 **Wendy PoV**

I try Stan once more, proceeding to recite his voicemail once it rang out, I knew it off by heart now. Giving up on that, I turn and finally acknowledge Bebe's groans from the couch.

"What are you moaning about?" I sigh, taking a seat in the chair next to her.

"I'm so uncomfortable." She grumbles, shifting in her seat and trying to find a comfortable position. "Argh." She whines, glaring at her tummy. "Get out! Get out, get out, get out!"

"That's something you've never said before." I mutter, hoping she didn't hear it, but she does and she throws a pillow sharply at my head. "Ow! I'm fragile, you know!"

"Yeah you'll be even more fragile in a minute." She menaces and my eyes widen. "I'm so fed up of being fat and uncomfortable and spotty and hungry and not being able to poop."

"Kenny's a lucky guy." I scoff, tapping my fingernails on my phone screen. Where the hell was Stan?

"If he wasn't a skint alcoholic." Bebe mutters before letting out a loud groan again.

"You sure you're not in labour?" I double check, looking at her warily.

"You'd know about it if I was." She jibes, and I consider making a comment about how I dreaded to think what that would be like, before the front door opens and Stan walks in, shoulders drooping with a sad look on his face.

"Where the hell have you been?" I stand up, trying not to sound too hysterical and it's his appearance which suddenly reminds me. "Fuck, was it counselling? I'm so sorry, I kept calling you, I must have been a right pain."

"Why do you need counselling?" Bebe chimes in and I feel my heart stop beating for a second. How could I even forget she was there? "For having Wendy as a girlfriend? Fair enough."

"For depression." He says it so casually and uncaringly even Bebe doesn't look too surprised. "Anyway, I've been at the school."

"...Why've you been at school?" I frown.

"Why do you have depression?" Bebe questions and I glare at her. "Well like is it actual depression? Or just when people say they have depression, because they feel a bit sad, y'know?"

"Go breast feed a teddy bear!" I yell at her, shutting her up. I was glad it wasn't Cartman I had said that remark to, because it was a poor choice of wording given the circumstances and I'm sure he would have many comebacks to that. "Stan?"

"I was trying to get the prom moved, so you could still attend..." He looks at me sadly and I feel my heart sink and lift at the same time. I don't know what to say, I knew it hadn't worked, I didn't expect it to. But the fact he had tried to do something that sweet, when he knew how much it meant to me, it was everything.

"Sweetie..." I trail off, going over to him and placing a hand on his face before lightly kissing him on the lips.

"They wouldn't let me." He sighs. "So I'm gonna go take my suit back today. Do you have any idea where the receipt is? I think I put it in the shoe box actually-"

"Why would you take your suit back?" I stop him and he looks as if he doesn't understand the question.

"Well, if I'm not going to prom then, I don't really want the suit." He points out, as if it was obvious.

"Stan, you're going to prom." I reply, firmly.

"No... I'll be at the hospital with you." He cracks a slight laugh. "Why would I go to prom?"

"Because it's the last night you're gonna be with your friends!" I exclaim. "Kenny and Kyle, even Cartman, you've been best friends from day one, prom will be the night you say goodbye before college."

"Well that's a load of shit." He practically snorts. "It might be like that in cheesy American comedy films. None of which the characters are undergoing chemo, or are nine months pregnant, alcoholic, gay, anorexic or depressed. I can meet up with them anytime for about a week afterwards."

"There's quite a few films where people are gay to be honest." Bebe points out and I blank her.

"Stan, we've got the rest of our lives together, we're both moving to Boston, it's the other side of the states." I remind him and it scares myself. "You won't just be able to pop over to Kyle's to play guitar hero or play Lord of the Rings in the street or buy Kenny a milkshake at Shakey's whenever you have to vent about relationships."

"So what difference is one night gonna make?" He shrugs, sadly. "It's gonna happen, we're all moving on. Our childhood is over Wendy. No more questioning what Bebe's boobs are at the age of eight, or stories about killing smurfs, or playing games about rescuing Kyle's brother from aliens or placing bets with Cartman about crapping out of his mouth or idolising Kenny for running round town in a cape and underwear pulled up over his pants. No more adventures or singing songs about a Christmas piece of crap, or trying to make it as a boy band, or flooding towns by breaking a beaver dam or playing ninjas on top of Soda Sopa and not realising we seemed part of Isis or rebelling against our parents when they try to take our favourite TV show off the air. It's done, that's it and there's nothing we can do in the next few weeks to bring that back."

He storms off upstairs, leaving my mouth hanging open. I debate going after him, but he didn't seem in the mood to talk. Only Stan Marsh could recall and recite such a long and emotional paragraph off the top of his head. I think it had hit both me and Bebe hard, because she appeared to have finally shut her face.

"...Wait, who's gay?" She suddenly pipes up and I turn to glare at her.

Or not.

 **Cartman POV**

"Eric, you used to love mashed potatoes." Mom sighs sadly as she watches me pull a face at it. Not a grumpy or stubborn face, but an expression which was desperate to not be force fed. I felt sick looking at it, my stomach churned, it just made me feel like I was going to pass out again.

"At least he ate one chicken nugget." My therapy worker negotiates, noting it down in her file. I did not appreciate her holding the fork in front of her face, she treated me like I was five. I was pretty sure that wasn't the way to make an anorexic teenager eat, if anything, it made me want to grab it from her and gouge out her eyeball with it. "Shall we try him with some strawberries? He ate a few of those last time?"

"I am here." I practically snort as my mom nods enthusiastically. "Like I can hear you talking about me."

"Eric, would you like some strawberries?" My therapy worker leans towards me, so I can smell the sourness of her breath. She had totally disregarded anything I just said, still treating me like a kindergartener. "We'll try him with some, what's the worst that can happen?"

"I'm full." I attempt to tell them as she stands up and gets a carton of strawberries out the fridge, placing them on the table in front of me.

"Try a strawberry Eric." My therapy worker offers, picking one up by the stem as if I couldn't even do that myself. When I stare at her blankly, she pops it in her own mouth and rubs her tummy as if I was now deaf. "Mmmm." She exaggerates, offering me another one, like I was a baby about to imitate her.

"I don't want a fucking strawberry!" I yell, slamming my fist down on the table and they jump about in the carton, some of them spilling out onto the table cloth.

"Okay calm down Eric." Mom soothes me and I push myself back in my chair, the screeching of its legs against the tiles being the only noise in the kitchen.

"No. Mom you can fuck off." I snap before turning to the other woman. "And you can get the fuck out of my house. Go on, no wages for you, go harass some other poor soul and treat them like they're completely handicapped."

I storm out of the room and upstairs, slamming my bedroom door to make an impact. I try clicking the TV on but it can't drown out the noise from downstairs.

"I'm sorry he reacted in such a bad way." I hear my mom apologise. "Please don't give up on us, we need you."

For fucks sake, no we didn't need that ugly witch. Why did mom always turn to someone else for help, she could never deal with anything on her own. She wasn't capable of being a mother.

"Of course not, I've seen cases worse than this, I assure you." She responds, her voice hollow in the quiet house. "I'm not going to give up like all those nannies did all those years back."

Maybe mom was hoping to bang this one too, just like she was with the dog whisperer dickhead. I focus my eyes warily on some re-run of Terrance and Phillip. Why was I ever so obsessed with this show? We all were, we thought it was God's gift, so much so that we would skive off school to go watch it. It was a pile of shit, just two Canadian's farting on one another.

I wanted to go back to when I had no worries in the world. Scrap that, when the only worries in the world were missing an episode of Terrance and Phillip or not getting our Teiko digital sports watch delivered straight away.

"Hun, I need to talk to you, it's really important." Mom knocks on my door.

"Go away, mah." I respond, bluntly, but she opens the door anyway.

"Eric." She sits down on my bed, flattening out her apron that covers her skirt. "We need to sort this eating thing, you're supposed to be moving to Seattle in a matter of weeks for college. I can't let you go if you can't eat a full meal."

"I'm fucking trying!" I retort and she doesn't actually look surprised at my reaction. "At least I ate something at dinner, that's an improvement! Or at least it is to me."

"You can't keep being mean to Julie." She continues. Julie, that was that bitches name. Well she wouldn't be receiving any fruit baskets any time soon. "Remember poor super nanny? You put her in a mental asylum for two years!"

"Sweet." I mutter, eyeing up where one of my filthy comics was wedged between my TV and book shelf. I so needed to jack off right now, having my mother in here was just an inconvenience.

"Maybe we could find you a nice girl?" She suggests, as if reading my mind and I give her a weird look.

"What's that got to do with anything?" I pull a face.

"Well it might take your mind off things, you know. Plus, she could help you learn to love yourself." She explains and I splutter through laughter slightly. "What about that Lisa Burger? She seems like your type."

"Lisa Burger is fat and ugly!" I exclaim and my mom shoots me a glare before standing up.

"See, that is exactly the attitude which put _you_ in this position!" She suddenly yells at me. "Judging people for their appearance! You're so disrespectful! You'd have thought your illness would have taught you something!"

"But... Meem..." I whine, slightly hurt. "You always said I was just big boned."

"Yes well now you're only bones Eric!" She continues to shout, bursting into tears. "You're just skin and bones! You just don't seem like my little boy anymore!"

"Yeah well maybe I'm not!" I stand up, and the room falls silent. "Mom, I'm going off to college in a month. I'm moving hundreds of miles away from here. South Park is gonna be a fond but distant memory, for me and all of my friends. But you've gotta realise, we're all moving on, we won't be here anymore. You can't baby me for much longer. Yeah at first I took advantage of it, but now I've realised we've all grown up, we've all got our own problems and our own futures. Learn to deal with it mom... I know I am."

 **Stan POV**

"I'm so pathetic, I just shouted at her, for no reason. She was only trying to be nice, plus she's only just got out of hospital... What sort of a boyfriend am I?" I scrunch Douglas' bed sheets between my fingers before letting it go. We were both sat on his bed, cross legged, like a bunch of sixth grade school girls.

"You're just having a down day, Stan." He reassures me. "Whenever something doesn't go your way, you take it personally and depression has a cruel effect of making it seem a million times worse than it is. It's not your fault, at all."

"I just... I don't want to go to prom if she's not there." I sigh, exasperatedly. "What's the point? She's my girlfriend."

"Like she said, to create your final few memories with your friends. They've been there from day one, literally, Stan. Wendy's right, you've got a whole future with her, there's no breaking you two now." He explains. "Take this night to remember your childhood, and seal it off, its the goodbye of all goodbyes, her parents will be with her at the hospital."

"Are you taking Emily?" I divert the subject, kind of annoyed he was taking Wendy's side. "To prom I mean."

"I'm not going to prom." He laughs slightly, as if it was obvious and my eyes narrow.

"Why not?" I inquire.

"Because nobody knows me." He admits, casually. "There's three people in the year tops who knew my name before everything kicked off this past year. I'm not you, I'm not Stan Marsh, or Kyle Broflovski or Kenny McCormick or Eric Cartman. The ones who everyone knows, the popular ones who are always front and centre... No offence... There's really no point in me going to prom, I have nothing to celebrate but bad memories. Being bullied, orphaned and lonely..." He trails off, realising he wasn't making my 'down day' any better. "But you, you're a massive part of the school Stan. In fact, you for make the grade. You have since the beginning. If I wasn't for you, our grade would just consist of Craig's monotone, Jimmy's jokes and we'd all still be in fourth grade because no one would have the balls to slate Mr Garrison when he used to bang on about Courtney Love and hating pretty much any race, religion or life choice back in elementary school."

"It doesn't matter how much you blended into the shadows..." I shake my head at him. "It doesn't matter how many people know your name, or how big a part you play in everyone's lives. These last few weeks are about everyone. However big or little their contribution was. Without everyone, South Park wouldn't be what it is today and it wouldn't be what it has always been. Our grade wouldn't be the same, our lives wouldn't be the same. We need everyone there on that night... To say goodbye."

 **Kyle PoV**

"Morning bubby." Mom enters the room and I check the clock, confused.

"It's 2pm." I point out and she just shrugs.

"I haven't seen you all day." She tells me, opening the door of the fridge. "I need to go food shopping... We've got barely anything left..."

"And let me guess, you're not gonna go because I can't be trusted to stay here on my own. Just in case I run away from home or invite some dashing young _boy_ back to sleep in my bedroom." I take great pleasure and seeing her flinch at the gender pronoun. She looks physically sick for a few seconds and I roll my eyes. "Do I really repulse you that much?"

"You don't repulse me at all Kyle!" She exclaims. "I just... I just wish you could find a nice girl, like that Rebecca, or... What was her name? That um... Oh yes that Lesley girl."

"She was an ad." I put, bluntly. "She plotted against out town and tried to destroy it."

"Don't be sexist Kyle." She scolds and closes the fridge door. "Just because you think you're into boys, doesn't mean you can be sexist."

"I wasn't being sexist!" I retort. "And I don't _'think'_ I'm into boys. I am into boys. I wish I wasn't mom, I've prayed so many nights to really honestly beg I wasn't. But I am and I can't change that! I can't just pretend I'm something I'm not!"

"...And you're definitely not attracted to girls?" She sighs, gently, almost begging me. "You could be one of those bisexuals."

"I don't know..." I shake my head, leaning up against the kitchen counter and daring to look her in the eye. "I thought I was... But, I just don't feel that way. Like I do with... Like I do with Stan."

"Stan." The word falls off her tongue. "Oh... Stan."

A look of realisation flashes across her face.

"Mom... Remember when you and dad first met? Remember the sparks and the constant urge to be together. When you got that warm feeling inside whenever you see him. No, like sparks were erupting inside you and it made you so... Excited and nervous. The reluctance to say goodbye at the end of the day. The emptiness you felt when he did?" I recall, my heart sinking slightly as I said it. "Then you would go home and lie on your bed and just smile... Except I don't, I come back and cry, listening to songs which we both liked, which makes me cry more..."

"No." She frowns slightly as I trail off. "Because I didn't even like your dad at first, our parents wanted us together. Then in the end we thought 'fuck it, we're both Jewish, why not?'"

"Romantic..." I drone, flashing her a sarcastic smile and attempt to walk away before she stops me.

"But I can imagine how that must feel, because it felt like that when I was your age and fell for a girl in my class." She admits and I turn, my eyes widening. "At that time it feels like everything or nothing, like your life depends on it. You think about them all the time, every song you play, every night you lie in bed, you imagine what it would be like if life could be simple enough to grant your wish. Then you also get swamped in the guilt, because you know you're not supposed to feel that way, and it's not natural and worst of all, they will never ever feel that way about you, not because you're less popular or they have a girlfriend or boyfriend. But because they're straight and you're not. That's one of the hardest things to ever experience. That's true heartbreak, when you cry every night, punching your bed and hating yourself for feeling how everyone else is telling you, you shouldn't."

"Mom..." I hesitate, trying to process the fact that she had just summed everything up. "I..."

"I'm sorry Kyle." She shrugs. "I just didn't want you to go through that, I thought I'd worked to try and make sure you never ever felt that way and to think you do... I hate myself for it and I hate the fact my parents hated me for it. I wasn't a strong as you, I was told to be something I wasn't and over time I began to love your father and now, yeah I do, that girl is in the past, I hardly even think about her. But occasionally a song will come on or I'll stumble across a quote and she will pop into my head. I wonder what she's doing now, if she's married, what job she has, if she has her own children... Kyle... I'm so sorry... Oh I'm sorry I've been such a witch."

I couldn't quite believe what I had just heard and I stand there, completely frozen, confusion fizzling inside me.

"It's ok." I manage to utter, and we stand staring at each other for a few seconds, before she leans forward to give me a hug.

I completely forget for a second, too wrapped up in shock and stupidity, I let her hug me.

"Ah..." I suddenly yelp, a sharp sting rippling through my skin as her body collides with mine. She immediately moves backwards, worry on her face and I try to cover it up by smiling, but the pain in my expression gives it away.

"What's the matter?" She looks into my eyes before hers move down to the hem of my t-shirt. She waits for me to respond, but I struggle to find an excuse. She reaches out and lifts my t-shirt hesitantly.

I stand there and let her do it. Clenching my fist in agony. Both physically and mentally. She doesn't say anything for a while, she just stares, shocked at the bloody scars that coat my stomach. They were scabbing over now, I hadn't harmed in a few days. But they were still horrifically visible. I knew that without looking at them.

"Oh Kyle..." She lets the words out in one breath. Moving the tip of her thumb gently over my stomach, which I wince at. I could feel her hand shaking frantically, trying to steady it in order to strengthen herself, as if I was weakening more every second. "Why?"

"You've just summed up why." I tell her, trying to prevent myself from punching her hand away and running off. I do try to tug my shirt down again and she relents, pulling her hand away and looking at me, unsure of what to say for a while. Well that was a first.

"I love you no matter what." She confesses. "Straight, gay, atheist, Jewish, I don't care."

"Well I'm still Jewish." I force a smile and I see her mouth twinges slightly. "Even if I don't get to celebrate Christmas."

"Please... Please talk to me." She swallows. "If you feel like you'll do that again."

"You know what?" I sigh, daring to look her in the eye. "I think things are turning a corner, mom. I think... I think maybe I'm gonna be ok."

 **Bebe PoV**

I'm glad Kenny storms through the door when he does, because Wendy's constant giggling at Oprah was giving me a rash, I was close to throwing the TV at the wall. I'm not glad, however, that he comes in with even more bruises on his face and a bloody nose.

"Where the hell have you been?" I snap at him, more aggressively than intended. "Has my dad been at you again?"

"Not your dad, no." He corrects me and I frown, going over to him at the slightest sound of a slur in his voice.

"Have you had a drink?" I practically yell, before he can explain, but he just looks at me blankly. "Kenny! I trusted you! Where the fuck did you get it from? I told Skeeters not to serve you anymore."

"It was a-" He begins, not even trying to cover it up.

"Then you get into a fight?" I scream, shoving him back against the wall, so angry that he had yet again broken my trust. All the lies he had said about trying for me and the baby.

"No, that was-" He attempts to explain again, but this time it wasn't me who cuts him off, as Cartman enters the house behind him, with Wendy clicking off the TV in sudden shock at how everything had erupted in the space of two minutes.

"Hello pals." Cartman waves, in his sarcastic tone that grated on me more than Wendy's laughter. The room is in silence now as we all just stare at Cartman, waiting with bated breath at what inconvenient news he was going to face us with now. "Just checking in to see how you all are, and that you got my recent email."

"Not now, twiggy." I snap at him, experimenting with a new nickname as the old one didn't really apply. Somehow it didn't really do it justice.

"Which is more than can be said for you." Cartman points at my stomach and I'm ready to charge at him before Kenny grabs my shoulders.

"I'd run whilst you can Cartman." Kenny mutters, but he doesn't look fazed in the slightest.

"Where's Stan?" He continues, ignoring my raging expression. "Banging Kyle?"

"More likely banging your mom." Kenny retorts and Wendy glares at the pair of them.

"He's at Douglas'." She informs Cartman.

"Oh so banging someone then." He grins at his own joke. "How's the titties, Wendy?"

"Mm." She just lets out a soft sound, flashing him a sarcastic smile.

"Woah." Stan stops abruptly before bumping into Cartman as he arrives on the doorstep. "What is this, some sort of party?"

"Yes, don't we all look excited?" I imitate Stan in an over exaggerated accent and he raises an eyebrow.

"Jesus Ken, what happened to your face?" He glances at my boyfriend, his eyes widening.

"My dad is back." He says, bluntly. "Pretty self explanatory."

"At least you have a dad." Cartman points out, trying to claim the sympathy.

"You have a dad." Kenny turns to him. "Your mom, remember?"

"Cute little throwback." Cartman shakes off the insult, turning back to all of us. "Anyway, just wanted to make sure you were all on for tomorrow."

"What's this even about?" Wendy asks the question on all of our minds.

"You'll see." He flicks his car keys in the air, casually, before turning and leaving. "I'm off to get cookies for you guys, not for me of course. See y'all tomorrow."

"What the fuck?" Stan frowns as he disappears and everyone glances at him in confusion.

"...Do you think he'll get chocolate cookies?" I pipe up and they all turn to look at me as I rub my tummy as an excuse. It was true, whatever Cartman was planning, it was fucking weird.

* * *

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	50. The Most Unlikely Places

**The Most Unlikely Places**

 **Wendy PoV**

I am relieved when the curtains begin to illuminate with the morning light from outside. I had been lying awake for hours, staring at a piece of tape glued to my ceiling. I had no clue how it had got up there, I had thought over and over in my head about reasons it could have done and still had not reached a conclusion. It seemed like sometimes things just happened by magic, both good and bad, or just pretty damn weird. But that was life, it was strange sometimes, things just happen with no explanation, no reason why and we just have to deal with it. Because there's no road without twists and turns and bumps and rocky patches, no life was simple, no life was straight forward.

 **Kyle PoV**

Why me? But that's a question everyone asks themselves. Even if it's something petty from why everyone got a Three Musketeers bar in their lunch bag, but I got an apple. To why everyone else was born straight and I was born different. I didn't know what I was, but I knew I wasn't simple, like the majority of the population. I just happened to be that one in ten, what were the chances? Of seven billion people, some barely affected by anything at all, some living a rollercoaster of a life. It's just a lucky dip, it's just the roll of the dice, it's just chance. But we only get one of them, so whatever happens, we need to live it to the full, no matter what life throws at us.

 **Stan PoV**

My eyes remain closed even when the orange light reflects on them, a natural alarm clock. I don't wake up sweating from a nightmare, I don't feel exhausted from lying awake all night. I just never want to wake up, I want to lie here in bed forever, to stay hidden away. But as much as we want that, it's never gonna happen. There's always a tiny bit of strength, even in the weakest person and the smallest thing, from dragging yourself out of bed in the morning, is what makes that grow. It's our natural instinct to focus on the bad things, the things we are deprived of, the anger and the upset. But every so often, we'll see the golden colour of the autumn leaves, parting with the trees. Or a policeman buying a homeless person a coffee, rather than moving them along. Or an uplifting piece of music will start playing through your headphones. That's when we realise that life's not all bad, if we gave the good a chance, it could change everything.

 **Kenny PoV**

I wake up shivering in the damp patch on my carpet. An acidic, poisonous taste lingering on my tongue. The vile substance we all consume to feel alive, to give us confidence, to 'celebrate', to drown our sorrows. My head is pulsating in agony, my stomach is churning in disgust. This is it, once again, I feel like pure shit.

 **Bebe PoV**

"Wendy we're gonna be late!" I snap, why she was taking so long on her makeup I didn't know, we were going to Cartman's mothers meeting, not the final of Miss America.

"And you really care?" She comes down the stairs, eyebrows raised. I'm jealous for a few seconds, jealous of her skinny figure and her flawless skin. Then I remember that underneath she has scars and still has chemo to battle in a few days time. "Anything?"

"You what?" I frown, opening her front door.

"Any sign?" She gestures, locking the door behind her.

"Of an annoying best friend?" I snigger. "Yeah, plenty."

"Of labour!" She rolls her eyes, clearly annoyed at my sulky attitude. I didn't care, if she was four days overdue, she'd be the same.

"Nope, he's lazy, just like Kenny." I sigh, trying to conceal my anger.

"What's actually happening with you two?" She dares to ask.

"He's a pile of cow shit." I respond, bluntly and there's a short silence.

"...Not really the answer to my question though, is it?" She shrugs in a sarcastic tone and I give her a death glare. "Or it is..."

 **Cartman PoV**

I position the snacks on the table and stand bored for a few seconds before looking at the clock. They were all one minute late, but of course, this wasn't a big deal to them at all. I get into a habit of entwining and unravelling my fingers, I wasn't going to pretend I wasn't nervous. I'm glad when the door bursts open because I'm not stood going over it in my head.

 **Kenny PoV**

"Details?" I ask Kyle, almost excitedly and he raises an eyebrow in my direction.

"You sound like a thirteen year old girl." He laughs slightly.

"It's exciting!" I grin and he shakes his head.

"It's not." He scoffs, his face softening slightly. "I don't want it to be either, please don't say anything. Not even to Bebe, you know what a mouth she has on her."

"I can assure you I won't be saying anything to Bebe." I sigh, before stopping outside a door. "This is it, right?"

"Wait, let me just-" Kyle begs me, before trailing off. It was the first time he had seen Stan in months, he was trying to conceal it with this Noah guy, but I could tell he was panicking.

"It's gotta happen at home point." I try to explain.

"Not really." He frowns. "We go to college in a few weeks, I'm sure I can go undercover until then."

"Do you really want to do that?" I raise an eyebrow. "After everything we've been through here, all the adventures, the laughs, the tears, you really want this to be how it ends?"

There's a long pause and I'm surprised I actually said something half decent for once. He sighs and I know I've got through to him, I must have done.

"...Yeah I don't give a shit to be fair." He shrugs and starts to walk off before I grab the hem of his shirt and practically throw him through the door.

 **Kyle PoV**

I stumble through the door, tripping on the hem of uneven carpet. Fantastic, another handful of karma I didn't deserve. I look up, coughing slightly to try and make my fuck up look smooth, and my eyes fall straight onto Stan, and his eyes fall straight on to me.

 **Stan PoV**

I try to force myself to look away, but I can't. I haven't seen his eyes for months, they look so different now, now I know everything. I wonder how long those eyes have looked at me like this for and until now I'd looked back, having no clue. He swallows, moving his eyes away before procrastinating by giving Kenny a death glare and punch in the arm.

"Welcome fellas, come and take a seat." Cartman smiles sickly to them and Kenny pulls a face, traipsing over to us and slouching in a seat next to Bebe. She gives his foot a little kick as if it is over the 'safe zone' and he scoots his chair away from her in a dramatic fashion. Kyle on the other hand, gives another cough and sits on the edge of his chair, awkwardly, placing his hands in his lap, then by his sides, and then back in his lap, causing me to roll my eyes slightly. That alone was a clear sign that wasn't clear prior to this moment. "Right, now everyone is here."

"We can go home, whoop-de-do." Wendy jumps up, clapping her hands and I pull her back down, grinning at her subtly,

"I guess you're wondering why I called this meeting." Cartman crosses his arms, a smarmy look across his face. "I'd like to thank you all for making an appearance-"

"Get to the point else I'll be giving birth in here." Bebe snaps.

"...At least we're in a hospital." Kenny drones with a disgusted expression.

"I think we all need to talk." He proposes, glancing at all our reactions. "About what's been happening, how we've been feeling, the situations we've got ourself into. If we all share it, like a counselling session if you will, then we can really understand what everyone has been going through and take it into-"

"You are the most racist, sadistic, offensive, homophobic, selfish asshole the world has ever had in existence." Kyle cuts him off and I can't help but smile slightly. His eyes move straight to me and he sees it, and the corner of his mouth raises slightly as he shoots a slight smile back. A pang of the past hits me and I force it away by looking back at the floor, causing Kyle to revert back to what he was saying. "Why would you even care?"

"Yeah, we're all going off to college in a few weeks." Kenny shrugs. "We're never gonna see each other again, why does it matter?"

"That's exactly the point." Cartman sighs. "Even if we don't ever see each other again, do we really want to leave it like this? After everything we've been through?"

 **Cartman PoV**

There's a long, torturous silence. I waited, I waited for them to get up and leave, sniggering and rolling their eyes. I debated who would get up first; Kyle hated me the most, or maybe Wendy did, but Kenny was less patient and Stan was fed up with life anyway. I decided it would probably be Bebe, she didn't have time for this, she was already pissed at the world and in the most uncomfortable position on these hard hospital chairs. The friction was itchy beneath my bony flesh, causing me to shift uncomfortably for many reasons but that one.

But then, to my surprise, one of the haunted individuals stands.

* * *

 _Six teenagers were sat in a circle, staring into one another's eyes and daring someone to speak first. There were secrets that had to be told, secrets that could not forever be kept inside them. It was now or never._

 _Stan Marsh rose bravely, observing his five friends. "I used to be the boy with the red puffball hat. The simple kid of the group. The 'norm'. Until this aura began to crush me, pushing down on me with its full force of negativity. It was drowning me, I didn't know why, what had happened to make me feel this sad, down, low. What have I done to deserve this? What happened to give me depression?"_

 _"Well you all know me as the 'Jew'. Stan's 'side-kick'. 'The boy with the green hat'." Kyle Broflovski followed in his friend's footsteps. "But you don't know my full identity, the real truth, the real me. See I was brought up to believe that Jesus created me to follow his rules, live the life he made for me. Which is all very confusing, because... Being gay is difficult when you don't know whether to trust the Torah, or believe in who you are supposed to be. But I guess I'm finally finding myself now."_

 _"People say I sleep around." Bebe gave a slight cough. "I suppose it's true... Well you all know it's true. Problem is, I didn't realise it was true until something turned me in the other direction, something I can't change. So now I am going to have this baby, because it is my responsibility, my consequences, it is part of me. They say everything happens for a reason... Let's hope that is true. "_

 _"My name is Kenny McCormick and I am an alcoholic." Kenny raised his voice. "You see people say that all the time on TV programmes. But it is so much harder to say when you actually mean it. When the words weren't just written in a script. When you have had the time to come to terms with the truth. Everyone has enemies and my enemy is the bottle. The cold, refreshing liquid that kills you whilst you are living on cloud nine. My mother always told me that it's the things we need most that destroy us. But never did I think that thing would come in a can."_

 _"Well I suppose I had it coming to me. Because anything I try to prevent just gets stronger." Wendy Testaburger was shaking as she stood up. "I worked so hard to raise awareness for breast cancer. I collected money, painted posters, even physically hurt those who disrespected the people who were being hurt by it themselves. So of course it was going to happen to me. The least expected student in the school. The studious, witty girl who was full of potential. It had to find me to weaken."_

 _"We have all heard the rhyme 'sticks and stones may break my bones, but names can never hurt me'. But we all also know that despite saying it is a pile of shit, it is actually the truth." Eric Cartman recites, clenching his fists as he does so. "Because words don't hurt you. They kill you. They kill you without a weapon. They sink into your brain and eat out your thoughts. It is more painful than any other physical pain, because it stays with you. Being told you are fat, is something a lot of people are told, true or not. But either way, it is not nice. Especially when you have been like this since you can remember. So that's why I stopped eating, because I couldn't take the words anymore. The words stopped and so did my heart for a short while. Because they drove me to anorexia."_

* * *

"You're really packing all those shoes?"

"Make sure you have a filling breakfast before you set off, poopsikins."

"You're not gonna get anywhere without this passport I found under your bed!"

"Call me when you get there, won't you. Actually, ring your mother. Or don't ring either of us, it's the first time we'll have the house to ourselves in months."

"Make us proud sweetie, take everything from this past year, and use it to live life to the full."

"I love you, I know I don't always show it, but I do. Take care of yourself."

 **Stan PoV**

"So this is it then." I sigh, preventing my voice from cracking.

"I guess it is." Kyle glances up the snowy street, squinting slightly in the morning air.

"It seems so much smaller... But bigger at the same time." Kenny reminisces. "Like nothing but everything has changed."

"...Well it has been built back up about six hundred times." Bebe shrugs, heading towards us out of the house.

"Have you said goodbye to him?" Wendy asks, as Kenny smiles at her and she nods, bravely.

"Hardest thing I've had to do, apart from this." She bites her lip, soft blonde curls falling perfectly over her shoulders. "But I know Garrison is gonna be a great dad, and I can visit whenever I want to."

"That's something I never thought would be said about good old Garrison." Cartman grins. "Good job that baby isn't an egg, hey."

"I'm really gonna miss you guys." Wendy's voice breaks as a tear rolls down her cheek and Craig is the first to hug her, as Tweek watches on, just smiling warmly.

"Oh Eric, I'm going to miss you." Butters attempts to give Cartman a hug but he is pushed off abruptly.

"Alright it's college not the Titanic." Cartman responds defensively. "...How about a playful fist bump, to pretend we were ever friends?"

"I remember when I first got out of the cab in this street, back in 4th grade." Nicole recalls. "I mean, apart from being locked in the gym changing rooms and being stereotyped automatically, it was a great feeling. A fresh start, and now we're all gonna have the opportunity to have another one."

"Oh yeah, and Cartman had that imaginary friend." Kyle smirks, clicking his fingers. "What was his name, um..."

"Cupid me." Token scoffs.

"That was the one." Kyle claps his hands. "Hey, we always knew you were weird."

"Yeah and we always knew you were gay." Cartman puffs his chest out. "Ever since I wrote Little Red Riding Kyle."

"Nah we all knew before that, dude." Clyde elbows Kyle and he rolls his eyes.

"See, I remember none of this." Douglas whispers in my ear and I turn to him.

"But you've got your own memories. I've got mine." I shake my head. "See, I've learnt something today, this past year actually, and that's that memories are an amazing thing; some may be together and some may be apart, but they are always from our perspective. That's what makes them so special, it's the little things only you ever picked up on, the feelings only you ever felt, because at the end of the day, you're gonna go off and make so many more. Without anyone else, the only person who will always remember everything, who will always understand, is you."

"The cars are here." Wendy sounds, softly as Douglas hugs me, before returning to have Emily wrapped around his shoulders. Kenny wipes away a tear quickly, as Bebe runs at Wendy, almost knocking her over as she bursts into tears.

 **Wendy PoV**

"Thank you for everything." She whispers in my ear and my tears soak her hair. She doesn't care, I don't care, and for that minute we are holding each other I never want to let go, because I know this was the last time we were ever going to be this close. We were going to be living on separate sides of the United States, we could kid ourselves, and we could stay friends. But never were we going to have what we've had for the past eighteen years. She had depended on me and I had depended on her. We had fallen out but fallen back in again. But there's a point in our lives when however scary it is, we have to let go. That's the whole point of life; to live it.

 **Bebe PoV**

"Thank you." She breathes and I hold on to her words, praying I will never forget them. "I love you, so much."

"I love you too." I whisper, pulling away because I knew if I didn't right now, I never would. She moves back to where Stan grabs her waist and I envy them, I envy the fact they worked out, I envy the fact they're going to carry on and know each other, live together, get married, have a family. They would, they were strong enough and I was so happy for them, and that exceeded anything else. I turn to Kenny, meeting his gaze.

"Good luck." I smile warmly, and part of it hurts, but the other part of it feels right.

"You too." His face softens, not knowing what to say even though there were so many things we needed to. "I won't forget you, us."

"I guess it would be hard to forget me." I fight back tears and he wells up, nodding with a slight smile on his cheeks. He hesitates before pulling me in for a hug and my head rests in his chest. "Stay safe, you."

 **Kenny PoV**

The words hit me like a tonne of bricks. I would, I knew I would, I was done with the silliness and the immaturity now. The self-loathing and the pity, and that had made it all the more clearer.

"I promise, I will." I grip her tightly for a few more seconds before letting go. "Remember to use a condom." I playfully punch her in the arm.

"You too." She laughs beneath tears, so that her voice cracks just enough to reveal the past. I turn to see Cartman stood alone, hands in his pockets, watching the scene go on.

"For you." He looks up in surprise as I approach him, handing him a silver necklace from my pocket. He flips it over and reads the writing engraved on the other side. _F.F._

"You kept this?" He frowns. "But I was just trying to get my hands on your PSP."

"I know." I nod. "But maybe somewhere, deep down, it meant something. And to be honest it's the only thing you've ever given me that really meant anything... Apart from that can of string beans you donated to school that I won for my family on Thanksgiving. So yeah, I kept it, because you're a prick Cartman, you really are. But I guess... That's what made our childhood, someone had to be like that and without you it wouldn't have been the same. Not at all."

 **Cartman PoV**

It was one of the nicest things anyone had said to me, and it wasn't much. I slip the necklace into my pocket, promising I wouldn't drop this one in Kitty's food and never see it again...

"Thank you, Kenny." I smile, genuinely. "And thank you for being so poor so I could cover up that my mom used coupons to buy my school dinners."

"You're welcome." He shakes his head, a grin on his face. He reaches out and shakes my hand. "Look after yourself."

I watch him walk away, and in those few seconds I feel completely changed. I feel like I actually did have some good impact on people's lives, in all our years here.

"Kyle?" I call over and he turns away from Tweek, to look at me, a puzzled expression on his face. I go over, smiling slightly before cocking my head to one side. I debate whether to go in and hug him, but resort to just a pat on the back. "I'm proud of you."

"...What?" His eyes widen slightly and I screw my nose up at the cringe.

"I said, I'm proud of you." I repeat and his face relaxes, trying to judge whether it was a joke or not. But I stand, as myself, in front of him, with everything stripped away, and eventually he smiles.

 **Kyle PoV**

I'm in shock for about a minute, trying to work out if he had just said those words. Trying to work out whether it was Cartman, or the opposite Cartman from the parallel universe that we used to play pretend about as kids. But it was him, this was him being genuine.

"...Thank you." I whisper, hesitating in the awkwardness, shuffling my feet slightly. "Take care, and remember to think before you speak. That's your downfall."

"And you remember that Jews don't have rhythm." He nods and pull a face at him, but not feeling pissed off or annoyed at his comment. I spin round, shocked as I almost bump into Stan, who had been stood behind me.

"Oh, sorry." I cough slightly, but he doesn't move.

"No I'm sorry." He admits and I realise this was an intended mistake. "Sorry for not making this last year as good as the rest. For pushing you away and not understanding."

"Likewise." I resist him, before giving up and sighing all of my pain out. I force back tears because I know this is the last time I will ever see him. I force back tears because all our memories are now tainted. I force back tears because even if we were staying here forever, things would never be the same. "Thank you for being such a big part of my life."

"I won't forget you Kyle, you know that, yeah?" He looks at me intently. Those deep, caring eyes I'd known for so many years, since I could remember. I force myself to look at them, and tears start to fall down my cheeks.

"Yeah I know." I gasp slightly. "Because I won't either."

"I'm so sorry." He starts crying too, stepping slightly closer to me.

"Apologies are pointless." I shake my head, smiling at him. "Because we know it's not gonna change anything that's happened, or what is ever gonna happen..." I pause, trying to prevent myself from doing what I know I'm going to do anyway. He puts his arms around me and I put mine around him. "I'll miss you so much."

"I'll miss you so much." He repeats, before moving back and I immediately feel empty again. "You deserve to be happy, Kyle. Let it happen."

"Have a good life." I beg him, tearing my eyes away and grabbing my suitcase, opening the door to the first cab. I climb in, not daring to look behind me before I am moving, moving forwards and down the road. Past the array of multi-coloured houses that border the streets of snow. Past the children in puffball hats, throwing snowballs, glad winter had returned after the month of summer. Past Elementary school, past Skeeters, past the community centre, past Stark's pond, the remnants of Soda Sopa and Kenny's house, the field of cattle, the South Park sign.

Past everything I had ever known, moving towards the unknown; the start of a new adventure.

* * *

' _The greatest secrets are always kept in the most unlikely places'. ~ Roald Dahl._


	51. Author Conclusion

_**Hi,**_

 _ **Thank you to everyone who has stuck by this book, who has supported it and reviewed, for the past two years.**_

 _ **I took the comical characters of South Park, because there should always be a lighthearted side to everything, and each of their stories are something waiting to be developed.**_

 _ **I wrote this book, not only to explain my own feelings, but to express to all of you out there, that you're not alone. That you shouldn't hide away. Whatever you are experiencing, there will always be someone there to help you along the way. We all live our own lives, but a life would be nothing without other people to live it with them.**_

 _ **So many teenagers today face the issues raised in this book. Some more rare than others. But so many people suffer in silence, and so to take a group of characters used in a manner of entertainment and comedy, I tried to show that no matter who you may be, there are always going to be stumbles and obstructions in life. Even if it does seem fun and games, no one goes through life without feeling pain. We're all in the same boat, we're all helping each other along. Believe in yourself and others will too. No one should be ashamed about who they are, it's what makes us individual.**_

 _ **Just like the characters, you have a whole future ahead of you. This is just chapter one, allow yourself to keep writing your own story, it's special, it's precious and it's yours. Let yourself be happy, whatever that takes.**_

 _ **I hope you all enjoyed this fanfiction, and sorry if the updates were slightly delayed at times! I can't thank you enough for the support and motivation I've received and I hope some of you continue to read my other fics in the future.**_

 _ **A massive thank you to RatherOddRanger (Lee) for giving me some ideas for this story and helping me along in the process, I couldn't be more grateful!**_

 _ **Don't suffer in silence, there's a whole world of people out there who care about you.**_

 _ **Lots of love,**_  
 _ **Hannah x**_


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